Every lace of smoke that has filled my lungs beyond capacity...
every crystal snorted after being smashed half-assedly in haste...
every needle that has poked imploringly at skin...
every pain-filled syringe and every shame-ridden binge...
it has taught me the power of falling in love.
It is you who gives me the presence of mind to stay present in my mind,
for it would be a crime to lose even a fraction of my time with you;
and, yet, losing time with you is all that I crave.
I find my eyes shutting on impulse as I pray for the moments that we spend together to stretch on into infinity,
even the most uncomfortable, mortifying, awkward ones.
The miserable longing for a fix does not compare to the hot agony of missing you ripping through my veins,
for every moment with you is rich and full of a fervor I had not previously known before I knew your name.
You are a steady pillar to tether myself to, but you are also a curse.
For, in your absence, I am absent,
lost in the drug-induced haze that has, for many years, purged me of any residual worth.
While loving you has brought me clarity,
has taught me the value of molding my hands gently to baring souls
rather than seeking a temporary fix in powder and smoke...
loving you has also made the color in the world so vibrant
that existing in your absence renders the world too dull.
I dont know if there is anything adorable in here, but there is a lot of horror intermixed with romantic tones (which is the closest I get to adorable tonight I guess).