I feel like I am
Nonstop laughs, sparkling smiles,
but deeper still, my soul is rotting
running out of words to say,
there is emptiness in my mind,
and there is a cold beyond.
feeling down, feeling up,
up and down down and up,
round and around,
pills, blades, glinting back at me like my grandmother's pearls,
and i think:
what is happiness when there is something weighing down your smile?
My thoughts are laced with poison
i can't even sleep.
I wake up at noon and go back to sleep at 4am
I'm dead tired.
inarticulate, misunderstood, confusing, depressing, weird, crooked, I am feeling down