It can only be stitched together
          with understanding
   The holes filled
               with trust
        And the missing pieces replaced
                    with love
            
             But a Broken Heart will always
                         remain *broken

I'm laying my ragged twisted
       insides in the ground
   Mourning the death
           As if my soul has gone to hell
    And my heart
             Has died slowly
      And painfully
   But my body
         Is still here
   But hollow and black
        Through and though
Just flowing through
         The paces
   Just waiting for **death

YOU
  are no more me
    than I am
       *MYSELF
Yet,
    you
      think you know
   *me
         like the back of your hand
   or the words you write
       or the rhymes you create
YOU
      might think you know how I feel
         or what I think
            or what I've done
    but
        you
will never understand my SOUL
    or the inner workings of my mind
So,
     you
         can go choke on the words you write,
     the songs you sing
and the hearts you steal
       because
YOU
      can never have my life

There's
     a
        FIRE
            in
                my
                     SOUL
                 burning
              me
          ALIVE
       from
   the
INSIDE
    out.
        No
            WATER
                or
                    wind
                 CAN
             control
         it.

Too many times
I've been pushed aside
     On the back burner
My whole **** life
         But I wanna be the fire
   That lights your soul
I want a raging, blazing
         Inferno
      Sparking flames
Making changes
        In the chemistry
   A little oxygen
       So I can breathe
A lot of hydrogen
     So you can believe
We're floating on air
        Particles you can't see
      Like love
It's a mystery
            A theory
   Of who's meant to be
And who's left suffering
         That's destiny
     I'm creating
Breaking
     Changing the flames
   Into ashes
And graves
      With no names
Just broken hearts
          On tombstones
     And no chance
*To restart

The snow is white, very bright
As bright as the clouds
Very soft, very cold
Very very very old

Snow is white, such a sight
So very bright and so very soft
Beautiful and filled with ice
Very very very cold

Clouds are white and fluffy
Very bright and very soft
Round, rabbits, elephants, shapes
Very very very old

It's a nightmare
Being the burnt out
Shooting star
Replaced by the light
Of a full moon

It's a nightmare
Being hidden underneath
Clouds and overcast skies
Replaced by angel eyes
That makes you swoon

It's a nightmare
Being darkened
By nights that glow
Replaced by a shooting star
Brighter than you ever were

It's a nightmare
Being overshadowed
By dreams of the sun
Replaced by love,
Hope, joy, life... **with her

In depths of despair
     I can find some joy
                 In knowing
       He, who loves
   And cares so deeply
      Means a lot to me
Seems to have something
           A light, a star
     That makes him happy
Although, I wish to be
             The one who shines
Who makes his days brighter
        Who's strong enough
To carry through for both of us
            And he's a fighter
But that's not always enough
        I find comfort
            I have some peace
Believing that, just maybe
        There's a reason
           A fate, a destiny
    Something else for me
Or maybe it's a crossroad
            A bridge
And getting to the other side
       Will bring clarity
               Peace of mind
    And we'll fulfill
A path that we created
         Lessons to be learned
Or that 'just friends'
      Isn't necessarily
              A bad thing
  Just push forward
Think of where I'm going
         Who I'm being
   And that he has another path
To walk, to cut branches
         For something unplanned
  A fate not yet claimed
            Or just maybe
     That's what destiny is
Struggling through the pain
      To learn from your mistakes
           And find a new path  to take
   But I really gotta say
        It all makes me stronger
   It's something I can't regret
            Cause his happiness
    Makes me smile
        With tears of sadness
              Streaming down my face
   And the depths of my emotions
       I may just take to my grave
           Cause my conscience
   Is a terrible truth to take
         But that's what life is
Going through heartache
       After heartache
             With more heartache
   Until destiny reveals its self
       And no amount of wealth
Can add up to the value
          Or weight in gold
   Of the happiness you'll find
              That's so true
      He may not be mine
But he'll forever be in my life
          And that'll be just fine
   Cause you can't rewind
Or turn around the path you take
          But you can accept
     Move forward
On the beaten path of fate
        Finding peace on earth
     As you walk towards
That **heavenly gate

I always start with a bang
Watching the fireworks display

And the one person I speak to
At exactly midnight
Is the one I least wanna lose

Some mind altering substance
Is usually tradition
Along with watching the ball drop

When it finally stops
I get my chance to restart

This year starts
With a broken heart
A broken home

And a soul left
All alone

And instead of kissing
To start the year off right

I'm left wishing
And a simple "goodnight"

You're great
         In
SOOO
many ways
      But sometimes
I just wanna

Smack
The
****
Outta
You


But that's just love.

"Cradle my emotions in the gentlest of whispers"* ~~ *Ryn



Hold me
Tenderly
Make me feel something
Be gentle with me
I've been hurt lately
Despair courses through me
Depression
Regret, guilt
Can you help me?
Don't just tell me
What I want to hear
Tell me what you really feel
Take away the fears
Don't scream
Tell me softly
Whisper in my ear
The beautiful things
I need to hear
Make me feel something
Cause lately
All I've felt is...





Absolutely nothing

"Am I a fool, believing that I am something other than darkness, that my life isn't for nothing or is that nothing more than false hope as well?"* ~~ *Sir Poet

So foolish
That is me
Believing in impossible dreams
There's no light, only shadows
No one really knows
How much of a struggle
The sun and stars go through
To keep that luminescent glow
Didn't think about that, did you?
What is all the brightness worth
If the night is always sure to bring the dark?
What is all our lives truly worth
If the end is always surely a broken heart?
Just false hope,
A dream of something happy
Possibly a smile
That will only last a short while
You wanna believe in something?
Believe there's nothing...




Absolutely nothing

I fell asleep
      with you
    on my mind
I woke up
And you
      were still there



**When's this gonna end?

I
    Keep
Clawing
       Away
   But
        You're
   Still
In
     My
  Head

"You can't really love someone you've never met."


          He's the first thing on my mind
   when I open my eyes,
             the last thing I think about
    before I go to sleep,
           he's in my thoughts all
    the moments in between,
his face takes away the nightmares
             and fills all my dreams.
       *How is this not love?

I realized...
I accept no love
Because I deserve **none.

Dredging up memories
The past comes back to haunt me

Feeling so badly insecure
I'm starting to lose my composure

Why me?
Why be so friendly?
I'm fearing my destiny...

This endless, painful cycle
Finding myself caught by every obstacle.

The truth hurts,
Lies are worse...
I must be cursed.

I'm unworthy of love
**Cause me, you didn't think of...

I'
M
Cut
Deep
And it's
Killing me
You didn't use
A knife just your
Words, but they hu
rt so much more th
an if you sliced my
Wrists up because
You've sliced my he
art into little shreds
And I'm not sure how
I'm going to put it ba
ck together this time,
but I know it will take
Awhile and through it
all I'll have to wear a pr
etty smile, like everyth
ing's ok, but we both kn
ow it's not, I'm.not at all,
but that's the price I pay
**Maybe next
Time you co
uld literally
slice my heart
from my chest
and slowly wa
tch  eme bleed
out and die, cau
se that would not
Hurt as much as
This feeling I
Have right now
But the idea of
Being without
You in any way
Hurts so much
Maybe I'll just
Use this knife
To cut away at
My own pain

I'm
             heartbroken
      by
                    someone
          who
                           never
                 really
                                 wanted
                         me
                                        anyways...

Ugly
Unwanted
Heartbroken
Emotionally Abused
Betrayed
Unloved
Disgusting
Unworthy
Lonely
Depressed
Fat
­Helpless
Pained
Stupid
Crazy
Insane
Jealous
Withdrawn
Old
Confuse­d
So **** Hurt
Hopeless
Utterly Miserable

I feel the already torn pieces of my heart
Shredding inside my chest, falling apart
Floating slowly down to the floor
It's deja vu, I've seen this happen before
Each time there's less and less pieces
To struggle putting back together
But I got some super glue somewhere
The puzzle of love, literally in my hands
Almost nothing left for when I get my "forever"
And I'll truly never understand
How this keeps happening to me
Time after time
Don't worry though
I'm sure the glue will work *just fine

Rock-a-bye
Rock-a-bye
Baby can't you see?
Momma wants to cry
When you're away from me
I miss your little smile
Your little kisses and laughs
Momma's been sad for awhile
Ever since you left my arms last

Rock-a-bye
Rock-a-bye
Baby can't you hear?
Momma just wants to hold you
Forever keep you near
All the winter nights through
I miss your all your tiny little toes
How you're so ticklish everywhere
Momma cries when you leave, everyone knows
Just how much I really care

Rock-a-bye
Rock-a-bye
Baby don't you know,
Momma is lost without you*
Oh! How I miss you so!
Momma just doesn't know what to do
I miss you so much
I know it's hard, please stay tough
My precious little Angel
Momma can't hold you soon enough
But when I do, I'll be eternally grateful


I Love You Baby Boy

They're feverish with desire
Eclipsed in love
Raging like a black smoke fire
****** scents rising above
The pheromones they release
Must be smelled miles away
They've missed this, the tease
And liquid glances, it's been days
Since, either have touched the other
But they still feel that ****** tension
On every inch of their skin
When they're finally away from prying eyes
Their lips mesh, his hands move to her thighs
And hers slide up through his hair
Gripping on tight
They could be spotted, but neither cares
He pushes her hard against the wall
Bringing her legs around his hips
She thanks heaven she wore a skirt
And quiets a moan by devouring his lips
He quickly, fervently unzips his jeans
Releasing himself and promptly
Entering her sweet, wet heat
He groans as he swallows her scream
Then pounds in hard, fast, ferociously
She rocks her hips with a delicious little motion
Squeezing her core tight, biting his lips
Coming almost instantly when he growls with delight
He thrusts harder, incessantly feeling her getting tight
Moving her ankles to rest on his shoulders
He delves his shaft as deep inside as he can reach
She scratches scars along his back
And they kiss so deep like it's the final feast
She throbs in her core as another wave hits at full force
Starts going weak as she comes once more
Feeling her liquid pour, brings him to the edge
He grips her ankles stretching the limits of her flexibility
Then roars into her sweet mouth as he comes, vigorously
He lets her legs go, but holds her upright
They both sigh knowing it's the beginning of the night,
And that was just a quickie

Heart pounding,
   Through the night
She knows the darkness well
     Been blinded by the light
And dragged through hell

Soul crushing,
   Through the days
She knows the pain never ends
     Been sliced open, fogged and dazed
And the voices in her head,
Have become her only friends

Head throbbing
   Through the dreams
She knows the sound of silence not
     Been left wounded, no one to hear her screams
And tortured by the presence of one single thought

Death knocking
   Through the silence
She knows he'll keep waiting, just like before
     Been failing at keeping up her defence
And this time, she simply opens the **door

They say the eyes are the
     window to the soul,
        I say looking through
can make you lose control.
     Climb through to depths
            you can't imagine
        and you'll discover
   the sunshine within,
        and a love so **genuine.

I NEED YOU. HAVE I NOT MADE THAT CLEAR? I WANT TO HEAR SWEET LITTLE NOTHINGS WHISPERED IN MY EAR. I WISH I WASN'T WRITHING FOR A DRINK OR A DRUG TO CLEAR MY MIND OF ALL THE ***** THOUGHTS YOU LEFT BEHIND. TOO MUCH TO HANDLE? UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY!!! I NEED YOU, BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE I WANT YOU TO NEED ME.*

*please

I'm just an American girl
With a North Carolina soul
A Greek spirit
Two Egyptian eyes
A Tennessee heart
Spanish lips
A Southern body
An Italian attitude
A Washington mind
Three beautiful children
A Texas love
A little New York social skills
And a California childhood

He didn't, and that was that.

There's no going back and erasing the past.

Life's too short not to forgive and forget.

Sometimes, there's just no time to justify where everything went wrong.

Time is a battle, a war you won't win, but you gotta push along.

Keep moving forward, you can't change the past or make it come back.

He didn't, she didn't, they didn't. It's time to accept and be okay with that.

Communication:
    Yes, to me
I believe this is the *key
     Talking, really listening
             Honesty
  Always saying what you truly mean
       No secrets, no withholding
No lies
    But sometimes
        You can say "I love you"
With only your eyes

Trust:
      This, so important
  Yet, so hard for some
          I know it's terribly difficult for me
    Without trust, you're done
        Then there's suspicions    
  .         Fear
         And so many questions
      But sometimes, trust can be earned
          With a bold statement
And the wiping of a tear

Love:
    You may be thinking
          "Why is this third?"
  Well, the first is just words
      What you have the most of
The second is in your mind
    Something in which, you have no control
        Mmm, but Love
   That's deep in your soul
And if two people can make it this far
       Past the flirting, past the insecurities
Past all the old bruises and scars
     To simply love one another
          Well, they'll be able to move      
               MOUNTAINS
           **Together

Your perfection,
       Toned
    And beautiful
Down to your soul
       Radiating from your pores
   Couldn't know you better
Or anymore
       So in love

Your secrets,
         Scary
   And unknown to me
Deep in your depths
          Discovering one at a time
      Knowing you less and less
  With every darkness
          I find

Your anger
          Morbid
      And apparently deadly
How could you do this to me?
    Throwing in a hole, my almost lifeless body
        I thought I knew you before
   But I discovered your secrets,
             Your lies
      The last ounce of love I had leaves
          As the final pile of dirt covers my eyes
      **Burying me alive

Sitting in your car
    Parked outside my house
You had to leave soon
        But, it was so peaceful out
You kissed me so sweetly
           deeply
Then you asked me
     I saw it coming, honestly
Yet, I was still shocked
           And more than a little terrified...
     Mine?  Yours?
Belonging to one another?
        I wasn't sure how this made me feel
     So many doubts and questions,
Running through my mind
             I don't like admitting it
But you're really a rare find
               Honest, sweet and kind
   I'm not sure I feel as strongly as you do
         Cause we both know the past I've been through
     I think I'm gonna try
            For you
But you seriously gotta make an effort too
       I don't wanna do this alone
   I know you're busy
Just pick up the phone
         Make some time for me
You want me to be your girl?
         Then you gotta be my guy
But this whole thing terrifies me
      I'm not gonna lie
I'll NEVER cheat
           I'll stay faithful and true
    But seriously,
That's what you gotta do too...
        So, what's my answer to you?
     First, I have stipulations
I'm not a girl all about big DECLARATIONS
          I'm the poet, I'll do that
     But I gotta know you're with me
          That you got my back...
    I'm not afraid to admit
                 I need attention
       If you can handle that
           And my crazy A$$
   Then I'll be **all yours

Why you lie?

Why you say there's three servings,

When everyone knows, it's only one?

Rude, Haagen Dazs.

Just Rude.


Sincerely,
Lonely, Sad Girl.

My reprehensible mind
       Slipped you into my dreams last night
    You were there for me
         Cared for me
               Said you were mine

     I cannot say
           I did not enjoy this dream
While it was happening
      It's been a long time
Since I've even thought about you
       But when I realized your words seemed true
    My dream took a turn
                Something morbidly new

      I said the things I wanted to say
          Instead of just saying sorry
And... "It's okay"
         I cursed and I screamed
    I put you down the way you always did me
               I broke your fragile, pathetic heart
       Tore your soul apart

             I was so cruel,
     Yet, I still never reached your level
       With what you did to me
   You'd have made friends with the devil
         I was an angel in comparison
   Enjoying my first little taste of sin

    God, how I loved watching you crumble
                    And fall
          Made me feel larger than life
To make you feel useless and small
          All the times you pushed me down
             Watched me laying,
        Crying on the ground
    I finally had my turn
          How do you like me now?

This may make me seem
         Like a terrible person
     But... I Don't Care
            My dream made me smile
       You weren't there
               You didn't see
All the terrible, painful things he did to me
      
      When I woke up,
   I was finally able to laugh at the past
           Like I never was before
     Truly Enlightening
                 A new beginning
  I'm not in pain because of him anymore
       And *I never will be again

A downpour,
Heavy flow of rain
Droplets of thoughts
Consuming my brain
The evil curses are pretty
Making me do cruel things
It's a shame you're filled with envy
Cause jealousy is so unbecoming

It hits to the center of the bones
Making endless cracks that don’t belong
It fringes to the core
making a stain that becomes forever more
But why I ask must it be
The control you have over my washing limbs
To take me in paths that consumes the dims
Why must I consider the vast of array?
You broke my heart sending endless pains
Now I lie in a soaking storm

With lightning flashing in my eyes
and thunder filling my soul
It's raging, waiting to burst
I'm under the storms control
A tornado of emotions
Swirling inside my brain
Ripping out what's left of sanity
Leaving behind nothing but pain
I don't understand
I'm confused and so sorry
Please don't feel bad for me
I deserve nothing
Especially your pity


Just allow me to rage within my storm
Leave me, don't stand by my side
You were never there for my deepest cries
I wish to be swept by this storm I so see
To wake and if it be, than it be
But I doom to my death
Plagued like a disease
Scorn to a life less end
And that my friend is
           **my very sin

My tongue is
       dripping
             with honey
     and gold,
        my voice is
   even sweeter
        and richer.






*Just imagine my lips.

There's an ice storm in my brain,
        my thoughts
                     are sliding
                out of control,
         there's a fire in my chest,
                        making ashes
          of what's left of
                     my soul.

Bipolar Hypocrite,
First, let me just say,
Everytime I see your *name
It brightens my day
I've read a *LOT of your poetry
I can't say I've read them all
But I Will get to them eventually
My amount of *free time is small
I'm sorry I don't have the time
To write a long drawn out essay
About how your poetry really speaks to me
But to you, I will simply say:

I'm sorry for the sadness you've felt
I truly know how hard life can be
But I'm so glad you found an outlet in writing
And that you continue to share your poetry
I thank you for that, all your comments on mine as well
Please, remember that you've touched at least one girl
I'll be here if you'd ever like to chat or vent
I can also promise, you WILL
find your happiness in this world

I'm so glad you've found a place here on Hello Poetry
Never Forget you're amazing
And that you have made an impression on me.

PS. I know how you love my italics and bold, I figured to use them, hope it's not getting old. :)


Lots Of Love,
*Melz

Think positive

                   Have you learned nothing about      
                   me?

Have you learned nothing of me?

                      -.-

Fire with fire... Questions with questions

                     Smoke with ashes, I'll smother
                       you -.-

After nine lashes, you've nothing better to do?

                      Before your funeral, you've got
                      nothing better to say?

Inhibitions compensated, though so futile. Bury yourself beneath your yesterdays.

                      Trial and error, yet so naive.
                       Through your mistakes and
                       heartaches, you still
                       overcompensate.

Smiling through tears, and tearing through smiles? What do you fear--everything prior, or just one more trial?

                       Been crying through the pain
                        for far too long. I fear...
                       Simply everything, to avoid
                      the hurt, why is that so wrong?

Not wrong, but you hold doubt where hope belongs. Don't wallow in the dirt, or hold on to this morning's dawn.

                       But where I should see hope,
                       there's only despair. I'm not
                       wallowing, simply realistic. It's
                       really not fair, to assume I'm
                       being over dramatic.

Learn to cope when people are unfair. Try hallowing what you know's simplistic. There's much in the air, besides the cruelness of fanatics.

                          But the evil is overwhelming,
                           it truly surrounds me, in my
                          mind and my heart.
                          Sometimes, I can't help but
                         fall apart...

When the Devil is swelling, his doings unruly, and it all mounts on you, know there is kindness. Just part with the bad times and take the goodness to heart.

I keep digging and digging and digging,
     trying to dig myself out of this hole
But it seems everything is collapsing around me
      burying me with my soul.
      This small shovel
  just doesn't seem to be enough,
     No one thought to tell me
         how life could be this rough
Now,
    I'm just getting deeper and deeper
        and deeper
    with my unwanted thoughts
This shall be my grave,
        but don't put any roses on top,
      I prefer **forget-me-nots

I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle
Laying down on the bathroom floor
My loneliness was a rattle in the windows
You said you don't want me anymore

And you left me
Standing on a corner crying,
Feeling like a fool for trying
I don't even remember
Why I'm wasting all these tears on you
I wish I could erase our memory
'Cause you didn't give a **** about me
Oh, finally I'm through
Wasting all these tears on you
These tears on you

You ain't worth another sleepless night
And I'll do everything I gotta do to get you off my mind
'Cause what you wanted I couldn't give
What you did, boy, I'll never forget

And you left me
Standing on a corner crying
Feeling like a fool for trying
I don't even remember
Why I'm wasting all these tears on you
I wish I could erase our memory
'Cause you didn't give a **** about me
Oh, finally I'm through
Wasting all these tears on you
These tears on you

And you left me
Standing on a corner crying
Feeling like a fool for trying
I don't even remember
Why I'm wasting all these tears on you
I wish I could erase our memory
'Cause you didn't give a **** about me
Oh, finally I'm through
Wasting all these tears on you
Oh, oh, these tears on you

I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle
Laying down on the bathroom floor

~

Pain
    Might lessen
         Over
              time

But
       The memories
            Never
                 Fade

~