I've always dreamed of adventure, but now, I'm not so sure. I grew up playing video games and playing pretend in the woods. What I would've given to be Link with my own legendary quest. But these are turbulent times. Between my anxiety and the businessman-president and his blue-bird threats and the media, honestly, I'd rather curl up in a ball and stay inside my house forever. But the truth is, no one ever caught a crocodile by hiding in their house. It takes real bravery. And while I've got problems staring me down like I'm deadmeat, I've got to be a crocodile hunter. I have to. It's the only way to free the princess trapped inside.
This poem aged well —ha! Guess I got my wish to stay indoors! I caused COVID-19, so feel free to cancel me, I guess! This poem was written in 2016.
I’ve been disappearing day by day anxious and fearing what you’ll say; a four letter word you think a compliment, but I never heard the sentiment.
And everybody knows what I’ve been hiding, the closing doors were sliding, I deserved a light for just awhile. No second or first chances, lost time and dead romances, crocodile tears and an alligator smile.
I’ve been fading piece by piece it seems relating to this cease, a four letter word meant with affection, but it’s absurd and an insult to our connection.
And everybody knows what I’ve been denying, the locked windows I’ve been prying, I deserved a fair and unbiased trial. No second or first chances, blame time or circumstances, crocodile tears and an alligator smile.
Like all things in history there’s defeat and there’s victory I don’t think I can label this either one. I want to stop this toxicity and erase it into nothing but I think that’s what you’ve already done.
So close your eyes and take a breath we’ll say our goodbyes only with death. And I’ve been muted through every line but the rain’s included with the sunshine.
And everybody knows what I’ve been fighting in darkness even with lighting, I deserved the be your faithful sun dial. No second or first chances, no idea of what your stance is, crocodile tears and an alligator smile.
I did not see your swarm O Holy crocodile A sweet disaster A monster of madness You crawl into the mouths of men's hearts Turn them inside out Alligator dreams inside their minds Ripping open its seam You're a nightmare of red With fangs of silver And a flash of green Your roar gives off a unworldy scent Between worlds of gore Not of long lost lore Your warmth is poison Your love unravels Your bite is cancer It kills with inspiration, So sleep further than the blade of its knife Or suffer endless obessions Throughout the rest of your pitiful life.
We had a most horrid schoolteacher, And us children did all hate her, She’d shout at us for no real reason, And threaten to see us later, She had a dip on a Florida trip, And was swallowed by an alligator, But only crocodile tears were shed, ‘Cos we were all just … gladiator!