I always throw these really cool birthday parties And I always invite a bunch of people From Near and far And have always made loads of effort into making it perfect; The right venue, the correct menu, For all the people old and new- In whatever childish attempt to make myself feel like I am loved To help myself to feel that I am loved, But I can not recall the last time I had a birthday Where I didn't wish that I wasn't born.
They say "time flies when you're having fun." But I don't remember having any fun. And I know I'm not the only one. I remember working. Fighting about money. But, for the life of me, I don't remember my kid being much bigger than a bunny. I remember being stressed in great detail. I even remember daydreaming about getting a boat and sailing away. But of all the things I wish I could remember, I wish I knew where the time had gone. Where my life had gone.
Fire licking the frame of my bed The sheets are all stained red My mother’s corpse lying there Tears streaming down my eyes as I clutch my teddy bear I huddle in my bed as the fire spreads Holding my blankets remaining threads Closing my eyes, I wish it’s all in my head Looking at my mother, I wished it was me instead I wish it was me instead It’s all in my head ~19/3/21
Its not supposed to be this hard right? I'm not supposed to wonder day to day if i'll be ok right? I look back at pictures of the people I had to leave behind they still remember me like I remember them right? Im not the only one who feels like they have to move on right? But you see I cant help thinking they dont remember me I know i'm not ok I am trying...
I find myself dreaming of how life was before I find myself longing for the ways things once were I wish I'd of been content instead of always asking for more I wish I remembered it vividly but now its just a blur Going out with friends and the time that went by so fast If only I had known that it wouldn't all last Now confined within the walls that make up my home I feel so trapped like I'm quarantined inside a dome Just a few months ago everything was as it should be Just a few months ago we had no restrictions and were free But now because of fear, our freedom has strict borders We have no other choice than to follow the government's orders I suppose we'll recall a few months ago as the before Because It's doubtful that things will ever be like that any more
Please no rude comments, it's been forever since I wrote and It took a lot of confidence for me to post this!!