I had a girlfriend once
I'd say we were alike
In more ways than one

We went crazy over each other
Gifts in public
Different gifts in private

I gave my heart
She gave hers too
I loved her but I cared for my wellness

For once in my life I considered myself
As a person who needed protection
There was an acid present that I've no place to voice

She gave her heart
I wrenched mine back
I left her and felt awful

That acid turned to venom
And it poisoned me so
It was either that or my ultimate destruction

There's cures for venom
Not so for ruins

As of Life,
As of Death
First you run,
Then you rest

“So, you want me to sort your troubles,
All your small, pointless worries?
“I could, and I suppose I should,
But right now I’ve my own quarries”

“What about the rest of the world?
Ever think about them?
How about the starving children
To which the world has condemned?”

“How about the soldiers?
The ones fighting your wars?
The wounded, and the dying,
Knocking on Deaths door?

“Shall we speak about the homeless
And the lives they could’ve had?
With not even a place to sleep
Now that, my friend, is sad.

So the rest of the world has bigger problems
That could be fixed if we dare,
So the “problems” that you have
Is of a subject I do not care."

Just another photo, with just another frame
Showing pictures of warped memories when time was just a name
Unbound by restrictions, not tied by the cord
That makes you stop and contemplate the risk or the reward

I was happier when I was young,
Oblivious and playing dumb
Forgiving and forgetting little things
That didn't really involve my mum

I never really knew my Dad
And sometimes it still makes me mad
How disconnection affects affection
And how when he left I used to be sad

I'd see my Father step on the plane
And the hollow in my chest just wouldn't fade
Even as young as then I knew he couldn't stay
He had a job to keep food on the plate

And my Mother? Yeah, I used to like her
When I was younger and didn't really know much better
What kind of Mother locks you in your room using a rope?
And shuts you in with nightmares hanging on walls, slightly sloped?

I wonder what it would be like if my parents were still together
If maybe they'd be happy or things would be any better
Never mind, I guess I'm just reflecting on life
And the pointlessness unlike the razor point of a knife

I carved my own skin into a memory of darkness
In times where I was not my best and was so sick of advancing
Through a life that lost it's point, hell, it's edge
I stop and think what it'd be like if depression and I had never met

I lose focus on the better things, they tell you to be positive
But how do you do this when you're conditioned to see the negative?
By a world that never liked you, that disconnected you from kin
And treated like the regular trash you ditch into the bin?

Things never seemed to go my way, so I gave up trying
And this explains why I'd be up late at night, crying
I'd try to sing a lullaby and fall asleep to it
But my voice was so hoarse I could never do it.

People say my life ain't bad, that's because I'm smilin'
Cracking jokes about dope and **** they don't know that I'm hidin'
Behind the face they wanna see, that some have come to hate
Especially a recent ex girlfriend and others as of late

I'd say it was coincidence, but I guess it's just a test
Is man or mother Nature truly, 100% the best?
Push on through this life, I'm doing it so you can too
Don't let people's gossip and ****** opinions get to you

They ain't worth the time, nor the cranial space
They just trash, so move past, it's your own mind to waste
So do it as you will, just be who you want
And don't be a warped picture that reminds you what you've lost

So now you're finally here
My voice is hoarse, I have no tears
I shed them all when I screamed your name
So long and so loud but you never came!

I only saw you in my dreams
Apart from that you remained unseen
You promised you'd be there for me
But you weren't when my world split its seams!

I tried to crawl away
Away from the fighting and the pain
But all I have, it seems
Is this world others have made!

So don't tell me to calm down!
Why don't you just go away?
Leave me be, as you did
And ignore me as I fade away!

I watch as he kneels on the cliff,
Curved dagger in his hand
"Why must I end this way?
I-I... I don't... understand."

His tears flow freely
Seagulls calling in the sky
Salt spray smashing the rocks below
Their own intent to die

He pulls off his shirt, his face just as crinkled as it
Throws it to the surging waves
Says his prayers, regrets his choices,
As he remember the path he paves

Gripping his dagger, knuckles white
Into his belly, blade out of sight

My eyes snap wide open, as I awake
Oh, this excruciating pain

You can take my life,
Or even give me death
You could be the knife
I'd gladly bare my chest

This mind of mine drives me landmine crazy
The hell yes, the hell no and the hell, perhaps and maybe
I manage to always be tired and upset
But better yet, happy and full of rest

Always but never cold and alone
Never but always warm and fully emptied of hope
This contrasting contradiction can predict and comment
Why i may just die on my own, surrounded by water,
Boots of cement

(But i don't really, but really do want to drown/breathe)

You're trying to tug my strings
I never liked playing puppets
I hated every type of doll
What is that, whatever just burn it

Think you can master me?
Be my master mind?
Try mastering disaster
That molds itself as easily as plaster!

*Love me or hate me,
I really don't care
I never asked for either, whatever
Just make sure you don't mess up my hair

I see these demons with my eyes,
Hear the demons in my mind
And I'm left wondering if true comfort
Could ever leave the skies

The only angels I ever knew,
Existed in my world
Fated to dance with a devils hand,
Tumble, twist, spin and twirl

There is one that's rescued me,
From my path she set me free
And it would be a crime to commit
The acceptance of defeat

The chains of her love,
Fit around me like a hug
When she hasn't seen me in a while,
I'm the crow and she's the dove

Two opposites who seem the same
Species at least with neither tamed
Unless we're in each others arms
Such memories are pictures framed

Her love is strong where I am not,
I'm beaten down, blind and lost
The only light that guides me fair
Hell or heaven, fire or frost

It hurts to know that I'm infected
Malicious mind, I keep rejected
While virus-like it spreads in me
She's safe right here, she's now protected

Heart may stumble, words may fumble
The world could crash and burn and crumble
But as long as my love lives by my failing heart
For her, I'd forever tumble

Whence you look down
Upon your work with a slight frown
All I see
Is beauty
Flourishing in all its form

Through all your creative ways
Is perfection, once lost now found
Be it voice, hand and eye
This art wears a glittering crown

Concentration sketches itself
Like you sketch what you love
Upon your face,
Is all the grace
Blessed from high above

I admit a spot of jealousy
Runs a trickle of pain right through me
Whenever I see
This art done better than me

In voice, eye and hand
As beauty takes its final form
This preferred art that is your brand
Or with perfect voice you perform

A better art than mine,
Taken with a flourishing finish

"Smart enough to know the truth,
And smart enough to avoid it.
Flawed are we humans."

I'm on a lifetime mission
And I possess the volition
To relentlessly pursue my objective
To not fall into submission

I aim to be a Man of Honour
To be successful,  et voila,
To rise and conquer any challenge
To get up and push further

I have myself a simple dream
To be the best that I can be
This is my own lifetime mission
And with this wish I will succeed

Sometimes
I beatbox just to clear my mind

Sometimes
I clear my memory to leave it all behind

Sometimes
I sing because I'm feeling good

Sometimes
I do what everyone should

I always
Help out my friends when they are in need

I always
Stay with my friends, the faithful steed

I always
Make memories that will last forever

I always
Cherish the good times we have had together

I love
My girlfriend,
My friends and family
Until the end,
Until the death of me.

It's an impulse you can't control,
An action you wanna take back
But let's face facts
You can't delay it
The pain waits patiently,
Tapping away at your consciousness
Regardless of the consequence
And I'll be honest with this
It's almost impossible to stop

Almost

The key word I hang onto with every breath
This is not just a test of strength
But of reality,
Making short work of your sanity
You try to stop it
But it won't have any

I see the kids with mocking laughter
Not knowing that my body awaits disaster
Trying not to cause drama
To kick up a fuss
To set off the bus
Drive it down main street and yell
"Hey look mum no hands".

There's a reason rumour rhymes with tumour
Malignant and fast
If not careful you'll breathe your last
One misplaced cut and your veins start spewing
On the gums with nervousness inside your mouth you start chewing
And deep inside your anger is brewing

Boiling
Broiling
Coiling around your throat
Just to choke you out

That's what my impulse is like
That's what my impulse is about
And sometimes it's hard to resist
When my subconscious persists
That little voice in my head telling me
"You ain't ****!"
"Just another mother-******* chopping board
Slicing
And dicing
The Sunday specials you had stored"

I'm better than this
Experience defines who you are
And I'd rather not be a peeling bandaid,
A walking, talking, bleeding scar
That won't heal!

That stays, never gives up for the wrong reasons!
Searches and lives a life without meaning!

I'd rather just be myself
Not the trash can everyone dumps their **** into
Even when it's full

I want to be safe
Can you say the same?

There is a key
To an abyss of thoughts
So irrelevant, so minute
It surprises me what I remember
When the gate to these thoughts
Is opened

And is the reason why I'm still awake
Two hours after going to bed

Hidden agenda- Secrets form a bond between two.
They allow each other to trust.
They let us see what is really important,
As well as let us see beyond the crust.

The softness and sweetness within.
The true and raw inner emotions.
The personality and the behaviour.
To taste their cure and their potions.

Conor Blatchford   Trust is warranted for those who deserve,
Keeping others secrets can cause me to burn
I hate when I'm trusted with something I can't keep
In fact it causes me to lose sleep

I look down at my arms
All I see is scars
A mistake I made
When Nightmares wouldn't pass

That's my self-critic
He's called Nightmare
And he says that I'm worthless
Whispering to me **** that ain't fair

And sometimes I can't help it
I listen
And I watch the blood flow
In the dull light it glistens

And I see it, picture it
Before it even happens
Then I grab up my razor or knife
And all I feel is nothing

Blood flows,
Time slows
And in my rage
I let Nightmare be my boss

I go to work
So mad, furious and bezerk
Spiralling me, turning me
Into the Nightmare that is me

A part that I hate
He's so ******* ******* this
This soul that only wanted to
Make others smile by pulling the ****

So i stand in front of a boy i never gave up on
Til now, you're taking my strength when i need to stay strong
It's like watching a creation from a test tube; experiment
Only less of a man and more of a little princess!

I took punches to the face for you, prove my f!@#$%ng loyalty!
You just stood there, proof that in return you'd do f@#k all for me!
It's like when I needed you most you was standing, walking dead
Hopeless and far from helpful in your own battles, yet again!

For months I've tried dragging a dead weight out from his own grave
That with his own hands and borrowed strength he decided once he'd made
Yet how can you pull something that refuses to move
It's not that he's stuck for f@#k sake, he just doesn't want to!

Doesn't have a job, doesn't go to school
Instead lives in a van in his backyard and refuses to move
Or do anything as a matter of fact, just cry over his last love
You've all the time and i think I've heard enough!

Of hearing how she's your everything, wake up dude you're fifteen
I get you get feelings to but you're sounding like a ***** love machine!
All i hear nowadays is how you're so f@#$ing depressed
Suicidal like it's vital to take anger out on your own chest!

You could have been the best, beaten every test
You have a brain for Christ's sake, stop talking about Death
Like he's your best friend, that was me but now i gotta let go
Of someone i held out for, who cries for help but only cries for soap

Make a reality show out of it, a helpless little man
I had such hope where did it go i just don't f@#$ing UNDERSTAND!!

A monster with a mask
Represents what lies in us
How we come alive the moment
The sky goes dark

Partying and popping pills
Drinking and dancing for the thrills
Happiness worn by the saddened
So high on drugs, their depression pardoned

So excuse me if I'm cynical
And yes I'm hypocritical
But why do we claim perfection
When a monster is our reflection?

A mark in time
Up the arm of one
Who forgot a time
When happiness was an everyday factor,
When he didn't need to wear a façade
When people could tolerate his humour
For it was the only way
That he could keep smiling

But it is supposed
That without times of extreme sadness
One would never know
When they were happy

And now these scars...
Every time he looks down
He is disgusted
With himself
Disgusted
With the world

Is it any wonder he wants to burn it all?
Leave an equivalent mark of time
A mark of pain, of untold hurt,
Of malicious torment
Upon the world that inflicted it
Upon him?

I suppose it's no wonder
I wish to engulf this world in flames...

Negativity hurts,
If anyone can tell you that it's me
Been through a lotta ****, especially recently
I can't get images of my ex outta my head
I tried to divide, conquer and hide
But I can't
So much pain
And I got nothing to gain from it
Except
Maybe learn your ******* lesson kid
Don't ever care for someone too much
So much you'd do anything
They lead you on and you think your strong
But you wrong
Try saying that ten times over
When she's gone
And she's gone
Left me alone
Friends with the enemy
Developing
Friendship
And injuring me

I think about it sometimes
It's why I cry at night
I stick around, head down,
Fighting the good fight
I metaphorically kiss my online friends
Goodnight
Whilst through the screen I'm saying
Goodbye

It hurts you know
Negativity gets to you
Puts you down faster than
A speeding car ever will
Or the feel of gravity
When you drop off the bridge
The noose around your neck
Tightening a little smidge bit
What doesn't **** you makes you stronger
Man that saying could never get any wronger
What doesn't **** you weakens you,
And if it does than your lucky
Don't have to stick around to be toyed with,
That little yellow rubber ducky

If you live than you'll die
They put you down when you try
And fail
So you look up at the stars at night
Why
Why is it no matter what you do
There's always someone to dis what you do
And never anyone there when they say they'll be
They leave and walk away as it happens, conveniently
They don't see me being punished
For sins I never committed

I get finished
I wake up everyday and go to school
Walk to my locker and get made a fool
They're everywhere
Just when you find peace
They make you realise it was never there
You deluded yourself to protect yourself
And you did so because no one was
No one was when you needed someone else

I tried all my life
All I ever wanted was good times
But now I have bad times
And it's half the reason I rhyme
This **** is history now,
Always be part of my lifeline
I just wanted someone
To help me make my life better
Yet it's reached the point that my
Trust is in a stranger
We know each other a little more since the start
Because I'm emotional and I cry when I pour my heart
Inside I die slowly, corrupted by words
The same words teachers said that could never possibly hurt
Some of us were built strong, others have to learn to dodge
Fly away, little birdy, fly away from the wrong

Well if I'm a bird I'm a **** penguin
I can't really fly but I swim through all your crap
And it gives me more reason to rap
Like I said, to rhyme
If speaking your heart is a crime
Put me in jail for the rest of my life

It's like you see beyond the glimmer in my eyes
It's like you're able to look right through my faulty smile
It's like you see right past the parts of a different time
It's like you gaze into the depths and see two of a kind

It's like I seem to be to you as clear as the sky
Whenever you can't see a ******* cloud on the horizon, why?
You see the good intentions and you see the wicked ways
The water on the surface and the Devils own blaze!

I'm the master of my fate, I am not the beast in me!
I will not succumb, not be numb, to your ******* greed!
I will stay afloat, in the tides of misery!
I will make my way, and you will not **** me!

The jester we are one, the good and bad combined!
We live to entertain, but it's myself that I provide!
Laughing in despair, head lowered in pride
A contradictory conflict, and you see it in my eyes...

It's like you see beyond, the glimmer in my eyes
It's like you're able to look right through my faulty smile
It's like you see right past the mask behind which we will hide
It's like you gaze into the depths and see our dead divide...

When mysteries
Are your certainty
And your mind is
Asking, "dance with me"

And you cannot refuse,
For your mind is a bomb impossible to defuse
Ready to blow, at any time
Structured off of rhythm, routine and rhyme.

Whilst thoughts may be logical
Emotions are not practical
And confusion results from
Your bone-encased bomb

I'm still trying to decipher
My emotions, but why even bother?
As long as I am true to heart
The Mystery of the Mind will never tear me apart.

A small cave of darkness,
Step out into luscious forest,
Green and brown, mixing with moonlight
Birds chirping, waterfall crashing
Running water over rocks

Leaves rustling, wind gentle
On my forehead, pushing my hair
Back off my face,
Tasting faintly of honey,
Smooth and indulgent.

Walk over to the riverside,
Sit cross-legged on the bank
Run my fingertips through the water
So soft, rippling and welcoming
So clear
And oh so beautiful,
So breathtakingly pure,
So real and righteous.

A pity that I cannot show
My dreams, as if through telepathy
So that those I love can share
My place of freedom,
And be at peace as I was
Last night.

Another brand new day, a chance to start again
But if i did so then I'd have to discard all this pain
And as much as it pains me to hold it like so,
Without this experience I'd have nada to show

No stories to tell, no stories to share
No stories from drunken lips spilled without a care
You want to know the truth of it, the world is often cold
And those among us oftentimes succumb to icy holds

I've done so too, dragging my feet
Every day was an encore, every hour on repeat
So the days came, and so too they left
Nothing but a hollow sorrow leaking through my chest

Porcelain became my actions, stone become my face
A facade for my every move, a wolf with naught to chase
The darkness in the skies became the darkness in my eyes
As the darkness in the night became the darkness held inside

Shadows grew longer, so too did my inaction
An enzyme gone cold, with minimal reaction
This lethargy that enveloped every thought that crossed my mind
I crossed off all the pain and laughed, urged the struggles to hide

So struggle i did, so exhausted i grew
A plant of my previous self, all i did was grow roots
Stuck into the Earth with no intention to leave
I found myself worthless, this became my belief

And when i crossed out all my mistakes
These actions shown through carelessness made
An S.O.S called for, a flare launched in the sky
Shining ever brighter than the stars that lit the night

Uprooted and carried, burden i felt
Looking at my limbs satisfied with damage dealt
But hungrily lust for more, so more and more i drew
My laughter marked upon my arms in delirium renewed

Every step and every breath has pushed me off the edge
Until i fell and climbed back up, learned to walk again
My funambulism established, my lifetime the ropes
That once upon a time wound its way around to choke

With every moment left behind, my resolve grows evermore
Mentally i mark myself rather than count a bladed score
And when I've had enough, I'll not give up no more
I have a divine partner whom i love to my very core

And so I'll drag myself upright, so that i die with dignity
And make every day feel like a brand new beginning
Forgive my troubled actions, wish away my pain
Wash away these scars, and let us start again

I can see both sides, perceiving reality
Anything less than the best and they call it insanity
Sanity draining faster than the eye can blink
0.33 seconds, doesn’t take that long to think
About this divided world we live in, divided by hate,
A hatred intertwined with a crazy conception called Fate
Racial discrimination dominating this life that we’re hating
With death we dance and life’s a chance that we’ve been dating
And when life dumps you, you waltz with Death himself
You leave others behind and it’s just you and yourself
You’ve always been alone even when you’re with your friends
And every day you go home, waiting for the end
You open the box, and load the Glock
**** the plastic pistol to your head and you rock
Back and forth, nervous anticipation
Life before your eyes and death in your mind
So the next time you figure out an epiphany like this
Turn it into a rhyme that one day you’ll reminisce
And tell it to everyone, tell the whole world
About life and death, chance and fate and the way the twist and twirl.

So what's it like to be you?
As I stand here in the rain
The only question in my head
That slices through the pain

The image in my head is of
A girl I know at school
Talked to her about my life today
She seemed pretty cool

Listened to her talk about her own life
And we were pretty similar
Her father is in the defence force too
And that was the common topic, in particular

How often our fathers were gone,
Might I intervene and say my dad retired
Twenty years or so in the Army
Of which he grew sick and tired

But she also mentioned sickness
And how some family had cancer
I felt sorry for her, she's much worse off
I didn't try to understand her

Instead I gave my sympathies
And my apologies

So what's it like to be you?
I think to myself in the rain
I know your story but don't understand
How you dealt with all the pain

You think you're so good?
Exploiting someone like that?
Having yourself a little fun
Don't give a **** if it's bad?

Well *******, you are ****!
When you hear me come
You better run!
I can **** you easily without a gun!

Send you to the morgue, start saying goodbye
The last words you'll say before you die!
I hope I'm the one to slit your throat
And how's this for a little side-note:

I don't even ******* KNOW you!!!

I'd say goodnight
Except you wouldn't hear
The misery dripping from dry lips
So frozen with fear

I'd say goodbye
Except I'd see you again
But it'll hurt watching a stranger
When they were your friend

I'd say good luck
But I know that you won't need it
You already have everything
So I guess you won't receive it

I'd say come back
Only it'd hurt twice as bad
Because I'm used to sadness
But I hate getting mad

And I'd swing from the rope
For my sins I would choke
But you'd probably cut me down again
So that path is a no

I guess I can't quit
I guess I'm not done
Maybe somewhere out in the world
I can have some fun

I wanna feel that again..,

Mirror mirror, on the wall
Tell me how the fallen, fall?

Well now, come now, let me show
All the pain I've ever known...

Mark my words, I marked my skin
Thin red lines of crimson sin

Seeping through their open wounds
The more I made, like blossom, blooms...

So I was hollow, devoid of all
I am how the fallen, fall

Mirror, mirror, just a mask
All they'll see is shattered glass...

Hollow, empty
Devoid of emotion
Unsure as to who I am
No cure, no potion

Mimic the cries
Of our endless lies
Hoping to fit in,
To belong, feel security within

But it scares me,
As I'm sure you can see

I want to be myself
All I need is help
To bring out who I really am
And hope that, socially, this isn't my end

I feel so lost,
So totally unlike what
Everyone expects of me
And what I expect of myself, the whole lot

I look inside myself
And all I see is utter blackness
Not because I am a demon,
But my actions have caused darkness

I didn't believe in myself
I wanted to be someone else
Everything I ever did
Was based off of not being the "weird kid"

The one with the buck-teeth,
That "Aspy", abnormal boy
I wanted to be part of a group
Not a bullies favourite toy

But I also wanted to do what I like,
Talk of dinosaurs, aerodynamics and castles
Not to be just another
Fashion, gaming and acting apostle

Guess that didn't work out so well, now did it?
Because I don't know which parts of me
Are the real me, not the "fitting" in me
That is something I cannot see clearly

I just want to be myself
Not a creation moulded by society
But I don't exactly have a choice now, do I?
I must face the humility.

You took from me
You made me mad
I realised the truth
It made me sad

Something I loved
Cost so much
Retribution to me
Is not enough

Revenge and strength
A broken gift
Tables will turn
The tide will shift

Karma strikes
I hope it hits you hard
Because you gave me pain,
Both sad and mad

A sickness is inside of me, a plague of crows
That caw on humid winds and I know they don't
Want what's best, so they take it all away
Leaving me a husk, this thing I am today

It burns in my chest, it scorches my thoughts
Eats my sanity up, and you bet I fought
Maybe I'm not buried but I'm happily dead
Just seeing another dawn, fills me with dread

One slight move, and I've grown cold
The warmth you feel is it's feverish hold
Things may be going well, but I'm not one
I stare into the mirror and hate what I've become

I look alright, but that's a disguise
I know the monster hidden inside
Give me the means and I will show you the end
You like what you see, but it's all pretend...

What was supposed to be happy holiday
Hath shifted from bright to gray

When feelings change with sudden shift,
I realise I've been set adrift

All alone, on the river,
The mind's own darkness makes my spine shiver

Control myself? As if I could,
And I would if I could, it's what I should

But doubt has crept too far in,
And now I feel Nightmare's grin

No help on the end of my phone
My soul is stolen and I die alone

At least, internally
I just wish someone would hear me

Even though I do not speak,
Surely anyone could see I'm weak?

Open your eyes, and save my soul
Before my Nightmare swallows it whole

How should I begin this, declaring my regret?
Cursing all the times that I had wished we never met?
Or maybe I should just proclaim my anguish and my sorrow
That I had not forseen, that we would not quite make tomorrow

And I'm sorry for the fact that I decided I could show
The parts of me I stowed away, the seeds I've allowed to grow
The parts of me unknown to most because it claims to hold
The part of my subconscious which would like to be known

I hate it how I used you, when I didn't ******* mean to
And I hate the way I got excited to even slightly sense you
I hate the path we walk, and I hate the way we talk,
And most of all I hate myself for letting that go

I loathe the way I claim to be so happily open minded
But can't accept when I've truly ****** it
Can't accept when I've finally lost it

Hate the memories that you conjure over my face
Like the way that I act, is the bitterness that you taste

And the part that gets me most, is how I thought you could trust
But how can one bestow a faith to a monster, so ******
Im divided by the sight of my own face in the ******* mirror
I open my mouth and silently scream like I'm scared to ******* hear it

Scared of myself, so why the **** do I care?
That when I say I'm demonic, that you'd be ******* scared?
One plus one is two for you and two for me as well
So I guess I'm asking for a second chance, to be the better Hell

Everybody has potential, so don't connect the dots
I am not the one you knew before in all his tempest, lost
I am not someone you know, despite the weight I tow
The recognition of my pain, and I know you think you know

But you don't, because here I am not so long after
Proclaiming all was over like a town shred by disaster
Destruction may be caused, and distrust where I never was,
But even nature overgrows the bombs we throw, we fly, we let go

Even friendship overthrows the venom I caused...

I'm sorry... just let me try my hand
You don't need to trust me, coz I already understand
You got skeletons in a closet, and I'm a high pressure faucet,
And I'll be waiting right here because I know I can't force it...

A disguise for the blind
Generations left behind
With barely a whisper
They exit the limelight

The happiness dissolved
Too many problems left unsolved
And many more arise
As the chamber is revolved

No-one really wanted this
Prescriptions for problems to be fixed
Teenagers with scars and abuse
And no reason to live

Dark hair and dark eyes
Stormy clouds and rainy skies
Rather than condemn them for how they are
How about you help them to survive?

Show them a reason to live
Teach them not to forget but to try and forgive
For a memory forgotten is a memory unimportant
But remind them every day not to try and relive

Those horrible times, those relentless monsters
Who try to force you to believe that you're an imposter
Not who you really are, not who you want to be
But would much rather you be the destruction they see

If only I had strength of heart and mind,
So easily could I leave my chains behind...

Bruises for my troubles
And troubles give me bruises
Classification is big at High School
And they've stuck me with the losers

Sniggering and sly talk
Like I learnt to read lips a while ago
So don't clap at the top of that mountain
And try to blind me with all that snow

They believe I'm a chained bull
They can **** me into anger
But this ****
                     Is
                        Going
                                   Down
And you think you know me, but I'm a stranger

Weren't you told as a kid
To not talk with whom you know not?
I'm allowed to fight back now
So
    Run
            Before
                       I
                         Watch
                                   Your
                                           Corpse
                                                       Rot

Honestly
My father said if words don't work
Just knock 'em one
But stop short of going bezerk

He doesn't wanna pay what they'll need if I stick them
In
   A
      Wheelchair...

I turn and look inside myself
And I enter a world of angels and demons
The light, and the dark,
And so I watch these ethereal visions

Variant: Angel    

The wind whips at my hair
As I stand in a deserted parking lot
With birdsong playing all around
Angels as doves, reminding me all is not lost

They circle high, and swoop down
I look up and my face is bathed in light
And am given the strength to push on
To succeed at life, to keep pressing the fight

I silently thank these angels from above
For allowing me
To find serenity
From the visions of a dove.

Variant: Demon

Surrounded by darkness,
Crows peck at my flesh
They steal the air from my lungs
And laugh as I suffocate without breath

They caw at me, laughing,
As I fail to live my life
Showing me my own torture weapons:
Scissors, razor, knife.

My scars rip open
And my blood comes gushing out
Yet it's not this that kills me
It's my mind being smothered by doubt

Epilogue:

I open my eyes
And think: torture or serenity?
Do I wish to feed my demons
Or release the angels stored within me?

Ask yourself this question,
Every time you make a decision
Will this choice drop me dead
Or keep my heart, pulsing, beating?

People are literally dying every single day
But only the celebrities manage to make the front page
A higher level of honour because they gotta lotta dollar
What about the people hard pressed showing signs of survival?

You dont hear the stories of people rotting away
Inside a straight jacket of "normal" human flaws, they say
You dont feel the pain of banging heads going down corridors
You dont see the stress of death clutching your heart to his chest like pause...

Consider whats wrong
How suicide rates escalate since before I was born there's something
In the air, a blank stare or soulful eyes
Begging with each blink that you might hear their silent cries they deny!

Their own existence is not as important as yours
So stop and think a second time before they hit the floor
With gunshots at 50, and with depression about 90,
The percent of people dead per annum, they dont need this **** i highly

Doubt you gave a ****, doubt you wished them luck
Doubt you'd be the mechanic to fix this faulty truck
Just a little more, all the times you saw
Those eyes pierce the night from under those black nightly hoods

Therein is chaos in mechanics, robotics, electronics,
And that's what y'all have become, bystander demonics
Every day is the same to you, every try is lies to truth
Nobody seems to realise there's help needed for our ******* youth!

Turn to drugs to have some fun, cant feel the pain when you're feeling numb
Chemicals to help uphold the happiness you had when you were young
Alcohol to help absolve
The sins of past remain unsolved
But thats okay when every day you forget the reason you were born!

Blades to skin to drown the pain
The blood we washed won't truly stain
Every mark will always change
Every scar will stay the same

Every day is all in vain
All the anger we locked away
In the hopes that it would fly away and fade as fast as the light of day!

Blog our thoughts to keep us sane!
This stabs our mind, steel to brain!
A monster crying out for aid
BUT ALL YOU DID WAS NEVER CHANGE!

So you walk along the sidewalk
You dont see, them swinging
They felt they never had a choice
You never cared, when they lost their voice...