Scattered like a million stars
These pieces grow roots
Dig further into the recess
Of all that will ever be
And by time’s grace you’ll know
I’m not a hero or your enemy

What if the truth
Of your fictions could see
Boogeymen lined like an infantry
I’ve known hell since infancy
So grab my hand as we cross
To the end of the story
Curbing your fantasy
Enthusiastic with your condescension
I reserve the rights to

Tell the truth from the fiction
In all the ways that I could,
Manifest a manifesto,
Spread you thin til the feast is famished
Look how the monsters vanish
When wolves come a huntin’
I’m a howling at the moon
Comin’ now baby come in
And witness the turn about face.

Here you thought I would be a shield
But the ramparts are topplin’,
Walls give way and the drawbridge is open
They’re storming the castle
Lest you spin in your towers
Better use the smoke of your hearth
Call out an SOS, because I won’t be savin’

No I won’t be saving you,
Not when it’s all laid to rest
As the smoke clears the rubble
And the fog releases to make way for clarity
You will see I’m no hero or the enemy,
I play the part you need in your make believe
So make believe and carry it on
I am carrion or Heracles in your songs

Scatter my image,
In a million pieces
Taking root in the frame
Will I save or pillage?

The truth of the fiction is
If you had a mirror,
You could see monsters
Staring back at you,
Confession be ******,
Hells in front of you,
And in this I know,
When staring into the fires
I’ll catch you with a Birds Eye view

Forever this
Forever more,
I’m just a nobody baby,
Creating the parasols
In tell all capsules
Weathering the storm
Humming along
To the beat of my drum.

Da-dum-dum-da-dumdadum-dum-dum-da-dum-dum
On and on and on and on

As time slows for the guilty
I carry on into the flood,
Until your reveries of mysteries are but memory
In the end of your days, you will remember me.

On and on and on
Dum-dum-da-dumdadum-dum-dum

Very much Alive
Very much Here
Very much waiting for a Career

They are both orange or gingers, as in my dreams
both crazy and funny, like you and me
and in our faces, in the morning, they won't scream.

In the apartment we'll never split rent together,
between the rooms we'll never kiss in
the kitchen we'll never cook in, not for each other.

The litter boxes we won't take turns to clean
the food bowls we won't refill, like you and I never did
wiping mirrors until they glisten and gleam
and looking back now, it's a relief indeed

The bills we won't compute, pay and solve,
the fights that we'll never have.
I find comfort in our inexistent marital issues
and the divorce that we'll never have to encounter.

Yes, I do,
remember being twenty-two.

Being vapid.
Doing things stupid.
Running around without a care,
despite the scare,
still with a lot of things to spare.

And yet also on this very bed,
every night,
over naught,
agonising...
Knowing I could never do nothing,
of the future to come, powerless,
yet, all at once, fearless.

All in all, it was... confusing,...
Yet now,... old and wrinkly,... reminiscing.

growing up feels like i turned five two days ago
i've been fifteen for years
wasn't i twenty just a few weeks ago?
all my friends and i are still ten
the week is going by so slow
an entire year has passed

this year i'm turning 25; tomorrow is 30

i hope i remember to breathe

I’m faking it just to stay on top
of everything I’ve buried
longing
mistakes
regrets
sorrow
failure
heartbreak
****** desire

I can’t stay on top of it all like this
it slips out in waves
and when I try to let myself submerge in my emotions

I drown

and sink

deep

deep down


until that morning alarm clock rings.