I was the kindest soul that ever sang to you and it turns out you never heard a word I spoke.
Claiming that maybe you just didn't need my songs to feel good.
I'm feeding myself false hope by the spoon fulls even after choking so many times.
I wish I could have learned sooner to put the spoon down - I knew it I just couldn't grasp it - the reality of losing it.
He couldn't explain his lack of love for my soul but kept my body full of greed for a year and a half.
Unfortunately, I'm a modernly woman holding on to just a string of hope thinking of all the ways I could change myself for you.

I thought I never was the prettiest picture that you'd admire each night. You told me yourself you had a gallery of others you would desire to be with for a night.
My skin still sinks so low remembering your stories about these selfish needs.
Making me feel I was never enough to love, cherish, and make a home in.
How does it feel to rip down a perfectly fine structure of a woman until she is bird bones?

I had a weak mind and constitution but continued to dance through the storm that I thought you'd save me from one day.
I was always looking for any signs of sun that I dreamt you would bring to me.
I ended up watching you disappear into the sun wishing and just praying that someday I could as well.
I asked to join but you couldn't handle it - you said couldn't understand it because you've never experienced rain like mine.
You put me through hell and I think it's my time to finally be able to breathe without your hands on my throat - don't you mind?

My first experience with love turned out to leave a constellation of scars that I'll one day look at and be able to see their beauty.
But for now, I'm still just counting scars.
But for now, I'm still battling flames you burned in me.
I didn't think I'd write like this about you,
But I can still feel the day you no longer felt like my hometown.
Coming home to you was lackluster and toxic at best - but I still drank it up like it was sweet wine.
Oh, how it still stings.

Finally, you have set me free and I can love you for that because you knew I was too weak to do it myself.
But here I stand tall - I am feeling like I'm starting to breathe and it is so divine.
I think I am floating.

One day I'll taste the sweet serenity of someone who'll listen to my songs and crave my soul and knows how to survive a storm.
But for now, I can only be my biggest supporter.
I can't look for conformation in another being without learning to love the silence.

"I'll take care of you
I'll nurture you
I'll guide you through and to anew
I'll take you so far to a place where you'll be able to build yourself better.
I love you and all your soul, body, and mind.
Don't be terrified, don't let him pull you down, don't let him fool you that he cared about you.
Let this story grow old and crinkle.
He didn't know how lucky he was."

Today I felt alone.
The kind of alone where all you
want is to talk to someone
- to make you feel whole again.

But I was never empty without them.
Just a little hollow.
A type of hollowness that everyone struggles through at some point
- no matter the mind or body.

I don't want to rely on others,
but I feel my ego is too powerful
right now to think anything else.

But let us think positive.
I do not feel sad - just slow.
Just quiet.
Just still.
Just like nature.

We are never alone when we have nature.
We just are deconstructing the concept of busyness, speed, and time.

Don't worry your mind.
This all shall pass,
but in this moment
just be still.

I'm a modern woman.
I give so much love and healing words to others,
but leave myself empty until I'm bird bones.
Maybe one day I'll learn to be more tender and love myself like a painting worshipped in the Louvre.
I'll treat my body the way I treat a lover.
I'll kiss myself up and down until I go numb.
I'll feed myself the sweetest peaches, plums, and cherries.
I'll finally see all my curves as rivers and valleys blooming endlessly with flowers the color of the setting sun.
I know this is journey that cannot be rushed into,
but my mind is more stubborn than I am.
So I must learn to be patient,
I must learn to be kind,
I must learn to give myself a minute.
I'll fake it every day until one morning I'll wake up and see myself as soft,
as beautiful,
as elegant,
as powerful
as the Renaissance women worshipped in museums.
I've looked like them all this time.

Baby, you really hurt me
letting me think that we could have been something.
I should have known months ago
when you stopped saying hello and started leaving me on read.

I would pull back
but would keep hanging on
thinking this was going to go somewhere.

If you weren't serious all you had to do was tell me.
Instead, you left me outside waiting in the storm.
Having second thoughts should have been the first sign.
Thinking I deserve someone that does not leave me on read,
but at last, I was too naive.
So I stayed waiting by my phone and waiting for that light.

But now I realize it's just too cold out in this storm.
I tried being an adult asking where do you wanna go from here,
but I guess you just didn't have the time to answer me.
That's okay, maybe I won't get this past year back,
but I have too much to look forward to than worrying about someone who just doesn't care.

Baby, you really hurt me
thinking that this was going somewhere.
Baby, don't worry I can tell you don't care about me anymore
the way I believed you did.
Baby, don't worry I'm woman enough to realize I deserve better now.

This might be over soon,
but I can not guarantee you happiness.
The mind loves to play tricks on you,
but you have to promise me not to be a fool.
Don't get lost in the silence.
Don't get drowned out by the darkness.
What happened to the days when you outshined the sun?
You never know, this might be over soon.  

You rise, eat, and work so you believe everything is alright,
but your thoughts haven't been too kind to you.
They grow wild at night and they won't make nice.
Maybe one day, they'll instead sing you to sleep.

Maybe one day you'll rediscover your love for isolation,
but lately, I feel you have been struggling with the concept of loneliness versus being alone.
It's not your fault you found love in the comfort of your bed,
but maybe one day you'll learn you can't make a home out of it.
Maybe one day you'll have hope that you'll rise again,
and shine bright like the sun like you did when you were young.

When I was 16 I was happy.
Dancing around,
having fun in the summer.
Imagining the future to be something sweet.
My dreams were vast.
My hopes were taller than cliffs.
I was having fun.

When I was 21 I was lonely.
Wasting around,
sleeping through the summer.
Remembering the past as being something sweet.
My dreams were undecided.
My hopes were scattered all around.
I was tired of crying.

Sorry if I'm quiet.
Sorry, I'm just not sure what to say,
but I hope you stick around because I love your company.
I understand if you have other plans.
Just know I'm here too.
In the back, alone, observing my surroundings.
Overthinking every little thing about everything
I'm too shy of saying.

Sorry if I'm not enough for you,
but baby, just trust me and stick around.
Let me warm up.
Let me get comfortable.
Let me sink in.
Then you will truly see my soul and all that I can give.

But I understand if patience is not your cup of tea,
and I'm not enough for you.
That's okay I'll just sit here and watch you leave.
I'll just sit back alone and watch you disappear into the arms of someone else.
Someone who is as bright as the sun
and someone exciting as a storm.
Don't mind me, I can keep myself warm.
For I have survived so many winters alone.

These days seem to grow longer,
and the flowers you gave me
have now found their way
back into the earth, starting over.
But I know I must be patient,
and I know I must be fine,
I could lie and say that I'm hopeful, that I'm hopeful,
but slowly all the hope that I once possessed is fading.
These days have no numbers.
They just drag on.

So I speak to the silence,
I'm so familiar to it now.
Why did you have to go and leave?
Please just find yourself back to me.
It's been such a long time since I felt your skin.
Please free me from the doldrums,
I'm so familiar to it now.

If you're traveling on your own,
I can be your companion.
In the mountains,
we'll carve our prays there,
and leave our footprints along the sides.
We can sing songs with birds
and harmonize with the naked creek.
We can see nothing but the abundance of old pine trees
for miles and miles.
In these cold winters, the fog walks
the grounds hiding the path.
So hold my hand and be my guide
for these hills aren't my native.
We'll make our home in the low valley.
Although you sleep in the day
and I sleep in the night,
there will always be a daybreak we could meet at.
We must be up in some north country
we must be loving our lives down in the mountains.

Where is the inspiration that I once possessed?
Where is the love that once sprouted from my fingertips?
Where are all the flowers that once grew around my feet,
with each step I took?

It seems as though
lately I've abandoned my gardens,
and left all the flowers to wilt and turn to dust.
The lives that I once cared for,
are now all scattered around the ground.

My spring light is somewhere lost in this winter cold,
and this winter has been going on for too long.
My body is numb from the breeze the December nights send me.
I once rose with the early sun in the morning,
but now I find my self serenading the moon each night.
Hoping maybe she will understand all my pain and issues.

These nights are graceless.
These nights are long.
These nights have me lost,
walking and searching for the sun.
Always ending up in places
that are just too dark.

Where is the sun that once loved me like a child?
Will I ever end up in a perfect place?
Am I just crying them to the moon?
Will this all be over soon?

I did my best to show love to you,
but I guess I'm just too much of an amateur to figure it out.
During our golden hour,
I thought that I had you locked in my heart.
But in my darkest hours,
I felt you fading from my fingertips.
I know I can't make you love me,
but you didn't have to waste my time.
You really hurt me,
leaving me to overthink.
If you have other plans, I would understand,
but you didn't have to leave my messages with no reply.
You really hurt me,
making me believe that you really loved me.

Women crave for a rebirth
and I am no exception.
I crave to hear a choir and feel the water rush over me,
leaving me with a sense of purpose and a new perspective.
I want to forget my name.
I want to see my life in a new light.
I feel it's time for me to leave my body and leave my past.
It's time for me to find my mind
because I know that it must get better than this.

So let me grow,
I believe that it does get better than this.
I have seen many women learn how to scream their own name,
over and over and over and over again.
Howling into the clouds and radiate like the sun,
and I start to wonder when my time will come.
However, I know I must learn to grow steady like the harvest
because I know rebirth is not a path that we can rush down

I once thought there wasn't any life outside of this town,
but I was okay with that because it had everything I needed.
But what do I know?
We are all so young,
running through parks,
climbing up mountaintops.
Strolling past all the shops
and driving around this town going nowhere in particular,
I thought that it simply could not get better than this.

We loved each other like the stars
I thought that nothing could separate us.
We were sure to last,
but little did we know
that all these days will belong to the past,
and everything that we always did
now live on pages on thousands of papers
and in pictures tucked away in a box of old things.

Happiness was in the air that day
when we all were together once again.
The moon shined bright that night,
lighting the path that we once drove down every day.
This city just seems so small now that I have broken all its walls.

I drive past all the places we left marks on in this city.
The now vacant houses that once held so many memories,
the lunch table where our love blossomed,
the midnight drives to the movies,
getting excited over slushies,
and the lakes we learned to float.
I look back on all these places
and think about all the things we ever did,
I simply thought that it could not get any better than this.

Setting the new year on fire.
Dancing to the sounds of Grease.
Picking peaches in celebration of spring.
Watching all the bands we ever loved.
I would forget all my stress and worries thinking about it all.
Can it get any better than this?
                                                                  
I want to thank this town for all the stories I wrote.
All the times we felt like children.
All the times we rose with the sun.
All the times I felt loved by all the people that were my stars.

As I'm driving through this town and watch it grow smaller in my eyes,
I imagine a time when I was not alone.
I know getting older can seem quite strange at times,
but what do I know?
All I know is that there is just so much to see,
and sometimes the grass isn't always green as it used to be.
But as long as I have these memories,
it couldn't get any better than this.

Do not silence me
because you are scared of my voice.
Do not look down,
but look at me when I speak to you.
Sorry if I come off as too assertive
but I speak because I can.

The fire in me burns.
With flames too big to be calmed.
No matter what you tell me, I know my truth.
You look at me like I'm wasting your time
and I should just sit quiet and sit pretty.

You talk mighty high behind my back to your men,
but do you have enough steel in your spine
to look me in the eyes?
So what are you trying to hide?
Your silence speaks enough for me
to realize you'll never be man enough
to confess your ***** crimes.

I am an army,
too big for you to fight.
I am fire and rage.
I can't keep quiet, I can't just sit still.
No matter how much you try to push me away.
I shall rise again
to declare my name.

Isn't it lovely, to be alone?
Surrounded by the quiet, peace roams.
I once thought this was a haven,
but now I don't know.

I have what I always wanted;
a room to myself,
far from my family,
and a door to close.
I ask myself, isn't this lovely?
But never have I felt so alone.

Sweetheart, let's take things slow.
Don't worry about tomorrow.
because tomorrow is a million miles away right now.
You have to understand that I'm a late bloomer,
with a lost mind.
So please be patient with me
because I am still blossoming.
I know you are ready to run
I know you are ready to fly,
but please don't let me fall
because I've never been brave enough to try.

I don't want to apologize,
but I am sorry.
I understand I can be a bit dramatic sometimes,
and over think every situation.
However, I just wish I could understand how you feel about me.
Maybe I wouldn't hold on to every little thing
if you just gave me a sign that is clear for me to read.
I've never been able to enjoy the company of another,
so I'm not sure how this is suppose to play out.
Don't leave me in the morning
feeling used and forgotten.
However, I find myself waiting by the phone as the evening passes
wondering if I should keep trying.
I'm holding on but I know I deserve something more.
It's been 9 months and it's been hundreds of miles.
Sorry if this sounds selfish,
but I can't wait forever and hold onto nothing
when I know I deserve something more.
I love your company
and in my head, we are happy
because I know you feel the same.
I don't want to sound dramatic,
but just please don't leave me in this haze.

I wish I could describe the feeling
of being high and happy one day,
and then lonely and unmotivated the next.
The truth is I'm just confused with my life right now.
It seems these days my feelings change like the seasons.
How many more sunsets do I have to watch
before I finally pull back and feel whole?
I used to wish for the days of living in my own apartment.
Never did I think I would get this lonely.
I used to wish for the days of moving to a different city with my friends.
Never did I think they would leave and it would just be me.
There are days where I am inspired,
and you can see me dancing in the sunlight.
Riding this high as far as I can.
It took me a while to realize that my life is no sitcom.
My years as a young adult
aren't playing out how I thought they would be.  
No, they are not like the ones you see on TV.
Forgive me if I sound dramatic,
but this is not the state I thought I would be in
when I was 16 and full of hope.

and then all at once, I knew
I'm just not at as happy as I used to be.
Stewert and Rose was where I was left to start anew.
I forgot all about constellations.
Everything just seems darker because
there aren't as many stars as there used to be.
I cried on my first night.
Marking the room with tears as a fresh start.
I guess it was just a little too much for me.
An empty room, sharing space,
with faces I've never seen.
Here is the place where I move on,
so maybe this is actually healthy.  
Someday I might be lucky enough to rediscover stars,
feel high again, and enjoy the summers once again.
Just like we did when we were young.

Never forget the joy of being 17 years old.
Never forget the joy of being 18 years old.
Never forget the joy of being 19 years old.
These years created a story that I'll reread for the rest of my years.
Days of slushies and singing,
days of love and summer.
Grassy fields and star gazing car rides.
The truth is I've been really lonely and distant from who I used to be.
So I stop and think that this is how growing up is actually meant to be.
It's lonelier than I thought,
but it's time to face reality.
I forever treasure our years and days together.

My silence is not poison.
So don't be scared of me.
Just vibe with me and
maybe you'll understand my words.
Let me take you higher
to a place, a place you've never explored before.
High beyond the mountains where not a sound can be heard.
A place of pure peace.
Where no storm has erupted before.
This is gold.
This is bliss.
Can you think of anything better than this?

Summer breeze,
the sun beats down on me.
It leaves me a mark,
paints me like my ancestors.
A radiant glow.
An exotic flower from the tropical
gardens of Colombia.
Just like an exotic flower from the tropical
gardens of Colombia.

American dreamer.
Southern border divide,
holding me back.
A new hope,
I dream to seek.
An escape from the land I once knew,
A place that just isn't meant for me.

Strange views,
The mainland holds.
Keeping me from something new.
I promise I'm not here to take anything from you.
I understand laws.
I understand policies.
But I'll give you anything for a hand.

Strange views.
Your word doesn't match your action.
How terrible for my copper skin brothers and sisters.
Not a chance for them to live.
Not a change for them to believe in a new.
So take our land
and take our food.
Take our love
and our culture.
But leave us in cages left to rust.

Strange views
of babies in tears
and the smell of fear
coming from grieving mothers and fathers.
As their babies are now out of sight,
separated.
What a strange view to see.
Why does this seem so familiar to me?

I love us in July,
the Saturday of summer.
Getting caught up in magic and cosmos,
killing time like it doesn't exist.
If being this carefree is a crime
then I guess we'll be locked up forever.

We sit in cars with slushies and show tunes.
Can't believe that I've never been happier.
These feelings are engraved
and they've found a home in me.  
These years were the little things
that made me love life.

Never did I imagine so much distance to invade our space.
Find us across the map and roads apart.
It's time we dance with reality.
Well, I guess time really did catch up with us.
It's time to break the news that summer does not last forever.

Every night I wonder
what it's like to feel the rush of an unforgettable night.
It's such a shame that I'm forced to crave
the comfort of home.
Just once I want to take on the night
with my fellow dreamers,
show them all my best side
seeing me feel this drink in my bones.
I don't wanna be alone tonight,
so let us ride high and show me what it's like to be still young.  
I'm tired of hiding behind crowds,
but there's plenty of room back here for me and my thoughts.
If being this afraid and alone is all I have,
well, I guess I'm destined to be a dreamer.
Prove me wrong,
I'm ready to disappear into the lights.

I've always thought the stars shined brighter
when I was watching them with you.
It was our last night together
so we spent it outside.
Under this August sky,
the stars fell that night.
This was an ode to us
because it was the end of an era.

I used to crave the feeling of solitude
but now it's eating me alive.
I understand change
I understand life isn't always going to be a supercut
but now I can look back,
and see just oh how fast these nights have truly passed.

I once dreamed out our future but it's no longer looking sweet.
We are all so far from home,
I should have known that summer doesn't last forever.
I should have known our days were numbered for something greater.
I'm proud of all the times we outshined the stars.
I'm proud of our roots,
for they run so deep
held together by galaxies.
I've forgotten just how beautiful we were
when we would chase the parking lot lights.
I've forgotten just how beautiful we were
when we meet up with the sun once again.

We were untouchable, we were on fire.  
What a rush we were.
No one could touch our flames,
but what will we do when our light goes out?
I hope to never see the dark in our days.
In my head, we were always perfect.
In my head, I never fear solitude
because I know we were rooted generations ago,
long before we rose with the sun.

Hands in the air
disappear into the lights.
This room is full of innocence and rush.
Lover, I am the one to take this slow,
Lover, you are the one dancing until the next birthday.
I know there is nothing wrong with that,
but let's not get caught up in these party lights
and focus on the moon, she shines so brightly.
She is a friend of ours.

Late to the party but that didn't stop us from celebrating.
Every night we find a new beginning,
to find a way to see each other again soon.
We were young and spinning, forever free.
Every Saturday getting lost in wild fantasies.

Now I know you're hooked on the feeling of getting older,
but learn to love your youth.
Now I know you're hooked on the feeling of attention,
but promise me to not find a new beginning without me.

As the seasons changed my location,
I find I can still feel the beats from the parties,
but they are fading as I stumble home with the moon.
The rush has you wrapped in her arms
and I am left with innocence.
I am finding grace in these passing years
but you seem to be still caught up in the lights of a different party.

I've enjoyed my nights,
but when we are sober
I'll be the one picking up the empty glasses.
This is slowly becoming a little too much for me.
You tell me that we still stand under the same stars,
but when was the last time you found beauty in the moon?

I know I am not one to enjoy getting older,
but I must learn to accept my youth as something from the past now.
Because this party ended months ago,
and every Saturday I still imagine the nights.
We were young, forever, and on fire.
Never would I imagine those party lights
to shine brighter than the moon.
She is a stranger to us now.

I woke up at midnight
and remembered the nights we would fall asleep beside each other.
Now I'm alone and in a different city.
Now I am accompanied by the moon.  

I knew change was bound to come,
but I didn't know how hard it would hit me.
I understand that this wasn't easy for you,
and I sympathize.
I was selfish to wish for you to stay,
and I apologize.
But now I know that just because you're miles away
doesn't mean we won't meet again sometime in spring.

Our summer smiles once glowed so bright,
I swore that the stars didn't stand a chance.
We were young and spinning, spinning
I swore that our souls couldn't sit still.

I recognize that roses and daisies
blossom differently.
I just wish someone would have told me that
before winter set in.

We're all on different paths now
We all have gone and moved away.
Who knows where we will be in a year from now.
It's just that these passed summers haven't felt the same.

I'm sailing away
on my own ship.

I don't need any crew
I know exactly what I'm doing

I'll be gone by morning light
to sail across the ocean.

If you want to say goodbye,
don't bother.

Instead just come sail away with me,
and we'll have the stars all to ourselves

I'll take you to all the places you've forever wanted to see.
Far and wide, there is no limit for you and me.

It's late again and the room is dim
with candle lights taking over the night.
I'm swallowed in this empty space
counting the days.
How many moons must pass by
before I finally can fall asleep?
She no longer
is enough.
I've grown old.
I've grown slow.
I find my time lost in memories,
but I think it's now my turn to find someone
who looks at me like I'm glittering.
Show me the way,
Show me the signs,
I'm forgetting how to read.
Will I win,
Will, I walk,
I've seen this road before.
I've just never made it down to the end.
Luckily, the stars saw my grief and made amends with me.
They've kept me in the dark for so long,
and now are finally guiding me
through this terrain.
Through this rain.
Through the night.
Until I find someone who can carry me back
to the candle lights.

It's the morning once again.
I feel the sun on my skin as it shines in.
The sound of today's birds are chirping inside my head.
I can feel your breath on my neck.
I soak in the moment,
because the world is so quiet at this time.
We're the only one's alive right now,
I'm so glad you're mine.

So open up the windows as it starts to rain.
Let the rain calm you.
Let my touch soothe you.
No need to think about the day and the hours,
just let them linger.
Let your stress melt in our heat,
as we lay next to each other
filling all the gaps.
I can not tell a lie,
this is my paradise.

I'll give you the sky
if you give me a minute.
Just lay down on the grass
and grow with the flowers.
Learn to love the sun
that you barricade out from your window
because one day you'll get lost in the dark,
and beg for its guidance.
Clean your soul and be in love with your life, every detail.
All I want is to see you smile.
All I want is to be with you and guide you through the winters.
Take all that you know and learn more from there.
All I want is to lay in a field
surrounded by flowers and soak in the rays
and alone we'll be until the night crashes through.
So run with me through this crazy dream of mine
that you and I are the only two left.
Every morning we'll taste the sweet dew
and every night we'll sing the sun to sleep.

I need a smoke signal.
Something loud and bright,
to save me from this state of mind.
I can't escape it.
Lord knows I've tried,
and now I've grown tired.
I need a smoke signal.

And I still wonder
what might've been.
Will I ever escape this state,
or will i just disintegrate,
and be consumed by this,
because you decided to wait.

Either way it might be over soon, soon.

Well I've carried this burden
and now I don't know how much
more weight I can hold.

Either way it might be over soon, soon.

I need a smoke signal.
Anything to not be alone.
I need a smoke signal.
Before all that's left is bones.

Love me like crazy
and I'll love you like crazy.
I'll love you until there is no til.
Until the world stands still.
The touch of your skin could keep me warm for several winters.
The stars will align and spell out our names.
The twin stars will shine just for us.
I was never taught how to love another person,
and I never learned how to love myself.
I have always walked in shadows of others
hoping one day they'd turn around,
and find me.
I was never taught how to take care of another person
but I could take care of you,
but only if you want me to,
and you could keep me out of the shadows.

All our love is different now.
All our dreams are different now,
But all the stars are still the same.
We grow different flowers.
We listen to different songs,
But the sun still shines just as bright.
It's so wild, how we all went and changed overnight.

I can make you feel loved,
I can take the weight of the world off your shoulder,
but only if you ask me to.
I can take you places,
fill all your blank spaces.
This love is silent,
so I don't speak a word
Because I am nothing like the moon.
My light will never be as bright.
I'm nothing that you'd admire from afar,
gazing at with wonder.
I thought I understood it.
That I could grasp the reality of it,
but you make it hard
because you're the stuff and dust dreams are made of.

Have I ever compared you to the stars?
Have I ever described your eyes in ways that resemble constellations?
Talk to me about time.
Talk to me about the universe
in all ways that I'll never be able to understand.
Spin me around like a clock and take me back in time
to the days when stars shined brighter than these city lights.

We don't have to say a word.
Make no noise, not a sound.
Let silence fill our ears.
Let the quiet take over the earth.
Let us float in this peace,
and enjoy the time we have together.

I had a dream, however insane, that we were dancing with the cosmos.
Twirling with the burning stars,
and playing hide and seek with the spaceships.

I know that you have to leave soon
and I know that stars don't burn forever,
but lay with me here on the ground.
We'll count sheep all night until
the sun greets us in the morning letting us know
that the night is dead and gone.

It's not my fault that I fell in love with the world in you.
I see so much life in you
and I think we should stay in this position forevermore.
We will never miss another darting star,
Whirling its way passed us breaking our silence just for a second.

I can't forget it.
I promise that I have done everything to try.
But these memories continue to cloud my mind.
The air has never
been this cold.
All my youth has disappeared
and grown old.
All the flowers I planted have died,
and the birds sound the same,
and the stars have lost all their shine.

I can't help it if I don't know how to reach out for help.
I have always preferred the pleasure of isolation,
But this silence is torturous,
And now this crowded room I created is nothing but empty space.
All this past hope is disintegrating.
I use to hold my dreams close to my heart,
But now it's drowned out by all the tears I always held back.

I know I'm only an innocent.
But my body is a gun and
my body is a resting place for all medicines.
So let me tilt my head back until I lose count.
Now I fall asleep
Now all the candles are blown out.
Now I'm at peace.
Now I'm fine.
Now the only thing I suffer from is my mother's cries.

I'll wrap up my bones
And put them in His hands.
Don't worry, mom, I know the sound of my first heartbeat,
will always be engraved in you.
I know you heard angels sing my name.
They take me to a place where I am safe.
A place that is infinite.
A place in God's name.

My love is vast.
My love is strong.
My love is driven by the thought
of you noticing me one day.
Although I am told that some love never blooms
like flowers struggling during the bitter colds.
I have nothing to offer you.
All I have are my bones.
They hold me up
on days I feel like a bird with broken wings,
but I will always love you with the lights on.
I will care for your wounds
until you're able to fly again.
Until you can reach the moon.
So play your guitar
and sing your songs.
I will admire you from afar
as you carry on.
Don't worry about me.
I'm not trying to come off as a creep
but I love your eyes,
and how they look like dark coffee.
I love the way you speak.
Each word a melody.
Every sentence a song.
I'm caught on your hook.
I could listen all day long.
I'm lost in your music
while you're lost in this madness.
So don't worry my dear,
the flowers will someday bloom.
I shall save these words for you.
I'll read them out to you,
but only once during the blue moon.

You're a sweetheart and a really brave bird.
So walk with me to the edge of the earth
and I will share you all my secrets,
and you will share me yours.
We'll tie them both to balloons
and let them go.
Lay with me down on this pearly dew-drop grass.
We'll watch the clouds travel to and fro,
just stay with me in this perfect spot.
You don't have to go.

I never thought I would fall for you twice,
but here I am writing this poem.
I'm just a dandelion lost in this greenhouse
surrounded by these blooming beauties.
But hoping, hopefully
you would make a wish out of me.
You've got this look that makes me crave adventure.
You've got mountains in your eyes
and the northern wind in your soul.
I can't remember the last thing you said to me
and that's okay.
We never talked much thanks to my anxiety.
I'm not too far but my words have failed me so many moons
how am I suppose to talk to you?
You've got your future gripped tight by the wrist
and my hands are lost in all this space.
Maybe sometime in the years to come, I'll discover your footprints
and remember my high school crush all over again.
I'll stop and think if you're out in California making coffee for people,
like I overheard you say you wanted to do in math class that one time,
or strumming a guitar solo on stage somewhere in the city.
I just hope wherever you find yourself in time to come you're happy and smiling brighter than the stars.
I know not much will happen in these last eight months we have together,
but I want to thank you for the day you introduced yourself to me because you knew no one else in the class.
I know I'm just a dandelion in this great big greenhouse,
but I'm just really happy that you noticed me.

Find me across the room,
I am the silent morning.
I've known your name for centuries,
but mines still just a foreign language to you.
My tongue is tied
and you're lost in translation,
But that's just how these things will remain.
My body sings every time
because your smile is like a melody.
You light me up
shining brighter than the moon and stars.
I'll follow your voice to the beginning of our first hellos.
You're a perfect afternoon.
We could sing away evenings with the radio.
Drive to places only we would know
where there would be nobody but you and me.
So please won't you come talk to me
because you see my words are lost
and my knees are shaking like trees in the wind.
I hope it doesn't come as a surprise that you light up the room.
Every time I see you I hold my breath
and my mind goes blank.
So I suppose I'll just always be on the other side of the room,
loving you from afar.

Feel the tide.
I am the ship.
I am the captain.
The ocean is a savage
the way it pulls my body,
slinging me around like i'm weightless.
I will not surrender to this beast.
The waves mean nothing to me.
I've been fighting this savage ocean for a century.
100 years of getting carried away across these waters.
Isolation is my home.
It's all I know.
I brought this on myself.
I ran away from land and into the water,
unknowing of the horror it holds.
But I will not surrender
I am the ship.
I will not kiss the ocean goodnight.
I will not fight.
I will float on until the day comes I greet the sea.
My lungs will sting and my head will rush.
Leave my body in isolation.
Let it be a peace offering.
So the ocean wouldn't have to carry away another ship that day.

Look at yourself,
you're drained empty.
You'll never forget it
have you even tried?
You've gone and thrown yourself into the arms of someone who isn't strong enough to keep you up.
Did he make your head spin faster?
Did he make your heart beat faster?
On nights staying up wondering if he loves you I hope you someday find yourself instead.
Love is so sick when you can't see reality.
Notice he speaks your name with lack of passion.
See how his eyes can never match up with yours.
Do you even know where all this began?
It's making me sick, love
seeing you stumble home
on nights of loveless love, he never gave you.
Sweetheart, what have you got yourself into?
Do not follow his voice it's only making you settle more.
Please just admit that you've broken your own self this time around.
After all, he has put you through
how can you even still call him lover?

You lay in a field of flowers counting each bird that passes overhead.
You've erased concern and decided to live for the moment because you always would say, "we might be dead by tomorrow."
Flowers grew from your heart and bloomed across your lungs,
creating a garden that sang the most beautiful hymns,
while my garden was withering.
Each breath you took was never wasted,
but I couldn't help but count mine like they were birds passing overhead.
Every night you would view the stars and moon with pure amazement as if it was your first time seeing them.
You gave all your love to me and each kiss was coined in my pocket.
You fell in love with me every night and I fell for all your hymns.
Soon enough the world would pass us by but I wouldn't blink because I could live off your touch for the rest of my time.
You showed me there is more in life than just one color,
but instead, the world is a whole painting with colors that can't be described.
You showed me just how beautiful the world was.
You taught me how to grow beauty from my eyes but lately, I've been dreaming and falling for stars.
Imagining what it'd be like slow dancing with the planets, getting lost in constellations.
But I'm just not ready to go yet however I do not control time.
You showed me that dying can be beautiful.
That we'll be okay because when we leave we all become one with the earth and one with nature.
So love, love me until time runs out,
until I become one with nature.

And many years later as time starts to fly by and you slowly start to watch your clock tick down, you'll know where to find me, my love.
I'll be up with stars.
Somewhere lost in the cosmos.
I'll be spinning with the planets dreaming about what it would feel like to be able to walk on flowers again.

Lay down your burden.
Lay down your arms.
Hardship is over and all is numb.
You finally get to rest.
You finally get to let go.
Fall down in the snow and let nature take you.
You are not alone, never.
Thousands of bodies are scattered on the battlefield.
They all had lives.
They all had futures.
They all ended too soon.
Go ahead and turn the snow strawberry red.
Your song will be played.
Your name will live on.
We will remember you forever more.
So rest now, my soldier.
Your brothers shall bring the peace.

We've been running with blistered feet
and weak knees for centuries.
Yes, we've come so far
but no one ever said it would be this hard.

Just lay your head to rest
you have run enough.
I've got your hand and I'm holding it tight.
You're all I have in this world
so I won't ever let go.

Don't you cry no more
because you gave your all.
It's just this time god wasn't so kind.
You put up a good fight and I'm so proud of you.

You'll finally be at peace
when these dark days are behind you.
You slayed your demons and monsters.
You did your job and you did it well.

Don't worry too much, brother,
because I won't be able to live in this world too long without you.
I'll follow you down the path and into the dark.
I won't let you die alone.
On the other side we'll just drive down the endless road back home, or god knows where.
We would always dream of tomorrow
but this time tomorrow never came.

We gave our live's to protect others.
We've come so far up the mountain
just this time got caught in the landslide
and fell all the way back down.
But look how far we got.
Look how much we've done.
Look at how many lives we've saved.
We're just two brothers born from the fire
but this is where our lives end.

I look back and see all decay,
but I won't apologize
I did my job.
We saved lives and protected the land.
We always stood tall
no matter how hard we'd fall.
I'm proud of you.
I'm proud of us.

I'm bleeding out
and all you do is watch me drain.
I gave you my heart
but you've got the devil in your soul,
so you tore it apart,
piece by piece.
I'm left with nothing but the stars
So I drink to wash away the pain it brings.

I'm your **** of the night,
but not if this drink does it first.
I'm already half drained.
All I ever gave you was everything
from the very beginning
and now you've thrown it all away.

You were once my brother
and I still believe underneath that skin,
and all your sins you're still human.
You were once holy and sane
but it's hidden somewhere lost in the dark.

All I do is drink your poison.
I let it consume me.
Every inch of my body
until I'm finally able to feel nothing.
Only then will my heart stop aching
and my body stops bleeding.
I greet the dark like it's a friend
that helped me escape.
I'm no longer here to see what happens next.
I'm gone and buried away.
My last drink was the most bitter
but it was such a relief.

We were once kids.
We were once wild.
We were once soldiers.
In the dead of winter, you greeted death.
You fell from my grip and into the darkness,
and now a hundred years have rotted away and I have never felt so alone.
I ran from the winter because war was to attached to it.
I close my eyes and I see you there on the front line.
Young and drained, you were just a body rotting away.
Full of life so you hung on with everything you had.
bang
bang
It was such an awful sound.
Only if I had taken your place.
If only you would have run the other way.
Just how unfair is our luck.

Someday I'll teach myself to learn and live alone.
I'll teach myself that death was not the enemy.
But the winter storm rages on and I'm still having trouble breathing.
Don't be alarmed.
I march on.
Like the soldier I once was.
Don't be alarmed.
I've seen many winter storms
and I have miraculously survived them all.

Can't you see that I don't want to move on?
Don't bring tomorrow because I can't take another.
My eyes are too fogged to see the light.
My minds too cluttered to think right.
I've tasted my own tears
and faced all my fears.
So here I am.
Laying on the floor.
So here we are.
Together once more.

We went wild
when all the stars came out.
We went wild
when all the flowers burst apart.
We ran across the earth barefoot
and with our electric hearts,
beating to the harmonies of nature.
There isn't anything that I desire
but the satisfaction that freedom offers.
Wrapped up in rays from the sun,
I celebrate myself,
while we sing only of glee.
You cleaned my soul
and showed me how to grow with each spring.
You pushed me through the winters
until the days when all life was reborn.