The image
Of your tongue
Gently caressing
My spine
While
You're pulling
My hair
From behind
Brings thoughts
To mind
That make
My heart race
And I'm sure
Nothing could replace
That emotion
As you trace
Little hearts
Down my chest
With your calloused
Fingertips
Or that look of lust
That appears
With every
Sway of my hips
Or how the sight
Of me
Licking my lips
Makes you
Lose control
And you
Don't even know
How often
These images appear
But for now
It's just dreams
Until you're here
Holding me
Touching me
Kissing me roughly
Squeezing me
Pounding me
Biting be softly
I just can't wait
Until these dreams
Become my reality

Ice* cold
Like my soul
     Growing older than old
  Melting away
         As the days get hotter
Why bother with the same things
      When everything changes
          And I can't escape the heat
   Of my heart as it finally feels
                   *Defeat

First touch
First kiss,  bliss
I lick my lips
The tension releases
This feeling I feel
A sickness
This desire builds
All this touching
Still can't get my fill
Craving that look
Of passion in your eyes
Your disguise,
The satisfaction
Of friction,  sweat
Dripping between crevaces
Following the path
The moisture leaves a trail
To the bottom of the ocean
Explosion
Keep going
To the flame inside
It burns,  for you
Steady and hard
I feel this hunger
Quench my thirst
A slow and soft kiss,
First
Then it's just enough
The volcano erupts
Fall down,  bliss
It all started
With one sweet kiss

Pain is a cloud of fog that's constantly following me, shadowing over my existence and the rain is steady pouring faster with each strike to my heart and every rumble in my soul.

Love is the shelter protecting me from the storm of heartaches that keep building and raging through the nights and with his arms around me, I'm in the safest place I know.

Color the insides of my soul
With a black gloss paint

Empty the blood from my veins
Replace it with lava,
Keep it flowing through my heart

Fill my brain with tar
Let it harden,
To keep the headaches away

Turn my bones to to ash
Paint then neon orange flat paint
Because that's my favorite color

Make my skin redwood bark
Hard, to help keep away the pain
Because it's too much to handle

Erase my memories
Fill them in with a hypmotizing array
Of all the colors of the rainbow

I realize I'll look creepy
And scary as hell
But at least I won't feel anything
Anymore

I want nothing left
Of my miserable life
From before

It's crashing and caving
Down on me
This life,  I've worked so hard
Can't even get dealt one good card
And then the avalanche of pain proceeds
And I'll grieve
Try all over again
But it's the same **** thing
Lifetime of misery and defeat
Playing on repeat
Like...  
How did I get here?
How could I come this far
Just to get knocked down
This ground made of pavement
My new best friend
I'll just lay here awhile
Get walked all over
While I wear a pretty smile
Dial it down a notch
Like...
How much more can I take?
You've defeated me
I'm laying here holding you
Waiting for a breath
There's no wealth or help
No welfare consuming momma to help me out
I'll just kiss this pavement
Down for the count
Give up?
That's what I'll do...
You beautiful slab of concrete you
With me in life,  with me in death
It's my final breath,  
I'll spend it in your cold hard arms
My solace on the ground
As low as I can go
You've been walked on your whole life too
You feel what I do
******* Pavement
I hate you

Tis but a dream I scream I scream
My body weak and weary

I lay in bed with throbbing head
And thoughts dark and dreary

I sing the song, What's wrong? What's wrong?
Am I left forgotten?

This be said, face turn red
Stomach spoiled and rotten

Demons spawn, be gone, be gone
As they take my breath

Be pearly gate or hell as fate
I've come to my death

Something about that art
That flows from the end
Of your pen
Words that flow
Like electric ink
Through a water fountain
Of pain and misery
It's like ecstasy
That you can breathe
It's an air of mystery
You conceal
Within your walls of doom
That you've built
Around your heart
Covered it with scars
Battle wounds that reflect
The quarrel of lost loves
And admitted defeat
Your words truly speak
On paper with a voice
That's hard to define
It's up to you to decide
How you continue your life
Will just keep writing?
Or will you actually start fighting?

You won't find another goddess like me
Making all my words flow like poetry
I'm a lyrical genius
A metaphorical blasphemous
A stream of consciousness
To rock your world
I'm not just another girl
Make your minds spin and twirl
I'm THE Poetry Goddess
Making images with words
Like paint on a canvas
A visual impression on your mind
A poet like me
Is hard to come by
Try to visualize
Me walking away
That's the day
You'll say you're hardest goodbye
Cuz a Poetry Goddess like me
Is hard to come by

It's the flow of poisonous ink
The way you think
It's deadly
It's the sound of a beautiful scream
The way you dream
It's poetry

Your words are a dagger
Only stronger
Piercing through hearts
Touching a lifeless mind
Pain in some parts
But not difficult to find

It's the rain after lightning
The way your words pour
It's rhythmic
It's the heat of the sun setting
Powerful like never before
It's electric

Written or thought
I care not
Just that it's preserved
Because
This life is a song
**What will be your verse?

Glass, so fragile
Reflections of a smile
I haven't seen in a awhile
And its true what they say
"Beware:
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear"
And I see you there and here
Everywhere it seems
And it's a beautiful dream

And
        It
           Crashes
                          Down

That fragile glass wall,  
Built up so tall,  and steady
But you're not ready...

And the shards of the wall you built around your heart come tumbling down, slicing up the memories you so carefully hid away.

In an array of shattered fragments of past lies and deceits, you're caught in the fall of all those non beliefs.

But it's a relief to finally see clearly,  no foggy glass to block the path that lays in front of your feet.

Time to meet your future, get used to walking and crying and feeling all the emotions you didn't wanna deal with, mentally.

Externally, you slowly drag your feet through the sand that was once a wall to block out the doubt and fear of rejection,  the wall that hardened your heart, Pure Glass Perfection.

They're feverish with desire
Eclipsed in love
Raging like a black smoke fire
****** scents rising above
The pheromones they release
Must be smelled miles away
They've missed this, the tease
And liquid glances, it's been days
Since, either have touched the other
But they still feel that ****** tension
On every inch of their skin
When they're finally away from prying eyes
Their lips mesh, his hands move to her thighs
And hers slide up through his hair
Gripping on tight
They could be spotted, but neither cares
He pushes her hard against the wall
Bringing her legs around his hips
She thanks heaven she wore a skirt
And quiets a moan by devouring his lips
He quickly, fervently unzips his jeans
Releasing himself and promptly
Entering her sweet, wet heat
He groans as he swallows her scream
Then pounds in hard, fast, ferociously
She rocks her hips with a delicious little motion
Squeezing her core tight, biting his lips
Coming almost instantly when he growls with delight
He thrusts harder, incessantly feeling her getting tight
Moving her ankles to rest on his shoulders
He delves his shaft as deep inside as he can reach
She scratches scars along his back
And they kiss so deep like it's the final feast
She throbs in her core as another wave hits at full force
Starts going weak as she comes once more
Feeling her liquid pour, brings him to the edge
He grips her ankles stretching the limits of her flexibility
Then roars into her sweet mouth as he comes, vigorously
He lets her legs go, but holds her upright
They both sigh knowing it's the beginning of the night,
And that was just a quickie

Gold at the end of the rainbow
Smoke flowing out of the fire
Rain falling from dark clouds
Washing away what's left of desire
True Red, bleeding out blood
True Blue, tears soaked through
Truly Purple, royal people,
Brains and thoughts all their own
Yet becoming more the unknown
Less in life, more in death
Gotta die,  
Before someone hears your breath.
Words mean nothing
If their still here to write more
When they're gone
"Quoth the Raven 'Nevermore'"

I wear them to hide my eyes
To hide my face
My disguise from a world filled with lies
You see...
Everything looks pink and pretty
So much better than the reality
I don't wanna believe in the dark things
Ugly things
Scary things
Nothing is what it seems behind these lenses
The world is but a dream
With pretty grass on both sides of the fences
Rose tinted sunglasses
Help me through
Show me all the good in you
And when I look in the mirror
I can see what you do
Rosy cheeks and a beautiful smile
Can't you see?
That's why I haven't taken them off
In such a long while...

There's nothing more romantic
          in my eyes
        Than holding your hand
   And talking about our lives
          Because in my mind
The only thing better than the fantasy
        Is the intimacy I feel
  When it's just you and me
            *connecting

Have you ever felt so alone
You just break down and cry?
Start wondering why,
Is it even worth it
Why do you even try?

Have you ever been so scared
You just crawl up in a ball,
And drown the world out?
Waiting to fall
Why do you bother at all?

Have you ever felt so much pain
You'd rather just feel nothing?
Walk away from everything
Just leave it all behind

Because I have...

But
In the back of your mind
Your counting
Counting the days
And the ways to say goodbye
Cause deep inside
You wanna try
But it hurts and it's hard
There's scars on your heart
And scars on the truth
Cause you're not bullet proof
Or immune to the lies

Have you ever missed someone so much
They're all you see when you close your eyes?
And it's hard to define when you can't even touch

Because I have...

Have you ever felt so much hatred
Makes your eyes burn red?
Knowing you can't forget it
Or forgive it
It's done and dead
Blowing it all up
Filling your head

Have you ever seen someone so scared
That they can't even speak?
Can barely breath
Look in their eyes and see deep
Through to their soul
But you'll never know
What made them so

Have you ever felt so weak
That you just fall down
On the ground
Can't get up or
Even let out a sound?

Because I have...

She cries late
                  every night
     Turns off all the
                           lights
         Sits in bed
bawls
             her eyes out
      in the dark
Cutting out pieces
      of her heart
No one can see
                          the scars
           of her sewing
back up her chest
       Soon she will be
             an empty shell
        Hopefully
                    putting her soul to rest
If her heart
                    is no longer there
It can't get broken,
              right?
If no one can see
                          the tears
Then she never cried,
                     right?

She shouted from the roof tops
Her love for him
And how it would never stop

He simply stared at her
In utter shock
nobody could ever love me
Or so he thought...

She smiled with her arms spread apart
Waiting for a response

He stood there silently
Unable to move but wanting to walk
Walk away from the lies
Cause he'd been hurt too many times

She begged and pleaded
Trying to make him believe
It's the truth she said

But he couldn't respond
Simply turned around to leave
women only hurt me
Was all he could believe
Too much pain and abuse
For those lies to become the truth

She sunk inside herself
Filled with pain and so many tears
After years of trying
She finally faced her fears
Only to be hit with rejection
Imperfections of love
Shown at there finest
She couldn't stand her thoughts...

He slowed his walk
Thought about the past
Suddenly came to realize
This life is your last
And there on that roof top
He may have finally found some hope
So he stopped his walk
Turned around to accept the truth
Only to find
That she had jumped off...

Seeing the flames
   Burning everything in there wake
             Taking my soul down too
   I can't take all this
       For God's sake
    Like a sidewalk massacre
Everyone has to stop and stare
        Watching all the blood drip
    But none of them really care
           Gotta get a grip
I know this life ain't fair
         Trying to balance my thoughts
    On a tight rope of razor blades
Getting sliced up on the inside
      No matter which choice I make
Whether or not I know they lied
           I'll always know they're all fake
   And it's a shame
           That it's always a game
     With no way to win
Or start over again
         Without being the only one to blame

"Wish in one hand and **** in the other."
Your disappointments leave me smothered!
Wake up tomorrow - why even bother?!
I'm just a drunk like my ******* father!
You say there's hope, but it's a ghost
A dream you wish to see at the most
I guess you can call me, "Skeptic"
Not paranoid - just ******* sick
Hell on Earth seems to be dawning quick!

Just a simple wish upon a star
You're abuse has gone too far
I'll just sleep off all the scars
Another shot of whiskey in my glass
Getting tipsy before I kick your ***
I just need to calm myself at long last
My dreams are filled with too many images of you
You're the past and I know that we're through
I guess all these demons will just have to do

Keep coming back, because I'm a ***** for more
I must be a ******* at the ******* core
Ptolemy - what's wrong with our souls?!
We look past the stars to gaze at black holes!
I don't believe and I can never be deceived,
for this paranoia permits no bit of reprieve
I guess everything is just as it seems -
idealized, and finalized - know what I mean?!

I know returning to you will only cause me pain
I'm no Queen but you're the King that reigns
As a lowly peasant, I know I must refrain
But there is just something that draws me to you
The stars have predicted the truth
And I know there's nothing I can do
You've moved on, I keep thinking about the past
I know the heartache cannot be surpassed
I'm just sorry that I ever asked

For my final ******* act the stage has just been set:
Dead man walking, but I don't have one regret
Is it the psychosis in my brain
or the necrosis in my veins?
Either ******* way, I've never been more sane
Head on to heartbreak - let romantics rot
Pardon this dead cat, but out of everything I've taught,
why was reciprocity the one you forgot?
If there's a cure for bad blood, you can keep it
Your ****'s been sewn so now it's time to reap it

there's a special grace about the way it flows
in and around, back again
with a certain sound, there it goes
twisting through to the end

It's a perpetual movement
Through my mind
Discovering the choices
Regrets left behind
Second glances back
Chances to change the past
Physical challenges
To test limits and strength
Observe the struggle

A style all your own
How you blossom
How you've grown
Taking the time
To really decide
Despite contradiction
It's your decision
Feel the warmth
Melt the desire
Or burn inside
With a raging fire

It's an incessant cycle
Through the times
Making the wrong choice
Or doing it right
Don't look back
The past is gone
Left in the past
You can't change it
Just learn from it
Where you've been don't matter
It's where you're going
That really counts

Add it all up,  
Amount to much?
Don't give up
It could be a touch,
A look,  a soft whisper
Feelings deeper
That can change it all
So express,  be heard
Spread your wings
Fly like a bird
Take a deep breath
Now soar

Catastrophic calamity
Souls made of blasphemy
On the down low
The World as a whole
Had turned to anarchy
And it's a shame there's no name
For all this antirelgious hate
Spreading across the world
Like a facebook game
Everyone looking for a high score
All in the name of fame

You'd be surprised
        How much
               Your touch
                    
*Means to Me

Tears just stream  
             down
      My face
No one can see
    No one can
            Hear
The sound of my heart
       Cracking
Into thousands of little bits
           And pieces
I hug myself tight
       Dreaming of another
   Who could love me
             Right
Trying to decipher
      What's worse....

Never being loved
         Or
Being loved by the wrong guy?

       *I guess I'll just
  Give it some more time....

There's something in your way
You move me
Touch me
Make me feel
Everything
Like its been forever
In just a day

There's something in your eyes
You see all of me
Through me
Inside of me
Nothing
Is unknown to you
Not today, not ever

There's something in your heart
The way you love me
Unconditionally
You want me
You need me
All of me
Everyday
Like its been an eternity
And eventually
We'll fulfill destiny

Throughout this soundtrack that I call my life,
       your heart is the beat,
          your voice is the lyrics,
   your soul is the slow and steady rhythm,
             your kisses are the chorus
       and your face is the album art.
Without you,
  I would never hear music the same again.

One more step closer
                     is heartache
One step back would
                           be regret
I'll just stand here,
                    confused

I don't know what else to do...

        I can no longer
           breathe...
        I can no longer
                     move...

Just take a step towards
                      me
Then I'll gladly step towards
                *you

Lonely
In the corner
Staring into an abyss
       of pointless options
And all the edges
       in the world
Aren't sharp enough
       to cut through
The concrete wall
       surrounding her heart

Cold**
In a crowded room
Searching for an empathetic face
She sees the smiles
        filling the empty space
And it seems
        that no amount of joy
Is real enough
        to take the fears place

It's a blessing and a curse,
    this connection that we share
A balance between the love we feel
        and how much we should care

Black and white dreams
Less conventional
            it seems
Yet,
         I still believe
That too
    many
colors
Can fade out
        the true meaning
And if
       I dream of death
Then it's *just
                   the beginning

Like superman to your batman
I actually got power
Power with ink,  
Power with flow
Don't even blink
I'll make your mind blow

Like my cape to your batmobile
How does it feel?
Knowing I can fly,  
You just spinning your wheels
Throwing around money
While I'm saving the world

Like my Lois Lane to your Robin
I'll actually get the guy
You sitting there cryin
Cause money don't but happiness
Neither does fame
Just writing what I feel
And you'll never be the same

My Clark Kent to your Bruce Wayne
Might as well just give up
Cause you'll never be me
I'm just made of stronger stuff
Its the end of the line
Especially for you
Maybe it's time
To figure out what else you can do...

Like colors on a wheel
We compliment each other
We're complete opposites
Bringing out the best in each other
So rough around the edges
With a smooth consistency
Mixed with some clashed feelings
And a fine tuned delicacy

The beauty I saw in your eyes,  
         Peering into your soul.
It's depths astounded me,
     your poetry amazed me,
Another half to broken pieces made whole.
Yet the pain I saw eluded me,
          it baffled me
   how you could be that sad...
I remember this dream I had,
Where you were in complete despair,
     crying in a corner,
             Tears blood red
I can't remember exactly what you said,
     but it crushed me.
           The next day,
while you were smiling and joking around,
I tried to glimpse deep in your eyes,
          what I found?
Stunned me to tears, after all these years,
          how could I not see?
I think you were about to ask me what was wrong,
            But you realized I discovered what you'd been hiding all along.
I didn't know what to say,
          or how to speak...
Then I saw a grin start to form in the dimple on your cheek.
         You'd fooled me, arrogantly tricked me,
You pulled up your sleeve and grabbed a knife,
              Started slicing away just to torture me,
          Slowly ending my life.

Tear stained and damaged
So close to the truth
Looking deep inside
So much to lose
Tear stained shirt
And a tear stained cheek
Impossible to clean
Leaving the heart so weak
Tears rolling down
Asking so many questions
Getting no answers
But tear stained emotions
A devotion to tears
Fighting away the fears
Everything looks clear
Through glistening eyes
Time to apologize
To stop all the cries
Of my tears stained eyes

You ripped my heart in shreds
For so many years
I'm hear to tell you
I'm crying no more tears
I see no more love
That it's all over now
How will I survive?
Forgetting you, that's how.
I'm done with the pettiness
And stupid lies
Such immaturity
You get no more tries

He's hurt me
Cut me open wide
Taken out my heart
And destroyed my pride
I want to forget
I want to start anew
But I'm not sure I can
I'm not sure what to do
It's like my life has ended
The past eight years
So much pain
Not worth my tears
But I'm gonna cry
I can't hold back
It hurts so much
To see all that I lack

I have my doubts
I'm really not sure
I'll figure it out
I'll find a cure
For my broken heart
Unwillingly shattered
Torn all apart
Bruised and battered
I'll pick up the pieces
And get up off the floor
I won't look back
While I walk out the door

There's no more time to spend
    On all the reality of things
         Because I've gone broke
      Listening to your crazy *dreams