Because another sips
     Her nectar, Death,
          Today
Please kiss these dusty lips,
     And take my breath
          Away.

Oh, weep for Adonais—he's undead!
    And hath been, lo! these interstitial years!
Yellow and black and pale and hectic red,
    His cockney mood consumptively careers.
Upon a bubbling Hippocrene he's drunk
    And dreaming, standing tiptoe on the brink
Of the wide world that sinks, and will have sunk,
    As love and fame to nothingness do sink.
An anguished autumn wind doth howl a HOWL
    Of abject grief that sweeps the graveyard's stones.
The sickle moon observes the downy owl
    That eats a mouse from tail to skull and bones.
Zombie Allan Poe, who's green and obscene,
Is sobbing, "Happy Birthday Halloween!"

Frisbee flies
Like a UFO.

Aliens hatch.

Blue skies.

A tic-tac-toe
Of them trails
Called chem trails.

A wonky throw—
He makes the catch!

I pick my nose
With all my fingers
And all my toes.

I sniff a rose:
The aroma lingers:
I pick my nose.

Calcium grows
My thingamajingers
And all my toes.

A horseshoe throws
A bunch of ringers:
I pick my nose.

The north wind blows
A flock of wingers
And all my toes.

A sewer sews
With several Singers:
I pick my nose
And all my toes.

G♾D

!hap

pie
e.e.
***

(13
0th)

ming
s' b
irth

day!

There once was a fella from France
Who'd dance a libidinous dance:
     He'd focus the eyes
     Of the club on his thighs,
Then dance himself out of his pants.

There once was a gal from Zumbrota
(A city in Minnemesota)
     Who drank in a bar
     And then got in her car
And crashed it while smoking some mota.

There once was a gal named Alvina,
A registered nurse at a gyne-
     cological practice
     Who brought in a cactus
That jumped on a naked ******.

There once was a **** head named Seth
Who smoked a whole kilo of ****
     And proceeded to beat off
     And beat all his meat off
And methed himself finally to death.

There once was a man from Green Bay
Who made it a habit each day
     To ****** an udder
     While churning his own butter,
Then go for a nap in the hay.

There once was a man from Pawtucket
Who'd eat a whole 18-piece bucket
     Of KFC chicken
     (His fingers a-lickin')
And as for the soda, he'd **** it.

The changing seasons are not more changefull
Then my mistresse; neither more vengefull
Is the wooing autumn wind that sedvceth
A singing mood afore it blasteth
With bitter colde, angry and disdainfull.
Her scorne is lyke a scorpion stinge painfull
In my sad heart wich bleedeth for banefull
Her who presently nowe observeth
          The changing seasons.
Her cruell scorne capricious entiseth
My heart to dispaire; itt dispaireth
Dailye and dieth from disese carefull.
Her scorne doth make my harte most woefull,
And so my smartyng heart despiseth
          The changing seasons.

The scarecrow scares
     The scaredy cat.
The scarecrow stares.
The scarecrow scares
The boy he swears
     (While staring) at.
The scarecrow scares
     The scaredy cat.

There once was a sneezer named Rose
Who'd sneeze to the tips of her toes.
    She once sneezed so heinous
    She puked out her ****
And blew out her brains through her nose.

O Autumn! thou hast splendidly array'd
     Nature, whose robes are treasure-rich with colour.
A patchy quilt of dying leaves decay'd,
     Thou blanketest the world with deathly dolour.
I hear a voice inside my head.  I list.
     "Come buy, come buy," I hear in my mind's ear.
My pulse doth quicken suddenly in my wrist:
     The netherworld hath never been so near.
I harken to the rattling of the leaves
     That hang like vampyre bats from skeletal trees.
The songful birds that nested 'neath the eaves
     Have long since flown away with high degrees.
I'm cold and getting colder, and my breath
Is telling me I'm close to coming Death.

You're in my head; you're in
          Like rabies.
I've got you under my skin,
          Like scabies.  

You're in my heart; you're heart-
          Attacking.
You crack me up.  I ****.
          I'm cracking.

Another yellow leaf,
     Another red
Descends like grief on grief.
Another yellow leaf
Whispering, "Life is brief,"
Descends from overhead
Another yellow leaf,
     Another red.

The crow in the tree
    is actually
a black trash bag.

Squeaky bike brakes
      sound like chirping
September crickets.

The bug on the sidewalk
     casts a long shadow:
September sunshine.

I open the front door:
     a fly I didn't know
about flies out.

In the middle of midnight,
     night and morning kiss and part;
parting is such sweet sorrow.

I open the door.
     The sweet fall air comes inside.
          The stink goes outside.

The Sphinx
Methinx
Takes flight
At night.

the fall
     ing leaf
is all
the fall;
i call
     my grief
the fall
     ing leaf

What flowers the X-
ray.  yesterday tomorrows
today and.  And nope (meme)
yup.  Not!  Donald Biden eats
your Tesla has ****** simplex %
ye olde Generation Z
Hi!
i'll sneeze an Earthworm
up your short shirt s Leeve w
Hen you into the mantapede      
                                                 ­         
Go play kickball
          with a nuclear football—
⁵

Abracadabara,
Alfred, Lord Tennyson,
English Victorian
Poet of note,

Beautiful, lyrical,
Somber with gravitas,
Superpoetical
Poetry wrote.

Emily shmemily,
Emily Dickinson,
Recluse and poetess,
Rendered her rhyme

Idiosyncrously,
Much of her poetry
Reading most cryptically
Much of the time.

Reinbert de Leeuw
Should've given Aldo Ciccolini a lesson or two
On how to play
Satie the right way.

Moo Deng
Is too deng
Adorable,
And if you disagree with me (about anything) then you're
          terrible, horrible, torrible and—******!—just absolutely
          ******* deplorable!

Wither the flowers
     In country lanes
As Autumn lours.
Wither the flowers
And daylight hours.
     As Summer wanes,
Wither the flowers
     In country lanes.

Megyn Kelly
Has a flat belly,
And is as hot
As Oprah is not.

John Milton,
The Paris Hilton
Of 17th century English puritanical verse,
Never (as far as I know) dressed as a **** nurse.

Robert Herrick,
Poet and cleric,
Wrote numbers that were noble
When they weren't ignoble.

Ogden Nash
May or may not have danced the Monster Mash
While thinking
In rhyme and drinking.

Little Bo Peep
Has lost her sheep.
The big bad wolf is full
And sleeping on a bed of wool.

Lyin' Joseph Robinette Biden
Is hidin'
From the press
Who couldn't care less.

this #is #a #pome
#e #t #iphone #home

Robert Herrick:
Poet, cleric,
Pagan, priest,
Long-deceased.

summer's last full moon:
     silent trees, a grassy hill,
          crickets, black & white

Father God
Doesn't spare the rod
Or spoil
Any boi or goil.

Donald Trump
******* King Chump,
And now he's gonna take down
Queen Clown.

Robert Frost
Loved and lost
Much
But never lost his touch.

Adolf ******
Was a lot littler
Than most Aryan brothers
And their mothers.

John Keats
Coughed tuberculosis all over his sheets
And died at 25
And remains unalive.

Edgar Allan Poe
Never wrote a poem about a crow,
But he did write a poem about a misbehavin'
Raven.

Edmund Clerihew Bentley
Invented an eminently
Humorous verse form
Which is also a terse form.

thou art
more fair     than a red apple
beneath the legs
      of an enormous fly

      thou art more
fragrant than
fresh     blacktop on a
hot summer's day

thou
art more free
      than a      penguin flying
a spaceship with fun bumperstickers

waken thou with me

Dyslexia
dyslexiA
Dylsexia
dilsexyA
DaYslXei
dEiYsLXa
DxeylSai
diExAlyS
aiXeLSyD
diExAlyS
DxeylSai
dEiYsLXa
DaYslXei
dilsexyA
Dylsexia
d­yslexiA
Dyslexia

this poem identifies
as a block of cheese

its pronouns (today)
are whem and whey