My intentions weren't to hurt you. I wasn't as good as a friend as I wanted to be. I do care about you because I want you to get help. I still want you to get the help you need, but I know I can't help you the way you need. It would be selfish for me even to pretend I could. I hurt you and you hurt me. I wish you could see how much I honestly care about you. I hope one day you will.
I’m just metaphorical speaking I meant writing..I’m actually typing though. There’s something I want you to know...
I decided to reopen that attic door. It was suppose to be open many times before. I went up them stairs frighten and scared. Wood started creaking, Voices were speaking. Unpleasant feeling triggers all in head. Feels like a threat but I ignore them instead. All these old friends that I neglected. I’m just a person “why would they be affected?” Due to abandonment layers of dust had collected. Decided to handle it I knew problems be expected. My back turned is not an exception. Time to clean up my messes.
Sometimes you wonder should I really go through a door that I should or shouldn’t open. Some doors are best left closed. Don’t want to reopen old wounds or problems. Cause further pain or it could turn out to be happiness. You know my problems is I want to be cool with everyone. Or have everyone to be cool with me. But usually in life a bad friend or even an ex should be left alone. That doors should not be open. The past will come up eventually in the conversation. Why have that feeling of awkwardness either you’ll have it or the opposite person will. Then that door is closed once again. I guess if that person dies I don’t want to begin again with a goodbye.