I have been alone for many years
Haunting my own dwelling place
With crows, too afraid to approach
And human hearts beating in the distance

I wish I was dead.

There is no sparkle but only darkness
The moon casts a little light on my thoughts
I need to feed tonight
But I want solace and comfort

Everyone sees me as an enemy
A carnivorous beast, a form of the Devil
So I wish I was dead
Then the constant sting of loneliness
Would finally go away

No one could see us
Until you smashed the windows

Then you took your lighter
The blue flame flickered
And gave birth to a blaze
The blaze devoured the curtain
Smoke engulfed the both of us
We were too stubborn and proud

Neither of us walked away

Now when others walk past the house
With it's grey walls and black dust
They look into the window
Where two specters remain

There's nothing left of us
We're just two specters that remain

long ago our feet only graced the ground
now we can soar beyond the highest clouds
long ago we were fortunate to live long
now everywhere you look, there is silver hair
long ago we only knew how to boil herbs
now we can cure even the most complicated diseases

yet, we are statues
we choose to see only what our eyes can
we refuse to look into the souls of others
we reject the thought of understanding each other
refusing to let go to the ideas set by our ancestors
keeping certain people in certain places

how long will we stay in this position?

The fire ran wild
why did I allow it?
your eyes sparkled like sunlight on the waves
why did I believe it?

you started the fire
the furnace that spread far and wide
it even reached my stubborn heart-
which burned like a twig in a flame

then you disappeared
like a frightened bird that takes to the sky
you left me to deal
with the scorching heat alone
and afterwards the all consuming smoke

and even now
after the monsoon of tears
has flooded out memories of you
the burn marks remain
the scars even spell out your name.

They march to the beat of the drum
they run when their leaders tell them to walk
they compromise when their leaders tell them to
even if it means they behave like robots
they choose to be free when they know they are slaves
thinking the world belongs to them
when really it belongs to their masters
when really their masters have enslaved them with chains
that are invisible to them
but are made of iron
but the scariest thing is
when they look into a mirror and see their reflection
they are not made of metal
their blood is red, their skin made of dust
each of the robots looks like either
you or me.

A woman walks down the pavement
An image of beauty
With a red dress and the adoration of men
Her black heels click on the tarmac

A man converses with his mates
The definition of charisma
With a suit on and a beer in one hand
He commands the respect of a crowd

A little girl plays on the seesaw
With her friend who is without a name
But when others walk past
They see the little girl is alone

The old man looks at the photos
Reminders, memories of him and his beloved
Framed permanently in sepia tones
A tear rolls down his cheek

The woman walking down the pavement is lost
The man with his mates is close to breaking
The little girl feels rejected
The old man is laying flowers on his beloved's grave

For though the sun shines today
The pain remains
Their loneliness a constant reminder
A constant tormentor

Every waking hour I tread with great care
Not wanting to disturb the calm
The calm that lasts only seconds at a time.

In the past I used to walk this field
Walking without a care
I felt safe and secure, placing my feet wherever
That was a mistake I'll always regret.

One day, the sky as blue as the sea
I walked down the familiar path
Until my foot stepped on something unknown.

I heard the click.

Fire and dust engulfed me
I blew up into a million pieces
Never to be whole again.

I learned the hard way what your words are like
How they blew up my heart, my soul
Never to be regained-

But I still love you
Even though being with you
Is like walking in a minefield.

You're shouting at me
Your words cut through me like fragments
Fragments of glass
The temperature in the room is rising
I feel the heat approaching
I need to leave, escape.

I turn round and put my back to you
You grab my arm, pulling me over
So I see your face
Your eyes, the colour of water
Convince me to forgive you
Your words change, they start to extinguish the inferno

The fire is out, all that's left is smoke
Clinging to the walls of my heart
Masking all the burns I have
From all that you've put me through
Your true reflection I loathe
But I forever want to be blinded by the smoke

You're trapped
In something deep
Deeper than a cistern
You're like a helpless baby
In something deep
Deeper than a cistern
The walls are made of glass
With a sea, beautifully deceptive, within
You try to swim
Fighting a strong current
But you're no match against the tide

You're running out of air
And out of time
How did you get here?
As you look longingly at the top
You remember standing on the surface
Looking lovingly into the deep
Before diving in
How stupid you were!
And now you hate- loathe the deep
How do you get out now?

You try one last time
Pushing
Struggling
Trying to reach the top
Before an undercurrent
Sweeps you back
Confining you to the deep
You cry for help
You don't want to drown
Here in the deep

The man, dressed in a suit
Bowtie on the floor
Shirt unbuttoned, hair ruffled
Staggers to the cupboard
Where just one bottle remains
And opening with a flourish
He wonders how he's ended up like this
As he gulps the sweet poisonous liquor
He can't help but feel trapped-
Trapped in the deep.

6am. Coffee. Shower. Car.
Looks at his watch for the millionth time
For once he is only 5 minutes late
Coffee. Lift. Desk. Papers
The laptop is on. The day starts.

She trips. She screams. Bullets...
She crawls into a house. No doors. Or windows.
She curls into a corner. Bloodstains everywhere-
The walls, the floor, her clothes-

Explosion.
The ground shakes.

Papers. Desk. Lift. Car
Looks at his watch for the millionth time
For once he is only 5 minutes late
Home. Shower. Cook. Dinner.
She looks stunning tonight. The evening starts.

Screeches. Groans. Crying. Tears.
They fill the atmosphere like smoke
Coming from the fire next door.

There's nowhere to run.

She hauls herself up. Limping
She watches as the flames close in.

I used to be alive- now I'm invisible
your words were like knives
penetrating deep into my soul
I wilted, slowly bled
from your memory

but I kept coming back
trying to make my presence felt
my efforts were in vain
I was just a mist, here today, gone tomorrow

in your memory I was a spectre
a glimmer in the past, nothing more
than forgotten photographs
where you scratched out my face

I'm forever dead to you
and now I'm motionless
despite my pleads
which you simply tossed to the wind.

So it's Thursday morning
I'm lying on my bed
And with my phone between my hands
I try to get a new high score on the new game
You know the one- that one with a bird?
Yeah, that one.

My carpet is completely covered
In confetti of various shapes and sizes
Different colours, different smells
I really need to vacuum
But I'm comfortable right here
Oh look! One hundred points already!

Mom keeps telling me to get a job
Her reminders are like *****
Never ending and numbing my brain
But I'm comfortable laying on my bed
Woah, one hour gone already!
Where does time go?

So is it true that everything came from nothing
That there was one massive explosion?  
Did someone put us all here
Like the universe is one big jigsaw?
Five hundred points!
I'm getting good at this.

I wonder what my old schoolmates are doing
I heard some got scholarships in America
A couple went to university
While a bunch are in prison
A thousand points!
I should tweet about this.

The church bell in the distance strikes twelve
I wonder what I am doing here
I feel like my life is like a pencil without lead
Where am I going?

Dang! Game over. Oh well, I'll try again later.
My phone's out of battery.
I see the pile of college assignments on my desk
I get up and go make lunch.

She woke up one morning
in a prison cell
cold, damp,
the metal bars icy to the touch

She was bewildered-
how did she get there?
was it herself
or forces bigger than her?

Then she screamed
screamed until her lungs were about to explode
using her fingernails
trying to scratch her way out

She resigned
breathless, she sat in the corner
as the four walls drew closer
she prayed for someone to answer her plea

Ten years later
she sits there- barely alive
the efforts of others were not enough
to save her from this depression.

They told me monsters lived under the bed
They told me that monsters are tangible
Now the only monsters I know live in my head
And they always leave me susceptible

To doubt
And fear.

If I tell you the monsters look like me
I know that you will think I'm going insane
Maybe if I keep telling myself I'm ok I'll believe
That normality is something I can maintain

But what is normal?

They told me monsters lived under the bed
They told me that monsters are tangible
The only monsters I know live in my head
Please, I beg you, don't be skeptical.

Once upon a time
There were four pillars that held the Earth
Sea creatures, creatures with legs
Winged creatures roamed the dense green

Then in the middle of the green
Clay bubbled amongst the rocks
First was the man then came the woman
Left to their devices they cursed the green

All creatures were subjected to sin
Children of the man and woman came forth
Destruction, chaos, and holy wars were fought
Man's greed caused the great earthquakes
Which shook the pillars till they became rubble

Left the world in despair and unrecognisable
Left the world to fall
Fall
Fall...

Then once upon a time
There were four mounds that held the Earth
Sea creatures, creatures with legs
Winged creatures roamed the dense green
And all was perfect again.

The wine I'm drinking isn't strong enough
To dissolve the bitter taste you left in my mouth
No amount of liquor I consume
Could ever be as intoxicating as you
Then as I lie alone in bed
With tears as my only company
I try to hate the fact that I loved you
The fabric conditioner I use
Has long since erased your cologne
And I'm grateful of that, I think.

The wine I'm drinking isn't strong enough
To dissolve the bitter taste you left in my mouth
But I still have another bottle.

I should be asleep by now
But the moon's rays penetrate
The deepest parts of me
Lighting up the whole room
Yet I'm still shrouded in darkness
It's the full moon tonight
I heard strange can things occur
I wish that I was ordinary
Yet I seem to be sensitive
To this magnetic light
I should be asleep by now
I should be asleep by now

The dust of the battle has settled
Carnage replaced by rows of red flowers
A permanent reminder of the hurt that was caused
Then stood the survivors-
You and me

Though we fought
Aiming guns firing sharp words constantly
Piercing our sense of being-
We gave in, shook hands, made peace.

It's way way past what bedtime should be
What time even is that?
The neighborhood is quiet
The occasional drunk walks by
His path illuminated by crystals in the sky

I close my eyes and count imaginary sheep
One, two, three, four...

I'm bored. I sigh. I roll onto my front.

I wish I could shut down my thoughts
As easily as turning my laptop off.

Five, six, seven, eight...
My eyelids are dropping...

I groan. I reach to my bedside table.
I turn the alarm off.

Why do I always fall asleep
When it's time to wake up?

rivers flow through the garden
you hear the sound of gregarious laughter
we are laughing
our hearts pounding to the same electric beat
we are buzzing

the sky is free from clouds
you see us fly
we are flying
along the tallest mountains
until we see cloud nine
and rest on it for a while

all of us see the rivers speeding
speeding toward the edge
where they cascade down the waterfall
we realise the cloud we sit on
is made of air, and the happiness it gives us
is only temporary

as we plummet
we hit the ground, hard
all laughter and joy is gone

we wake up, the same place we were
on the cold concrete floor
underneath the bridge
where our journey began

we look at each other
we're drunk and broke
and as we inhale that toxic smoke
we return to the garden.

Why did I let this happen?

My beating heart started pounding
Electricity sparked through every vein
A fire started in my brain
Till my system was overriding

Everyday I needed you to leave
My pounding heart wanted you to remain
With no sense left I became insane
Arteries exploded and you let me bleed

And for what?

I remember laying there almost dead
Mom's words entered my conscious thoughts
About how you were seriously flawed
Though I tried hard to forget it

But guess what?

I still want you back.

I'm the slice of glass
wedged in your throat
cutting, tearing apart
at your voice, your soul

I'm the gun
aimed at your heart
ready to shoot down
your hopes, your dreams
in a split second

I'm the handcuffs
chaining your hands together
you're under my control
even though I want to let you go

I'm the girl
you used to love dearly
before I disappointed you and hurt you badly
I caused you so much pain- I didn't mean to
but now it's time for me to go.

On top of the world
Watch me as the sun shines
Rays surrounding my silhouette
Watch me as the sun shines
Fire coursing through my veins

Fire
Wisps of smoke trail from my skin
Memories long forgotten emerge
As I slip, sliding off my throne

The crown fell first.
Afterwards the scepter was taken
From my hands by the unfriendly wind

Don't watch me as I fall
My robe trailing behind me
I look like the condemned angel
Only I'm without wings

As I plummet faster and faster
I catch light
I know someone will be wishing on me
Don't watch me as I fall

They said he made light and angels
They said he made some magic garden
So why do some angels live in hell?
They have clay skin and healing hands...

And no-one thanks them

But they keep helping
They receive no reward
Except pain
The pain feels like they stand in flames

And even in the smoke
He sits on his throne
No thank you, not pat on the back
Until the angels wither
And become black ash on the ground

Serene
Looking at you takes me back
To that paradisal garden
Where we used to pick roses

Roses are the colour of blood.

Petal by petal, life fell apart
Until there was nothing
But a thorny stem

No one wants to help you
When you are the cause of scars

So you pretend
Pretend like nothing happened
Pretend that you have no negative emotions
Pretend that Eden hasn't turned to Hell...

Until the only evidence of your soul
Lies in your eyes behind each iris

Some say that life is like a pencil
It has a point
And just like a sharperner sharpens
Others can change your direction
Your traits, ego
For the better

But I say life is like a pencil point
It's sharp, but quickly gets blunt
Unusable, dull
And just like a pencil point can break
When it's at it's sharpest
So can a life end suddenly
Fragile, indiscriminate of who you are.

The sand underneath his feet is warm-
the sun shines in an empty sky
with the sea, as blue as the playdough
he had as a child

The sea, now resting was once furious-
the wind tormented it for hours
hours that he would always remember
when the wind laughed in his ears
and possessed the boat

As he looks at the sea tears rain from his eyes
the memory of seeing others like him
grabbed by the wind
tossed, shoved, pulled, pushed, before being thrown
and swallowed by the raging sea

now he stands on the shore on the beach
the view is similar to home- but not quite
he stands in a foreign land, with nothing
except his shoes and rags for clothes-
and he holds a baby, but not his.

She walks familiar streets with her head to the floor
a single crystal falls from her eye
and races down her cheek
she passes the church full of memories of her past
memories as grey and broken as the gravestones

she walks familiar streets with her head to the floor
walking through the city centre
crowds rush towards the same meaningless purpose
to them everyday is the same-
but to her her heart is as complete as the smashed shop window

she walks familiar streets with her head to the floor
the garnet high up above her shines
illuminating the aquamarine sky
but to her the world slowly fades-
it turns from colour to sepia to grey.

It shines brilliantly as it goes up high
a flash of white illuminating the whole sky
Bringing fear to the most valiant men
even causing the intelligent to become insane
As it descends down towards the floor
women children, away they go
as far away as they can manage
they don’t want to be part of a wreckage
And as it hits the ground on that humid night in May
not one soul there will ever again see the light of day.

Running through the wood
The girl is running
In hot pursuit is the enemy
The enemy behind her-
She darts to the left
Almost tripping
She needs to get away
Away from the enemy
Suddenly
She leaps forward
A river in front of her-
She plunges
Icy waters **** her in
She reaches the other side
Only just
Has she escaped,
Escaped the enemy?
Exhausted
She turns round,
Looking down into the water
She sees a reflection
Terrified
Drenched
She runs again
For she has seen once more
The enemy.