There was a time
within me
I wanted to be
an actor
beaming
on stage
or a screen
big or small
no matter to me
after all
The exposure is nice
I guess
and all that kind of stuff
but that’s not what drew me to it
Just being an actor
was enough

I enjoy performing
and have a memory
for lines
One of those people
who can quote
a whole movie
It plays in my head
can fast forward
and rewind

But it’s easy to recite
the work of another
One who already
searched within
and discovered
what to emote
the affect
and such
To replay like a puppet
That’s not saying much
Could I nail
the scene
and get the feeling right?
When other actors work with me
maybe they might
get inspired
to the point
they become lost in the scene
We’re reliving
the story
A fantastic team
When the director yells
“Cut!”
all applaud and cheer
Tears in the eyes of some
touching memories
they hold near

The performance
The “art”
that’s what matters most
A singer belting out a song
or a comic
at a roast
The thought of it now
gets me giddy
and inspired
but yet
here I sit
In my chair
I am mired

Never took that step
Overcoming
all that fear
My doubts and insecurities
Worry how much others care
That fear
of failure
or that I wouldn’t
“measure up”
A deer frozen
in headlights
I am forever stuck

And as the time continues on
The days, and months and years roll by
Which is the greater loss?
If I failed
or never tried?

On a moonlit night I ask you to dance
Here take my hand just take a chance
Don’t be shy; Don’t be scared
There is nothing for you to fear
I’ll wrap you in a wild romance
All I ask for is one chance
I’ll guide & lead and show the way
Just follow me; it’s okay
I’m a partner like no other
In no time I’ll be your lover

Dance with me and you’ll forget the rest
Simply put I am the best
Quickly I will take you over
Your defenses you will lower
You’ll say your vows; You’ll say “I do”
Trust me this much will be true
But when the honeymoon does end
That’s when all of it begins
I’ll show you the true side of me
A side before you did not see

I am possessive
I am controlling
It comes on quick
There is no warning
Lose your friends
Lose your family
The power I wield
is uncanny

The music’s changed
The lights have dimmed
A dance of virtue
is now of sin
You try to leave
but I won’t let you go
Your soul is lost
Time’s pace is slow

An empty shell
you will become
No more happy
No more fun
A slave to me
is all you are
I cut your flesh
I leave a scar

A quiet scream
inside you make
And when there’s nothing
left to take
I still take more
I take it all
Because of course
if you recall

You married me
You did your part
You said your vows
Till death we part
Now it’s time
to cash that in
Here you lose
No one wins

All because you took a chance
On a moonlit night when I asked you to dance

Am I intense?
Well, I guess that depends
If the message is sent
But to you we're just friends
Has the mood become tense
So that now it must end
In my plan, threw a wrench
All advances suspend

Should not need a defense
Or your feelings defend
Does not work if against
Can't distort, twist or bend
Don't want you on the fence
Later something to mend
Take me out; Ride the bench
Simply followed the trend

A pursuit would be dense
Broken message I'd send
How you felt came and went
Not returning again
Everything said I meant
But I will not pretend
'Cause my love's not for rent
And my heart I don't lend

Always walking that line
Always tempting fate
All these temptations calling me
I attempt to numb pain

Got the temperature rising
Know I can be temperamental
My temper’s ‘bout to unleash
Doing something regretful

A temporary escape
From two to ten on the dial
The temper-tantrum and screams
Like a tempestuous child

Perhaps a temporal shift
Like Anty Em’ on the farm
The tempest carries away
Ship wrecked alone I am gone

My template shows me the way
Temptress I can not escape
Contemptuously I have temperance
Finding tempo ‘til break

A temple shrine I pay tribute
Silently contemplate
Lord please grant me forgiveness
For my wrongs and mistakes

Each day is a day like day had before
I don't know if I can take anymore
There's pain in my bones; Weak feeling and sore
I question myself what this life is for

Don't know what's ahead; Don't know what's in store
As happiness hides behind a locked door
The pressure, it builds to find it before
The hourglass now has emptied what's stored

The light from me left; Although I'm not sure
If ever I had a light that was pure
My soul's on death's bed; No hope of a cure
The word's left unsaid; I'll always want more

Waves lapping against the rocky beach shore
Each time takes away; A heavenly chore
Was true of my joy; A tunnel was bored
Inside from my soul true self of me poured

I ******* out myself like a *****
Each day is a lie that I can't afford
I wish I was maimed; Insides had been gored
I can not explain; Knight falls on his sword

But I am no knight; More like one who's poor
Been chewed up, discarded; Fruit with no core
Tried sharing with you; A piece of me tore
But know you disliked; Did nothing but bore

This poem is not new; These words said before
I've whined and cried too like those I deplore
A task left to do; Must settle the score
Each day starts anew; Be happy once more

The zeros and ones, all the zeros and ones
It is time to dive in to some binary fun
Just the zeros and ones, all the zeros and ones
We're not ready for this
But too late
It's begun...

In this game that we play
There's no way can be won
And no doubt that someday
All mankind is outdone
But "no way" they will say
"Just relax and have fun"
'Cause there's always a way
Not the absolute 'none'

Good luck never can stay
Of the minimum one
An anomaly may
Find a way to outrun
All the safeguards in place
What you spin is now spun
This new enemy faced
Can't be beat with a gun

Giving birth to a race
Artificially one
That's not from outer space
People smart are now dumb
We can't keep up the pace
So we will be outrun
Relegated to slaves
Or perhaps we're just "done"

Nothing more than a waste
Have a purpose that's 'none'
Masses taking up space
Can not hide or outrun
Destined to be erased
Yet somehow we're still stunned
Ending the human race
For A.I. has now won

Brain, brain go away
Don't want to listen one more day
Already lonely and afraid
Feel insecure and full of shame

Brain, brain don't act this way
You're always angry; Filled with hate
You know we're joined; Can't separate
Yourself your punching in the face

Brain, brain what can I say
To make it so you see things straight
Don't know how much more I can take
Of constant warring and debate

Brain, brain it's getting late
This journey's not some endless race
Life's flying by and at this pace
Forget a win; Not gonna place

Brain, brain let's medicate
I'll feed you drugs and we'll sedate
The only way to mitigate
Discrepancies we generate

Brain, brain we sadly waste
This outcome feels like it was fate
But never was there a sealed date
Fulfilling what we self-create

Brain, brain so much we faced
Success so close could almost taste
Instead our tail we always chased
We'll die alone sad and disgraced

Inside
       of  
           my    
               head
            
                        Entombed  
                                 is  
                                      a   
                              
                         B   R   A   I   N

                                      Can’t
             ­                                shake
                                                      this    ­        
                                                        ­   feeling
                                                       ­    That  
                                                             ­it’s
                                                             ­not    
                                                      ­       the      
                                                            s­ame
                                                     Infected sickness
                                                Covered with dull pain
                                         A rabid                          werewolf
                         ­             I’m trying                             to tame
                                     Almost off                              the leash
                                    I tug at                                    the reigns
                                    Hold              on  ­       with       sheer will
                                    Have          nothing   ­    to                 gain
                                
                           ­        My                       efforts;                  A joke
                                   Fighting               a freight                   train
                                    Through              gr­it teeth             I smile
                                      Demeanor             ­                       I feign
                                          Failure          ­    coming            soon
                                      ­       My life,         one more        stain


                                             ­                    Lost
                                                          ­         sight
                                                                ­      of
                                                                ­      it
                                                                ­        all
                                                   ­               To
                                                              w­hat
                                                            ­ it
                                                 pertains
                                                      ­I
                                                    am
                                              sinking
                                                down
       ­                                            Spinning in
                                       the drain
                                                    An
                                               endless
                                              battle
           ­                             Forever
                                     the
                                bane
                           ­  Of
                      my
           existence

            No                   longer                    I’m                   sane………

There will always be change
That much is the same
Yet it's not the change
But the chains
That mire me

I admired
She knew
It was nothing new
Us two
In this game
The one that we played
Where the rules displayed
That the game
Was not spoken
Or displayed

A cat and mouse chase
Set at tortoise's pace
Torture gladly I take
While I patiently wait
Possibility's sake
Of a move I might make

Never whole
since in this hole
I fell
A bottomless well
and since time started here
(when all of time stopped)
this spell
I’m under
makes me not well

The company
I’m in
a grin
One who spins
A tale to weave
of make believe
These items to sell
Story he tells

My brain
set on fire
from his grinning
Cheshire
The maniacal laughter
and madness
inspired
I’m tired
I’m mired
Situation is dire

Without choice
he is hired
All thoughts are rewired
Has risen to “Sire”
This liar and thief
Plays *****
and cheats
I’m beat
can not win
Left to stare at that grin

I live in a world filled with empty lies and broken promises.
People projecting a facade like cheap veneer.
And here I am, a living contrarian following popular beliefs.
A paradoxical quagmire lost in the fog
while also grabbing my hand and leading me forth with guidance

Wanting what I can't have
And having what I don't want

I am a living contradiction

Often feeling like I am a real life theatrical performance
The true meaning of comedy and tragedy
But is it all real or just the show inside my head?

I sit alone in the dark
Will you turn on the light
Will you burn oh so bright
So I learn to feel right?

Overcome by the fright
Now my chest's feeling tight
I scream into the night
What is wrong and what's right?

From the shadow's, a glow
Hear a voice I don't know
My own fairytale show?
Nope, it's just an echo (echo) (echo)

My life is filled with endless apologies

Sincere and heartfelt promises that are shallow and empty

It's not a conscious thought
The words aren't spoken with known deceit or intentional mal-intent
But somewhere in my brain, buried in my subconscious, I know...
A self-sabotaging automated programming constantly running
And regardless of my cognitive actions or conscious thoughts, desires and intentions
My automated programming will find a way to inevitably run its code, follow its routines and execute its prime directive

And that's not a cop out
They're still my actions
Conscious or subconscious
Actions resulting from subconscious "thought" are those I'm too ignorant to see or too weak to change in that moment

I don't know what's worse
The subconscious lies and heaps of horse fertilizer, day in and day out, I shove down the throats of those who cross my path
Or the incessant feed of regurgitated words, phrases, thoughts, ideas and worst of all.... hopes.... that is being forced through my digestive track only to be excreted by my body and re-absorbed by my central nervous system

Hope

The worst trick of all

And it always works. Without fail
Why?
Because it psychologically and emotionally preys on everything I want to be
The Hope that THIS TIME I'll get it right
THIS TIME I won't FAIL
All those things inside of me
All of my
......
Potential
.......
This time it won't be wasted
This time I'll come through. You can count on me!
I promise!
This time I'll be on time
This time I won't be late!
This time I'll meet expectations
This time I'll EXCEED expectations!
This time I won't let people down
This time I won't....
                                 .....
                                    ..... let
                                               ME

                                                      .­....down

Hope

The saddest and ultimate cruelty of lies
Created by the Devil to prey on the weak and gullible
If Hell is living your worst day over and over again for eternity;
Then repeating the same detrimental behaviors over and over again for life, sustained in this perpetual motion by something so simple and harmless looking as "Hope" must fall at the Devil's hands

A wolf in sheep's clothing sprinkled in fairy dust
The worst of thoughts and beliefs are kept alive by Hope
Hope is a disease; a psychological virus
A damaged idea spreading from person to person, hijacking their system, and infecting their thoughts
For Hope is not a singular idea, isolated in seclusion, yet ultimately wrapped up and packaged out with other ideas
No, Hope is the vehicle that all thoughts that follow must ride in and by which be delivered
It is the Uber for ideas that follow
And like an unscrupulous and unpitying Uber driver,
Hope takes your brain to a secluded spot against its will and does as it so pleases
But unlike survivors of such horrific events
I, like a wide eyed doe in the headlights
I continuously expose myself to the exact same scenarios
over
and
over again

But not to worry

Eventually,
Hope will lose its magic
And the void created will be filled

By,

Regret,
Resentment,
Animosity,
Self-doubt,
Self-loathing,

And worst of all,

Denial

Denial is Hope's evil twin

The not so secret malicious trickster who, even though wears his emotions somewhat more clearly, is still capable of a lifetime of successful pranks

But unlike Hope, Denial doesn't always reveal his trick if the tricked has yet to become aware of the ruse
Instead, Denial will let them build
Stack upon stack
A colossal suspension bridge built and supported on Denial
And when I, with blind faith, cross that bridge
Putting everything and anything on the line, without question
That's when Denial delivers its reckoning
And in one all encompassing swoop it swallows me whole and any resemblance of "life" with it

Hope and Denial
My Atlantic and Pacific Oceans
and Me, a tiny island
Flanked on either side by the endless majesty of each
And like this planet,
I too,
Am a sphere spinning
A tiny island against the enormities of the the deep blue
A shipwrecked survivor
Floating on the driftwood of my subconscious
Left to the will of my environment
A helpless passenger on this ship of life
Constantly spinning between Hope and Denial
Some days calm and serene
Others, tormented by storms
Monster waves,
Flashes of lightning,
Ear shattering crackling explosions of thunder
And howling winds so fierce they must be the breath of God

And regardless of what scenario lays before me,
I'm left repeatedly with the same "choice" and same action

Enveloped with fear,
Hanging on for dear life,
Like a helpless and horrified child.....

On the verge of soiling my pants

For so long I have loved you and
This much I know is true
But now I find
For the first time
I fell IN-love with you

Let’s talk about my intuition
Talk about a brain that swells
I saw it coming to fruition
Easily for you I fell

Suspicions were a friend to you
Made me your toy; I would not tell
My nightmares and my dreams came true
Sequestered in your prison cell

Do all the ***** things you do
You’re Heaven and my private Hell
Just say one thing when I come to
And no more hear the ringing bells

Those words, please tell me, “I love you”
With earnestness, to me you sell
I don’t care if it isn’t true
You are my fix and I’m not well

So “dose” me up; I need to sooth
And fill this lost and empty shell
Drunk on your love; You are my *****
The cost of this I do not dwell

A choice I made yet did not choose
You instantly had cast your spell
Too blind; I did not see the ruse
An easy ‘mark’, no need to sell

Tried for a stew but made a soup
The drifted parts will never gel
No question, for sure I’ve been duped
I clearly hear the banging knell

Forever stuck within this loop
A never-ending carousel
You took my soul with one fell swoop
I said ‘hello’, you said ‘farewell’

My eyes I wish I could remove
And change them with another
Yes, it's true
That they are blue
Just like those of my mother
Not how they look
The reason why
I wish they would unscrew
If I did wear
A different pair
Perhaps a different view

Oh, please dear friend
Just briefly lend
If not two then just one
It's all I need
To plant a seed
"Before" can be undone
The way you see
How you view me
Wish for me same was true
But my eyes frown
As they look down
Don't see things like you do

Pathetically
I try to flee
But can't outrun myself
My destiny
Forever weak
Success put on a shelf
If just a peak
A passing streak
Please give me something new
Ask for one scene
Where I could gleen
An image that is true

A sparkling sheen
But in between
The lines I start to skew
Awake or dream
Not what they seem
Instead a nightmare drew
Why can't I find
Place in my mind
A honed in frequency
To feel sublime
Like all is fine
Replace my cup of tea

If for one day
Saw things your way
Beliefs maybe could change
Instead I lay
In bed I've made
Forget eyes, need new brain

Deferred thought my mind speaks
but unable to reach
Since, lacking proper fuel
words are no more than tools
Idly on the shelf
All alone by themselves
Whether each has the skill
Makes no difference still
Needs a user to wield
The brain must be unsealed
Else it's nothing but noise
And will only annoy
To communicate one
Has to pay attention
And your message think through
It is important to

Listen right back
Without barbs or attacks
Open-mind speaking freely
Add diplomacy
Must employ use of tact
Support statements with fact
Do not rush; take your time
Critical? Then be kind
Not a must to agree
Can't force someone to see
Each of us has his thoughts
Throughout life we are taught
There are social patterns
Easily to discern
So, wherever you fall
Do not build up a wall

Keeping out you will win
As you lock yourself in
Rigid form without flex
New ideas will perplex
Ignorance and denial
Grow into a pile
On island alone
Statue made of stone
In your mind you’re entombed
Happy life is now ruined
Feeling always against
With a paranoid sense
A refusal to see
An unwavering tree
But a tree can still bow
Give and take it will show

Rigid thoughts become firm
Close your mind; will not learn
Placing all of the weight
Just for you; here to take
And must always support
Forcibly will contort
Having flex we adjust
This in life is a must
Something we can not do
Like to uncook a stew
Won't exist very long
People just not that strong
Or should they try to be
A journey incomplete
Happiness lies within
On these words please don’t spin

A sole island you're not
Harmony should be sought
Infinite universe
You can’t always be first
Finding balance in life
Like to see without sight
Each of us wants respect
But to give is to get
Listen up before talking
Use foot and start walking
Will find in due time
Not to bother or mind
People are free to think
From each other we drink
How we grow and evolve
Complex problems we’ll solve

Not a perfect system
But we gather wisdom
Always strive to improve
It’s the best we can do
To communicate we
Open our minds to see
And try to understand
Flawed and kindred humans

In this game we call life
All the actions we take
Doesn't matter compared to
Impressions we make
Siloutte, the reflection
Lasts after the date
Like a scent in the air
That is ever so faint

Water marks on the floor
Finger tips with spray paint
Or a warm summer breeze
In that moment feel great
A mark left on a cushion
Or lively debate
Color outside the lines
In good fashion, be late

With a frown upside down
Bring a smile to their face
And when life's full of pain
Reaching out to erase
Needing only an ear
To support and embrace
A foundation together
Creating a base

Don't look back; time is now
Not a second to waste
There's no need to ask how
Take a step; set the pace
Form an infinite "Wow!"
Life before is replaced
Through adversity plow
The God's nectar you'll taste

There is love in this world
I’m quite sure it exists
But each day all I see
Is the venom we spit
Not a fact that is true
During times face to face
Blatantly not displayed
When we share the same space

It’s much different — the world
Pictured on my TV
So much hatred and anger
We’re fed constantly
This not done by mistake
It’s a view-point that’s skewed
Days are lost and forgotten
Of unbiased news

In a way it’s an outcome
That’s obvious though
After all, they're a business
Competing to grow
Their conglomerate masks
— To confuse purposely —
Help conceal the ubiquitous
Corporate I.D.


But before I begin
To get into all that
How 'bout where currently
Social media's at
Dude, the polarization
Is out of control
People talk but don't listen
So, how can they grow?

There are those type of people
Who always complain
Constant ranting on Facebook
“The world's gone insane”
Sharply pointing their fingers
At others to blame
With a mind that's closed off
Never willing to change

Thus, myopically they
Venture out in the world
Base reality skewed
Thoughts of others — “absurd”
In their brains, nothing new
As they follow the herd
Those who think like they do
Are the ones that get heard

Constant posting of thoughts
But their goal not to find
What is factually true
Or to open their minds
Seeking others with whom
Rhetoric they opine
All who share the same view;
Somehow thinking that's fine


A time not long ago
When engaged socially
Often effort was made
As a slight courtesy
Certain topics you stayed
Far away from to keep
Things polite and in no way
Profane or obscene

Like religion or money
Such topics, taboo
Politics — the trifecta –
One should avoid too
In mixed company
Talk of such things would be rude
Due to strong held beliefs
In a cinch; start a feud

But today we’re ‘connected’
And openly share
Every thought in great detail
We do without care
Not a second is taken
To stop and just think
Acting on every impulse
‘The Kool-Aid’, we drink

Taking sides; choosing teams
Mindset — “Them versus us”
If you think like I do
Then, you’re someone I trust
Else, you’re ‘foe’ — ‘opposition’
I spit at and cuss
You become less than human
And here lies the crux


You may have an opinion
Or strong held belief
About various topics
Obscure or decreed
But when faced with somebody
Who doesn't agree
Do you take time to listen
Or just wait to speak?

You’re entitled to feel
And to think like you do
These same rights must extend;
Other people get too
Disagreeing is fine
Might not share the same view
But each other respect
It’s a simple virtue

Just because I have thoughts
Not aligning with yours
Doesn’t give you permission
To pull out a sword
A belief is by nature
What’s held in our core
Each is free to believe
This, endowed when we’re born


And with this I must add
Aggregating a thought
You think “different” is bad
When in truth, it is not
There’s a reason ‘vanilla’
Is used as cliché  
“Variety’s the spice of life”
— As they say

All our differences truly
What makes humans great
Shared opinions discussed
And put up for debate
But like cooking a meal;
Serving many who ate
Perhaps some don’t enjoy
Yet, for many “It’s great!”

So, kick back and relax
There is no need to stress
What you feel and conclude
May not be like the rest
But alone or in pack
Your thoughts make up what’s YOU
Suppositions, impressions
And your points of view

If you have strong beliefs
Publicly that you share
Doing so with conviction
There’s no need to fear
Realize opposition
Must also prepare
We can argue; debate
Just please, “Handle with care”

Therefore, I’ll respect you
I ask please, respect me
After all, we’re all people
Our thoughts should be free
We can think how we want
Basic truth — we decree
It’s a right shared by all
Like the air that we breathe

If something dramatic should happen to me
And by ill chance my time is now through
How would anyone here at Hello Poetry
Be informed; They would not have a clue

No delusions of grandeur or somehow believe
It would matter to more than a few
But I know that for me there are many I read
And look forward to anything new

If I checked and I see nothing new on their feed
Would be curious what happened to
Know that they hopefully are okay; Possibly
Just got busy like most of us do

Understand, doesn't change in the slightest degree
Could not help in some way; I'm no fool
But don't like to be left in a dark mystery
Take a test but results kept from you

Throughout life there are things in and out we will weave
Separate paths, we walk in our own shoes
Some are mandated, others though we choose to seek
Course was set when the winds of change blew

So no judgments are passed if to write poetry
No more time or you feel you outgrew
Only ask if you could, a small note when you leave
People here maybe care about you

May seem weird in some way or just hard to believe
Someone you never met; Barely knew
You have touched them somehow deep emotionally
Planted seeds are developing roots

There are people who care because they're human beings
And love for each other just proves
They have souls full of goodness and deep empathy
Treat each other how we're supposed to

It together creates a strong society
That's a caring and closely knit group
In this place we express and are totally free
Without fear or the pained ridicule

So sincerest of 'thanks' I deliver to thee
Can't express my complete gratitude
Evey bit of your kindness and commentary
A bright light from your heart shining through

All of you are so special and fully unique
Every message is honest and true
Reaching into your souls; Tear it off as you speak
Is commendably full of virtue

Do not let your voice silence but if you do leave
And decide that you must say 'adieu'
I cherished our time; Whether was long or brief
It was special 'cause shared it with you

I'm tired
Of fake rainbows and fools gold
Of the best of intentions with little to no action
Of giant smiles through biting teeth

I'm tired
Of caring too much and not caring enough
Of either feeling helpless or hopeless
Of running myself in circles while not doing a thing

I'm tired
Of all the warning signs being there but no one seeing a need to warn
Of innocence lost and hope forgotten
Of lotteries with no winners, just losers

I'm tired
Of those with blame being held blameless
Of all the finger pointing but never introspective
Of an endless need to consider everyone's feelings while simultaneously no one cares

I'm tired
Of dishonesty from those in positions of power
Of distrustful actions from those we're expected to trust
Of money buying impunity

I'm tired
Of being too lazy to have patience
Of being part of the problem and not part of the solution
Of trying to deal with my paranoia when someone's clearly out to get me

I'm tired
Of endless waves of pity but never an open heart
Of technology connecting us yet making us less connected
Of the traditional definition of 'face-to-face time' replaced with things like Facebook or FaceTime

I'm tired
Of togetherness only after we've been divided
Of lives of youths spent by a misspent youth
Of tragedy happening without warning with clear warning signs

I'm tired

Of no one being able to agree and that's the only thing agreed upon

My appetite's insatiable
I never seem to get my fill
Each time we're done, can't wait until
The next time I'll be tasting you

Don't know if this talk makes you ill
My heart I share; my guts I spill
One thing's for sure, these words are real
I speak the truth; my lips aren't sealed

The animal can strike at will
He's restless; hungry; won't sit still
When urges rise and overfill
Alarm is sounding; not a drill

Not looking for some base cheap thrill
Connection that will give me chills
Struck through my heart: nothing but quills
Drown in your love; mutating gills

Accept the cost; please send the bill
Without you, lost; you are my pill
Like coming frost; destroy and ****
All reason tossed; both ways have nil

There is no more happiness
Only the pain
Exist without meaning
I'm trapped in my brain

Each day brings a struggle
I don't want to meet
A white flag; I surrender
Accept my defeat

I'd say I 'miss you'
But can that possibly
convey the true
sentiment
of how I feel
each day?

I say 'no way'
A torment
is laid
A sacrifice
that must be made
This road before
I've paved
but this time
with new waves

No longer the waves
of goodbye
Yes, it's true
before we tried
Tears were cried
A mountain climbed
But alas,
it was not time
The bells hath not chimed

What is due
is due in due time
And good times
are what await
While I sit here and wait
Though my wait is over
For no more
will I second guess
I know who's best
Forget the rest
It is you I will hold
against my chest

A treasure chest
but not filled
with cliche jewels
and like items
No, instead
filled with what is
truly priceless
What money can't buy us
What each of us
is searching for
Longing for
Like a knock upon the door
or a child wanting more
Not prepared
for what's in store
Like one who's out
begging and poor

For so long
on the 'other' side
But not this time
for that time
has ended
and in the end
all wrong is now right
because I have you
right by my side

No longer that fear
that I kept inside
Wanting to run
Go away and just hide
But no matter
how much I try
(which I admit isn't much)
I can not hide
what I have inside
for you
Yes, it's true
A love that is true
Complete in its virtue
An everlasting truth
So cozy and cute
Like an old couple
smushed together
in our favorite coffee booth

But no toll
at this booth
More like
a 'kissing' booth
A carnival fair
Cotton candy
in the air
Along with the
ever-present
and ever-lasting aroma
of love
that together
we share
Hand-in-hand
Sit or stand
and into each other's
eyes we stare

To others
may not seem fair
But we're too love struck
to care
Our hearts
with each other share
A caring so deep
That a trench
in the sea
still couldn't possibly
in any way effectively
convey what we see
What we feel
What's inside you
and inside me
How we
just 'BELIEVE'
I feel it
Don't you?
I know you do
You feel it too
We've known for so long
What we now know is true

So, here at the end
our story begins
An epic journey
of sadness, heartache and loss
But the price must be paid
And in full payment we made
Day after day
But the cycle we break
Having cost us the cost

All that sh*t we just tossed
No more carrying of weight
Mark your calendars
This date
Because the waiting
is gone
I can finally see straight
Warm inside
Feeling great
And with one foot
First step I take
As we take the plunge
I would dive off of the Sun
or forever I'd run
Do all that must be done
You are now
and always have been
my number one
Never a contest
to be won
It was yours from day one
And will be forever
till time is done

I love you.

I'm a frightened little boy who's scared, lost, and confused
Wanting desperately to feel protected from
Nightmares haunting when awake; Unable to stop the abuse
Wish my savior would descend down from above

Mommy please why won't you save me; Anything you want I'll do
Fiercely needing, almost bleeding, to be loved
Didn't mean to misbehave and promise I'll be better too
Daddy please don't scream, get mad and start to shove

"Good times" merely cover up; Create a shadow for the truth
******* stories lull the mind, becoming numb
Ticking time bomb, no surprise when like a powder keg you blew
Striking blows just like a boxer with no gloves

Planted problems rising up are stemming from and grow into
Epic beanstalks much like Jack thought he wished of
Same result from fabled tale except there is no golden goose
Just the giant who refuses to give up

Trembling fear I have inside can't overcome; I lack the tools
Chains me down; These shackles I'm forever cuffed
In a war against myself where it is destined that I loose
Broke and battered, insides shattered into dust

Banished from the realm of life to Fortress of my Solitude
Daily robot the appearances keep up
A magician misdirecting and forever hide from you
All the pain and shame within me that I clutch

Needed partner, what I'm lacking; Information is not news
Someone that I could be close to is enough
Life is empty, without feeling; Like a poet with no muse
Left here rotting; Man of Steel has turned to rust