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Nina May 25
I spent my entire life
Getting hurt

Being mistreated
Used

Pain?
What's that
I've gotten so used
To all the bruises
To all the bleedings
I've gotten used to the verbal abuse
Emotional pain
And mental effect

Nothing can hurt my anymore
In fact
I've found comfort in pain

So hurt me
Like how people hurt people
Hurt me
It does not matter anymore
I will still hurt myself
At the end of the day
Pain keeps be safe
Pain makes me sane
Anaya c Dec 2018
i am absent with myself
because i am too busy
fulfilling the needs
of other people
i am emptying myself to fill you
bakunawa Apr 2018
----flashes----
           explicit beauty...
                expressive beauty...
                    destructive beauty...
   you still look so angsty
       staring into my eyes
               sating my thirst
             hearing my cries
                                ----listen----
cold hand of abuse
         hand of love
         hand of loathing
         hand of passion
                  so many words
                  to  call them
                  but they are my hands
                  guided by yours----
                           creeping down
                           worn out pants...
                              ----flashes----
          ­   your eyes
             your lips
             your chest
             your...
                your...
                  your...
      i­t was never just
      your body that I liked
                      your hands...
              up---down---up---down
                    ­    way you graze me
                    softly, slowly, gently.
                            ----listen----
           everything moves in flashes
                just like before---
                          how you bite your lips
                          how i catch my breath
                   how you lean in forward to whisper
              ----love me
              ----love me
                                 ----love me
                                 ----love me
                                 slowly getting
                                 louder...
                                 stronger...
                                 wilder...
                      just like the old times----
              ----love me----
        the way i think of other things...
        just to slow down the time
        then i try my saddest to stop it...
             because i just know it's the end
                                              if i do it now.
                            ----flashes----
                ­     this is where i belong
                              inside you
                             ----listen----  
                   this is where you belong
                              in my eyes
                            ----flashes----
                ­                      .
                                      .
 ­                                     ?
                          ­            !
                                      !
           ­                                                               it­ feels
                                                           ­                damp
                                       your face tells me victory
           but your cries tell me you're in shambles
           Could have noticed it before----
                            ----listen----
           ­     now it feels more like moans of defeat
                                                        mo­re than of joy
                     so this is how you felt like?
           my hand covered
           in what you slathered yourself in
                              night
                          ­    after
                              night
                   ­           after
                              night
            ­                            disgusting.
                i'm not catching my breath
                after an extreme ride in disneyland
                          it's more like taking a breather
                          after foolishly running away
        as i look the empty space
        beside my bed
        the photograph of you
        half drenched in my sweat
                 it's not passion
                                            it's just dread----
             and shame
             and pain
             and longing
             and regret
         as i walk you down the isle
         to the drawer where you belong---
the flashes would end
for the night
                       until the next
       and your ghost
       again whispers
       closely beside me
                  listen---
----love me.
     ----love me.
          ----love me.
               ----love me.
                    ----love me.
                         ----love me.
                              ----love me.
                                   ----love me.
                                        ----love me.
                                             ----love me.
                                                  ----love me.
                                                       ----love me.
                                                            -­---love me.
                                                             ­    ----love me..
challenge: explicitly sensual by imai; title taken from imai

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