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FloydBrandon Dec 2019
Big Top Cruisin' Freak Show Humans
Orchestrating Mass Confusion
Freedom Pleasing People Unions
Subsequently Crash Into Them,
Petrol Hoarding Leather Goblins,
Building Homes They're Paid To Rob
From Bigfoot Truthing ****** Loser
Tightrope Walking Mine Defusers.

Performers Of The Great Parade,
It's Storming Clowns On California
Pouring Bears In Maine,
Taking Stages Captivating
Trapping Kids In Lion Cages.
Uncle Sammy's Hat Is Full Of
Peanut Roasting Gophers
Toting Automatic
Pigeon Feeding
Battle Ready

We The Wild People
Take These Truths
And Hold Them Proofless,
On Glory To
We Glorious Few,
Cheering, "Circus-Circus!"
Poetress2 Mar 2019
My cruel, grouchy old Mother-In-Law,
is a sight for sore eyes to see;
Save your money at the Circus,
'cause to look at her is free.
She's really not that hideous,
in her very own, special way;
What hair that hasn't fallen out,
has certainly turned gray.
But dare you have to live with her,
she becomes an old Batalax;
Yet she always feels much better,
when she gets her Mustache waxed.
She does have a few, good qualities,
but overall, she's awfully mean;
That's why for Christmas this year,
we bought her Vaseline.
We greased up her 'ole toilet stool,
then we greased it up some more;
She slipped right off, and hit her head,
and her teeth slid under the door.
She didn't care for that at all,
no sir, not one little bit;
For when she fell, her wig flew off,
and she cut her bottom lip.
But I guess we're cruel to her as well,
for we never allow her to date;
When night time comes, we lock her up,
'lest Bigfoot wants to mate.
I could go on for days on end,
about how bad she's been;
But now I have to stop right here,
'cause there's no ink left in my pen!
This is my Mother-In-Law's favorite poem I wrote about her.  She carries a copy in her purse, and reads it to strangers.  Lots of love Mom.
Poetress2 Mar 2019
My Mother-In-Law lives with me,
and boy does she need some help;
She doesn't brush her hair anymore,
she's given up on herself.
Her outlook is mostly negative,
for she sees no good at all;
I which she was a Horse,
so I could put her in a Stall.
I cringe whenever she wants to cook,
for a Pancake she can't even flip;
I'd love to take her for a ride,
and push her off of a cliff.
She's become a bit, "Man Crazy,"
she'd take anyone who can breath;
So I took her to a Nursing Home,
she replied, "Too old for me."
I began to feel quite sorry for her,
so a "Blind Date" I one day arranged;
He brought her home, 'fore ten p.m.,
and said "She was much too strange."
Her bleach-blonde wig kept slipping,
and her teeth, they wouldn't stay in;
I believe she doesn't stand a chance,
of finding a date, e'er again.
She has no taste in men,
so I never allow her to date;
I keep her hidden inside all day,
'less Bigfoot wants to mate.
It seems I'm truly stuck with her,
so I'll take the good with the bad;
For she has a never-ending love,
that I am so blessed to have.
I truly love her.  She loves it when I write insulting poems about her.
Dakota J Dawson Jan 2018
By the way
To all the cryptic beings
Find a place in my heart

Away from the public
Toward the evening dawn
Bordering the bright blue sea

There you will find grain
Possibly wet sand
Coconuts by the dozen

Enough pleasure
Just the right amount
For a hairy beast

Sadly, it is all lies
A hairy beast
Coconuts in the sea

This poem means nothing
Really that's the point
It really is cynical
Samantha Dec 2017
There are many things
We don't know are real.
From scientific theories
To the forever concealed.
What could be false,
And what could be true?
If you were to ask me,
Humanity never knew.

First up in my list are pretty unicorns,
With majestic manes and glittery horns.
Nobody's ever found one, maybe nobody will
But that won't stop some from trying, still.

Next on the list is maybe the ghosts,
Transparent and spirited, the one of which most
People believe in, but I am not sure
If they can be real. We'll keep searching for more.

Third one's the charm, please meet Bigfoot!
Is he really as real as the fireplace soot?
But if you're a hunter, please beware,
Killing him's illegal in Washington... how rare!

Mermaids are next, at the fourth spot.
When it comes to my reasons, I know quite a lot.
5% of the oceans is all we've explored,
So they might be out there, trapped forevermore.

Last but not least, and this statement's quite bold:
We can never prove the existence of the soul.
What does it look like? Where does it go?
Those are some things I'd like to know.

There are many things
We don't know are real.
From scientific theories
To the forever concealed.
What could be false,
And what could be true?
If you were to ask me,
Humanity never knew.
You can't prove something to not exist.
I know a guy who goes by "Bigfoot."
   I think he fits the name.
And I would bet a pickled pigfoot
   That you would feel the same.

A connoisseur of odors foul,
   I've smelled some awful feet;
And I would bet my lower bowel
   That Bigfoot's can't be beat.
Arlo Disarray May 2015
What a fan-*******-tastic day it's been
I'm so happy, I could scream
I was hoping for a nightmare, but I only got a dream

And my dream was full of meadows, flowing streams and singing birds
But I hated all their songs
because they didn't have words

******* birds and your lousy chirping
I'd rather hear the alphabet from a drunk guy burping
So quit your constant squawking, I don't think you're pretty
Your singing is like car horns honking in the city

Waking back up from my hellish dream
I tripped down a hill and fell in a stream
I couldn't see because of the fog
So I grabbed onto Bigfoot, thinking he was a log

And as the sun shone its rays down onto my skin
I screamed at the sky "God, where have you been?"
But alas, still no answer. Still no sign of light
I'll believe God exists the day he's in my sight

For now, Mr. Sunshine, stay out of my sight
I'm done with your false face shining so bright
Last time I saw you, my eyes caught on fire
Now I am blind, and my pupils expired

Fan-*******-tastic, this whole day has been
I wish I could live it again and again
I just can't stop smiling, I just can't quit grinning
Let's start this great day over from the beginning!
Arlo Disarray Apr 2015
Dear Bigfoot,

Thank you for allowing me to live after I killed your son.

Thank you for showing me that my way is right and everyone else is evil and must be saved.

Thank you for making me hate anyone who is different from me, but I'll still tell everyone else to love thy neighbor.

Thank you for terrifying me into loving you. For shoving your ideas down my throat and telling me I'll burn if I think for myself.

Thank you, Bigfoot, for being the horrible monster that we all love and adore so much because we're afraid not to.

Thank you, for being a *******.

Thank you for modeling us after your image so we could be hideous and evil.

Thank you for creating misery and death.

My little "*******" to the religious folks who think their way is the only way.

For those who hate homosexuals.

For those who feel superior.
Arlo Disarray Apr 2015
If you want to bathe in your delusions, I don't mind
But I'd rather smell like **** than listen to your spit
So keep your holy water to yourself
Because it ******* burns when you flick it on me

All hail the Almighty Bigfoot!

He is my favorite urban legend

He seems like a much nicer fairytale character than your God
With love and smooches, dear.


Arlo Disarray Apr 2015
I believe in Bigfoot
I believe he created us in his image
I believe that Little Bigfoot died on a cross and became a zombie on Easter
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