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Of all the mothers in my life,
     Mom, you're the very best of all.
I thank You, God, for my very good mom,
     The bestest mom since mankind's fall.
I'm not all that good,
I'm not all that bad,
Maybe one day,
I'm as bad as a person can be,
Maybe on another day,
I'm one of the best you can meet,

Raised in a small town,
Where people gossip
from sun up to sun down,
Brought up poor in a broken
family, only added more,

When I'm out and about,
I get those judgemental stares,
with whispers of, "she's hopeless,
she's beyond repair,

I get worked up so
I purposely give them a reason to
gasp for air,

Of course they all claim to be Christians,
The type that choose clean blue water
to be baptised in,
But I was baptised in muddy water
and I'm glad to say," hey listen up,
I was baptised in muddy water so
I guess that makes me too ***** for
your kind?"

Then I smile to myself because
I know  something they must not,
WATERS, as well.
I imagine it kind of went like this:
Upon meeting Jesus, John said: "I have need to be baptized of thee, and comest thou to me? I imagine Jesus told John it was only right to do so, I can imagine John trying to convince Jesus to at least let him find cleaner waters but Jesus knew so He refused.

You see in the time of Jesus’s baptism, the Jordan river and surrounding areas was no less than now, a river full of muck, *****, muddy, and gross looking, you can’t see two inches into it today nor could you then.

These very people called Christians are the same people who judge so harshly, through the centuries they've compared Jesus's baptism to our own,  with an understandable preference for the clear waters of a Blue Hole over the muddy waters of the Jordan and beyond,

So yeah, I'm all messed up in the head,
Better the head than the heart,
But you've already judged my part.

So if you ever run out stuff to gossip about, just think back and remember,
the small town girl that was baptised in muddy water.
- Author Ven J Arnold / SacredInkedBlood
The word Christian is so diluted that I refuse to be labeled as one. Christianity was a new religion started by Paul. Honestly, I know many and they do gossip, intentionally hurt others and think they're way is the only right way. Look at all the wrongs done in the name of Christianity. However I do believe that there are some genuine people who label themselves as a Christian and proudly.
What is it?
No one knows
But everyone has an idea
A summary of the book of Job
Filomena Apr 2
Worthless, worthless, says the preacher
Self-important, self-taught teacher

Worthless, worthless, says the buyer
Yet your price was never higher

You get it cheap, and start to boast
And then leave nothing for the host

But emperors are like their clothes
Their what and whether no-one knows

You take their treasure in your hand
And feel your fist is full of sand

You search for some security
See things become, but never be

Why seek to run a perfect race,
If past the sun is only space?

Would you rather face the end?
Or live to chase the wind?
Late 2018 - April 2022
George Krokos Mar 19
If Lord Jesus Christ is said to sit on the right hand side of God the Father in Heaven then who sits on the left side?

When Jesus was born it is recorded in the Gospels that He was visited by three wise men who came to see and honor Him by following a star from the east. Did they actually follow an external star and light in the sky or were they able to see and follow the promptings of the Inner Light of intuition, insight and illumination of those who are Enlightened which is also called and known as The Star of the East and can be seen within the darkness of closed eyes and sometimes with opened eyes?

Did Jesus tell Judas to betray Him as he was sensed to be wavering in his resolution to do so because Jesus had to fulfill the mission entrusted to Him by the Holy Spirit and of which it was prophesied about in the earlier scriptures? The Gospel of John states that Jesus confronted Judas at the last supper, telling him, "What you are about to do, do quickly."

Did Jesus command His foremost disciple Peter to deny Him three times as He could see that that was what it would take to save Peter's life and for him to live on and be the Rock upon which He would build His Church as Jesus had foretold of him when He had asked Peter Whom did he think that He was and the answer that Peter gave was the one that most pleased Jesus?

What did Jesus do and where did he go between the time of 12 and 30 years of age? As it is recorded in the Gospel by St Luke about Him being left behind unknowingly by His parents (how could this have happened?) and was found three days later in Jerusalem talking to the doctors in the Temple asking and answering questions at the age of 12 and then not being heard of again until the age of 30 when He is recorded to be seeking baptism by John the Baptist just before being led into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. Here also there seems to be an unanswered question over the recounting of Jesus's ordeal in the desert which is told by the Gospel writers to have lasted 40 days and 40 nights and which happened before He called any of His disciples to start following Him. How could they have known what actually transpired during that time, and how much of it is based on the truth, unless it was Jesus Himself who told them about it later on or, was it the work of the “Holy Spirit” about which it is said that it's “He Who makes known or reveals all things”.
Also, did Jesus return the visit of the Three Wise Men who came to see him at the time of His birth and who perhaps held the key to that Divine Knowledge and Wisdom which Jesus had to master in order for Him to fulfill His mission on earth? Eighteen years is a long time to have missing out of one's life particularly that of one Who is regarded to be the Savior of the World.
Did Jesus gain or attain, during those eighteen years mentioned above, that perfect Self mastery of the body, mind and spirit which was required for Him to have the ability and Divine Knowledge to perform miracles and to undergo and survive the ordeal of the Crucifixion and to then apparently be found to have come back to life in the story of the Resurrection after being proclaimed dead by the authorities at the time and was then buried where He would be recorded to go on and perform perhaps the greatest miracle of all?
In the discipline and higher practices of Yoga there is a state called 'Nirvikalpa Samadhi' which is also known as the 'breathless' and more specifically as the 'I am God' state whereby one who has mastered it can voluntarily leave the physical body at will and not be conscious of it at all, as would normally be the case when awake, but can still retain a connection with it which may explain the apparent death and resurrection of Lord Jesus Christ who is known to have been a Master Yogi when we compare His achievements with those that have been documented and can be attained by one who has mastered the science and art of Yoga.

It is also thought and even recorded that Jesus descended down to hell after He apparently 'died' on the cross due to the Crucifixion because of all our sins which He incurred as a down payment to God the Father so He could form what has come to be known as the New Covenant to save all those who believe in Him. While certain aspects of this view have merit and are true, it seems to go against what Jesus Himself is recorded to have said in the Gospels to one of the other condemned prisoners at the time before He 'died' on the cross when that prisoner asked Jesus to please remember him when he would go up into His Kingdom and Jesus having compassion replied to him saying: “Today shalt thou be with me in paradise” which is a far cry and contradiction to what is thought to have happened.

In the forty days following the Resurrection it is recorded that Jesus spent the time with His disciples before the Ascension teaching and telling them many things even so far as to remove any doubts they may have had regarding what happened to Him and to painfully declare that He had to leave and go to prepare a place for them in Heaven with the Father. Did Jesus actually ascend up to heaven or did He project an image of Himself in the sky as a farewell greeting before going away and heading off yonder with one or two of His disciples? It's very plausible that it would have been too dangerous for Him and His disciples if He had of stayed around, as it is recorded in some of the apocryphal texts where it's written that He traveled to the east and in particular India where it's also said that He died a normal death and was buried somewhere in what is now known as Kashmir.
There's also a story in The Book Of Mormon in which it is recorded that Jesus visited two Jewish lost tribes that had been exiled from the Holy Land a couple of centuries before due to their warring nature against each other, as a blessing of peace and to fulfill a promise and prophesy made and written about in the earlier scriptures, after all the drama unfolded there (His trial and crucifixion etc).

'To be born again' is a well known phrase in Christianity and is said to be a baptism by the Holy Spirit of someone who has become a follower of Lord Jesus Christ and involves the descent of Divine Grace. It would seem that not all followers of Jesus Christ receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit and are truly 'Born Again' but only those who ardently seek and follow in His footsteps and live by His example as set out in the Gospels with the instructions and words given therein. Only those who spend time in prayer, on a daily basis more or less, following the promptings of the 'Holy Spirit' and go about doing good, rendering service to others in need, to the best of their ability avoiding the temptations and pitfalls of the 'Flesh' in the form of lust, greed, anger, pride and jealousy and also living in accordance within the laws of the Ten Commandments. It is these people who experience the words of Lord Jesus Christ in the New Testament to come alive in them and go on to know the 'real mysteries of faith'. Each one receives what they're capable of holding which is in a spirit of humility and meekness; that is to do the Will of God the Father by obeying those aforesaid promptings of the Holy Spirit and by keeping the words of Lord Jesus Christ always in their heart.

There are many followers and believers of Lord Jesus Christ who have been adamantly saying and preaching that He will come again physically in a “Second Coming” and this has been going on for the past two thousand years or so since the stories of the “Resurrection” and in particular after His “Ascension”. Could it be that they are somehow mistaken and that it is just all based on dogma? However, in spite of any doubts or misgivings in this regard, it would be truly great to be around at such a time were it to happen hence the power of belief in it. This is also really something that can and does happen in a personal and individual way as described above in the previous paragraph.
In consideration of all the horrific events that happened during the past 20th century it would indeed be evident or even obvious that it should have been at some time back then. Instead there are many people left wondering as to what it would really take for God or someone like God to manifest Himself as an Incarnation of the Christ or Messiah etc, wielding Divine power, knowledge and authority, to save humanity and thereby in fact the whole world. If God is God being all powerful, all knowing, all loving, all compassionate, omnipresent, infinite and eternally creative etc, who's to say that He would need to come back down again amidst mankind in the same form as that of one of His previous incarnations at such a crucial time? Would it not be a display of favoritism on God's part to do so and for all we know would only lead to greater conflict and more religious war than has already been the case in the past and in some ways still going on today?
See also YouTube video: Jesus in India, Tibet and Persia - An Account Missing from The Bible largely based in parts on the book 'The Unknown Life of Jesus Christ' by Nicolas Notovitch.
I started writing this some time ago back in September, 2019 and it seems to have taken up quite a lot of my time over Easter in 2021 updating it a number of times again since then. It isn't meant to mock or contradict anyone's belief or faith but attempts to shine a light, however dim it may seem, to some who hold or regard that everything they read and have been led to believe is true as far as certain aspects of the Christian scriptures go. Please also note that I regard myself to be a 'Born Again New Age Christian' since the early days of 1977.
Leah Carr Mar 12
Lord Jesus
why does it take you so long?
To draw the piece
and write the song
of my life
according to you
is beautiful
why won't you follow through?

Lord Jesus
why break your promises
like those of earth?
is it a reflection
of my worth?
you're supposed to care
you're supposed to love
but all you're doing
is staring down from above

Lord Jesus
you say you give your hardest battles
to your strongest fighters
you say you'd never make it darker
when it couldn't get lighter
but God
I'm sorry
But I know that's untrue
because when it comes down to it
where are you?
Am I even here? I walk throughout and feel so empty. I try so hard to do what is right and even my best attempts are failures. Life never let me down gently. My closest friends betray me and my efforts rarely see any reward.

I am assured that it is not what I do that assures that you love me. I have a standard inside that I cannot even reach. I wake up everyday and try again. Every day I sincerly try. I swear I see the other side but I never get any closer to it.

I am so desperate inside to please you. I am so desperate inside that someone see's me. I have faith and a hope that one day I will see what it is that you see in me. That I find this value or worth that led you to die for me.

You say that you walk beside me and that you have prepared a place for me. I am so eager to be there where I feel welcome and I can forget this suffering. I need you here please dont leave me. I cannot overcome the storm you sent unless you walk with me.

I dont mean to be dramatic or complain or come across as ungrateful for all the blessings you have given me. I just want to be with you in the place with no tears. I want to live and I want to be better than I have ever been before. I want to fish with you on crystal shores. Belong to something greater than me.

Finding strength through failure.
Filomena Feb 27
He said,
Now please attend
My praying class,
But don't offend
By playing crass!

I heard
A Crashing Cymbal,
Sounding Brass,
A Blasting Wind,
A Braying ***.

In the end,
Despite the way
The teacher tried,
I still remain
A Pauline reference.
Written Feb. 26, 2022.
Augmented and edited the following day.
Mercy Feb 24

What do you do when you're at the edge
That place that you keep
Landing in...
Over and over as though a melody?.

When waves of emotions stir up
As tears fight,
Trying to escape my eye lids
Maybe wash off the pain in my eyes.

Religion, relationship, career, purpose
Nothing makes sense
I'm at a loss here
What's with me
Do I enjoy the roller coaster
And why is it always painful

This knife stuck in my
Stuck., as my molten blood
Burn it down,
Melting it from it's metallic state
Consumed completely into dark
The horror.
The voices, the mock,
The evil laugh,
Of him winning
Ha!'re a seven remember
The mass that should
Predict the future behind you doesn't measure up,
Your face is pale,
Your eyes dilated,
Your knees sharp...decide whether you wanna be a girl coz ha!
Your short fat fingers ugh! Pathetic!
What was God even thinking trying to put up all this?
You're the definition of mess.

At that dark corner
I smiled,
I chuckled and in the middle of a chuckle  
I broke a tear
And laughed hysterically
For the sick joke.

Striding slowly to the mirror.
I see my reflection
I'm not sure what they saw
When they were saying all that
Coz I don't see it.
I see a reflection of God
Maker of the heavens and earth

Can't believe it broke my heart
Listening to their empty
Maybe I forget how perfect
His work is
I hope I'll snap in time
To appreciate the rhythm
For the hallelujahs we to raise

Coz everything He created was good and perfect
So next time you
Find yourself doubting
His master piece
Consult The spirit that
Hovered over the waters
When the earth was with no form
Helping the Father complete His work
Which was affirmed good.
Not forgetting Him breathing life into
You and placing you
Where He called good and perfect.

Let His words flow out of you
Changing the slow rock rhythm that keeps living you hanging on the edge
And dance on those sharp
Thorns coz even though the snake
Bites you,

The poison won't harm you.
Maybe you're a small girl which
Is perfect coz you have a big God.
Small girl big God
Filomena Jan 27
My poetry *****
I've zero *****
To give my art
My empty heart
Devoid of feel
Has no appeal
Toward the sheep
Who watch me weep
A worthless sound
A spring unwound
Potential spent
Becoming bent
Approaching death
Jehovah saith
He shall be ******
The preacher groaned
In deep denial
We must revile
All things defiled
And we deny
That one divine
These horrors binds
Into our lives
As such we try
In faith to live
As we forgive
Ourselves alone
As He atoned
For us, but you
He would not do
An invitation
You can't take
Unless you fake
The way we do
And say it's true
What's in our book
Just take a look
And soon you'll see
Belongs to me
--I mean to Him
His power's within
My mortal flesh
And who would guess
That it was me
Was meant to be
A chosen one
A pointed gun
At those He hates
His wrath abates
When fire is cold
And time gets old
As was foretold
By prophets bold
Great men of old
Religion sold
The people told
Their word of gold
But on inspection
Their intention
Is control
To be the sole
And keep the people quieter
The evening of January 15, 2022
To break my writer's block,
I decided to write a string of rhyming couplets.
This was the result.
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