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3.3k · Feb 2017
You Are My Home.
elizabeth Feb 2017
Home.

A single word can fill you
With a thousand feelings
And memories.
Some are warm, happy,
Fuzzy feelings that you enjoy;
Others... not so much.
Yelling, pain, insults;
Dysfunction, blame, guilt.
But "family" is not always
The same thing as *
home.**
Sometimes home is a person,
Who makes you feel loved.
They make you feel wanted
And secure in their embrace.
They give you those happy, fuzzy
Feelings and light thoughts
On your dark days.
And you, my friend...
You are home to me.
February 25, 2017.
Inspired by some of friends that have helped me through my hardest times. Thank you Mer and Will. If you ever see this, know that I love you both so much.
3.0k · Jan 2017
I Wish I Knew...
elizabeth Jan 2017
I wish I knew
How not to be sad.
How not to be angry,
And how not to feel pain.

I wish I knew
How to be happy.
How to enjoy life,
And how to leave the past behind.

I wish I knew
How to trust.
How to love myself,
And how to forget the harm.

I wish I knew
How to open up.
How to fight the dark,
And how to get rid of anger.

I wish I knew that
Not everyone is nice.
Not everyone wants to be friends,
And not everyone is kind.

I wish I knew that
Not all things are free.
Not all love is real,
And not all hope is true.

I wish I knew that
Not everything is joyful.
Not everything is beautiful,
And not everything is light.

I wish I knew that
Memories don't fade.
That words sting,
And scar for life.

I wish I knew
That my skies wouldn't clear.
That my demons would win,
And that I would give in to the darkness.
December 31, 2016.
elizabeth Mar 2017
Like many things in life,
Problems occur.
Problems which we are
Meant to learn from.

Like many things in life,
Difficulties arise.
Difficulties that we can
All overcome together.


For better or for worse
the latter is more common,
for worse happens way too often,
the problems we face don't fade.

We live in this prison called life
difficulties arise as we slowly walk
to our demise,we fill our minds
that there are ways we can escape.



The hardships of life
Are only a small part of the
Vivid painting that is life.
We are the complete image.

Though we may have tears,
Rips, piercings, and smudges,
We are still full of wonder and
Our minds are full of light.


**We embrace the order
we border on uniformity
awfully we are digging ourselves
in shelves of debt and depression.

Life is a vivid painting,
staining the realisation that death,
that the last breath taken
and the needless pain is imminent.
March 5, 2017.
This is a collab I did with Gregory Dun Aer. The regular font is the optimist, the bolded is the pessimist. Gregory wrote the pessimistic side, I wrote the other.
2.7k · Mar 2016
I'm Sick
elizabeth Mar 2016
I’m sick of you not trusting me.
I’m sick of trying to be perfect.
I’m sick of your standards.
I’m sick of being compared.
I’m sick of being tired.
I’m sick of hating myself.
I’m sick of not feeling good enough.
I’m sick of myself.
I’m sick of being judged.
I’m sick of being a disappointment.
I’m sick of feeling guilty.
I’m sick of feeling ashamed.
I’m sick of the looks I get.
I’m sick of being blamed for everything.
I’m sick of feeling unloved.
I'm sick of living.
I’m just… sick.
I think we're all a little sick, in one way or another.
2.1k · Mar 2017
My Story.
elizabeth Mar 2017
Tragedy struck
At just age 13.
My innocence-
Murdered in the rain.
Not the physical rain,
But the rain of my tears.
My story is different,
But just as terrible.
He stole the beauty
Of my soul and heart...
Leaving me dark and alone.
He ripped my confidence
Away with a single tear.
"I love you."
The lie he told
Has made me unable
To be loved.
"You're so beautiful..."
Another lie he told
Has made me unable
To believe this truth.
He ruined my beautiful,
White wings from God.
He replaced them with
Skeletal outlines of what
Once was.
My lovely face has been
Scarred by the streaming
Tears down my face.
Clawing at my skin,
I try to wash away the guilt.
"But the guilt is not yours."
They say.
"It isn't your fault."
"It isn't your fault
That he is an evil man.
It isn't your fault
That he targeted you.
It isn't your fault
That he took advantage
Of a little, naive girl.
It isn't your fault.
It isn't your fault.
It isn't your fault.
*It is not your fault, Elizabeth."
March 1, 2017.
My story is a different one, and it was very difficult to write this piece as it brought back a lot of terrible  memories. But it's only different in that, I didn't actually meet up with what turned out to be a 50 year old man. Most girls end up meeting them and having terrible things happen to them. And I am so sorry for that. I'm sorry someone stole your innocence, beautiful girls.
My story is this:
I was targeted online by a ******* at 13 years old. He told me all kinds of lies and I agreed to be his "girlfriend". He was sweet at first, saying he was 18 and he couldn't wait to see me, etc. But they all start out sweet. He began talking explicitly to me, and I complied and said the same things in the messages. A decision I regret to this day. My parents found out I was speaking to someone online, and the police were called. Three years later, after trials and fighting with him and his lawyers, he is finally in prison. But he has left me with scars and demons that haunt me every day.
My depression, anxiety, and minor PTSD have stemmed from this situation. And my mental issues may be worse than that.
I was inspired to write this out because of John Baverstock's poem "Jamie's Story". So thank you for that.
I hope you will not judge me for this.
2.0k · Dec 2016
Pain and Hope (short poem)
elizabeth Dec 2016
"Pain is real,
But so is hope."
This is a wonderful
Little quote.
Except,*
I only seem
To feel pain
When I hope.
December 21, 2016
1.9k · Nov 2016
Falling
elizabeth Nov 2016
I'm falling down,
                        down,
                             down;
                                And I know not where.
                                  All I know is that
                                     *I'm glad you're here.
November 11, 2016
1.5k · Sep 2016
They Care Not
elizabeth Sep 2016
They care not
For what I can be,
Only for what I am.

*And what I am
Is nothing good.
September 19, 2016
1.5k · Mar 2016
Balloon
elizabeth Mar 2016
I watched my balloon
float far away;
up and up above
the trees that sway.
It soon floated right
out of view;
My balloon had dreams,
so away it flew.
It went straight up,
left, then right!
The wind pushed it
out of my sight.
I fear I shall not
see my balloon again;
My poor balloon
was my only friend.
elizabeth Feb 2017
My body is your
Instrument; so please, play the
Music of my soul.
February 11, 2017.
1.4k · Oct 2016
Depression Has a Hold On Me
elizabeth Oct 2016
It's hard to get along
In life when Depression's
Hold on me is so strong.
Holding me under and
Causing me to drown
In my own thoughts of
Worthlessness, shame,
Pain, harm, death, sadness.
They're overwhelming.
I can't sleep, can't breathe;
It's begun to affect
My relationships;
It's hurt me more times
Than I can count.
It causes other conditions
Like anxiety and OCD;
Which in turn causes
My Dermotillomania
And over-analyzing
Ways of thinking.
I'm so tired of it.
I just want to sleep forever;
Lay in his arms
And just fly away into
A beautiful dream for
All of eternity.
Please, I'm so tired.
Please, I beg you,
Let me have peace and rest.
*I'm...
So....
Tired....
October 14th, 2016
elizabeth Feb 2017
Oh, the darkness overwhelms
Every minute I'm sinking deeper
It's hard to see the light
When your thoughts are black as night

But then I see your face
An' the shadows dissipate
An' I'm not so alone
You're the one I've been waiting for

Now you've opened up the door
To my sad and scarred soul
An' I'm so thankful
You're the one I've been waiting for
February 21, 2017.
Thinking about turning this into a song. What do you think?
1.2k · Oct 2016
Sensitivity
elizabeth Oct 2016
The radio is so loud;
My father's voice sounds
Like thunder.
The car is too squeaky;
The cat meowing sounds
Like an obnoxious alarm.
My own thoughts are too noisy;
My voice sounds
Like waves pounding on the shore.
It's like someone turned my
Sensitivity levels all the way up;
Like some form of torture.
October 21, 2016
1.2k · Feb 2017
The Trauma
elizabeth Feb 2017
The anger screams at
My mind.
The pain rips apart
My soul.
The shame hides
My face.
The sadness climbs down
My cheeks.
The trauma reminds me
Every day.
February 21, 2017.
elizabeth Jan 2017
I talk to myself;
It scares me how much I do...
Maybe I need help.
January 7, 2017.
I talk to myself a lot, and imagine whole scenarios and conversations. Is that normal? I do it a lot when I'm alone. And the more I talk, the faster my mind races. The faster my mind races, the faster I talk, and so on and so forth. It scares me a bit..
1.2k · Feb 2017
Old Friends (senryuu)
elizabeth Feb 2017
I cannot even
Begin to tell you how much
I've missed our friendship.
February 19, 2017.
I recently contacted a friend I haven't spoken to in a long time, and we ended up talking until 2am last night. I've missed him and his friendship so much, and I honestly hope I don't lose him again.
1.1k · Sep 2016
Long Distance Relationship
elizabeth Sep 2016
I don't think anyone
Truly realizes how hard
A long distance relationship is;
At least, not until
They're in one.
September 19, 2016
elizabeth Dec 2016
Please forgive me, Star.
I seem to have spammed you with
Notifications.
December 22, 2016.
I may have gone a little "like" and "share" crazy with Star Gazer's work. Sorry not sorry.
1.1k · Mar 2017
Especially Me
elizabeth Mar 2017
The fog in my mind
Thickens with each
Thought that runs through.
The darkness seems so
Endless; like the abyss
Of the ocean was shoved
Inside my head and remained
There for the rest of my days.
It is hard to see light
Ahead of me now.
It is hard to see through
The terribly dense fog.
It is even hard to see that
Anything matters.
**Especially me.
March 7, 2017.
1.1k · Nov 2016
Love
elizabeth Nov 2016
Claiming you love me;
Yet you insult, yell
And emotionally abuse me.
If that's what love is,
Then I want none of it.
November 4, 2016
Thanks, Dad, for all the love.
1.1k · Feb 2017
Playtime
elizabeth Feb 2017
Loud voices in
My head;
Whisperings 'neath
My bed.
The monsters have come out
To play;
Please, let this darkness turn
To day.
February 20, 2017.
997 · Mar 2017
Betrayal.
elizabeth Mar 2017
The tool of liars and cheats.
The maker of trust issues.
March 1, 2017.
990 · Apr 2016
Stars
elizabeth Apr 2016
Her eyes used to have this sparkle;
like stars twinkling in the night sky.
But now, all you see is the glisten
of her tears that roll down her cheeks.
April 20, 2016
elizabeth Dec 2016
Colors, beauty, and hope.
Wonder, love, and light.
Life, songs, and joy.
These are all things
You will find in
My Terribly Beautiful Mind.
The most intricate stories,
Wonderful songs,
The happiest memories.
All these things you will find
In My Terribly Beautiful Mind.

However.
There is a darker side.

Loneliness, death, and pain.
Hatred, insecurities, and sorrow.
Darkness, shame, and harm.
These are all things
You will find in
The Beautifully Terrible Thoughts.
The most descriptive methods of suicide,
Horrible pain,
The saddest of cries.
All these things you will find
In the Beautifully Terrible Thoughts
That are a part of me.
December 21, 2016.
926 · Sep 2016
Endless Oblivion
elizabeth Sep 2016
I feel powerless,
Stupid;
Like a *****,
Like a fool.

I feel hopeless,
Helpless;
Like a burden,
Like a disappointment.

I feel awful,
Tired;
Like I want to slip
Away into the endless oblivion.
September 28, 2016
915 · Dec 2016
My Demons Speak To Me
elizabeth Dec 2016
Why don't you just die?
No. Stop it.
Why don't you **** yourself?
Stop. Now.
You're nothing but a *****.
No, I'm not. Stop it.
They don't love you.
Yes, they do. Shut up.
He doesn't want you.
Yes, he does. He said he did. Stop.
Slit your wrist, *****.
Stop it. Don't say that.
Nobody cares about you.
Yes, they do! Stop saying these things!
Just grab the gun...
No, I won't!
Put a bullet through you stupid brain.
No. I won't. I can't.
You coward. You're nothing but a ****.
I am not... Stop, please...
You deserved to have that man use you.
No, stop it.. Please...
You stupid *****, no one loves you.
Please... I'm begging you...
That's right. Go cry, stupid *****.
I'm sorry...
You should be, ****.
I'm so sorry...
Stop saying that, you'll never be forgiven.
I'm so terribly sorry...
Why do you keep saying-
BANG!
Wh-what happened?
Silence.
Hello? You there?
Silence.
Wait! You can't go!
What about your friends and family?
Your boyfriend?
Your future was so bright,
But... But I darkened it.
Myself and the other demons...
We killed you.
We harmed you.
We brought you pain.
It's all our fault.
And now it's too late
To even say that we're sorry...
We're so sorry...
I'm so sorry...
Goodbye, Liza.
December 22, 2016.
Had an idea to personify my thoughts/demons, and show a conversation of sorts. I'm not going to **** myself, but I do have thoughts such as these.
913 · Jan 2017
My Doll-Face Hides My Pain
elizabeth Jan 2017
Someone please, help me.
I'm in little broken pieces
On the ground.
Like a doll,
Angrily thrown by
A grieving mother;
A mother that lost her little girl.
I am that little girl, I suppose.
In some form or another,
My mother has lost me;
So has my father,
And my sisters and friends.
They don't know where
The happy, lovely me went.
I've been replaced by pain,
Depression, and dark thoughts.
I wear a painted face,
Just like a doll,
That hides my pain and sorrow.
I don't want them disappointed
In the new me;
The one that has consumed
All of the good and love,
And replaced it with harm and anger.
Someone please, I'm begging you.
Shatter me against the wall.
Make me the target,
Because I deserve it.
December 31, 2016.
904 · Jan 2017
Sometimes I Wish You Would
elizabeth Jan 2017
Sometimes I wish you would
Hit me and kick me,
Make me beg for mercy,
And torture me forever.

Sometimes I wish you would
Beat me until I'm numb,
Make me cry out,
Cut me until I can't bleed anymore...

Sometimes I wish you would
Use my body,
Give me everything I deserve,
And tear me apart...

Sometimes I wish you would
Just throw me through a wall,
Break every bone,
Make my tears stream into my wounds...

Because that would be
So much easier than
Sitting here and
Watching you be with her.
January 7, 2017.
884 · Sep 2016
Companions (senryuu)
elizabeth Sep 2016
With my companions,
Depression and Nightmares, I
Am never alone.
September 20, 2016
880 · Feb 2017
Nokia
elizabeth Feb 2017
Writing is my outlet,
My emotions are the charger.
I am an old Nokia.
I have endured pain
And hardships in life.
I have watched everyone
Else advance while I am
Left behind.
Everyone remembers me,
But no one really cares anymore.
Everyone knows who I am,
But no one wants me.
I'm no longer good enough.
February 18, 2017.
Late night tonight. Can't really sleep. These are the weird thoughts that run through my head. Maybe instead of watching YouTube late at night when I can't sleep, I'll post poetry and read it the next day.... And then take it down because it's probably weird as ****.
Anyways, goodnight all. Sweet dreams.
852 · Aug 2016
Please...
elizabeth Aug 2016
Tears running down my face,
my worst fear
has come to life.

Terrified...
Shaking...
Too many thoughts...
Please...
Help me...

I don't want to face him;
my Violator,
my Terrorizer,
my own personal Nightmare.

Please...
Don't make me go...
I don't want to..
Wake me up...

I can't go up.
I can't.
Don't want to.
Don't make me.
I'm like a little girl;
I am a little girl.
Please don't make me.

Please...
I can't breathe...
Wake me up...

*Please
August 19, 2016.
Wake me from this nightmare. Please. Someone... Help me.
elizabeth Mar 2016
You're funny,
I'm funny,
We're quite a humorous pair;
Even though sometimes,
We get into each other's hair.

You're a dork,
I'm a dork,
We're both tons of fun.
Don't you worry,
This poem has only just begun.

You're tall,
I'm short,
We're funny that way;
We talk and laugh
And play all day.

You like reading rhymes,
I like to write them,
You're a poet's best friend;
And please, don't fret.
'Cause we'll be friends 'til the end.
I wrote this for my best guy friend.
832 · Mar 2017
Butterfly
elizabeth Mar 2017
Heart beats and paper wings,
Tattered clothes and souls that sing.
Beauty that relies on grace,
Salty tears that run down the face.
Hopes that give a crown and throne,
Fears that wittle down to the bone.
Angels protecting with all their might,
Demons killing out of spite.
Making sure another dies,
She won't live to be a butterfly.
March 21, 2017.
I'm not sure what exactly this is, other than a culmination of my mind.
825 · Dec 2016
Sweet, Beautiful Words
elizabeth Dec 2016
Hearing words of kindness
From a stranger, a new friend,
(Or anyone for that matter)
Is a rarity these days.
I only bring pain
And disappointment,
Or at least, it seems that way.
But to hear sweet, beautiful words
From a newfound friend
It makes my heart flutter
And fills my somber mind
With joyful, blissful thoughts.
December 23, 2016.
To my newfound friend. May your days be as lovely as your words and writings.
823 · Nov 2016
Holy Sonnet X by John Donne
elizabeth Nov 2016
Original

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so;
For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou **** me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul’s delivery.
Thou’art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy’or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell’st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

Translation by Liza Ann Marie**

Death, do not be proud. Though some may call you
Mighty and dreadful, you are not that way.
For, those you think you overthrow,
Do not die; Poor Death, you cannot even **** me.
You are like rest and sleep and bring
Much pleasure; and then to you many more flow.
And soon our best men will go with you,
Rest of their bones and soul’s delivery.
You are a slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men;
In poison, war, and sickness you dwell.
Poppies or charms could make us sleep just as well,
And even better than you could; why pride yourself then?
After one short sleep, we awake again eternally
And you will be no more. Death, you will die.
November 8, 2016
The original poem was written by John Donne. I translated it since it was rather difficult to read and I wanted to be able to grasp the full meaning of the poem.
All rights go to the writer of the original poem and its' affiliates.
822 · May 2018
butterflies
elizabeth May 2018
butterflies
and candy lies
that’s what your
silver tongue fed me
gobbling it up
i became fat,
greedy, and dependent
on your honeyed deceit
believing in that
sweet, kind voice
i was stuck in
your trap of golden tar
unknowingly, i was dying
suffocating
starving
trying to cut
my way out of
your sticky grasp


now, i’m finally free
and i’ll never let
myself taste that
false manna again
may 1, 2018
814 · Mar 2017
Awoken
elizabeth Mar 2017
My eyes open,
The sun filters in.
For a moment,
Just a moment,
I am warm;
I am at peace.
I am happy.
And then the day
Starts, and I wish
With all my heart
And soul that
I hadn't awoken
From my sleep.
March 14, 2017.
elizabeth Dec 2016
"You think you can,
But you just can't, Nemo!"

You're right.
I can't. I can't do anything.
So goodbye, Dad.
I'm leaving. Forever.
I'll see you
Wherever fish go
When they die.
December 21, 2016
790 · Aug 2016
Hurting
elizabeth Aug 2016
I hurt.
You hurt me.
You took away my innocence.
How could you do this to a little girl?
I was so sweet and innocent.

But that was ripped away from me.
You cut into me with your lies like a knife.
You made me what I am.
How could you?

You will never know my pain.
You will never understand what you ******* did to me.
You will never understand anything.
Because I won't let you.
I won't explain myself to you.
I don't need to.
You took away my innocence.
My trust.
My happiness.
You took everything.
But I won't let you take the new light I've found.
I won't let your image cloud it over.
I won't let my ***** past form a fog over my new future.

You hurt me.
But guess what, *******?
I'm gonna get up,
and I'm gonna hurt you back.
August 12, 2016.
Wrote this today on BlindWrite. It's about my past, and the ****** who ******* with my head and messed everything up.
http://blindwrite.herokuapp.com/
787 · Oct 2016
Something More
elizabeth Oct 2016
I like when you show
That you care,
I really do.
You don't even realize
How happy it makes me
When you defend me,
When you protect me,
When you hug me tightly
Telling me "It's okay."
Even now, I mentioned
I missed talking to you;
You swooped in and
Decided you were going
To make it right.
So now we're talking more.
Once again, my wonderful
Best friend and I
Are enjoying our friendship.
It brings me joy
To hear you laugh,
To see you smile,
To listen to you sing
Melancholy love songs
And songs that we both love.
I just wish that our talks,
Our hugs,
Our games,
Our singing,
Our jokes,
Our songs...
I just wish they would turn
Into something more.
October 29, 2016
I've fallen even deeper into this pool that I've made full of love for you, and I can't get out.
782 · Mar 2017
The Wasteland
elizabeth Mar 2017
No thing grows,
No bird flies.
Flowers- they shrivel;
Die in my mind.

Dark as night,
Quiet like fear.
Terrible as monsters;
All pain resides here.

Warmth isn't found,
Light is scarce.
Silence stabs ears
Like a dagger's pierce.

The toxic air,
The deadly sand.
You haven't guessed?
**I am the wasteland.
March 25, 2017.
Rhyme scheme: second and last line end rhyme. Stanza one and three: near-rhyme. Stanza two and four: rhyme.
779 · Mar 2017
Suicide Seas (short poem)
elizabeth Mar 2017
Sinking to the bottom,
An anchor tied around my ankle,
I find rest while drowning
In the Suicide Seas.
March 21, 2017.
765 · Sep 2016
Alone (senryuu)
elizabeth Sep 2016
Feeling so alone;
Will it always be this way?
*Is this how I die?
September 6, 2016
760 · May 2018
desert
elizabeth May 2018
my skin is cracked
my stomach an empty sea
my mouth is dry
so sand pours out
my hands are fragile
my eyes tired of searching
my lungs have collapsed
from breathing in
the deadly scorching air
in this desert dry of love

the things we do to keep
ourselves alive and living well
are things i do not forté in
and cannot truly grasp
why eat when i taste nothing
but clay and iron and death
why drink when the water is
barren on my tongue
nothing is as it should be
in this desert dry of love

exhausted, i shrivel away
no rain of thoughts to fuel
on the hot and burning days
the downpour never comes
so nothing grows on the terrain
there is only a sandstorm
it curls around
swirling
eroding
in this desert dry of love

this desert
dry dry desert
heats me to the core
and makes me into nothing
i am but a mound of ugly
common clay once more
easily shattered
fractured
destroyed
in this desert dry of love
april 24, 2018
760 · Oct 2016
The Magic of Us
elizabeth Oct 2016
I have a feeling
That if I had said those three words,
You wouldn't have said them back.
And I would be sad;
Because that would mean that the
Magic of us would be over.
October 18, 2016
(5 syllables, 7 syllables, 7 syllables)
752 · Aug 2016
For Him
elizabeth Aug 2016
Looking into your eyes-
I fall
Looking at your heart-
In love
Looking at a beautiful sunset-
With you
Wishing I was with you-
More and more
Hoping to be together-
*Every single day
August 24, 2016.
I love you, sweetheart.
726 · Feb 2017
Remembering (revised)
elizabeth Feb 2017
Remembering the songs
I hummed as a small child
Remembering the innocence
Of my mind as a small child
Remembering the joy
Imbedded into my heart as a small child
Remembering the love
I believed in as a small child
Remembering the stories
That took me away as a small child
Remembering everything
That I was as a small child
Reminds me of everything
That I'm not as a young woman.
January 31, 2017.
I revised this poem after I got some feedback from a wonderful young lady named Hannah who runs a blog called "2B or Not 2B: Creative Writing Tips and Tricks. Please check it out, it really is a wonderful blog. (P.s. I won this month's poetry contest with this revised version of "Remembering"!)
elizabeth Jan 2017
Discrediting me,
"You don't know what you're saying."
Let me prove you wrong.
January 3, 2017.
You can try and say I don't know what I'm talking about, but in the end you will look like a fool as I prove you wrong.
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