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My control became a variable.
My stability became improbable.
Please come back
Amanda May 14
I am afraid I'll be sad forever
Nothing brings out a smile
When I am down I often forget
It is only for a while
I am scared I'll never be fixed
My broken heart will never mend
When it's aching it feels like
Pain might not ever come to an end
I fear my instability
Urges to make a deep incision
Temporary emotions pushing me
Towards a permanent decision
Never make permanent choices based on temporary feelings
Infinity Sep 2017
I've used up all my bandaids
And lost them all

My days compare
to a rollercoaster's rise and fall

Rather than the steady trail of a train

Where are all my bandages? I cant find them
I used them for my wounds
But they disappeared

The cuts burn
And the bruises bleed

I no longer care

I have no bandages and no bandaids
I can't complain
The wounds are self-inflicted
I relish the pain

It's alright
The wounds are a work of art
Emotional
Delusional
Dysfunctionally comfortable

But what good is a bandaid
To a broken soul
A painkiller
To a faulty heart
What good is a smile
To hidden tears?
Infinity Aug 2017
You give me the good ol' blues

I took you for the happy feels but the happy feels done gone

I'm close to tears again
It's not you
I'm just broken

Maybe I shouldn't have done what I just did

I took two ibuprofens
And two codeine pills

Yes I was in pain
But not the kind you think
I was suffocating
And needed to wash them down
With an ice cold drink

But now I'm numbing
The pressure subsided
I am a little lightheaded
It's not what I wanted

**** I shouldn't have done that
There's a slight thumping in my right temple
Hey?! Arent you supposed to be a painkiller?

I took you for the happy feels
Where the happy feels at?
I'm still broken, nauseous, and sad

I took you for the happy feels
But baby you give me the blues
My fork shakes as I hand it to you

Honey dont leave me
I'm lost and confused

I took you for the happy feels
But you gave me the blues

Baby baby, im red yellow and blue

Im listening to sad songs, singing the blues

Baby dont let me cry
I'm hurting

I feel each beat of my heart, pumping

You were my happy pill
Now I'm just lost and confused

I took you for the happy feels
But all you made me was blue.
There's a lot of repetition in this one. And it sort of has a double meaning.
Anders Thompson Mar 2017
If there is not a solution, a transfusion, a deliverance
Then may Death’s sweet kiss deliver me from this.
I will not be alive trapped in my mind:
Hell is empty, they put the devils here
For me to unwind.
Beatriz M Feb 2017
We spend our whole life
Trying to fit into a solid ground.
But perhaps we're like the ocean
And our waves
Cannot be tamed.
mika May 2016
I feel like I am
going insane.

Nonstop laughs, sparkling smiles,
but deeper still, my soul is rotting
I am
running out of words to say,
there is emptiness in my mind,
and there is a cold beyond.

I am
feeling down, feeling up,
up and down down and up,
round and around,
i think:
pills, blades, glinting back at me like my grandmother's pearls,
and i think:
what is happiness when there is something weighing down your smile?

My thoughts are laced with poison
i can't even sleep.
I wake up at noon and go back to sleep at 4am
I'm dead tired.

I am
awake
asleep half-awake
inarticulate, misunderstood, confusing, depressing, weird, crooked, I am feeling down
feeling up
I am
going insane
AnnaMarie Jenema Feb 2016
A house is built for shelter and care,
Created from the Earth to bring stability into a home.
It is unwavering and sure.
...
Or is it really?
Years later,
will this house still stand?
Change is like a house,
it's foundation will crumble,
and with it the walls,
and with it the roof.
Can a home really be stable,
Created on such a basis?
Each good home falls,
and with it a family.
They will leave,
They will die.
The house will become unrecognizable.
And with it, The foundation will crumble.
"It is better to have an Ark" Ruth from Housekeeping says. this book seems to bring with it interesting insights.
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