"A Little Fall Of Rain
Will Make The Flowers Grow"

"Let's make it
all for one
and all for love"

Walking in the woods, there is human breath
A girl who has come back from the darkness of death
Her eyes shine in the moon of the night
Tomorrow, she will finally see the morning light
She has been dead for several years
There are maggots crawling out of her ears
The girl will walk for several days
Eyes set on the horizon gaze
On her grave, Beloved is her name
Her life will never be the same
She longs to see her mother’s face
To be held again in those arms of grace
She will not stop, she will not rest
Until she is safe where she feels best
On her grave, Beloved is her name

All those stares everywhere I go,
Beating and burning the back of my head.
Can you even imagine being me -
“Different”, a minority?
Everything is changing as I am
Finding out what I am made of -
Giving me unending pride and
Hope for the future world -
Inspired by equality for all.
Just look inside my soul and
Know that I am not so bad.
Look at me and understand that
My name has changed and it is
Not the same as when I was born.
Operations will transform me into the
Person I am in my heart and in my mind.
Questions from you are welcomed,
Rudeness, however, can be left at the door.
Send your bitterness and hate away to learn
That not all people are the same.
Understand that I will always love myself and
Violence will never ever be the answer
When all I want is to be accepted.
X marks the spot on our hearts when
You have decided to wholly learn to
Zero out the hate in which our society takes a toll.
Zero out the cold-heartedness and
You will feel better about yourself.
X’s and O’s go to the people
Who love me for simply being me.
Victory unending goes to those who  
Understand and love each other
Through the most difficult times -
Sorrow, hate, crimes, and pain.
Realize that we do not need help,
Quit telling us that we are mentally sick,
Pretty pretty please, with a cherry on top.
Oh, I hope and dream that the day is
Nearing when we are equal in each eye,
Minorities will cease to exist anymore with
Love that is pure and acceptance for all.
Knowing that each of us is not the same
Just simply goes to show that
I will never let you bring me down.
***** is not my name, never ever will it be.
Gender identity is not a choice -
Forgiveness, though, is a choice.
Educate yourself to gain knowledge.
Do not call me “dude” or ”man”,
Call me Unique, not my birth name.
By all means, you don’t have to love me -
All I ask is that you accept me for being me.

All those stares everywhere I go,
Beating and burning the back of my head.
Can you even imagine being me -
“Different”, a minority?
Everything is changing as I am
Finding out what I am made of -
Giving me unending pride and
Hope for the future world -
Inspired by equality for all.
Just look inside my soul and
Know that I am not so bad.
Look at me and understand that
My name has changed and it is
Not the same as when I was born.
Operations will transform me into the
Person I am in my heart and in my mind.
Questions from you are welcomed,
Rudeness, however, can be left at the door.
Send your bitterness and hate away to learn
That not all people are the same.
Understand that I will always love myself and
Violence will never ever be the answer
When all I want is to be accepted.
X marks the spot on our hearts when
You have decided to wholly learn to
Zero out the hate in which our society takes a toll.
Zero out the cold-heartedness and
You will feel better about yourself.
X’s and O’s go to the people
Who love me for simply being me.
Victory unending goes to those who  
Understand and love each other
Through the most difficult times -
Sorrow, hate, crimes, and pain.
Realize that we do not need help,
Quit telling us that we are mentally sick,
Pretty pretty please, with a cherry on top.
Oh, I hope and dream that the day is
Nearing when we are equal in each eye,
Minorities will cease to exist anymore with
Love that is pure and acceptance for all.
Knowing that each of us is not the same
Just simply goes to show that
I will never let you bring me down.
***** is not my name, never ever will it be.
Gender identity is not a choice -
Forgiveness, though, is a choice.
Educate yourself to gain knowledge.
Do not call me “dude” or ”man”,
Call me Unique, not my birth name.
By all means, you don’t have to love me -
All I ask is that you accept me for being me.

Here I sit, completely alone,
No company, except for the thoughts in my head.
Those unassuring feelings wash over me,
Like an immense wave of the ocean,
Inviting me in harmlessly - or so i thought.
The massive wave swallows me...  
... Then CRASH the wave slams against the sand.  
There I go - turning, flipping, rolling and spinning - out of control.

I can not control my mind.  
It flips, it turns, it rolls, it spins,
It is out of control,
As I crash upon the sandy shore.  

Even though I am trapped,
I do not stop, I can not stop.  
As the thoughts go deeper into my soul -  
The crash hits harder

Here I sit, completely alone,
No company except for those thoughts in my head.

Mommy went to Heaven,
but I need her here today,
My tummy hurts and I fell down,
I need her right away!
Operator, can you tell me how
to find her in this book?
Is Heaven in the yellow part?
I don't know where to look.
I think my Daddy needs her too,
at night I hear him cry.
I hear him call her name sometimes,  
but I really don't know why.  
Maybe if I call her
she will hurry home to me.  
Is Heaven very far away?
is it across the sea?
She's been gone a long, long time,  
she needs to come home now!
I really need to reach her,
but I simply don't know how.  
Help me find the number please
is it listed under "Heaven"?
I can't read these big big words,  
I am only seven.
I'm sorry operator, ,
I didn't mean to make you cry,  
Is your tummy hurting too?  
or is there something in your eye?
If I call my church maybe they will know.
Mommy said when we need help
that's where we should go.
I found the number to my church
tacked up on the wall.  
Thank you operator,
I'll give them a call.

You're My World
My Heart
My Soul...
... Don't Ever Leave...

The roses aren't as pretty
The sun isn't quite as high
The birds don't sing as sweet of a lullaby
The stars are a little bit faded
The clouds are just a little more gray
And it feels like things won't ever be the same

Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind
Heaven got a little better the day that it took you away from me
I'm missing you tonight
I'll see you again sometime
For now, I'll close my eyes
And dream of heaven tonight

The beaches aren't as lovely
The sky isn't quite as blue
Still, they're sweetened by the memory of you
The rain is a little bit colder
The fire is never quite as warm
Still, it seems that heaven isn't all that far

Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind
Heaven got a little better the day that it took you away from me
I'm missing you tonight
I'll see you again sometime
For now, I'll close my eyes
And dream of heaven tonight

I'm spending a little more time now with the things that mean a little bit more
I'm noticing the wonders of this world
I love with a little more hope now
I live with a little more peace
Cause I understand how precious life can be

Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind
Heaven got a little better the day that it took you away from me
I'm missing you tonight
I'll see you again sometime
For now, I'll close my eyes
And dream of Heaven tonight

Without you, there would be no sun in my sky...
Without you, there would be no love in my life...
Without you, there would be no world left for me...

I do not understand...

In school,
When we were young,
We learned to respect others,
and treat everybody as an equal

But those who taught us
To not be disrespectful
are the ones who choose favorite students

In the classroom,
by the teachers,
maybe some of us are not equal

...they are the hypocrites...

I wish I could forget you...
But I can not...

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong
I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid

No song unsung
No wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we'll live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed.

I wish I could reach up and reset that sun.
Back to yesterday, when you said I was "the one".

Back to when I loved you, and you loved me.
and whatever would be, would simply be.

When our love was deeper than the immense sea
and as big as a wide open valley

When our love was as beautiful as a snow-capped mountain
and more wishful than the water from the coin fountain

"Learn to relax,
Do not think so much,
Just be"

- Ordinary People
Novel by: Judith Guest

"I remind myself
that love is sometimes
about letting go..."

I love you, but you love her
What did I do so wrong that you would leave me with my heart in my hands?
I miss you, but you don't think twice about me.
My broken heart has been shattered too many times
I gave you everything, but you don't care.
Do you ever think about me the same way I think about you?
Those stupid love songs bring back so many memories of last summer.
The laughs, the smiles, the way we danced, even the way we cried - Will forever be in my heart.
Why did you leave me for her? What does she have the I don't?

It pains me to say this, but I am happy that you are happy now, even if it does not mean you are with me.
I will forever remember what we went through, and I will always cherish our memories.

... I really hate that I fell in love with you...

I have one friend, and one friend only,
With each other we are never lonely.
We do everything together,
Like two birds of a feather, forever and ever.
But sometimes he isn't here,
Why does he disappear?
On days when I need him the most,
He turns away like a ghost.
When the sun goes away,
I feel my soul go astray.
That is when my friend will vanish,
But until morning, I will manage.
Tomorrow, we will play again,
Away the sorrow, away the pain.
We will freely run in that grassy meadow,
Just me and my friendly shadow.

He had his entire life ahead of him.
He was smart, kind, and handsome

But that accident came,
and no one is to blame

He left Earth so soon, is it fair?
He came and went like a breeze of cool air.

He is now safe, He is with God
In a small town, we are still awed.

We cry and pray, pray and cry
Asking God again and again "Why, Oh Why?"

We all know God had bigger plans
Which are more powerful that an ordinary man's


I guess this is good-bye,
So *spread your wings and fly

Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation.
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses abandon their defences...

Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendour.
Grasp it, sense it tremulous and tender.
Turn your face away from the garish light of day,
Turn your face away from cold, unfeeling light -
and listen to the music of the night...

Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams!
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before!
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar!
And you'll live as you've never lived before.

Softly, deftly, music shall caress you.
Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you.
Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind,
in this darkness which you know you cannot fight
the darkness of the music of the night.

Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world!
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before!
Let your soul take you where you long to be!
Only then can you belong to me.

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication!
Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation!
Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in,
To the harmony which dreams alone can write,
The power of the music of the night!

You alone can make my song take flight,
Help me make the music of the night.

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you

And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get

Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish, yeah yeah

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own

"The best people possess a feeling for beauty,
The courage to take risks,
The discipline to tell the truth,
The capacity for sacrifice.
Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable
Yet, they are often wounded,
Sometimes destroyed."
- Ernest Hemingway

You can not choose
what stays in your life
or what leaves forever...

... But I hope I will stay in yours,
and I pray you will never leave mine.

Please help me to say good-bye,
It's okay to feel hurt, It's okay to cry.

I promise I will not be in pain anymore
I promise that my promises will be sure.

It hurts like hell,
But this is my last farewell.

My soul is now in Heaven
So lay me down in that wooden coffin.

Hold my hand, then let me go
You look at me, then walk away slow

Oh, How I wish I could hold you,
To tell you that my love is still true.

I want to speak and see your face
I long to be held once more in your arms of grace.

A single tear rolls down your cheek,
You can not form the words you want to speak.

You remember the past six years,
The smiles, laughs, even the tears.

I know it will be hard to do,
But promise me you will find a girl just for you.

I have moved on to bigger things,
I received my halo and my wings.

I believe there is a reason for everything,  
Even if we didn't get our spring wedding.

Now I will help you to say good-bye,
It's okay to hurt, it's okay to cry.

I promise I will hold you close in my heart,
There, we will never be apart.

*I promise to keep my promises, my love

Place your hand on your heart.
Feel that?
That is called purpose...
Find your place in this crazy, beautiful, messed up world
before you have to leave it.

I see the city lights all around me
Everyone's obscure
Ten million people each with their problems
Why should anyone care

And in Your eyes I can see
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

Sometimes my life it feels so trivial
Immersed in the greatness of space
Yet somehow you still find the time for me
It's then You show me Your love

And In Your eyes I can see
And in Your arms I will be
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

If only my one heart
Was all you'd gain from all it cost
Well I know you would have still been a man
With a reason
To willingly offer your life

I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

Just one in a million faces

The pain hurts,  
But it feels good as well,
I want to be be accepted
Even if I have to walk through hell

I am not "Cool"
I am not "Skinny"
I am 93 pounds
Hoping I will soon be "Mini"

Yesterday I did not eat,
I will not eat today,
I will not eat tomorrow
Or even the next day

I want to be skinny,
I want to be cool
I exercise everyday
and swim in the pool

I know this is not healthy,
I know I could die
But being accepted is all I want
I want that gap between my thigh

My friend tells me
"Have a slice of pie".
I have never told her
Of my new life.

Doctor told me today,
That I will die
He gave me three weeks
So I guess this is good-bye

Do not hurt yourself,
Please do not make the same mistake
It is not worth the pain
It is  not worth the heartache

I wanted to be accepted
I was mislead
Society is wrong
Now I am dead

There is not turning back
There is no second chance
I want to feel the sun again,
And learn how to dance

I was anorexic
I made a wrong choice
So promise me one thing:
Tell my story, be the heard voice

Sometimes I Just Cry
I Have To Let It Out

There, out in the darkness
A fugitive running
Fallen from God
Fallen from grace
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face

He knows his way in the dark
Mine is the way of the Lord
And those who follow the path of the righteous
Shall have their reward
And if they fall
As Lucifer fell
The flame
The sword!

Stars
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night

You know your place in the sky
You hold your course and your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
And if you fall as Lucifer fell
You fall in flame!

And so it has been and so it is written
On the doorway to paradise
That those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price!

Lord let me find him
That I may see him
Safe behind bars
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by the stars!

I'd sell my soul just to see your face.
And I'd break my bones just to heal your pain.
In these times I need a saving grace, but time is running out and I'm starting to lose my faith.

But if I told you I loved you, would it make you want to stay?
I'm sorry for the way I hurt you and making you walk away.
(I should have took the time to tell you)
And if I wrote you a love song and sang it to you every day, would it ever be enough to make you wanna come back home and stay?
(I can't go another day without you)
Would it make you, make you, wanna stay?
(Girl you gotta know I love you)

My heart's on my sleeve, but it's turning black.
(I guess I know what it feels like it to be alone)
Without your touch I'm not gonna last.
(I know you know that I need ya just to carry on)
It feels like my walls are caving in.
(You'd always hold me before I left you hanging on)
And I'll do anything to have you here again.

But if I told you I loved you, would it make you want to stay?
I'm sorry for the way I hurt you and making you walk away.
(I should have took the time to tell you)
And if I wrote you a love song and sang it to you every day, would it ever be enough to make you wanna come back home and stay?
(I can't go another day without you)

Yeah, the days are cold, the nights are long.
And I can't stand to be alone.
Please know this is not your fault.

And all I want...

Is to tell you I love you and make you wanna stay.
There's gotta be a way, 'cause going on without you is killing me everyday.

And if I wrote you a love song and sang it to you every day, would it ever be enough to make you wanna come back home and stay?
(I can't go another day without you)
Would it make you, make you, wanna stay?
(Girl you gotta know I love you)
Would it make you, make you, wanna stay?
(I can't go another day without you)

Would it make you, make you, wanna stay?

"The Sun Sees Your Body;
The Moon Sees Your Soul"

Well, I wish there was a telephone in Heaven.
Oh, how I'd love to talk to my Dad.
I'd tell him that I miss him and I love him,
And I'm sorry for the times we never had.

And I wonder if they'd charge me by the minute,
I wonder if they'd charge me by the mile,
I'd call up that ole Angel operator,
Could I please talk to my Daddy for awhile?
Telephone in Heaven

Well, I wish there was a telephone in Heaven.
Oh, how I'd love to talk to my Grandma.
I tell her that I miss her Sunday cookin,
I haven't ate like that since you went to meet Grandpa.

Well, I wonder if they'd charge me by the minute,
I wonder if they'd charge me by the mile,
I'd call up that ole Angel operator,
Could I please talk to my Grandma for awhile?
Telephone in Heaven

Well, I wish there was a telephone in Heaven.
Oh, how I'd love to talk to the Lord of mine.
I'd tell him that I love him and I'm thankful
For watching over all these loves of mine,

And I know he wouldn't charge me by the minute,
I'm sure he wouldn't charge me by the mile,
I'd call up that ole Angel operater,
And say thank you for this big long distance smile,
Telephone in Heaven.

"It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."
-Agustus Waters
The Fault In Our Stars

"I Just Can't Believe
The Way I Feel About You"

You were just one grade above me in high school.
You graduated last year.
You made big plans for your life and your future...
... But then the fateful day came fast.
The accident could not be stopped
And no one is to be blamed.

I went to your wake today.
I saw your mom, dad, brothers and sisters.
But who I remember most is your beautiful girlfriend.
You loved her to the ends of the earth,
but you left her behind.

I barley knew you, or ever talk to you
but what I do know is that
No mother should ever have to bury her own son,
It broke my heart seeing all the people you left behind.

As I walked past to view your body one last time,
I prayed
"God, I pray [His name goes here,
but I think it is most respectful not to say his name]
is safe in Heaven with you. I pray for his family. I pray that they are safe and will find hope and have faith in this time of greif"

I hugged your mom, dad, sisters, and brothers,
and your girlfriend
and told them how sorry I was..
.. but no words of mine can bring you back.
Nothing I can say or do can bring you back to us.

Life is short.
At the age of 19, you left us.

Nobody knows when their last day on Earth is,
So all I ask of whoever is reading this is,
To live life to the fullest and do not regret anything.

If tomorrow never comes,
Tell your loved ones that you love them
Apologize
Say "Thank you"
Take risks
Love life
Love your family and friends
and
Forgive your enemies

You must have been in a place so dark
You couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are
Gathered in our little hometown
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd

Oh why, that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could've
Said or done
Oh, I had no clue you were
Masking
A troubled soul, God only knows
What went wrong and why
You would leave the stage
In the middle of a song

Now in my mind I'll keep you frozen
As a seventeen-year-old
Rounding third to score the
Winning run
You always played with passion
No matter what the game
When you took the stage
You'd shine just like the sun

Oh why, that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could've
Said or done
Oh, I had no clue you were
Masking
A troubled soul, God only knows
What went wrong and why
You would leave the stage
In the middle of a song

Now the oak trees are swaying
In the early autumn breeze
A golden sun is shining on my face
Through tangled thoughts
I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that
Bad of a place

Oh why, there's no comprehending
And who am I to try to
Judge or explain
Oh, but I do have one
Burning question
Who told you life wasn't
Worth the fight
They were wrong, they lied
Now you're gone and we cry
'Cause it's not like you to
Walk away
In the middle of a song

Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song

I can't form words to match
what my mind feels