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Feb 2021 · 194
Perdida.
Nessa dieR Feb 2021
Volvi solo para decirte que
Inventé aquellas cosas que alguna vez nos prometimos.
Creo que tienes razon,
Tengo la culpa de enamorarme,
O a caso solo de querer, sin
Razon alguna de las personas equivocadas. Las
Imagenes permanecerán hasta que me canse de escribir, pero
A solas, por la noche, las palabras son mi unico consuelo.
Jul 2020 · 273
What colors do you see?
Nessa dieR Jul 2020
After painful years, the images in my head
finally start to show color
From an abysmal black
To the blinding white of your devious smile

They're tainted now in a hue of brown
to deep red
and finally, the sunshine orange you wanted to see.
Apr 2019 · 728
Barefoot and disheveled
Nessa dieR Apr 2019
I would run to your arms
Like no one ever will.
Now all that's left is my tiptoes
as to not wake up the only dream that still remains.
My heartbeat is finally louder  
than my own voice
Apr 2018 · 801
We.
Nessa dieR Apr 2018
We.
You are not                                                              ­                          him,
And I'm not                                                              ­                          her,

                               ­                                                                 ­            those,

the ones that we were before being                                                   us.
You were like that but now                                                                  ­             
You sound a little of                                                               ­            me.
    I was like that but now                                                                  ­        

I come a little from                                                             ­               you.
Mar 2018 · 442
Dear Friend,
Nessa dieR Mar 2018
in just one instant everyone separates
                    from the images we loved the most,
and dear friend
you will lay
               fragile and
                in pain beside the frames.

I left you thinking about many things
and hopefully you will think a bit of me along the way.

You know,
dear friend,
in this path towards death
              called life,
I feel well accompanied
I feel almost satisfied
when I picture that far away,
                                              wherever you are,
maybe you believe my words before going to bed
or come across me in the streets of your dreams.
Nov 2016 · 783
Questions
Nessa dieR Nov 2016
How long should I be here?
I doubt
... walk endlessly
How long will you be near?
Can't cure
wounds of memory
How long until you forget?
This "love"
made me believe,
How long will we accept?**
you've deprived me of
all energy.
Nessa dieR Oct 2016
I thought I should write a happy poem
But I only write at night.
The ink of blood dripping from my heart
becomes thin and transparent in the light.

So if you want me to be honest:
The thought of you fills me with words
yet renders me speechless
to the point where writing hurts.
Aug 2016 · 1.3k
My Muse.
Nessa dieR Aug 2016
In your arms I found the open ocean;
Tides, waves, my serene sea,
The most pleasant feeling of a morning breeze.
In your eyes the best night skies;
A Rhythm bright enough to leave the sun behind
and wake up the night in just a heartbeat.
My heartbeats.
Cracked and Irregular by your every move.
In your fingers untold mysteries;
tangled within my own in secrets with the promises of never letting go.
In your hair my favorite melody;
Loud, and ruthless music for my deaf ears:
A Symphony only I can hear.
In your lips my muse;
Better than Erato and Calliope combined,
Carelessly whispering verses
To last me the entire day,
Softer than the birth of Roses.
My Roses.
For they are just for me,
Sprouting from your lips, and blossoming with my touch.
Our touch.
*In you I found poetry.

With verses resting at your lips,
My muse
Aug 2016 · 1.3k
It hurts to be compared
Nessa dieR Aug 2016
For I'm just a sigh and deep breath
From other's pain,
The beginning of a new day,
And the hope that makes
a scream from  agonizing pain
stand out.

It hurts to be compared
For she has you by her side,
And while I was never able to forget you,
**I got used to missing you
Nessa dieR Aug 2016
I tried to shout with no mouth, no tongue, no throat.
but your ears were deafened by the sound of death,
silence.
I am nothing but beloved dust
You only listened to my steps as I left,
a hushed sound like the trees,
or the calling out of bells out no nowhere, from somewhere,
my distant grave.
*I am nothing but beloved dust.
Jul 2016 · 666
I'm scared
Nessa dieR Jul 2016
I'm scared of still hearing your voice
after I went deaf.

Still seeing your smile
With my eyes closed.

I'm scared of falling asleep,
for I can only see you in my nightmares.

I'm scared of having your taste in my mouth,
When was the last time you kissed me?

But over all, I think I'm scared you have become my muse...
because I've dedicated you all these verses
*When you can't even give me a single word.
Jul 2016 · 821
Absence
Nessa dieR Jul 2016
I hope, my dear,
Every time you stare at your hands
You feel mine are **missing.
May 2016 · 961
Polaroids
Nessa dieR May 2016
Photos haunt me like the souls of fresh corpses
memories
Victims of time.
The ink poured and pooled on my floor
Smiles vanishing past all the gore.
Polaroids, Polaroids
Help Me Forget!
Loving him was my biggest regret.
Feb 2016 · 526
Vacant Home
Nessa dieR Feb 2016
Walls without window
Floor without feet
Room without Roof
Shouldn't I feel free?
But instead my throat is sore
And my eyes stream with pain

**I don't think life was meant for me
And these years have been in vain.
Use your arms to lift me away
From the walls that we have made...
Feb 2016 · 724
Moonlight Eyes
Nessa dieR Feb 2016
I want to be the well trusted word
throughout the moon’s midnight eyes
with wishes that were once something other than                                                             pai­n

I want to*  believe
  I want to    see
     I want to  know

             I want to be the verb,    "I CAN”
                I want to walk with a purpose
                   and confess to you
                     that one average afternoon
                         **I fell in love with you…
Jan 2016 · 778
Empty
Nessa dieR Jan 2016
I wanted to write
About you,
Us,
Me.
I wanted to write about how I felt,
But the paper stayed empty
And there was no better way to describe
Me
Dec 2015 · 954
Paper Dove
Nessa dieR Dec 2015
Slowly, Patiently*  losing my mind
Screeching and LOUDLY  I'm going blind.
Believing,   I was so naive before
I won't trust anymore.
I waited on a dove of hope
to come and help me out this drag
To such extents did I dared scope...
But it was just a  **Paper Bag
Oct 2015 · 474
A Pair of Fools
Nessa dieR Oct 2015
It all happened so spontaneous,
so naturally,
That neither of us found it odd that,
Suddenly, my hand was being held
by yours
And we were staring at each other like
A pair of fools."  
❤️❤️❤️
Oct 2015 · 713
Waiting
Nessa dieR Oct 2015
Starting to feel the cold in my hands.
The sound of my breaking voice.
Agonizing light.
A Still world
and again in darkness.
The time is near,
And a slow whisper tells my soul:
"He is not worth all of this."
**Maybe I shouldn't wait anymore...
Oct 2015 · 908
Fire & Ice
Nessa dieR Oct 2015
I am like ice, while he is my fire
Now do you understand my hot desire?
But it becomes harder to hide my cold feet
and pretend not to love his exceeding heat.
Is it my fault I don't want a heart frozen cold?
Is it my fault don't believe what I've been told?
That fire, which all things melts, should harden ice,
And ice, to a fire, is never suffice.

but isn't my love enough to change their minds?
Isn't this love like none you'll ever find?
Oct 2015 · 991
Their Voices
Nessa dieR Oct 2015
I hear them all,
I hear them say:
This Love you feel,
Is not meant to stay.

This love is so strange
It'll drive you mad
Smiling through tears
At the thought of what you had.


I hear them whisper, "we are nothing but blind"
Their voices get tangled in my mind.
They question me
And never let me see
When will they just let this love be?
Sep 2015 · 803
Never Waking Up
Nessa dieR Sep 2015
As I could walk along the graves
or be carried by the waves,
I don't remember where I've been
or if the waters were serene.
For as long as it may seem
Being with you is but a dream.
Sep 2015 · 776
Aching
Nessa dieR Sep 2015
I watched my sky fall before my eyes.
It hurts speaking
It aches likes nothing I've felt before
You messed me up;

**I feel an emptiness
where my heart is supposed to be
But at the same time,
I feel my heart is too huge
And about to burst
From all the pain it had taken in.
Sep 2015 · 935
Remember
Nessa dieR Sep 2015
Remember the smallest of things,
The inside jokes
The best sunsets
The warmest smiles
And the people who gave them;
For one day you will realize they left
And the person who said to be a friend
Is the one pushing you aside from the crowd,
*And you can no longer see the sunsets,
But a pale dark sky hugging your thought.
Sep 2015 · 825
I met a butterfly
Nessa dieR Sep 2015
With the brightest colors you've seen
But she hides them behind her back
For they tell where she has been...

At  night she can be found
Writing metaphors from her heart
For her head, deep in the ground,
Has a secret tearing her apart.

*Dear butterfly, spread your wings
There's a world out there for you,
What you're feeling, all these things
Aren't healthy for us two.
Sep 2015 · 1.4k
I won't give up
Nessa dieR Sep 2015
There has to be something
That can still keep us together,
And I won't stop searching
*Until I touch  forever.
Aug 2015 · 1.1k
Too much
Nessa dieR Aug 2015
Why is my love
Above so much treason,
So much hatred,
So much reasons why this pain I feel
Is filled by you and i?
Aug 2015 · 717
Reality
Nessa dieR Aug 2015
He's way better than the boy of my dreams.
*He's real.
Aug 2015 · 1.1k
How dumb
Nessa dieR Aug 2015
And I thought I'd die of love
seeing you standing by the door
without knowing you could count on me for
Anything
**Everything
Aug 2015 · 1.3k
How it hurts
Nessa dieR Aug 2015
How it hurts feeling an emptiness in my soul
Deep in my heart; a deep painful hole
knowing how much I need you; yet
knowing what lies between us:
A barrier I'll never cross;
A barrier of love.
How much we used to have
and now there's  nothing at all.
Aug 2015 · 860
Ten Years Later
Nessa dieR Aug 2015
I was waiting for the longest time,
he said, "I thought you forgot..."

"It's hard to forget,"  I said,  *"When there is such an empty space
when you're gone..."
I also lost someone who meant the world to me, you weren't the only one
Aug 2015 · 794
Away...
Nessa dieR Aug 2015
Every soccer ball is ***** and flat
the sky is always gray
at least it has been like that
since you have gone away...

I can't remember a single moon
which you have come to stay
or any bright afternoon
since you have gone away...

Any effort seems a drag
Anything they say
seems like they just wanna brag
that you have gone away....

I need a little clue
That you'll  come back someday
I haven't heard from you
since you have gone away...
Nessa dieR Jul 2015
Thinking by myself**

For how long was I Afraid
Of my own Destiny.
Fearing I would fade
Loosing my identity

I was living on isolation
Afraid of what I'll lose
Afraid of sweet temptation...
What a lame excuse.
Jul 2015 · 2.5k
Royal HeartBreak
Nessa dieR Jul 2015
Oh knight in shining armor,
Tender heart beneath the shield.
I know you didn't mean to harm her;
But it will take a while to heal.
Nessa dieR Jul 2015
I thought I was the girl with everything
If only you could stay
Thought I had it all and anything*
But those were lies I've been forced to say
And find myself searching;
Looking at all the things you've been saying to me:
No reasons. No answers.
Why couldn't I see?
                        Do I deceive myself?
Make of things what I want them to be
all through those days
when you were all that meant to me?
Jul 2015 · 1.1k
Have You Ever?
Nessa dieR Jul 2015
Have you ever loved someone so much
But knew the fee was high
That every time you shed a tear
He made you want to die.

Have you ever looked into his eyes
And said a little prayer?
Have you ever confided on all the lies
And wished to feel better.

Have you ever felt his heartbeat,
When he told you to do so?
And whisper, "Why, if you don't love me
Do you never let me go."

Have you ever tried so hard not to cry
Just so he won't hear.
Have you ever at least tried
To hide such huge amount of fear.
Jul 2015 · 1.3k
Hazel Eyes
Nessa dieR Jul 2015
I learned that my dreams
Are transparent
That it's clearer than the blue sky and the sea
Your eyes told me so...

And although I can't say the words
"I love you"
**You will always remain in my heart...
Jul 2015 · 1.1k
I can't move on
Nessa dieR Jul 2015
I simply can't
Time doesn't heal all wound.
"The wounds remain,
over time the mind,
protecting its sanity
covers them with scar tissue
and the pain lessens
but it never leaves"*
"...unrequited love does not die
it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides,
curled and wounded.
For some unfortunates,
it turns  bitter  and  mean,
and those who come after
pay the price for the hurt done
by the one who came before.”
2 quotes in one:
Rose Kennedy & Elle Newmark
Jul 2015 · 1.2k
Can someone answer me?
Nessa dieR Jul 2015
“Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether to **** yourself or not.
Tom Robbins wrote that the only serious question is whether time has a beginning and an end.
Camus clearly got up on the wrong side of bed, and Robbins must have forgotten to set the alarm.
There is only one serious question. And that is: Who knows how to make love stay?
Answer me that and I will tell you whether or not to **** yourself.”
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker
Jul 2015 · 1.3k
Shattered
Nessa dieR Jul 2015
You made my heart of a shattered vase
Fragile pieces scattered all over the place.
Just waiting for karma to take it's toll
But the uneven pieces  pierce my soul.
I tried helplessly to mend my broken heart
But I have no idea where to start?
Can someone tell me what to do?
and bring to me the toughest glue...
Jul 2015 · 840
Pyrophobia
Nessa dieR Jul 2015
Before I go, I have to know;
                Your arms
       Did they ache to hold me?
(Just like mine did.)
       Why
           Couldn't you care more about
                         Me?
                    (As much as I did.)*
A friend of mine had said we were like passing clouds
We met and together unleashed          
     lightning
              Strikes
                  Smolders until the forest
                        Burns.

But unlike you ,
          I can't resist fire...
                                I'm afraid of it
Jun 2015 · 1.0k
(10w) what if
Nessa dieR Jun 2015
What if I died today?
*Would he remember me tomorrow?
Jun 2015 · 1.2k
(10w) Betrayal
Nessa dieR Jun 2015
Unlike the  love  in your eyes...
Mirrors cannot tell  *lies.
Jun 2015 · 1.4k
"Not his type"
Nessa dieR Jun 2015
Everyone says My arms don't know how to hold you.
Jun 2015 · 1.1k
Friends
Nessa dieR Jun 2015
Is there something wrong with me?
I meet a lot of people,
and it seems to be going okay

But then for some reason,
I always end up feeling like an outsider.
Jun 2015 · 599
(10w) Last words
Nessa dieR Jun 2015
I'd give everything to know
those were the   *last words
Jun 2015 · 676
Gone
Nessa dieR Jun 2015
If I could see my baby
At least once, tonight,
As the weather:*  rainy,
Gives a chill, just right.
Oh, what I would give to just be told
He would never appear before my eyes;

**I hope he won't grow old...
I will miss singing his lullabies.
Jun 2015 · 1.3k
Who cut my angel's wings?
Nessa dieR Jun 2015
Who brought you to your knees to humiliate you?
Who shot down your dreams and illusions?
Who made you stop believing in love?
Who caged you with your deepest fears and restless nights?
Who made sure you would never be alright?
Who made you cry at sleep?
Who made you loose your mind?
Who didn't believe in mercy
or faith,
or all that crap...
but above all
Who in their sane mind
Made you hate yourself
*As much as they made me.
Italic and bold are two poems, same scenario, differrent personalty (different people)
Nessa dieR Jun 2015
Even though he arrives when I'm moving on
And leaves when I get closer.

Even though we love in pauses
And hate in between them.

Even though he laughs with me
And more often at me.

Even though he protects me from everyone else
And only he can hurt me.

Even though he can stop the tears from flowing
And he has been the one to place them there.

Even after all that,*
I'll still end up choosing him.*
Always
May 2015 · 1.3k
Killing me in my sleep
Nessa dieR May 2015
I can't sleep.
Every time I close my eyes to rest:
I see him,
And every single time:
He reaches out his hand towards me,
Asking me to dance.
but I don't
I never do
I'm not able to,
For I don't know how to dance.
And it kills me
Because
That is probably the last time I'll ever see him,
And I can't even have that one *last dance

With Him...
Redoing this poem from Jan 13
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