My heart starts beating fast
I keep wishing the moment would last
Seconds, minutes, hours?
I guess they all pass
When I see you.
I can't even look at you
My eyes dart around the room
Checking if anyone else can see
What your meer presence does to me.
never have I ever been confident in myself
so forgive me
when I fear
that this 'love' I think it is
isn't The love
Trust me when I say
with all my heart,
I want you to be The One.
so very much
more than anything I've wanted ever in my life
which says a lot.
I have many wishes that came back as disappointments
But I've always known how blessed I am
So I wish
with all the blessings I will ever have
for the future and love we promised each other
to be real.
You treasured your body,
you kept it for me even before meeting me.
I treasured my heart,
I kept it for you even before knowing you.
You once gave your heart away,
it came back bruised and broken,
I helped it heal after we met
But the thought bothered me,
I wished we met earlier
so you never felt pain like this.
I once gave my body away,
it came back numb and broken,
You helped it heal after we met
But the thought bothered you,
You wished we met earlier
so I never gave up like this.
You kept your body locked down for me
I kept my love locked down for you
so they are not polluted, so they can be pure as new
we met earlier, so
I could give you the unbroken and whole me
that you deserved.
The Perfect way to know for sure is “wait”
or you’re just leaping to the next thing you think that’s great, with a chance of running against fate.
Given a fairy-tale reality
You try your hardest to fight the insecurities
a motivation to finally learn to love yourself
The default setting,
”It's too good to be true."
embraced the idea of bliss soon fleeting
Was everything sweet and heart-melting
it was pleasant and pure, simple and warm
It's sitting closer to you just to steal a little warmth
a lovely secret you swear to kept to yourself unless Otherwise
It is a fresh start from hell since you got into your birthday skin
The Otherwise happened
it was so unexpected
like two painters meeting in the middle of the canvas
Realising what they were painting
was just half of something wonderful
and together you created a masterpiece without knowing
Retracing that your entire life was leading up
natural instinct kicked in
But being Home
Prevented it from happening
being home disconnects the motherboard
It was like being crippled your entire life
then given a walking stick
And I would ask for nothing more
Just grateful you added a new colour palette in my life
wishing. With you
I could finally
walk slower and enjoy the view I have always loved
Hoping we'd walk to the end hand in hand
How I wish we are so far away from the end
knowing even when we do
Hands would still be linked after crossing the line
I want the entire room to be filled with paintings we paint
trusting nothing could torch it, even with a burning fire Match
The Perfect way to “Grow Up Too Fast” is by being a spectator for as long as you dream
yet you know just by submitting an application, you could be on the team
Failed by a daughter’s first hero, the warrior geared up,
Dreams still filled of rainbows and unicorns, lilies and daisies,
fireplace and wooden cabin, hot chocolate and cosy blankets,
chase towards the sunset, walks on the beach and dives into the seas.
First, it was electricity.
It got so shocking, it became cringy.
It was a nice piece of candy, with an intriguing wrapping,
you took a peek and it came alive. Chasing and haunting.
Too eager to have you taste its sweetness, too eager to have you love its taste.
Later when the obsession died down, you realised it wasn’t the flavour you want.
Then, it was bonfire. It got cold, deep in the woods.
In the dark, you see the fire from afar. Attracted, you closed in.
The fire crackled. Your new favourite sound.
You sat by the fire, telling stories of a warrior, of how she dreams in her town.
Ways to take off her shields and disarm her.
It was too hot. The fire almost melts you with warmth.
So you took off your jacket and moved closer.
It burnt you. You became speechless, as you were the one holding knives, so why were you the one bleedin?
Shortly after, a friend came over to look at those healing stitches.
But the request to show the scars were too absurd. You overreacted.
Leaving you in disgust and you zipped up your jacket.
It was just a scratch on the surface. Yet you felt you were quickly catching up.
No longer the new member on the team. “You learn fast”, they said.
The burden, the distance, the emptiness, left you as you were, as skin heals in seconds.
It just made you more familiar as a player.
Bandage ready, you are set for a new Match.
You made me like dancing
The way you made me feel
We were touching one another
Feeling the rhythm of our favorite songs
There’s nothing I love more than this
That’s what gets to me
The second any country song came on
You grabbed me
And we started dancing
We didn’t care who was around us
We danced and we sung
You made me feel light as a feather
You threw me into the air
And caught me as I came down
You dipped me
You spun me
You swung me
I can’t think of anything I love more
I want to feel that again
I want that touch
Your hands in my hands
Dancing as the night grows old
Swinging to the beat
Getting our boots dusty in the dirt
Making memories in the crisp night’s air
Or in my kitchen
Anywhere with you
You made me feel special
That was swing dancing
Months have gone by, but the pain remains
They said it’ll take time before it fades
Harder and harder I try not to think of you
But thoughts come back of you leaving on that plane
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love again
You have my heart, you took it away
I feel empty and lonely inside
Every hope and dream is shattered within
I don’t understand how you continue to hurt me
We haven’t had communication since
You would think I’d be ready to move on
The thought of you- us will never let me be
I wanted so badly to end up with a ring
To live together happy for eternity
You made me believe this could be real
You took it all from me, my everything
My family took you in as theirs
My brothers looked up to you, though they shouldn’t
It wasn’t more but false hope you gave
You took for granted all their care
You aren’t the same as you once were
But that’s what happens with time
Or is it because you hid the true you
Your mind was a mess, you were never sure
Now I’m the one feeling this way
You’re in my thoughts, my prayers, my dreams
I can’t escape the reality
You’ve done nothing but betray
This delightfully cheerful,
Endlessly beautiful holiday,
Is also so terribly lonely.
Every year I spend it alone,
No Valentine to give my heart to,
And no Valentine gives me their's.
I'm happy for those who
Have found love and
But I can't help but feel
So lonely and sad on this day.
Because the cute couples,
The sweet letters,
And warm cuddling
Just reminds me that
I can't have the one I want.