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Jun 27 · 948
After all
Pax Jun 27
its the night when your
life becomes sleepless

your day might be reckless
doing things after things
of uselessness

i am tired,
no, i don't need sleep
no, i don't need rest
i just want that feeling
i could hold and hug
to where i kiss and wish
be loved for me to love back

i sigh waiting for a sign
that i am still alive
after all.
I feel so dead, feels so cold for so long..
Happy B-Day to me.
May 27 · 3.1k
Pax May 27
most of us are lonely
often our pools are too deep and
no one seem to bother swimming in our depths
perhaps it takes a skilled diver to understand
our inner core.

and because we feel too much
we drown ourselves in the pool of
sorrows, dying in self pity.
Apr 28 · 1.7k
Pax Apr 28
My heaven is in you.
Truly i wish ill find you.
Apr 21 · 1.1k
Bound to be deep
Pax Apr 21
I was bound to be the only ocean
too deep for you to love.
And my waves are to harsh for you to see my Beauty.
Apr 10 · 997
Pax Apr 10
In your darkest days
I became your light
But in mine you
Never were
I wonder.
Sometimes its tiring to be just the light. You never got to see my darkness, because you were not there.
Mar 12 · 520
never gone
Pax Mar 12
I was never gone,
yet I was not even seen.
How could you ever love me
If you still never see me.
Jan 17 · 1.0k
Pax Jan 17
Your beauty never fails in calming me.
Me seeing the ocean
Jan 3 · 716
Near me
Pax Jan 3
In the busiest days I still find time to look at you and just feel you near me.
a quote.
A reminder.
A love like no other.
Happy New Year.
Despite being busy,
Its a must to find time
For a love one.

Dec 2018 · 1.6k
Ocean ripple
Pax Dec 2018
A rippling effect
has the ocean
grace us, love
never left us
as time
stumble into
a halt
bad memories
into a
simply forgotten,
we changed
for the
A prompt of a pic. I took, see my instagram.
Dec 2018 · 277
to be loved
Pax Dec 2018
how broke are you,
to make you this weak?
how am I able to
fix you when
you, yourself
never allow me too...?

I am the little flicker
able to flip worst
into a brighter

please have patient
and be lenient
to thy self
it's never too
late, to believe
and hope
a light
will come,
even a fool
has a chance
to be loved.
sometimes I am thinking on giving up this life
but some flicker keeps me going, telling me
to go on as best as I can. even if its lonely
even if its tiring, I still can carry on, I hope
so, hope ill last the best I can... so i hope you
too dear readers...
Dec 2018 · 846
Pax Dec 2018
Those times when my ocean almost reach your sky.
Nov 2018 · 394
Pax Nov 2018
I scream towards emptiness
as it only echoed a numbing silence
its no used to abused
the strained voice
and struggled curses
all seems useless
so just give in
to the given
for a time
just once in a while
*Screeching in Silences*
Deprived old soul,
Poisoning my own
Nov 2018 · 583
Pax Nov 2018
I was left hanging
in your garden heart
yet I was only a ****
who never got your
Nov 2018 · 652
Pax Nov 2018
you lure me like
a mosquito
craving for your
for your
But then
like any other
you fear
Sep 2018 · 2.8k
Pax Sep 2018
I fall into the deepest dream.
Hug by darkness, i give in.
Then by miracle i was torn
to be reborn.
it's been long...
Jul 2018 · 3.9k
Pax Jul 2018
Your pride is too high
you can't
even fly.
just saying.
a quote
a shoutout
a reminder
its really okay to have it we all do but we need to even it out
balance is everything.
Jul 2018 · 8.3k
Pax Jul 2018
There is only
one you in
Multiple meanings
Jul 2018 · 537
Pax Jul 2018
Your sincerity
becomes a
menial job.
There are too few good doctors now a days. This is just how i feel in my country.
Jul 2018 · 1.6k
What makes a poem - a poem?
Pax Jul 2018
What makes a poem
- a poem?
Does it express your
emotional life and
the selfish deeds
it contains
.... then you shamelessly
Share it...

Does it really matter
someone might
read it or not?
Someone might
understand you or
not, does that really

In the world
we live in
many hearts
have died
for they don't
know how our
pen works.
How it does
- what it does.

When a poem
does all the
it may seeks
the power of
fame and fortune
but does it really

I may not understand
fully what makes a poem
- a poem. But behind all
of it, I'm just here
trying to write a poem
whom my heart
spoke out loud
like he never could.
"How many have to die
so that you can feel loved.
by Florence + the Machine"

you know her music resonates my darkness.
her music really tugs some heartstrings I
tried to hide.
Jun 2018 · 1.1k
first love
Pax Jun 2018
Doesn't matter who
come first in your heart
as long as I was the one
who stayed
true to my love
for you.

you were never
first love only last as long as you stayed true to your love. sometimes the heart gets tired, it weathers as you stop nourishing its root - neglect and broken trust, a heart can die.

thanks for reading.
May 2018 · 1.6k
How do you love the Unloved?
Pax May 2018
Too many shattered Mirrors
Mirroring my sins.

Too many walls
Hindering my wings.

My growth remains
as silence Kills.

How do you love the
I was never a writer
I was just some poet
Who seek some
understanding in my
understatement @pax

at times I feel so tired...
thanks to those who still read me..
May 2018 · 560
Pax May 2018
My life is a stroke of luck
in order to have a good life,
Ive sacrifice the blooming
Scent of lotus
Never having
Never falling
only taking
Comfort on the
Sidelines and
Shadowy shelters,
Seems happiness
has evaded me....
I leave with this quote of mine as a reminder for me:

The thing about waiting is
it takes much longer
since from the start
you never make a move.
Apr 2018 · 8.3k
Pax Apr 2018
You've enslaved my heart
before I could ever say
I'm willing.
a quote

I want to say my thanks to my long time friend beth by saying this: your writing searches for truth from our deepest wells of feeling.
Apr 2018 · 922
dimlit star
Pax Apr 2018
You were the dimlit star
I am trying to reach.

You've lost much
of your glow
how I wish
my light would reach you, and
teach you
     that in life
you're ever so beautiful.

How the harsh words of the world
barricades you soft spoken heart
into stones.
thank you all in reading my lightly lit star in my so dim world.

ive secluded much of my world into the four corners of my home, hated to see how harsh can the world judge me. also hated this part of me, a coward. I needed to remind myself of this feeling to move forward even a little step will do.
Mar 2018 · 7.9k
Pax Mar 2018
You've loved them
enough to know,
- You'd lost.
A quote
Mar 2018 · 742
Pax Mar 2018
At most insecurities defines every envy.
a quote, 6w.

not sure either ill come back or not, writing seems so far away. my darkness keeps invading. life's darkness its weakening my defences..

I truly wish everyone is okay here and doing fine.
Jan 2018 · 1.3k
never have i
Pax Jan 2018
Never have i lived to cherish
a bloosoming flower nor
never have i found one
to begin with.

Never have i been cherished
for people only see my dying
roots nor
never have i reach my full
i remain the
sapling who have
been judge too
      many to count.

Never have i want to reach
the losing end
a certain limit
So near, i fear.....
a poet for me - are thinker, observer, admirer of beauty, emotionaly smart but most at the time they're sad people looking for  understanding. @pax
Nov 2017 · 1.0k
Pax Nov 2017
as much as I crave warmth
I can't when
my veiws of the world
are much so
A shoutout. A qoute. Alone.
Nov 2017 · 756
Pax Nov 2017
My life is not fair and square
it's round and grounded.
Hello my friends sorry for being away, for the past previous months i was busy transferring my things exiting saudi arabia... Now im back here in the Philippines finally, its good to be home and the bad thing is im jobless for the mean time which is challenging considering our country's situation as usual.. Thanks for reading...
Aug 2017 · 1.1k
Pax Aug 2017
I was the star
who lost his
glow -

as I function
living for the
sake of living
as my heart
has stop breathing
the love he
suppose to

I burried my own
unglowing star
its hopeless.

I've been reading, reading,
watching, watching,
and working, working
same old, same old
until I lost my glow
and stop being wishful
as I know time has stop
as I drop
my dream,

I lived because
I can still pretend.
I guess this will be my last post for a while but I will not be gone just around. writing seems so away now, I guess that my life becomes dull as my heart slowly turning to a stone. this piece pretty much explain what ive been doing. I will write again when im back in my own country, it's good news to me that im exiting suadi Arabia, soon...sigh... another big challenges will come to me, another big step i'll take....
Jul 2017 · 13.1k
Pax Jul 2017
No lies escapes someone's sharp mind.
just saying, quick reminder, a quote, 6 words story.
Jul 2017 · 12.3k
left behind
Pax Jul 2017
im used to
being left
so it doesn't hurt anymore.

6words story.
Jul 2017 · 1.5k
Pax Jul 2017
your disability is never your weakness,
its your greatest motivation
in finding
the strength
just a quick reminders....
a quote
Jul 2017 · 1.6k
right & wrong
Pax Jul 2017
I can say the right things
yet in the wrong time,
while I say the wrong things
in the right time.
seems contradicting but in truth, I better stay silent and listen more than confronting any situations thats for the later part....
Jul 2017 · 1.6k
music sheet
Pax Jul 2017
there's a solemn tune in my core
that longs for warmth
- a melodic rhythm
that produces spring's blossom.

though my core is in
solemn mood
but the mind speaks
  - its a mess.

never have i asked
something great
like a grand
Autumn concerto
just wanting
his own
music sheet
playing the song
to the one
     who cares.

for how long
will I be
or where will
I ever find the sign
for the right
notes befitting
to my tunes?

asking questions
only time can tell.
I'll wait....
longing i knew so well...
Jun 2017 · 2.3k
Pax Jun 2017
you don't know how to carry
the burden of being alone
you can try by pretending
to have company.

But in the end of the
day, sleep
is your
best friend.
just a simple shout-out to self
Jun 2017 · 11.8k
Pax Jun 2017
often tough times taught us to write.

© pax
I'll leave this quote to everyone...
May 2017 · 882
Pax May 2017
A piece of my heart
has been sliced
to where its been crushed
to blend
something new.

I've grown to
the big sea
to where I was
afraid of being aware
this might
then, it already has
as so I let it be
for a time
that I never forgot
nor forgive
what they

I know my flaws
are evident,
it is what makes
who I am, 'not perfect'
as I improved,
honed and
proved to feel
the understanding
of the big sea
but it doesn't mean
you can freely capture
someone's heart
to tear apart,
*a sincere poet
never steals the
life of others.
Not sure where to start, as to the poem itself speaks volume, I've been away from writing because of my busy schedule when i came back i found out that one or two of my work are stolen. I was never really a great writer to begin with as to i wonder why they would steal from me. And there's also stories that uses my quotes without crediting me, sigh... Perhaps this is the reality. sad, disappointed and distraught to myself, but everything is a risk, so posting in all writing/poetry sites, your words are bound to be stolen when someone liked it without you knowing it. sigh.... "i write not!" was one of the stolen.
May 2017 · 8.4k
Pax May 2017
I've left my feelings
just a quick shout out, short but it says what is just needed to say. Less but not much. Sorry for being away, its seems like i just bottled up my feelings yet again and stow it away to be a faded unanswered feelings... sigh...

i hope everyone(my literary friends) are well...

thank you for reading...
Apr 2017 · 1.7k
Deserted Tears
Pax Apr 2017
I've driven myself in
to the valley of deserted

To where it's too hot,
while living is an isolation.

There's no river nor
lush forest around,
its as dry as the desert
sands, then humidity
strikes your nerves
that you'll feel

The crimson sky
Bleeds of its inking

I on the other hand
solidify my strength
to ease the burden
I carry, as i lift myself
Little by little towards
A meaningful step

© pax
I wrote this as a means to remind myself for the beauty of life.
Apr 2017 · 870
Happy quote?
Pax Apr 2017
I don't want my life to be
amazing, i just want it
to be happy...
Aren't we all want this? there are some happiness that are short, some takes longer, and some never arrive at all. There are some happiness that  are amazing or simple - big or small... I guess my happiness didn't arrive yet, as i am a late bloomer or very much reserved to the point of being afraid... im still overcoming that.. this thought/quote sprang to mind thinking i don't want an amazing life, with all the luxury or many amazing achievements, i just want to be loved and to love back in the simplest way of life, but i guess its still too much to asked. :(
Apr 2017 · 1.2k
I write not
Pax Apr 2017
I write not because i seek your truth,
i just do - for someone who seeks
understanding in all the doors we see.

I write not because i seek your pity,
i just do - for someone who seeks
understanding in all tough roads we
go through.

I write not because this is a job,
i just do - for someone who seeks
relief to the burden he has not
spoken out loud.

© pax
Apr 2017 · 9.8k
Life quote 1.2 (6w)
Pax Apr 2017
Friend's Sincerity comes with Silent Comfort.
-six word story-

I've seen far enough superficiality in this world. That's why I don't ask much advice from anyone in the outside world. I've decided to look for them myself. A friend who understand without saying at all, is a treasure.
Apr 2017 · 1.5k
commotion of emotions
Pax Apr 2017
In the weirdness of things I burn-out my own will
Begun to suffocate the breathless breathing.
Slowly I’m becoming dead,
the strength I held is not my own.
I still go on, like everything
didn’t seems to matter anymore.

In the commotion of emotions,
Fear is like fuel to my fire –
A spark that kept me block.
Lock on my own isolation,
prisoner of my own dominion.

I wish for the star to shine,
Yet it won’t glow for me,

© Pax
this was the complete poem of this little piece:
2014 - old work of mine. But there was a commotion of emotions this week, I was sick with Typhoid Fever, I've eating something cheap and gotten me sick. It was frustrating, so alone for two days, its hard even to eat something. when you're in abroad, living alone, its hard to get sick.. even with a roommate, they would not care for you unless your dying. SO i just slept it all up, still in the end you get up and fend for yourself, pick up your pieces even your body is at the weak state. I guess this is adult life with no one to lean on to. sigh..
Now I'm a little better.
Mar 2017 · 8.9k
Pax Mar 2017
Where does hierarchy begin?
    Is it where the strong is on top,
and the weak step upon?

Where does your dignity be placed?
   Is it where your always be the winner,
no matter what, even it has bitter taste.

Is SURVIVAL really that cruel?
That some of us are just a tool,
a fool for the strong to be cool.

No, it can't be that bad
yet reality is quite sad.

Despite our hard beginnings
Life still is beautiful
that losing isn't everything.

Dignity is placed -
where you respect yourself the most
and Hierarchy isn't important
to where your love is...

© Pax
yeH! a new poem, a longer one and it's been long i haven't rhyme like this. a bit hard when you have limited vocab, my apologies for its simplicity and many thanks for reading.
Mar 2017 · 1.7k
Pax Mar 2017

From time to time
I feel blue
and cook my own stew.
Its bland and
taste good enough
for my stomach.

I knew from the start
that my cooking
isn't really that great
nor it's appetising.
my milk is
I'm not fond of sodas
dislike the fact that
it boils my

Food, for now
they're within
reach, though
must someday
will come -
starvation is

I cooked up a metaphor...
My life in dual meaning.
Mar 2017 · 1.7k
learn to swim
Pax Mar 2017
To why I did these kind of things
and to why I need to let go
to stop and just live.
Never minding what they say
about me or who I am
or dictate my life should be
I just want to be me
without Hesitation,
or wall that blocks me from falling
into the river.
To stop fearing in drowning
and learn to swim
like everybody else has done.
I wrote this awhile back: April-11-2016. I can't believe that this is benefiting to what i felt the other day. I should learn to to swim and learn how to ignore the nonsense people say...
Mar 2017 · 721
Pax Mar 2017
Who are you to criticise my life?
Who do you think you are?
Did i ever asked your opinion?
Are we that close for you to think
How my life should be?
In the end stop commenting
And making fun of me
It isn't really funny...
Mar 2017 · 643
it was me
Pax Mar 2017
i was careless
as more often
i am indecisive
i'm used to say
it was me -
faults of my own

i guess i
made mistakes
more than
i can count
  - often they
knew im guilty
if so i let them
misunderstood me

i see it now
it was me
Raw feeling, i wanted to cry earlier, but can't cry to my own stupidity.
Mar 2017 · 1.3k
gray solace
Pax Mar 2017
I am not me like what you want me to be
        I am here like you always wanted me to be
How could I ever be me, the me I want to be

I’m tired of you, tired of crying in the dark.
pretending at the park
                - watching people talk with voices that barks
I feared it will spark an awful reaction stark
So I build an ark -
Sailed away into far,
                      far - dream land
where prejudice & judgment is not in our hands
but in the all caring higher being's commands.

Then again reality is never like that,
So I hide, I stumble, and I fall
     into the gray solace of my patience
The higher being cares, yet you need choices
to stay strong - fight and survived
                        until blessings comes along
                                and heal the dying soulful song.

© 2013
Old notes: "a positive poem I guess - i am not sure it's worth posting. Since the month of June, i became sickly... and i have lost my pen of expression and the courage to write a piece. I always lose confidence, lose my self-knowing that i can... lose everything all together to the overly sensitive soul, then fall into darkness, alone - then come back into the gray solace - never wanting to give up what i hope will come true, someday, somewhere in time."

now looking back at this note and re-reading this poem again, then posting it here, i realized that my driving force in writing is my emotional self, on which right now i feel dull, seems like im losing my will to write, and to cope up with realities barricades...

thanks for reading... hoping you and I can find something in this piece, something good, something nice, something positive to move forward to...
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