i liked it the way you listened
i could tell by your eyes
and your smart questions
i liked it that you had a sense of beauty
a quite relish for stillness
and the spirit in things
i liked it the way you cared
for people’s feelings
the hosting of your society
and your tender awareness of sensitivities
i liked your sense of humour
and interest in people’s bizarre stories
your relish for their secrets
but most of all
l liked it the way you touched me
going straight to parts
i didn’t even know that
set my soul on fire
electrified my desire
writing to a memory
This all feels like a dream— the highest are so high and the hues are so pure but just like when I’m dreaming, when something hurts it burns and stings and bleeds.
he was always a mystery to me.
no matter how much i thought i could observe him from afar.
the way he lights up a cigarette
how he argues
how he jokes around
i know the dimple in the corner of his mouth that appears when
i never had the courage to even hope of being next to him.
it's strange to work with someone you admire in a way
you don't even understand.
cause it was not a "fell in love" type of feeling, but more like a weird chemical reaction that was happening
and last night
i thought i was discovering him.
that i will get to discover him.
but he only left me with more mystery.
with every thing he showed me
everything he revealed to me:
even that birthmark,
the more mysterious he would get.
today i discovered
how much he wants to be a father
how much he wants someone
how sensitive he is.
and i know i should not be sad thinking now, alone, about what happened
but i should be happy that the moment existed.
that for a few instants,
in the intimacy that we built together
he was mine only,
he gave himself to me entirely
and let a few masks fall.
and now i ask you, stay!
but i'll pour another glass of waiting. this bar is never closing.
Absorbing everything all at once
How I wish I could not
Feel like floating away
Out of control and it hits me deeply
Down from the bottom
until it gives me endless shivers
and my head rolls like a thunder
weakness starts to tingle
but it lingers to me, it's inevitable
Another day again
Dragging with ball and chain
Whether to let it all sink
But how I could not think?
Everything is so shallow
But I am drowning below
Leaving me breathless
Stranded on the ground, helpless
It is killing me but I am not dying
The deepest hole where I could escape
There is nothing much I could erase
The turbulence of serenity
Has been buried deep down in me
Nothing I could do now to outwit sensitivity
the struggles of being an empath
The Willow cried
her trickling sobs
a shadowy space
Alone, there a girl
her smiling mouth
and frowning eyes
a tentative nod
held by mounds of grass
and a propensity
She could tumble dry
or get caught up
in a waterfall of
She never could decide.
I am the flower of untouched perceptibility, the unique breed nobody could ever find in any imposing gardens. Do not chase to haunt me and the richness of my petals’ sap if you are not a holy breed of spirit as I might wither and get my seeds of knowledge scratched in your unjust volition. I am the pearl, the mermaid chain of blushing moon tides.