Summer
The height of the year
Tank tops
And short-shorts the only thing worn.
Melting heat
A breeze!
Pure bliss.

Fall
The heat cools
And sweaters and jeans
Emerge from the closet.
Sweet coolness fills the air.
It’s a bit chilly today.

Winter
The coolness grows colder
You see your breath
Billowing out of your mouth.
Brrrrrr!
You put on a few more layers.

Spring
Brings flowers
And beauty
And bees
And allergies.
I guess they balance each other out.

Got a
Weak mind
Weak heart
Weak fingers,
So I let it all
Slip right by
But still, sometimes
It lingers.

I don’t wanna go home
But I can’t stay here.

I know it’s after hours
But I’ve stared in the mirror
For hours
And I can’t do it anymore.

I don’t wanna go home
But I can’t stay here.

The problems fade away
When you face away from them
For a little while.

I don’t wanna go home
But I can’t stay here.

When there is nowhere to go,
Nowhere to hide,
You will find
That your problems find you.

I struggle between the truth and peace
Balancing on this crystal beam—
So fragile, on the edge of breaking
As I try to make myself lighter
To keep it in place.

I keep it in place
And it keeps me in pieces.
I would shrivel to nothing
For this.
I would disappear—
Just say the word.

I’m sorry.
How many more times
Must I say it?

I’m sorry.
You never said that to me.

I know I’m the one in the wrong
But it hurts like white-hot tongs
And I cannot ever sing you this song
So I let go of the pain and move on.

Dear RhymeZone,
Thank you for existing
You help me find the rhyming words
That used to always be missing.

You’re pretty much my savior
Thesaurus.com, you too!
You make my works even greater
For my readers (you!)

Thanks to you I can concoct
Words that fit like a sock!
Never mind a glove,
These words are more, which I love!

I see my life through plexiglass
Trying to bulletproof the past,
Nostalgia? No, but I recall
That rising up precedes the fall.
But the films I watch inside my mind
Are missing parts I cannot find
So I fill the blanks with what I see,
I fill it up with what I need.

Now is it truth, or is it lie?
I like to think that I am right,
But I’m not the well-oiled machine
I used to think I used to be.

I used to be able to
Sit at random tables
And introduce myself
Like it was nothing.

I used to have
Confidence.
Enough to stride
Into every situation
With optimism
And tenacity.

I’ve changed in many ways
Some good, some bad.
But this is one thing
I’d like to have back.

So much all the time
I give so much all the time
I just want it back.

As I breathe out, you breathe in.
As I breathe in, you exhale
And I watch as the breeze
Sweeps past me,
Tickling my face and
Ruffling my hair like
A loving father.
You’ve watched me grow
Watched as I cried and you thundered
A cacophony of sobbing
And shared rivulets
Of trickling water.
You’ve watched as my heart
Grew colder while winter
Crept in like a chill burrows
Inside your bones.
Skeletal trees littered the streets.
But then,
But then you watched my eyes light up
In wonder of the snow drifting
Down, a gentle blanket resting
On the dead like a peaceful burial.
A solemn rest.
And when the sun held
On to the day like a lover
Reluctant to let go.
When the buds grew again
And the world woke up
From its enchanted sleep,
You watched me, you watched
As I stretched my arms
To meet the sky.
You watched me stand
Just tall enough
To graze the clouds.

I don’t believe in the 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺
Of love, of teenage love.

But you do.

When I’m around you,
When I’m 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 to you,
All the doubts disappear.

But when it’s just me
I worry, 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚
That I’ll 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 you,
I’ll 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 you,
Because you thought
That we were made of steel.

You don’t 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 that our chances are 𝘭𝘰𝘸
Of being high-school sweethearts
That make it to the other side.

You don’t 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 that when I think of our 𝘧𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦,
We part ways and come back again.
You don’t 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 that I think steel melts
And then can be reforged.

I don’t 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 if I want you to.

I feel so 𝘯𝘢𝘪𝘷𝘦 sometimes,
But I swear you’re even more 𝘯𝘢𝘪𝘷𝘦
Than me.

I want to protect you.

But I don’t believe in the 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺
Of love, of teenage love.

I don’t believe in 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺.

But I believe in 𝒖𝒔.

i sit next to you
and we are silent and
i am scared but
you are more scared than
i am and when i
look at your eyes i
see a burning man
being stabbed from the
inside out and
i do not know what to say
because some things are
just not built for poems and
this is one of them.

Is the only thing
That is easy in life.

Sleep
Cradles you like a baby
And whispers sweet dreams in your ear
Making you forget
The cruelties of the world.

Sometimes I wish
I could stay asleep
All of the time.

Who doesn’t?

I’m not here
All the way so I
𝑷𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒉 my skin
Between my nails to
Try and 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 something but it’s
Like 𝒌𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 a stone and
𝑾𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 if the rock 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒔.

the rain
hit the window
glad that
in the safety
of my home
the cold, wet drops
don’t reach me.

i wish i was a
better daughter
for you.
i wish i knew
what it would do
to you.
i wish i wasn’t
so afraid
and i wish i never
stayed
in that orphanage
where i barely left
my crib like a
cage.

i wish i grew up
before today
because now it is
much
too late.

I really wish
I was 23
Because then
I’d finally be free
Not really
I’d be pinned down
By worries
College degrees
Apartment fees
Anxiety
Oh wait
I have that already

But still
It’d be better
Or so it seems
Than being a kid.

I believe in destiny, not fate
Because our lives are steered
By the choices we make
Left or right, right or wrong
Our choices, not fate, make us strong
And yet, a certain destination
Is the best-case situation
Left or right, right or wrong
Or any path we walk along.

D̳o you
E̳ver just
A̳ccidentally
D̳issociate so
E̳verything
Y̳ou see
E̳scapes
S̳ight?

Heart beat-beat-beats quick
Like a drumbeat-beat-beat—or tick
Of the clock, sent speedily
From my chest cavity to my amygdala.

All neurons alive,
Just like a ******* fire,
I haven’t felt this
In a long, long time.

I thought all the good ones
Had deserted this place.

But here is a good one,
You.

Who would want to be a leader
In this world full of tricks
Where problems keep arising
Enough to make you sick

Who would want to be a leader
In a globe that slowly melts
Burned up from global warming
And the heat you’ll face if you fail

Who would want the power
That everyone knows corrupts
When everything you do
Will never be enough

Who would want to be the person
Everyone depends on
To make the hardest decisions
You must be stone strong

Who would want to be a leader
When you sacrifice yourself?
The most human part of you
Compassion, put on a shelf
To be forgotten.

My heart took me places
My head could never go.

Decay, degenerate
Rot in hell from all this hate
Lessen, languish, lower, regress
Back to when I was a mess
Sink, slide, undermine
I don’t think I was ever fine
Fade, fail, fall apart
I wasn’t “okay” from the start.

I strain to chase my own inspiration
But ev’ry day there’s only artifacts
From my past eras, this lonely creation
Takes every fleeting feeling like a fact.

I seek, I seek, but rarely do I find
The abstract answer I was looking for;
You’d think you can’t get lost inside your mind
But sometimes you don’t own the parts you store.

It truly is a pit without a bottom
To stare the depths that lie within your heart
Because we underestimate the *****’s
Ability to turn pain into art.

Although it may appear to be a void
A writer’s well of words can’t be destroyed.

I crave affirmation
I live off of praise
Why do I need this?
Is it my fate?
“You just want attention!”
That’s what I’ve been told again and again…

Maybe they’re right.
Maybe they’re not.
Maybe I just can’t be alone with my thoughts.

It snaps in
With a sigh
Of relief.
Seems like
My mind was missing
A few puzzle pieces.

But you,
You fit right in.

I am not one
I am made by my experiences
I am not me
I am what happens to me.

Yet
I am the only one
That is
What I am.

I haven’t been here for a while
To make all my readers smile
I used to write every day
Guess that went away,
Anyway
I’m sorry!

I wish that my birthday didn’t
take a whole day because I
have too many things to do.
I do it to myself but there is just
too much and I feel spread so thin
like the frosting on a birthday cake.
I don’t have the time to celebrate and
what am I doing it for?
I’m not the one who brought me into
this world and now, here I am
squandering it.
I don’t know what I’m doing and
I’m wasting my time and I have
bitten off more than I can chew
and everyone expects greatness
from me.
I constantly fall apart so why does
my birthday deserve to take up
a whole day?

I strayed from a path,
A safe, sound path,
Surrounded by a dreadful
Dark forest.

I was pushed from the path,
The safe, sound path,
By an evil, evil, entity.

Sent spinning into that
Dreadful, dark forest
While people try to push and pull
Me out of the dreary gloom.

All it does
Is send me spinning
Faster and faster,
A tornado whipping through the trees.

Only one, one only
Can slow me down
And lead me over the brush
Back to that safe sound path.

Why do I dare to sing
this melody, overused and
claimed by millions of
others, with voices nearly
interchangeable but barely off,
imperceptibly so, just a dash
too much of cinnamon, not that
you’d ever know, but still
I steal these hand-me-down
words, chasing the horizon only
to retreat back to the
well-worn reef?

I see the stars
Bright, shining
In my mind.

I’m blinded
By the unhidden
Beauty of planets
Stars
Nebulas.

I see Asteroids
Asteroid belts
Space rocks
Remnants of failed space missions.

I see more
Indescribable things
Concepts
I see concepts
I see love and happiness.

I hear music
Magnificent music
Harmonizing in the deepest reaches
Of the Universe.

I see Time
A great river
With golden sand brushing my toes.

I touch the fabric of the Universe
It feels like the softest fleece
Times infinity.

I smell brownies,
Roasted marshmallows.
I smell lavender,
Sweet sap
That somehow don’t clash.

How is the Universe so beautiful?
I never want to leave this Universe in my mind.

Do you know me
Really?

I don’t know if I know me
Really.

At this certain age
It is so hard to determine
Whether what we are
Is what we are
Or if it is what we are expected to be.

We are all fighting battles
We are all fighting wars
With our own consciousness
And the ones we adore.

I’m not talking about military
Not government
But on hardships abound
Our energy is still spent.

Our trials sometimes don’t show
We don’t want others to know
But we’re all soldiers
In the war with Ourselves.

The sun
High in the sky
Like it’s standing on
A mountaintop
Balancing on the peak.

It’s lunchtime
All of our stomachs grumble.

We sit at the table.
Sandwiches!

Betrayal, lies and fire
All gather and conspire
None of them ever tire
In the game to ruin me.

All is dark where light go dies
Rotting flesh and buzzing flies
Acid rain and burnt-red skies
In the place where evil resides.

A hell all inside a person
Where the adversary would be found spittin’ and cursin’
Several demons mix up a death potion
A sea of red, a burgundy ocean.

Oh, and I mustn’t forget
This is the place your personality is set.

I thought you were ok
Guess it was too early to say.

Now you collapse in my arms
Your walls fall down, broken charms.

Your tears soak me to the bone
I feel cold, you feel alone.

You’re not alone.

Falling
            Falling
                        Falling
Falling into space
Not a trace
Of fear on this dazed face
Falling
           Falling
                       Falling
Not even do I feel
The ground, must not be real
But it is, I hear my screams peal
Off the walls of this dark tunnel.

i don’t want to be sad.

but for once, i wanna cry without laughing.

i don’t know why it’s so hard to simply cry

like a normal person.

if i’m gonna hurt, i’d rather hurt

the way most people do.

so, brain, you better be taking notes.

i was messy crying but you
took me into your arms and
told me that you loved me
and that i would be okay.
i am far too scared to let you see
my tears, most of the time,
but sometimes they break free
and i color blue outside my lines.
i thought, somehow, you would leave
me to my tears, alone, but you
did not, and picked me up, brushed off
the dirt, and let the dam break.
it is not always like this, but today
you keep me safe.
the inside of my mind was as harsh
as any bleach, corrosive, acid,
so harsh it needed a warning sign,
so harsh that i could hardly survive,
but now it is quiet and warm and suddenly
i can breathe again when i thought that
the oxygen had run out.

This generation
Is obsessed
Begging for an ovation
This nation
Is in preparation
For the worst
But it’s already started
Things have gone south
Into the uncharted
Hard-hearted
That’s what I am
You are
We are
All the phony stars
The famous people
Standing a top their great steeple
They’re not better than us
None of us are
We try
But this world is so bad
It’s enough to make a grown man cry
Grown men cry
Single moms sigh
Because this world is going south
No one trusts
Each other anymore
We ruined this world
Anger swirls
At this world of ashes
From the fire of hate
I hate
This hate
Contradiction.

Pit-pat, pit-pat
Shoes slapping on the floor.
Pit-pat, pit-pat
A quiet knock at your door.
Pit-pat, pit-pat
Raindrops, water pure.

I sit beneath the willow tree
That wilted, weeping, widow’s tree
That messy, mournful, martyr’s tree
Wishing for a better me.

I am the boughs, so bent and beaten
Desperate, derailed, defeated
Without respite, the worst repeated:
“Failed again, you failed again.”

Once, I was the vibrant green,
A softly serendipitous scene
With smiles now so seldom seen
That one day, might be found again.

I lay within the willow’s shade,
To wait and watch and let her sway,
She holds me in her vined embrace,
And says my goodness still remains.

I inhale
All the words and the pages.
I consume
All the plots and the ink.
I require
The letters and spaces
Like oxygen that I need to breathe.
I exhale
My thoughts onto paper
So that they won’t ever die.
I release
My viscera into the water:
My soul caught up in each line.

Afternoon
After school
After lunch.

We settle down
And let the light
Filtering in
Calm us.

The adrenaline fades
And the tiredness catches up with you.

Yawn,
You say.

Yawn,
She says.

Yawn,
He says.

Yawns are so contagious.

Not worth the climb
Unless you’re scared of the fall.
Not worth the love
If you can lose it.
It doesn’t matter one bit
Because if you care at all
Deep down,
You must always choose it.

If you won’t miss
The one you adore
It’s limerence,
Infatuation,
Lust, not love.
If you can let it all slide
Between your fingers like sand
If there’s no ache when you say goodbye:

What’s it worth?
It’s not worth a dime, no time.
What’s it worth?
Nothing at all.
If it’s worth
Even a bit of your heart
Then it must leave a hole when it’s gone.

𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘶𝘴.
It always works,
Doesn’t it?

But beware
When you cross that line
And nobody knows
What is true anymore.

The bandwagon
Sure is prone
To crashing.

People are walking poetry
Hard battles inside the mind.
Sometimes soft, sometimes loud, always chaos
Nothing forgotten, left behind.

Sometimes I think that people
Are full of burning hate
Then I realize that they hold love
Two opposing traits.

People are walking poetry
Each of us made of words
Caging feelings so very deep
We are adjectives and verbs
We are poems you’ll want to keep.

I just don’t know
How to live a life
Thinking that everyone
Is bad all the time.

Everyone’s wrong,
Inherently wrong,
Ever so wrong,
Then who’s good?

Me?

No, I am far
From the best person
I know.

To believe otherwise
Would be to put myself
On a very high horse
On a very high pedestal
On a very high hill
That I am 𝘯𝘰𝘵
Willing to die on.