I swear, my parents act like they were never teens in a pandemic growing up.

I was watching “Perry Mason,” an HBO show set in the 1930s. Perry gets mail out of his mailbox and I think “no GLOVES??” This pandemic has a hold of me.

6:30am  I’m finishing my shower - wrapping my hair in a towel.
Mom: from my room “I have something for you!”
Me: “OK.” (I’m curious)
I step out of the shower, wrap on a towel, and my mom steps up and gives me a flu shot without so much as a “by your leave.”  Dr. Surprise strikes again.
My arm hurts  =/

Writing a paper, on my computer, in class - I try to use the perfect word but I spell it so badly the spell checker gives up and in effect, says “I got nothin’.” I switch words.

Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to put a cat in a tub.
My parents think every guy I talk to is my boyfriend.
If I’m texting and smiling my parents think I have a boyfriend.
I say, I don’t know” when I don’t care.

For ALL of its downsides virtual school is better because:
  My two BFF and I have a facetime call going ALL school day so
    we can say snarky things about everyone..
  I can listen to music on my headphones during classes.
  I have multiple screens so I can web-surf during classes.
  I don’t have to wear shoes or a skirt!
  I can put a video up so it looks like I’m paying attention.
  I can snack/take a bathroom break whenever I want to.
  I don’t have to carry a backpack or make locker stops.
  I can be late or leave early and blame it on “tech issues”.

it's flu season.
my mind is racing.
my ears are screaming.

Looking Up   Locking Down

When is a lockdown not a lockdown?
When is a pandemic running its course?
Looking up, I see beautiful days, sunshine and flowers,
Clouds nowhere to seen in clear blue sky
But the warm soft air is full of danger.

So too, we are told, is being less than two metres
From a stranger.
No pleasant smiles or Good Mornings -
We cross the road, step into stranger’s driveways
Anything to avoid closing the gap,
getting too close to a fellow human.

I am dehumanized. Unhappy at the fear people have
At the sight of me
And the fear my children and grandchildren have
At the thought of a visit, which once brought joy
With (now forbidden) hugs.

Not long now say the country’s masters
Soon we’ll unlock the lock
But will we ever again feel trust and ease
In our restored freedoms?
How strange to hug and smile a greeting
When its been so long since our last meeting.

AEB April 2020

Funny how soon normal creeps up on us                  
and clears away the strangeness
with each sweep of the broom.  
                    
The sky looks the same as it did,
we walk, side by side, as we did.
And the death toll mounts, the police checks grow

We can measure metres without a rule
(though we did feet and inches when at school)
We learn to use Whatsapp and Skype,
 just to see our families’ faces.
 then we disinfect our phones, wipe away the traces.

We’re told to wash our hands for twenty secs
and obedience – unnatural – is what the world expects.
Strangers shop for strangers and an obedient population
applauds an institution on demand, at a given time

Then we go back into our houses
close the windows, lockdown the doors
consider the unseen enemy, and, once again,

                          mop the floors.

You are 5
You have your whole life ahead of you
Hospital
Please don't go
I would be gone if you weren’t here
I didn't want you to find me after
I can't imagine my life without you
Flu
A horrible word
An unacceptable word
Sent from hell
Torture
Crying my lungs out
Coughing
Face red
Mascara running
Am I mad?
I yell
I LOVE YOU
GET BETTER
I'M SORRY
And say “no” until it isn’t a word
Rocking on my bathroom floor
DO NOT LEAVE ME
He has to be ok
He is my world
My everything
I can't stop the racing
Screaming my stomach into my head
Crying until I only have blood to cry
HE CAN'T LEAVE ME
Please reconsider

Me and apple cidar vinegar well, let's just say it's a long story when a bout of the flu for literally a fortnight, and Shakespeare's lines came to the 'fore...


(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCXIII)


Where Shakespeare would drink, sans complaint, t'avail
Lo, "...potions of [yes!] eysel 'gainst--" what thence?
"...My strong infection--" nor think that defense
Too much, I'm churning still from in betrayl
Erm, taking just that--not cuz I regale
The world with naughty plays as he did, whence
His closest friends chid Will, whereat he'd sense
That slight of character and yield--my bail?
Tis as he said, but oh! in truth, not fer
Some metaphor played out t'effect to do
His penance good--"do ye with fortune [to
Be sure it's tongue in cheek] chide--" cuz in poor
'Scuse paying the bills meant theatre as twere.
Yet my case is this fortnight flu I rue.

15Feb19c

as soon you as you walked through the door
i could see you were not feeling well
you rushed into my arms
buried your head in my chest
and started to cry

i wrapped my arms around you
hugged you tight
pressed you near

your cries turned to sobs
i kissed your temple, your hair
“what’s wrong,” i asked
“i not feeling well, i’m coming down with the flu,” you replied
“i’ll take care of you Minou,” i whispered softly in your ear

i took your hand
lead you to the couch
laid you down

i removed your shoes
covered you
gently stroked your hair

“i’ll make you some peppermint tea with honey,” i said
i turned on the tv
flipped to your favorite netflix show
started the tea

the water boiled
i steeped the bag
brought you the cup
laid it on the table

you were falling asleep
i snuggled up along side of you
warm and cozy under the covers

you cuddled up
a leg across my hip
your head on my chest
you hair tickled my nose
i patted it down
slightly away

i petted
caressed your hair
savoring your scent
your smell

i held you in my arms
sensing your breath
feeling your heartbeat
slowly, you drifted asleep
muscles relaxing
inhaling, exhaling deeply, gently

i held you dear
protecting, providing, nurturing, nursing you

you are my partner
my lover
my wife
but tonight you are my child

you mumbled in your sleep
wiped your nose on my shirt
drooled a tad

you were congested
your breath wheezed
you snored a bit
i loved you more

i never felt like a man
this intensely
caring, tending, loving his wife, his Minou