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Nylee Oct 2020
I am so restricted to me
That I don't see the world around me
The universal sea
I am caccooned to a well
My well-being at that

I don't see the obvious
It does concern us
It is all dubious
Too hard to understand the truth
Till it is too late

Wait, I should do that
Hey, I can't help that
Well there is no end to my rant
Wait it is happening fast
Isn't it just great!

You know, you know
I know but I don't
It just doesn't show
Too caught up in me
I lose moments of my sanity
Losing on my vanity.
Mom
Nylee May 2018
Mom
When I'm ill
I call out to you, mom.
When I'm hurt,
I call out to you, mom.
When I'm scared,
I call out to you, mom.
When I'm in problem,
I call out to you, mom.
When in trouble
I call for you, mom
Even when I panic
I call for you.

You give me
unbelievable strength
in real and
even in memory
I know I'll be safe
when I'm with you
and you'll come
from anywhere
wherever
to save me
my hero.
Nylee Oct 2018
When it was midnight and
   we had nowhere to go.

When it was sunshine and
  we had nothing to show.

When it was raining
  we were down in pool.

When it was winter
  we were too cool to be cool.

When in May
  we finally found the shelter.

When in December
  we lost another member.

When finally things went well
  we saw another loss.

When things went south
  we took another toss.

When sun rose again
  we didn't trust its light.

When the night spread
  we lived in its moonlight.
Nylee May 2021
Why does the moon keep on hiding their dark side,
Am I turning into just like you,
reflecting the bright and hiding in the dark night.
Nylee Aug 2020
a million pieces
  it is how my dreams have become
little by little
  every little break a little
multiply and increase

By next month
  I'd be counting the billionth one
the reality is too real
  I see nothing ticks my list
and I am slowly learning to accept
  I am getting there

Now the darkness took over
  The dreams I see in the night
My back of eyelids
  grant me the solace
From the daily torture of day ones

Sometimes I see a face
  who know how to sew those pieces
it is better I stay clear
  These broken pieces would make a beautiful mosaic
  But any tear ahead will be the sudden death,
I'd be too distorted for any new wreck.
Nylee May 21
I'm yet to feel my age,
All I feel is burning rage
with inflation comes reducing wage
As I figure through all my problems,
there is no permanent solution
but with every fix
there is a new mountain ready
To envelope me.
Nylee Apr 2020
Tumbling and crumbling
I get up and go back to sleep.
Nylee May 2020
It is a thought
I thought a lot
We began
And we end
We live in between
Like a movie scene
But all I want
Is a final happy ending.
Nylee Nov 2017
If I have a choice to be happy
 at every chance I get
                        why do I always pick to be sad?
Nylee Sep 2020
You were fresh out of September
Dewdrops touching my face

a bright day
A sunny smile
the star lighting me up

A patch of pink and blue

but with rainy nights
and windy breezy evenings

The sweaters of November
will suit you too
.
Nylee Nov 2023
Effortless words, spoken with no efforts,
A miracle, it seems to me.
A fractured mind, adrift at sea,
Your presence drives me to insanity.

Hanging by a thread, very thin,
Chaos reigns within.
Should I bother, should I care?
Let the wind take you elsewhere.

A snarky voice, it whispers low,
In the darkness, where I go.
No need to impress, for all is lost,
My interest fades, like morning frost.

You linger near, a mystery,
A running commentary in my head.
Your words replay, like a haunting melody,
From different voices, I am misled.

Nothing feels right, nothing seems true,
You've driven me out of my mind with a beautiful view.
Nylee Dec 2020
How insecure am I
It comes out in waves
as I call out the names
it's been ever the same
as far, since I was five.

I see them
looking at me,
they can sense my nervous energy,
I can see the anxiety building up
Overflowing the cup
as I grow old.

I am okay
without anybody
But I change immediately
as I sense someone
around me.

It's just me
I feel everyone judging me,
I want high scores
but I can't act right,
I know it is impossible
to please everyone
but at those times
I just forget even to try,
it's how I am.

I do know,
I am getting negatives
because of my inactions
but I cannot calm my nerves.
It is the heart hammering
On the walls loudly,
It is hard.

My eyes
vulnerable to all eyes,
Can't you see that I
am afraid?

I am an open book
with empty lines,
with doodles at sides,
this is my mind
with more scribbles.

I can't grow like this,
I've to get over this
the world is merciless,
won't give another chance
this is it, miss the hit
you go back home.

I am nervous, I am unsure,
I am a mess, looking for cure,
my best attempt of smile
is like another big failure,
I try to speak up, more words
they flow with stammer.
Nylee May 2018
wherever I will go
he'll move away
tilted reality
unaware, I am,
he's passing me
changing his paths
so we never meet ever
but we are together
for a second
holding our breath
blinking our eyes
beneath the blue skies
.
Nylee May 2018
Digging out the history
he created a new story
which suited his creativity
used all the evidence
to his benefit
to get the required popularity
praises for his credibility
and no rings and bones
are opposing it.
Nylee Oct 2020
I see, breathe and
feel my heart
breaking a thousand times a day
I keep silence all through the day, the night
but when I go to sleep on my bed,
I remember each broken piece
like a still fresh bleed
Depriving me from night's peace
this is my sleep disease
All these heartaches control my night dreams
They won't cease till I cease.
Nylee Jul 17
World turns quiet at night
no more noise on the streets
it turns to slowness
but it is loudest inside
The soul speaks in me
Thinking is thundering
raining with hard emotions
it is too much, too soon
lingering feelings churning
while looking at the moon
Nylee May 2018
Walking the street
the dark blue sky
yellow on eyes
down the street lights
I move forward
with many shadows
beside me


Empty street
haunting feelings
stumbling legs
there are buildings
all around me
all asleep in darkness
no movements
I can hear
my intake of air


The last street
to the house
I call my own
I drag my feet
faster
so I can keep
the fear of unknown
down
.
Nylee May 2017
Chances are
I won't get any chance
to  make my dreams true
So I'll rather stay
in my daydreaming trance
away from the worlds cold
Nylee Sep 2019
A clear sky
No grey sight
With fist full of desires
green dreamy eyes
I fly away
.
Nylee May 2017
Stronger, but not invincible
Hidden, but not invisible
Unclear, but not unaware
Careful,
          but no longer care.
Nylee Dec 2017
Silver flame burn in her eyes
as she tries to hold back her tears
Dark shining fires  
shooting like spears
beating beats of fear.

Rain drops falling the greyness
in the field, by the river
shine of the diamond
devoid of the glitter
slowly the sparks die.

Rings don't bond them back
unstretched the spring
broken ties, empty hearts
unopened carts
but a game of cards.

Moved back in position
dreading the new season
searching the reasons
blaming themselves
in those eerie silences.

Fighting themselves to break
but trying in hearts another stitch
the tear too large
a very hard wreck
unlikely to be any merger.
Nylee Jul 2021
Little by little
every shard of my work
will disappear from this world
and the time will erase
my existence
.
yet this year I celebrated my birthday
Nylee Apr 2017
what are we waiting for?
Luck to make it all alright
Happiness to make everything all good
Love to make everything complete
Success to make work go worth
Money to have everything you want
Hope which will not diminish

or a normal Life
to live with and without everything mentioned above.
Nylee Apr 2018
This adulthood is the most uncomfortable place I'm in,        
it will not come to an end soon like all the good things do.
Nylee Apr 2017
When I'm alone at night ,
I am not scared to turn off the light
I am not frightened that  easily
That is what I tell myself
I don't glance behind every next moment
I don't jump when I see some shadows
The strange sounds in the background
which echos around
doesn't terrify me
Nor do I look outside the window
Or I hide behind my pillows
There is nothing to fear at night
Nothing at all
Nylee Nov 2020
Day by day
everything is the same
but everything has changed
In a flick of time
everything is translated
A year turning into
a new lifestyle
everything is changing
I can't see it now.
Nylee Oct 2017
The morning after the night before
the life's empty shore
nothing left, nothing no more
just an unfinished score
with helpless expressions we wore
on a vacant floor
the mind is quite sore
nothing no more.
Nylee Nov 2019
So this happened
And that too
The mind is alive
Not coming to
Conclusion
It is 3am
On my bed since 11
My eyes are wide open
Not sleeping at all.
Nylee Feb 2017
I hate when the my thoughts go there
And I sit and stare
I hate when I get tempted to do that
And I do and regret
I hate when I do not feel content
As I  haven't  lived a sad life.
I hate when I do not know what I resent
But that feeling controls my life
I hate to see that I am not what I wanted to be
Nylee Apr 2017
The world would have been wonderful
if wars were peaceful
&
hate was lovely

There would be no one hurt
No dread , no threat
no violence
Nylee Jan 2021
You have yet not seen me at my worst
Nor have you seen me trying my best
You just met me seconds ago
And already termed me as a nuisance.
Nylee Jul 2022
What is me?
not even a speck
in this universe sea.
who am I even?
I can't believe in
the being human,
where there are seven billion
just like me,
while I keep my eyes close
to this reality.
Nylee Oct 2023
Open the chambers of my mind,
Where memories are enshrined,
Some clear, some blurred, but all profound,
A tapestry of my lived life, unbound.

I watch them play, like reels on a screen,
A kaleidoscope of moments, unseen,
Some joyous, some sad, but all real,
The chapters of my life, they reveal.

From childhood days of carefree glee,
To teenage years of angst and spree,
To adulthood's trials and tribulations,
Each memory holds its own vibrations.

Though some may bring a tear to my eye,
I cherish them all, for they're a part of me.
For in the tapestry of my life,
Each memory plays a vital role, without strife
Nylee Apr 7
I cannot store the happiness in the chest
It is hollow at present
I felt it in the early hour
It is never there when I want
It is something expected
never to be found.

Use it little to little as I need it
It disappears before I could consume
in the air, and gone!

I cannot buy it or control it
Cannot stock up when in abundance
It never comes to stay
going away
with devastation taking it's place.

It may be true as I once heard
Happiness has no existence.
Nylee Mar 2017
Paintbrush and paints
can make empty canvas
               change its identity
Nylee Aug 2021
It's       a   desperate          plea
Do    not                ignore    me

I­'d act out
I don't know
what it is about
Take a notice of me
I've been waiting patiently
for not much but all I need is
an attention for a second or three
for without I'll wilt without your sunshine
Please water me with all the love you'd do your plants
.


Don't pluck me apart
Nylee 1d
Scroll is back, or what I saw was kind of a hack,
I was sitting ready to pack.
Feeling kind of way, but I just wanted to check
Hoping everything was on track,
I keep my reaches on the stack,
wish everyone wonder and contentment.
I hope it revives back the old sentiment.
Nylee Sep 25
when I scroll, nothing loads
is it just me, or like all?
this portal, has it gotten old
it is so difficult with poetry haul.
POV
Nylee Oct 8
POV
Am I making mistakes
or living my life,
Is it softness I feel
or sharp edged knives?

how is it that the difference
I just cannot perceive?
I sweep over the floor
believe good will preceed.
it's nice to be in present tense,
where future still don't exist
in my mind, it's a void hole.
Am I being a lot dense
or is it somehow
awakening in senses.

Is it looking bright, the sun
why do I feel I am looking at the life anew,
what changed, is it a dream sequence
or the perception
Looking at it from a different point of view.
Nylee Apr 2018
The more it hurts
The more I smile
because the smile has the power
To make it useless
.
Nylee Mar 8
Slowly taking away every piece of me written from this place
My power is limited, but I love the feeling of purge
it will be fresh start, gradually and then all of a sudden
It will be blessing in disguise, a hidden current,
Stilled in backdated history, written words are not immortal.
Nylee Jan 2020
Feels thump heart
The diagnosis awry,
Emotions stick up
Eyes don't tell
Words don't spell
every thing right,
What goes wrong?
Nylee Oct 2023
Like every other person I know
                 Y o u won't choose me.
Self prophecy poem
Nylee Oct 2023
Another year, another realization,
That my thoughts are just an illusion.
They're never quite what they seem,
And time flies by like a dream.

As I get older, I forget more,
And my regrets get bigger and sore.
It's always the same,
My thoughts are like a raging flame,
Burning in every part of my frame.

But hey, it's all part of the fun,
This roller coaster ride we're all on.
My thoughts may be churning,
But I'm still learning,
And that's all that matters, I reckon.

So come closer, let's forget the lore,
Anywhere else, we'll be bored.
Let's bleed with every crime,
And make the most of our time.
Nylee Sep 23
I am so filled with the feeling
the sensation of being in turmoil
Inwardly, I do anything and I recoil
In the intense ***, internally I boil
the thoughts, they create delusion
and desires tend to make me fall
its the ground zero, I could only crawl
But this reality is self constructed
You have a superpower, to rise above
Your mind plays, the normal ways
bring up the courage, anyhow
because if you change, the world around transforms
it's all happening for reason, wait for the next season.
Nylee Dec 2018
Increase
add more
what is there
is so less.

it is endless
little still
extra need
more to feed
up to greed

no way to rid
there is a thirst
countless prayers
many faces
every day
ending with empty hands

all the resources
forces
on the toes
evolving
multiplying the lives
depleting what is left
it will end
all has been said.
Nylee Dec 2018
Which algorithm is going to understand me
understand sentiment behind what I do
It is coded for catching the patterns
For them we are just there
to generate the data to process
What insights will they create
about me when I'm just the outlier
they will remove me to get cleaner results
Generalise the problem
that it won't cater to me
technology is not the slave
they make us dance to their tune
We change, as much as they advance
Develop worse habits
change our routines
from when we were in the more happier place
to a place which comes with waves of sadness.
Nylee Oct 2019
I waited
It is live now
Buzzing with words
It feels nice
After long time
The storm begins
Nylee May 26
Would it be restful or like the way it has been
Like a swirl of ideas hanging
While my head touches the pillow
and my thoughts reaches the *****
and tumbling down I go
Revolve around the world
In a brief here, there,
my thought scraps are everywhere
Gather me in the backpack
Throw me back in bed like a sack
I need it to be restful,
All I get are eye circles
Nylee Sep 2019
It was just yesterday I revealed little of myself to you. Then again I changed within hours and discovered a little more of myself.

Standing in the mirror, the reflection and the light flicker. The candle flame added another warm shade as part of me fade away.

A plunge ahead comes with fall to follow, it is easy when we walk slow. The pace of my thoughts is lost, ahead of me in its exploration.

Someday there will be ease, hopefully with more of the inner peace. The sweater will keep me warm, my armour will save me from harm.

So open to the world and vulnerable for a second and more, shields up in moments later. Trust escapes and gets captured in a matter of time.

It is dizzy and not, words in world and too many thoughts. Aging but learning, drowning but burning, the ironies are shining bright.
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