"I was here", the writing on the wall said.
Her cold body lying down on the mat,
Decorated in the lifeless blood
She was drowning in...
Her eyes almost seemed at ease.
Somewhere between the seduction of suicide
And the myriad of regret,
Before she let herself slip
Into the unknown,
She must've realised she'd never feel again
Known by all,
And loved by none.
You chose to make death your saviour
I can still hear your laughter
When I told you life was beautiful.
You were haunted, gentle girl
But you were my secret lover.
You are not interested in me. It is as clear as pure water.
I have someone else. It is as evident as the sun is shining.
But I fell for you. Secretly, but certainly. Although I have someone else next to me, you know he cheated on me. You know how much he has hurt me. However, you believe that I still love him and that my feelings for him are unwavering whatsoever.
Have you ever found me lovable, even in the slightest degree, in our 8-year friendship? I cannot help being anxious and envious of the sore gaze she can give to you. I cannot express any of these feelings of mine to anyone, though...
I am just happy to be with you. My heart soars when I see you smile. Sitting next to you is just enough for me. Please do not notice tears on my cheek.
I went halfway across the world
Because being with you
A strong current
To pick up
Of my heart
And what I learnt there
Is that love is but
A fraction of time
Adding you to me
and dividing us by distance
(A space too big for me to bear)
So I followed you
Because you asked -
Under the pretence
That I yearned
For the vast expanse
To learn to be free again,
But I found that your soul
Was not angelic and flawless
It was a myriad of a thousand sparkling shards of glass
Scattered and dazzling
In the moments you were quiet
I loved you
On the days you were eaten by guilt
I loved you
On nights you were weary and ignorant
I loved you
And the moments when we rolled around in laughter
I loved you best
But I made a promise
That after this indulgence;
A deluge of minutes, days and weeks spent together
Cascading around me
Like falling stars
Dancing on the surface of my universe
That it has been time
That I have worshipped you
As the centrepiece of my earth
And you still don’t know
And I still can’t tell you
I promised this would be the last time
I would allow the beating of your heart
To interrupt the beating of mine
And you must never break
how does one go about expressing their love to a girl?
I've never felt like this about a girl, before
but everything - my heart, pounding and vulnerable and so impossibly fragile - now seems to depend on
her laughter is like the colour yellow
and it turns my vision hazy every time
the expression she wears is innocent and unassuming
but those hazel eyes are white-hot fire
she's got this rosewood hair that floats around her, ethereal,
her hands are gentle, delicate
her heart is so full of love
her arms, filled with kidness
she turns the blood in my veins to crackling flames.
look at her mouth.
what can I say. how can I vocalize this kind of want. this kind of hunger.
I'd never tell. no, I'd never say a word.
My head was against your swollen petals
My hands were through your thorns
Your cross was cold, against my chest
When my spine straightened, I could see the reflection of my hope in your eyes.
When your cross went down my thighs, it only made me realize that my hope may never die.
It was too bad you withheld my heart when it melted through your fingertips.
First hidden love with an older man. Written at 17 years of age.
Quite a friend,
Quite a lover.
A secret hidden,
To bound forever.
Was it wrong?
Was it right?
For me to belong,
For me to hold tight.
To you I only feel.
Don't wake me up
From this dream.
But holy crap,
We're at the brim!
So hold firm
And don't let go.
Do you feel the same?
Let me know.
For the secret lovers out there **
It's been 3 years ever since we met
It didn't come to me, that i'll love you till my last breath
'Twas a major revelation for me,
Not for you.
I have to love you secretly,
Those 3 years i've been with you
My eyes still has the same look for you
Hidden in the dungeons of my heart
My affection for you,
I have to keep it forever,
I don't want to ruin what we have.
The time will come when everyone will know, and that's the time when, maybe, I moved on.
My feelings are stuck in my mind
If you have time to listen - be so kind.
You are unromantic is what they tell
But my heart knows no reasons why I fell.
You pass me by daily without a glance
A glimpse from you is one in a million chance.
My soul cries of craving for you - only you
Please Sir, hear my feelings oh so true!
Do not close the door of destiny on me
Open the ears of your heart and set me free.
I do not dare ask that you love me in return
Let me confess my emotions which brightly burn.
Your secret admirer
I have a secret I wanna tell you
But how can I? if it's all about you
This feeling inside of me
Makes me wanna scream because of so much misery
I started to close my eyes
If you'll hear it, will you walk away from me?
Please tell me this early
So that I can fix my mind clearly
That the feeling that keeps on beating
Will be forever in my heart, hiding
I'm falling down,
And I know not where.
All I know is that
*I'm glad you're here.
November 11, 2016