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4d · 709
Guile


The most damaging and deceitful lies

are the ones we tell ourselves

Written: April 20, 2019

All rights reserved.
7d · 147
An apology
I know the words no longer mean
Or carry that much weight these days
But I am going to say those words
I'm going to say them anyway

I'm sorry how you were mistreated
Thinking of it mustered shame
I'm sorry I took you for granted
Emptiness is filled with pain

I truly loved you before all
The feelings felt weren't insincere
My actions told a different tale
A liar who you should have feared

Those closest to you are the ones
Who can and will hurt you the most
"Et tu Brute?" you could have squealed
As if to summon ancient ghost

For in this scene, familiar set
How allies turn in dire times
Embrace what you'd expect to get
Not coward's ****** from turned behind

But that is what I often did
Repeatedly stabbed in the back
But each time I'd apologize
And like a fool you'd take me back

My promises wore ever thin
Till you could almost see right through
And each one blindly you'd accept
As if the others never knew

You're loyalty would bare no bounds
A folly fool you seemed to be
But looking back is when I found
The fool in this, not you but me.

Tried loving you with all my heart
Could dazzle you in **** and wealth
I didn't know doomed from the start
Because you never loved yourself

In fact you were someone you loathed
And hated in the deepest ways
Forever wanted one to hold
Don't know if even this could save

No matter though because I planned
Conspired every day verse you
While throwing at you bags of sand
Had not one face; Was always two

And yet these two were always one
Projection mirrored back at each
Same fashion as a fathered son
Not kinsman though; They shared a beach

Like lapping waves upon the sand
It touches many different grains
No matter where the water lands
Within this beach it's all the same

So even though I am a part
And you a different part of me
Unconscious and a conscious mind
Just different branches of the tree

A symbiotic state you'd think
Results would show that we're a team
But that's the poison left to drink
We guzzle when young and naive

Left blinded from the harshest truth
That often the feared enemy
Was told a stranger but been duped
Because well known; This person's me

And graciously I offer you
Most genuine apologies
You know its sentiment is true
Because I'm you and you are me

However that will not dictate
Directing actions that are made
Since sentiment and feelings aren't
Linked to behavior in some way

At least that's what my history states
A separation of my mind
No matter whether love or hate
It's programming run all the time

So conscious or unconscious mind
It really doesn't matter much
If path to happiness one finds
The other will then **** it up

Apologies will pile up
A mountain reaching to the sky
Forget half-empty, there's no cup
Forever looped until I die
Written: April 17, 2019

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Tetrameter format]
Uh oh, I feel it
It's coming again
One more unwanted visit
From my longtime friend
There's no notice given
As he barges right in
And no length to his stay
Don't know when it will end

He takes over my space
As if it's always been
Just his place and not mine
Who's the one paying rent?
Feel my presence erased
Put on hold and suspend
Don't confront; Do not face
Feel I can not defend

Everyday forced to face
Sadly, what could have been
Feeling lost and disgraced
I'm imprisoned again
In this bottomless pit
Where reality bends
Won't give up; Will not quit
Digging out with a pen

Beg for mercy and pleas
In these notes that I send
Penned emotionally
On my life it depends
Don't just look; Need to see
The real trouble I'm in
My words quietly scream
Fight alone I can't win

Someone please just help me
A spare hand you can lend
Don't need much to be free
Very little you'll spend
But without it I'll bleed
Boxer who can't contend
I'm struck down in defeat
Ref has counted to ten

Not how it has to be
Room is starting to spin
Get me up on my feet
Reset this bowling pin
Knock me flat in the street  
Won't sit still like a hen
Punching bag that you beat
Think I'm yours; That is when

Rising up suddenly
Spirit back on the mend
You're the one looking weak
Everything is pretend
Cleaning house; Need to sweep
From this filth I've been cleansed
Helped in my time of need
Thankfully by my friends

Days ahead bright for me
My life here want to spend
But can't get too comfy
He will strike; Don't know when
Out my eye hole I peep
Could return once again
Promising not to leave
Me and my longtime friend
Written: February 6, 2018

All rights reserved.
Mar 29 · 205
Am I intense
Am I intense?
Well, I guess that depends
If the message is sent
But to you we're just friends
Has the mood become tense
So that now it must end
In my plan, threw a wrench
All advances suspend

Should not need a defense
Or your feelings defend
Does not work if against
Can't distort, twist or bend
Don't want you on the fence
Later something to mend
Take me out; Ride the bench
Simply followed the trend

A pursuit would be dense
Broken message I'd send
How you felt came and went
Not returning again
Everything said I meant
But I will not pretend
'Cause my love's not for rent
And my heart I don't lend
Written: March 7, 2019

All rights reserved.
Mar 7 · 2.5k
Brain, brain go away
Brain, brain go away
Don't want to listen one more day
Already lonely and afraid
Feel insecure and full of shame

Brain, brain don't act this way
You're always angry; Filled with hate
You know we're joined; Can't separate
You're punching yourself in the face

Brain, brain what can I say
To make it so you see things straight
Don't know how much more I can take
Of constant warring and debate

Brain, brain it's getting late
This journey's not some endless race
Life's flying by and at this pace
Forget a win; Not gonna place

Brain, brain let's medicate
I'll feed you drugs and we'll sedate
The only way to mitigate
Discrepancies we generate

Brain, brain we sadly waste
This outcome feels like it was fate
But never was there a sealed date
Fulfilling what we self-create

Brain, brain so much we faced
Success so close could almost taste
Instead our tail we always chased
We'll die alone sad and disgraced
Written: March 6, 2019

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Tetrameter format]
Mar 1 · 610
If something happens
If something dramatic should happen to me
And by ill chance my time is now through
How would anyone here at Hello Poetry
Be informed; They would not have a clue

No delusions of grandeur or somehow believe
It would matter to more than a few
But I know that for me there are many I read
And look forward to anything new

If I checked and I see nothing new on their feed
Would be curious what happened to
Know that they hopefully are okay; Possibly
Just got busy like most of us do

Understand, doesn't change in the slightest degree
Could not help in some way; I'm no fool
But don't like to be left in a dark mystery
Take a test but results kept from you

Throughout life there are things in and out we will weave
Separate paths, we walk in our own shoes
Some are mandated, others though we choose to seek
Course was set when the winds of change blew

So no judgments are passed if to write poetry
No more time or you feel you outgrew
Only ask if you could, a small note when you leave
People here maybe care about you

May seem weird in some way or just hard to believe
Someone you never met; Barely knew
You have touched them somehow deep emotionally
Planted seeds are developing roots

There are people who care because they're human beings
And love for each other just proves
They have souls full of goodness and deep empathy
Treat each other how we're supposed to

It together creates a strong society
That's a caring and closely knit group
In this place we express and are totally free
Without fear or the pained ridicule

So sincerest of 'thanks' I deliver to thee
Can't express my complete gratitude
Evey bit of your kindness and commentary
A bright light from your heart shining through

All of you are so special and fully unique
Every message is honest and true
Reaching into your souls; Tear it off as you speak
Is commendably full of virtue

Do not let your voice silence but if you do leave
And decide that you must say 'adieu'
I cherished our time; Whether was long or brief
It was special 'cause shared it with you
Written: February 6, 2019

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter/Trimeter format]
Feb 19 · 389
Jack and the beanstalk
I'm a frightened little boy who's scared, lost, and confused
Wanting desperately to feel protected from
Nightmares haunting when awake; Unable to stop the abuse
Wish my savior would descend down from above

Mommy please why won't you save me; Anything you want I'll do
Fiercely needing, almost bleeding, to be loved
Didn't mean to misbehave and promise I'll be better too
Daddy please don't scream, get mad and start to shove

"Good times" merely cover up; Create a shadow for the truth
******* stories lull the mind, becoming numb
Ticking time bomb, no surprise when like a powder keg you blew
Striking blows just like a boxer with no gloves

Planted problems rising up are stemming from and grow into
Epic beanstalks much like Jack thought he wished of
Same result from fabled tale except there is no golden goose
Just the giant who refuses to give up

Trembling fear I have inside can't overcome; I lack the tools
Chains me down; These shackles I'm forever cuffed
In a war against myself where it is destined that I loose
Broke and battered, insides shattered into dust

Banished from the realm of life to Fortress of my Solitude
Daily robot the appearances keep up
A magician misdirecting and forever hide from you
All the pain and shame within me that I clutch

Needed partner, what I'm lacking; Information is not news
Someone that I could be close to is enough
Life is empty, without feeling; Like a poet with no muse
Left here rotting; Man of Steel has turned to rust
Written: February 12, 2018

All rights reserved.
Perched before the mirror,
my eyes open to see
the greatest of loves there in front of me

With a smile, a chuckle,
a nod and a wink
I’m falling in love above my bathroom sink

My ocular captions
are fixed in a gaze
and neither denies
our ****-worthy ways
Never before
have I seen such a marvel
Brought almost to awe
yet I recant such sparkle

For my status is equal
or better than such
I say with full modesty
(as if I must)
The greatness exuded
Displayed on both sides
It is something that I
and the other can't hide

All of those who now know
and all those who shall see
will admire and greet us
down on bended knee
Consternation displayed
only to be outdone
by illustrious gestures
to this royal son

But enough of the rest,
there is just you and I
“All of those poor, poor people”,
we say with a sigh
They will truly not know
what it is to be us
When you don't have to worry
And don't have to fuss

This supremacy life
is a difficult one
My heart would feel pity,
(If I had one)
Instead it’s disgust,
disdain and the like
The fuel that's propelling me
forward with blithe

Still across from me now,
a reverent sight
Another near equal
and one who just might
be the only one worthy enough possibly
To stand here beside me for others to see

They think they all know
but know nothing they do
It's the jealousy had by them
for I and you
They’re like chlorophyllic plants
Dripping in so much envy
They try and they try;
They try to prevent me

From being the greatness
I know I can be
If just given a chance
Then perhaps they would see
But alas, in the end
it doesn't mean ****
What I care for is me
Only me
and that's it

Except my love for you
It's so deep can’t you see?
It is real
I can feel it
I truly believe
Only you I can I trust
The one person who matters
The one I turn to
when life breaks and it shatters

All others are pawns
I can move on the board
Sacrificial pieces
for falling on swords
No dispute; I am king
Come stand here with me
It’s us versus them
And trust me they’ll see

It might not be today
It might not be tomorrow
But it will be soon
when they join me in sorrow
Make all of them pay
For what they’ve done to me
For the pain they’ve inflicted
Their fault, you will see

Anything that I do
Even though I will try
They keep holding me down
No idea; Don't know why
They are all out to get me
So plainly can see
But one thing you won't see
is not the last of me

Here, take my hand lover
and come with me now
We'll go out in the world
and together show how
Their pathetic existence
can benefit us
We may step on some ants
But there's no need to fuss

The hole that is empty
That is our damnation
Use things superficial
Instant gratification
It's a short-term "fix"
But will make-do for now
In our path, leave destruction
This much I will vow

Happiness, thoughtfulness
or concerned empathy
Some examples of words
unfamiliar to me
Therefore, no one can feel it
Must feel like I do
Only then I'm complete
Feeling I belong too
Written: August 31, 2017 (revised February 3, 2019)

All rights reserved.
Feb 1 · 254
Upside-down frown
Are you sad
or unhappy
Depressed
Feeling lonely
Each day
dark and dreary
or blue?

Do not worry
my friend
I know just
how you feel
I have all
the right answers
for you

So to counter
the downward
You start
thinking upward
Bad thoughts
will stick to you like glue

It takes more
than just effort
You must
remain strong
Fortitude
So this trip
you'll see through

Now I want you to think
of a time
you were happy
When things
in the world
all seemed new

Full of love
and carefree
Innocent
Truly pure
Crisp and clean
Much alike morning dew

When inside
of your mind
you project
types of thoughts
that are positive;
A "dream come true"

It rewires
your brain
Generates
new connections
Gets rid
of the old
residue

But you must
stay the course
Don't give up
in distress
And in time
it will start
getting through

It is hard
I confess
But could never
attempt
Would I make
a false promise
to you

So if happiness is
what you want
from your life
Yet it always
finds ways
to elude

The change comes
from inside
Must have faith
Must believe
Make a batch
of fresh
"positive brew"

As you drink
this elixir
In time
you will see
Billiard *****
have all left
but the cue

A blank slate
to create
What you want
of the world
Every color
No longer
just blue

Disagree
or debate
If you finish
the race
Like a big
gust of wind
that just blew

All the darkness
now gone
Feel like
'here I belong'
Peace of mind
A life filled
with love too
Written: October 21, 2018 (started) & January 31, 2019 (finished)

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Heptameter format]
Jan 31 · 440
Binary
The zeros and ones, all the zeros and ones
It is time to dive in to some binary fun
Just the zeros and ones, all the zeros and ones
We're not ready for this
But too late
It's begun...

In this game that we play
There's no way can be won
And no doubt that someday
All mankind is outdone
But "no way" they will say
"Just relax and have fun"
'Cause there's always a way
Not the absolute 'none'

Good luck never can stay
Of the minimum one
An anomaly may
Find a way to outrun
All the safeguards in place
What you spin is now spun
This new enemy faced
Can't be beat with a gun

Giving birth to a race
Artificially one
That's not from outer space
People smart are now dumb
We can't keep up the pace
So we will be outrun
Relegated to slaves
Or perhaps we're just "done"

Nothing more than a waste
Have a purpose that's 'none'
Masses taking up space
Can not hide or outrun
Destined to be erased
Yet somehow we're still stunned
Ending the human race
For A.I. has now won
Written: November 9, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Jan 25 · 497
Farewell

Let’s talk about my intuition
Talk about a brain that swells
I saw it coming to fruition
Easily for you I fell

Suspicions were a friend to you
Made me your toy; I would not tell
My nightmares and my dreams came true
Sequestered in your prison cell

Do all the ***** things you do
You’re Heaven and my private ****
Just say one thing when I come to
And no more hear the ringing bells

Those words, please tell me, “I love you”
With earnestness, to me you sell
I don’t care if it isn’t true
You are my fix and I’m not well

So “dose” me up; I need to sooth
And fill this lost and empty shell
Drunk on your love; You are my *****
The cost of this I do not dwell

A choice I made yet did not choose
You instantly had cast your spell
Too blind; I did not see the ruse
An easy ‘mark’, no need to sell

Tried for a stew but made a soup
The drifted parts will never gel
No question, for sure I’ve been duped
I clearly hear the banging knell

Forever stuck within this loop
A never-ending carousel
You took my soul with one fell swoop
I said ‘hello’, you said ‘farewell’
Written: January 7, 2019 (started) / January 24, 2019 (finished)

All rights reserved.
[Iambic tetrameter format]
Jan 16 · 519
Tomorrow's Love
You will give it to me
Then you'll take it away
Because somehow for you
Love's a game with to play
My intensity doesn't
Revolve with the days
Or a carousel ride
Love does not work this way

Love can always be broken
And rebuilt like clay
It's not just black and white
In fact often it's gray
But it does not run off
Once it's here it should stay
Not a pendulum swing
Should not back and forth sway

You will love me tomorrow
Could care less today
It is something I did
Or perhaps did not say
A small piece of me dies
Each time you pull away
I'm left here asking 'why?'
On my knees I will pray

The light dying inside
Now a barely lit flame
Have my eyes opened wide
Before I was insane
I try taking the blame
You're the one who will stray
On this coaster we ride
Love's a game not to play

I won't breakdown and cry
Get unstable today
All my feelings have died
In your game I won't play
So I must waive goodbye
'Cause no longer I'll pay
I must do to survive
Love does not work this way
Written: January 8, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic tetrameter format]
Jan 4 · 336
Lost "Control"
An attempt to tempt temptation we're facing
The entire nation is wasting
While the time clock is racing
Sitting idle I dwell
Don't know what to do
A bottomless well
filled with good intentions
That I forgot to mention
while men's sons
climb the walls
Fingers bleed
so I choose to run
Pain outweighed only by guilt
An attempt to hide so no one would see
Added my hand by not lending a hand
The inevitable entropy

Criticize the critter's size
This infiltration among us
A monstrous demon
indeed in need of expatriation
The daily battle uphill
An upheaval, this weasel
An endless war of soldiers who sold their souls
Signed their mark on the dotted line
Became a mere dot left in time
Sand in the glass we know will not last
Last train leaves the station
Can not stay
Have been shunned

Should have listened when told
On an endless list now too old
The souls that time has forgotten
A swirl in the whirlpool for getting into this mess
A choice we did not choose
Being lost made us lose
A loser with nothing to lose
Loose with our lips
Quick with the fists
A tunnel with no light
The endless darkness in sight
Filled with fear, we do not fright
For what is wrong feels so right
Take the plunge
I just might
Endlessly spinning in time
while getting so high
Spinning out of control
This way I live, this way I die
Written: Early 2018

All rights reserved.
Dec 2018 · 1.1k
Hearing but not Listening
It's amazing
there are times
we're able to get
angry,
frustrated
and very upset
With someone
we care for
that we love so much
Protect them
and shelter
so no one could touch
Don't let hurt or pain
think of touching her veins
Those times
are now gone
and forever have changed

And yet,
here we stand
us both acting like this
We are trapped in a story
with chapters I missed
These pains in my brain
aren't from words you have spit
I'm confused;
I'm insane
or some dumb ****** up ****
Our love is so strong
There's no way it could break
We'll get through ups and downs
All that's thrown
we could take
Totally unprepared
for a ninja attack
That one spy snuck inside
Did it behind our backs
Parasitic invasion
Dug into our brains
Paranoia, delusion
took over the reigns

No communicating
No more talking either
Instead, playing games
As if that would be easier
When able to see
the error in our ways
The path already set
Seeming too hard to change
The Titanic proportions
Coursed for tragedy
Listen to the band play
That's how it had to be

A defensive stance taken
yet also aggressive
All doors been replaced with
high walls
We're left guessing
What each other wants
As if we took the time
'Cause your thoughts
were on you
And my thoughts
only mine
Much time since we flew
Now a submarine diving
Deep down I love you
And for now we're surviving

Turn a leaf that is new
Other side
a blank slate
I know what not to do
It's argue or debate
From now on I will listen
to you when you speak
Truly see your position
Is something not weak
Love is so many things
Caring, trust, and respect
Offer you all of these
Give to you
Hope to get
I will meet you half-way
There'll be times
I give more
Not a competition
So, no need
to keep score
To compete in this game
(for lack of better word)
If one 'wins'
nothing's gained
Outcome is
quite absurd
So together; a 'team'
Both of us
The same side
Make reality dreams
All it takes
is to try

I am back to my senses
A moment to think
There's the cost
and "expenses"
Not careful,
Could sink
It takes effort and work;
Can't just coast and slide by
Lawn needs water to grow
Otherwise, it will die
Tend your lawn
Plant the seeds
that will set hearty roots
And beget fortitude
Not stand off and aloof
If you have love that's real
Sacrifice still be made
But don't let anger steal
True love's worth being saved
Written: November 24, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic tetrameter format]
Dec 2018 · 568
Mind's Eye
With no argument I think most people agree
With the adage stating that, "you are what you eat"
But it's possible there's information not known
Having equal importance or maybe more so

All the nutrients eaten; We intake our food
It will travel through digestive tract once consumed
Same can also be said of the actions and thoughts
They're the building blocks making up all that we are

Brains are not like a rigid or fixed type machine
An old dog and new tricks go together it seems
Our plasticity will let us both change and shift
It makes pathways; New neural links over the rifts

These connections might possibly benefit us
But this same mechanism can also do stuff
With a negative scope, the outlook and belief
We might think we're no good; Our lives filled with much grief

If we're constantly saying things inside our heads
Like self-doubting, self-loathing and feelings of dread
Then our brain will re-wire to fit this outlook
Once ensconced in this spectrum; Not easily shook

The same way that a person engages with time
Like activity, also is true with the mind
A small change in the way that we look at ourselves
The new thoughts and beliefs in our mind start to meld

With the make-up within that each one of us holds
Self-beliefs and self-doubts from our birth till we're old
Like a painter with ink; Our brush never is dry
We are always creating what's in our mind's eye

So don't hinder yourself with a picture that's bleak
Just believe in yourself and go get what you seek
You are capable of so much more than you know
All it takes is belief and in time it will show
Written: November 20, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Dec 2018 · 601
Never say 'goodbye'

You are the burning comet
shooting over darkened sky
---
The moment that we said "hello"
I knew I'd never say 'goodbye'
Written: December 12, 2018

All rights reserved.

As a dear friend you care for me
Sure as the air I breathe
To love me anymore than this
Not sure if I believe
Each day anew the Sun will rise
But nighttime hides away
Thus, your love and affection
If here, will never stay

Was given Cinderella's ball
Before midnight's last strike
Must scurry from the pageantry
Else, face a certain fright
Extravagance would disappear
Revealing to the Prince
Her true self in the deepest way
The pains that made her wince

Afraid once she was vulnerable
Find out was all a lie
A ****** that would pierce through her heart
With certainty she'd die
Truth though, if given that moment
Each flaw the Prince could see
Each one a part of Cinderella;
Part of her beauty

Suddenly, she understood
She did not have to hide
What was closed off long time ago
And buried deep inside
Still with some fear, her heart she gave
And with a lightning strike
Fulfilled with happiness and love
And stepped into the light
I was toiling over the structure of this poem. I often like short succinct lines but almost every even and odd line are paired and could easily make four, four-line stanzas each with 7 iambs. Curious what others might think. Any comments are appreciated.  

Written: November 12, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Heptameter format]
Dec 2018 · 1.3k
Phoenix
You can trip and take me down
You may hurt and make me cry
Even back me in a corner
Take it all from me, you’ll try

Make this pain inside my brain
Till the water works run dry
I’m confused or now insane
How I was when I was high

Spit at me and give me shame
Say that all I do is lie
Just a **** inside your game
**** is where I’ll burn and fry

***** me till I have no name
In this shell to rot and die
Try to make me something plain
But will never say ‘goodbye’

Acting weak is how I feign
Have for you a big surprise
Nothing for you but disdain
Keep me down or so you tried

Not pathetic or so tame
Life I’m taking back is mine
Thunder roaring is the train
You’re a joke but one who’s wry

No more constantly a strain
As I look out at the sky
Cork that’s popped from the champagne
Rising up and now I fly
Written: December 8, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Trochaic trimeter format with masculine ending]

This was written inspirationally and as a
tribute to a friend of mine who was dealing
with an unhealthy relationship and is now
finding her way out of it.
Dec 2018 · 1.8k
Swan Song

A lively debate
that inside I create
A seemingly
simple state
But this state
of affairs
Is like a ****** affair
The details
I wish not to share
Please,
don’t stare
For inside
I’m scared
Am I prepared?
Do I have
the ***** to do
what I really care?
Or am I going
to stay on this ship
of self-despair
Where
I can scream
my lungs ******
into the air
But does anyone care?
Do I even f@cking care??

Maybe a life spared
but spare me the
retched bullsh@t

of self-pity
I’m self-giving
It wreaks up the air
It’s noxious scent
is not one I care
to ever encounter
or fair

Let’s “clear the air”
and take on
what I want
from now on
No longer a ****
who is living the tired
joke
of some pathetic
love song


No, THIS
is my “Swan Song”
Where I belong
This sh@t is ON!

Climbing the mountain strong
Bellowing a chant
a song
That’s been so deep within
for so long
It can only come out
Right
Because “wrong”
does not belong
This virus
is airborne


No longer forlorn
All the darkness
is gone
You have been
forewarned
Are you ready?
Because it’s coming
Sounding the horn
Sacrificed
the firstborn
The “storm”
Once icy and cold
Now simmering warm
Going to bubble into
volcanic ash scorned
This Oath
hath been sworn
Tattered and torn
**** cloth
all that is worn

But forward my path
What’s behind me
My ***
The past
Worn out,
decayed,
and shriveling trash

All that
is gone
as I head
towards the dawn
Through the darkness
I’ve trekked
The Sun rises ahead
And with it
My song

My Swan Song
I am reborn
withered and worn
But still strong
I belong
I am one
with the Universe

The path before me
is brightly lit
with happiness and joy
No more patheticness
All the grit
and the spit
Broken teeth
All that sh@t
It all meant something
It was THIS

Every bruise
Every brake
All the “wrongs”
and “mistakes”

Are what it takes
You can call it fate
or simply short of fatal
but since
neonatal
through this day till
Every day
I thankfully say
“Thank you”
for showing me the way
Because now I have
A love that stays
A true love
One that can’t
get away
Because I value Me
One ‘hopes’ or ‘prays’
But like a house
Each brick is laid
Onto the next
Foundation made
A sturdy house
Can’t blow away
Hard work put in
Made it this way
The same for me
The price I paid
But end result
A saving grace
Written: December 6, 2018

All rights reserved.
Dec 2018 · 2.1k
Lovers or Friends

You have brought back these feelings
Resurfaced those fears
Of the fire inside
that had so many tears
A weak flame that was dying
Alive once again
Has now muddied the line
between lover and friend

That's how it goes for me
I don't know about you
The words passing might be
in that moment were true
They kept traveling on
Possibly a comet
As my feelings grow strong
Expectations not met

Once again feel a fool
Even though it's not true
And my heart gave to you
Time again I will do
But this time not the same
It's because you weren't here
Could not reach out and touch
So our bodies weren't shared

Just the words that were said
And the sound of your voice
Resurrect from the dead
Could not stop; Had no choice
Seems like that's how it is
In your lasso I'm snared
All it takes is one tug
And again I will care

Pilot light to a stove
A slight twist and it strikes
You've invaded my heart
Bursting flame will ignite
But if carelessly handled
It's me who gets burned
Walked all over and trampled
Same dolt who won't learn

I have built up the walls
But we're both trapped inside
The tight space is so small
There's nowhere I can hide

Face-to-face with you now
It begins and it ends
I'll get through it somehow
Are we lovers or friends?
Written: October 30, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Dec 2018 · 2.1k
Sinful

Sins of the flesh

-

Are the ones I like best
Written: November 16, 2018

All rights reserved.
Nov 2018 · 207
Me & You

I may always be me

*

Yet, without you I am not
Written: November 10, 2018

All rights reserved.
Nov 2018 · 922
Falling in love
For so long I have loved you and
This much I know is true
But now I find
For the first time
I fell IN-love with you
Written: October 30, 2018

All rights reserved.
Nov 2018 · 2.1k
I wait but my wait is over
I'd say I 'miss you'
But can that possibly
convey the true
sentiment
of how I feel
each day?

I say 'no way'
A torment
is laid
A sacrifice
that must be made
This road before
I've paved
but this time
with new waves

No longer the waves
of goodbye
Yes, it's true
before we tried
Tears were cried
A mountain climbed
But alas,
it was not time
The bells hath not chimed

What is due
is due in due time
And good times
are what await
While I sit here and wait
Though my wait is over
For no more
will I second guess
I know who's best
Forget the rest
It is you I will hold
against my chest

A treasure chest
but not filled
with cliche jewels
and like items
No, instead
filled with what is
truly priceless
What money can't buy us
What each of us
is searching for
Longing for
Like a knock upon the door
or a child wanting more
Not prepared
for what's in store
Like one who's out
begging and poor

For so long
on the 'other' side
But not this time
for that time
has ended
and in the end
all wrong is now right
because I have you
right by my side

No longer that fear
that I kept inside
Wanting to run
Go away and just hide
But no matter
how much I try
(which I admit isn't much)
I can not hide
what I have inside
for you
Yes, it's true
A love that is true
Complete in its virtue
An everlasting truth
So cozy and cute
Like an old couple
smushed together
in our favorite coffee booth

But no toll
at this booth
More like
a 'kissing' booth
A carnival fair
Cotton candy
in the air
Along with the
ever-present
and ever-lasting aroma
of love
that together
we share
Hand-in-hand
Sit or stand
and into each other's
eyes we stare

To others
may not seem fair
But we're too love struck
to care
Our hearts
with each other share
A caring so deep
That a trench
in the sea
still couldn't possibly
in any way effectively
convey what we see
What we feel
What's inside you
and inside me
How we
just 'BELIEVE'
I feel it
Don't you?
I know you do
You feel it too
We've known for so long
What we now know is true

So, here at the end
our story begins
An epic journey
of sadness, heartache and loss
But the price must be paid
And in full payment we made
Day after day
But the cycle we break
Having cost us the cost

All that sh*t we just tossed
No more carrying of weight
Mark your calendars
This date
Because the waiting
is gone
I can finally see straight
Warm inside
Feeling great
And with one foot
First step I take
As we take the plunge
I would dive off of the Sun
or forever I'd run
Do all that must be done
You are now
and always have been
my number one
Never a contest
to be won
It was yours from day one
And will be forever
till time is done

I love you.
Written: November 23, 2018

All rights reserved.
Nov 2018 · 303
Rainbow's end
You'll always be at rainbow's end
Eternal *** of gold
A fairy tale told long ago
Forever I've been sold

I try so hard but out of reach
With each hand would grab hold
No words needed so please don't speak
Would never let you go

But when I give up in defeat
The cycle getting old
The hill to climb becomes too steep
Turn down 'Yellow Brick Road'

The Wizard who I wish to meet
Told he can take me home
I hear the scurrying of feet
New shadow is well known

But like they say it's "Trick-or-treat"
And both will I be shown
With me you stand here in the street
No longer I'm alone

Now found; forever I had seeked
But actions had been cloned
Reached out but this dream could not keep
Like that; I'm turned to stone

You laugh and turn off in retreat
A call without a phone
A diet forced myself to eat
These actions had been sewn

This game of love again I'm beat
And tossed like trash I'm thrown
You stole from me just like a cheat
This life I live alone

No tears to cry but inside weep
My head, the space I roam
No need to hide; Escape don't seek
From now on is my home
Written: November 13, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Heptameter in Common Meter format]
Nov 2018 · 1.2k
Be happy once more
Each day is a day like day had before
I don't know if I can take anymore
There's pain in my bones; Weak feeling and sore
I question myself what this life is for

Don't know what's ahead; Don't know what's in store
As happiness hides behind a locked door
The pressure, it builds to find it before
The hourglass now has emptied what's stored

The light from me left; Although I'm not sure
If ever I had a light that was pure
My soul's on death's bed; No hope of a cure
The word's left unsaid; I'll always want more

Waves lapping against the rocky beach shore
Each time takes away; A heavenly chore
Was true of my joy; A tunnel was bored
Inside from my soul true self of me poured

I ******* out myself like a *****
Each day is a lie that I can't afford
I wish I was maimed; Insides had been gored
I can not explain; Knight falls on his sword

But I am no knight; More like one who's poor
Been chewed up, discarded; Fruit with no core
Tried sharing with you; A piece of me tore
But know you disliked; Did nothing but bore

This poem is not new; These words said before
I've whined and cried too like those I deplore
A task left to do; Must settle the score
Each day starts anew; Be happy once more
Written: November 15, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic/Anapestic Mixed Tetrameter format]
Nov 2018 · 1.2k
Alonely
"I just want everyone to leave me alone!"


-----


".....I'm so lonely....."
Written: October 21, 2018

All rights reserved
Nov 2018 · 1.1k
One plus One

I'm very good with numbers; Always been inside my brain
They freely shift and move about; Allowed to dance and play
However, one equation baffles and confuses me
That one plus one will equal two; This is not what I see

It's people who must be confused; Wrong value they give "one"
Because the single integer alone can't have much fun
It's only with another "one" first one will come to life
With purpose, reason, starts to smile; Now feeling satisfied

The presence of the second one gives first one happiness
When one is standing all alone life has not much to give
Can not survive a vacuum; It is dark and empty space
No digit there to interact; One's value just a waste

Some people disagree with me; Say one is fine alone
And doesn't need another one for value to be shown
I don't completely disagree but my experience
That I feel most fulfilled with life when I receive and give

The elegance of the exchange; Where miracles exist
Life's greatest gift is that of love but with it there's one twist
How it takes two to tango; Love is not a solo dance
To give another all your heart is taking a big chance

But can't compare reward to risk; The blissful ecstasy
Cause "one" is more like just a half but with love it's complete
Written: October 24, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Heptameter format]
Nov 2018 · 4.4k
Tea Light
There was a tiny tea light somewhat hid and tucked away
Was lost; To be forgotten in dark corners of my brain
The other day you called me breathing into it new life
A weak and dying flame now once again stood strong and bright

Tried quelling it with reason; Doused with plenty rationale
No matter what I threw at it would not leave or dispel
Use thoughts as tools or weapons; They are thrown out by the mind
Attempting to slice through the bonds to flame the heart did bind

But no where in my cognition is something quite that tough
In any way could **** that flame or from these bonds be cut
This statement even would be true the weakest of its days
But as I'm talking to you with each word you fan the flame

Was living out a lie and yet was unbeknownst to me
I thought my love for you could die if left and just let be
However, now I know too well this lasting present truth
My eyes saw you and ever since, I've been in love with you
Written: October 23, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Heptameter format]
Oct 2018 · 3.6k
Echo
I sit alone in the dark
Will you turn on the light
Will you burn oh so bright
So I learn to feel right?

Overcome by the fright
Now my chest's feeling tight
I scream into the night
What is wrong and what's right?

From the shadow's, a glow
Hear a voice I don't know
My own fairytale show?
Nope, it's just an echo (echo) (echo)
Written: October 11, 2018

All rights reserved.
Oct 2018 · 646
I Surrender
There is no more happiness
Only the pain
Exist without meaning
I'm trapped in my brain

Each day brings a struggle
I don't want to meet
A white flag; I surrender
Accept my defeat
Written: October 7, 2018

All rights reserved.
Oct 2018 · 2.8k
Life's a Joke

There is no love in my life
No one to hug and hold tight...


-

I don't feel that presence
To know they'll be there
I'm not warm and secure
By somebody who cares

-

I am empty; alone
Only hollow inside
On my face show a smile
But just want to cry
I am trapped in a cage
My one wish; To be free
Can't escape my own skin
Life's a joke played on me
Written: October 4, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic/Anapestic Trimeter then Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Sep 2018 · 1.3k
Stop and Take Time
‘Stop and take time’
is a phrase to remind
Often paced
in this race
we call life
We will face
Ourselves stumble and fall
far from grace
Get upset
thrown off track or lose sight of
and just plain forget

A respite put aside
Even small amount set
Where our life’s placed on pause
No more trying to get
We’re not running or chasing
This moment is still
Left behind is that drive
To consume and fulfill

For a minute it's tranquil
We clear our filled heads
Ruminating no more
on what’s done and what’s said
Meditating
A stillness
to find inner peace
Or get back what’s been lost
If not all;
just a piece
Written: September 26, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Sep 2018 · 6.4k
Who am I?
I don’t know who
I’m supposed to be
Who I am
or who they want me to be
The answer’s not
so easy to see
Not well known
There's an uncertainty
Knee-**** answer
is to be
wholly free
I'll explain
in detail
Paint a picture clearly
A tutor's not needed
No need to study
No higher degree
With candor
I’ll speak

Let me tell you about
so-called “un-pleasantries"
The list is quite lengthy
A few;
maybe three
Gonna rattle them off
What's been mentioned to me
Not the worst of mistakes
but a category
May irritate some
To others
‘let be’
Saying that’s who I am
and as such
accept me
A minority group
not the majority
and by far
and by few
They are lost in between

Some say I’m intense
and can be
quite chatty
Loquacious
a talker
‘Verbose’ tendency
Don’t deny what is true
But not always guilty
The day in
and day out
doesn't constantly stream
Not sustained
They can change
Just like who
we will be
Not robots
Not copies
or placed on CD
Live a life
of routine
but not one
on repeat
Even still
I must say
there are worse things to be

Empathetic and kind
I give generously
All I have
My last dime
Will donate
each penny
I'm not searching for credit
Approval don't seek
Like to make others happy
Inside, I’m complete
When I focus on others
No discrepancy
I’m not dwelling
or thinking
of my tendencies
Please don't offer
your pity
or give charity
Try to bend; compromise
don’t perceive me
as weak
I'm the chivalrous type
Will get down
on one knee
Not walled off or closed up
Bare my soul
Give freely
But there's more
locked inside
So when time comes to speak
It’s a flood
a deluge
There's an intensity
Give too much
Give too quick
Try to stop
inside keep
I can bottle
it up
but sometimes
it still peaks
Little may trickle out
Suddenly
it will seep
If an access is given
Explodes
in a heap
When I love
I dive in
You may think I’m a freak
The emotional type
Tug heart strings
and I’ll weep
Not a blubbering fool
my emotions
run deep
A calm hand
I can sooth
Situation-ally
In a crisis
I’m strong
This unfortunately
is something
that I know
But don’t wish on
to speak
Life presents me
two roads
With both closed off
to me
Feel locked up
in a cage
while I look
to be free

A locked door
Here I stand
desperately for the key
Wanting answers
Assistance
A new found decree
Need a mantra
A mission
systemically
affecting systems
The true stem
of what’s me
Fundamental
My core
Sprouting roots from a tree
Happiness from the Sun
or beneath canopy
Not about
getting answers
Away goes the fee
Hamlet asked long ago
If 'to be or not be'
I know that it's different
Just work with me please
My point
is the question
In life, what to seek?
A life
that’s authentic
or society
We conform
and adapt
What they want us to be
If like me
you're unsure
It can drive you crazy
Take a chance?
And be pure
Live a life that's taint free
In return
you'll endure
Side remarks
and critiques
Is the juice worth the squeeze?
Be like them
or unique
Written: September 22, 2108

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Hexameter Format]
Sep 2018 · 1.0k
Never forget
“Never forget”
It’s structure set
there’s something that
I just don’t get
When people told
to take a sec
The thousands lost
Their lives just swept

And many more
forever wept
An empty hole
with families wrecked
Commemorate
the date is set
As if a giant hurdle leapt

Most people easily forget
A numb that lulls
themselves will let
They patronize
like I’m a pet
Their pettiness
to me will vex

It’s takes more than
just bowing necks
A promise
for one day is kept
Real charity
Not on the net
Read Facebook posts like
“What the heck?”

My boiling blood
want to snap necks
A danger sign
like floor is wet
Not military
or a vet
But a salute
those lost will get

Just for one day
forget the rest
On this day we will act our best
Let bias and all hatred rest
Each other love
Hearts will be blessed
I took the original down just so it wouldn't take away from this draft. After taking a day and then coming back today to read the original through, I realized that the flow and sentiment of the poem was served better to rearrange some of the lines between the stanzas and/or moving some of the stanzas themselves.

Written: September 11, 2018

All rights reserved.
Sep 2018 · 1.4k
Chameleon
A needed look
of happiness
A smile upon my face
But way deep down
inside's
a hole
Let no one go
behind the gates

A changing shape
A life
that’s fake
The effort needed
I will make
Ingredients
A cake
I bake
Like shedding skin
I’ve been replaced

So 'cut-n-paste'
but life don't taste
My past
aren't steps
that I retrace
Each day
a race
Response; quick haste
Hide deep inside
Alone disgraced

A fall from grace
A gracious thought
Was never true
Instead
was bought
A jagged pace
Should be erased
One big mistake
How I
was taught

Repeating loop
Forever caught
An ending saved
For me
it's naught
My life I’ll waste
Won't have
what's sought
The things
I got
Did not embrace

Peered over shoulders
into space
Life long mistake
Dug my own grave
My hopes and dreams
I gave
or trade
All washed away
The price I pay

A birthing brightness
Road was paved
What love
I had
Chose not
to stay
None in return
and none
was saved
A dying star
begins to fade
Written: August 26, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Octameter format]
Aug 2018 · 25.0k
Pieces of me
Pieces of me
thrown away
like trash
Never consulted
Never asked
The direct result
of another’s conviction
or more commonly seen
consequences
from blind ambition

Paranoid
The fix is in
But no invitation
for me,
former me
or forever me
and all of my imitations
beset by my
limitations

Forwardly I lean
step in between
lines upon lines
hidden;
can’t be seen
Falling ill
Now trapped by
its machine
And from my vein;
My blood I spill

A still surface
with sticky sheen
amber tones
from which
I glean
a reason
Thrilled
What it might mean
A hunger
that
can not be filled

Nothing but lies
giving me chills
A shell
with values
not instilled
Instead
it’s dread
Their words
I’m fed
Nutrients
to fill my head

My outer skin
Its layer
thin
Not to attacks
No single act
or prayer
could patch
and fill it in
A hole
that’s black
is my first sin

A game
in which
no way to win
and no ending
once it
begins
With opened eyes
begin to see
The dorsal fins
surrounding me

Head starts
to spin
What could have been?
It doesn't matter
in the end
because
there's nothing
here for me
A demon-like reality

Where what you seek
Placed at your feet
The icing; sweet
Choices; not three
Have cake or eat
One choice not two
But want to eat
and have it too

All efforts
to retrieve the treat;
An outcome that
ends in defeat
A princess swept
off of her feat
But this feature
princess;
a creature
Spirit of
a soulless seeker

Deceitful speaker
Flames;
he’ll eat ya
Offers pain
Can’t heal;
life drained
Then reaching out
to use
life-line
but with each ring
hope further wanes

An answered call
done just in time
The chills
running all down my spine
Stand tall
just like Douglas-fir pine
With racing thoughts
filling my mind
I will be saved
Free from it all
God must exist
No time to stall
In battle
warriors
may fall
but no man's ever left behind

Only to find
With said spent dime
A dynamite kind of answer
-
A type
that might
cause strife
Can't plan for
Needed answer
Plight
like cancer
New chance to live
Worldly romancer
On planet Earth
A tiny dancer

A romantic thought
to think
fight fought
Instead a sinking ship
just dropped
This life?
If could
an ‘OUT’
would opt
No more
can take
Just make
it stop
Written: April 17, 2018

All rights reserved.
Aug 2018 · 12.0k
Maniac
A presence
presenting
a continuous torment
torturing
incessantly
until, even with cessation
only a tenuous self
is present
leaving only the resin

The maniacal
manifestation
is an infestation
festering around in my head
Its existence,
a creation
created at inception,
hacking my brain
Forever a trap
creating a
maniac

Acrimonious
to all mankind
Not acting
like a man
Not one word
that's kind
Committing crimes
and getting oneself
committed
A deviation
creating a deviant
Shifted values
due to a devalued
self

An esoteric
essence
seemingly sentenced
on this journey
by judge and jury,
not by one's peers
because the many
not able
to peer
into this individuality
The duplicity
of duality
that is my reality

Challenging myself
to a dual
One in which
I both
win and lose
But in the end
not breaking even
or coming out ahead
Always ending
further back
instead

Its back breaking
and always aching
Pain from which
not capable of
faking
Effort I’m taking
Of myself making
Time for a new king
For kinsmanship
is aloof
And this man’s ship
has sailed away
Sipping a port
at a shipping port
And yet
slipping away

Deeper still
In the depth
of still water
Sinking
into the abyss
Lost and gone
But not missed
Is this the end
of our fable?
Or will our “hero”
enable himself
and in the end
be able
Deciding who to be?
Cain or Abel?
For the hurricane
is hurrying along
Its aim always the same
Constant pain
A payment he feels
for the displaced
placement
which just in case
is placed
same place
he went

Ink in the face
A disgrace
When suddenly
encased in his brain
are racing thoughts
of a plan
he’s ace’n

A label of insanity
given by those
who claim sanity
when the reality
is their thoughts are free
and optimize
a sanitized
and homogenized
batter
And in the end
it doesn’t matter

Offering suggestions
in which they
feel threatened
Pathways congested
and protested
Testing them
Even worse,
bested
A problem beset
upon them
Time to steady
the flock
Roll n’ Rock
Inoculations we’re getting
Start the injections

“It’s been an honor”
Mounting my Lipizzaner
A disarmer
A charmer
The armor
‘mi amor’
Leaving me
wanting more
But as they keep score
the task is daunting
A life that’s haunting
with such splendid decor
-
Yet, can’t take any more
Their taunting
is leaving me sore
So to the atmosphere
I open that door
and flying up above
I soar

Forever more
Feel pain no more...
Written: August 17, 2018

All rights reserved.
Aug 2018 · 309
Life's Currency

Love is the currency of life

Without it 'living' becomes 'existing'
and anything of value (real or perceived)

Becomes worthless and meaningless
Written: August 16, 2018

All rights reserved.
Aug 2018 · 5.6k
“Action!”

There was a time
within me
I wanted to be
an actor
beaming
on stage
or a screen
big or small
no matter to me
after all
The exposure is nice
I guess
and all that kind of stuff
but that’s not what drew me to it
Just being an actor
was enough

I enjoy performing
and have a memory
for lines
One of those people
who can quote
a whole movie
It plays in my head
can fast forward
and rewind

But it’s easy to recite
the work of another
One who already
searched within
and discovered
what to emote
the affect
and such
To replay like a puppet
That’s not saying much
Could I nail
the scene
and get the feeling right?
When other actors work with me
maybe they might
get inspired
to the point
they become lost in the scene
We’re reliving
the story
A fantastic team
When the director yells
“Cut!”
all applaud and cheer
Tears in the eyes of some
touching memories
they hold near

The performance
The “art”
that’s what matters most
A singer belting out a song
or a comic
at a roast
The thought of it now
gets me giddy
and inspired
but yet
here I sit
In my chair
I am mired

Never took that step
Overcoming
all that fear
My doubts and insecurities
Worry how much others care
That fear
of failure
or that I wouldn’t
“measure up”
A deer frozen
in headlights
I am forever stuck

And as the time continues on
The days, and months and years roll by
Which is the greater loss?
If I failed
or never tried?
Written: August 8, 2018

All rights reserved.
Aug 2018 · 954
Awakening

Sometimes you have to remove the noise
and listen to the silence

to awaken from the dream
you thought you were living

Written: August 1, 2018

All rights reserved.
Jul 2018 · 14.9k
My Soul to Take
I’m a soldier
in a war
sold to the highest bidder
Biding my time
getting high
but not getting
anything out of
life

A lifer
a loser
lost his way
was on his way
on a journey
was earning
a living
was living
a life
in spite of
spitting in the face
of all I was faced with
Couldn’t face up
to the need
I was feeding
A hole
from which
my soul
was bleeding
Unknown reason
harboring this treason
give it time
it will season
Belief system
the Devil
finds pleasing

No matter
how much I tried
and from everyone hide,
including myself,
what was
deep inside
If I went
and made
an attempt
a fool I'd be,
wasted time spent
A lament
at controlling
the tide
And each day
from the next
more and more
of me died

There was a time
when all my efforts
went unheeded
and instead
succeeded
But these courtships
did not breed
or plant the seed
Instead was seething
to be
leaving
Escaping from me
with each breath
I’m breathing

A horrible time
indeed
Unfamiliar,
making me ill
Not having free will
Undeserving
and not for me
to get
Must get angry
and upset
Breaking steps
So many
missteps
I’m falling
more than I’m standing

Steps I’ve climbed
mostly blind
by my blindfold
Its knots
I bind
the moment
I ‘rise-and-shine’
so that
in time
when rising
like yeast,
the hiding
inner self
self-defeats

Every hand folding
as I’m
raising the bets,
doesn't make sense
From where
did I get
this invisible pet
Originally set
and previously molded
in the early stages
of the morning
in a story
that’s boring
and been told
time and time again
with
lost love ones
and friends

A friendly reminder
that a
“stitch-in-time”
is not
a time saver
if the referenced ‘stitch’
relied upon
was built upon
lies
Consumed
from others
that we
self tie
but mostly
force fed
by the very hand
controlled
by my head

It’s a numbing thought;
reasons sought
Elusive?
‘yes’
but pieces
caught
My peace disturbed
by actions
brought
from a desire
to numb
so that these thoughts
will be
forgotten

Decayed
and rotten
left for days
in a
wrought iron cage
Anyone
with sage
too afraid
to consume
but 'In-Doom'
I trust
and with full ******
my smile
displayed;
Forward I go
for sins
I pay
and lie within
this bed
I've made

Not night;
thick of day
No difference displayed
Skewed indifference
to the
different
paths
that have been
laid
like the path
of destruction
from this day
back
in my wake
Bindings
can't brake
A life's mistake
Lay me down
my soul
to take
Lying in state,
a viewing,
my wake
My mind
now awake
-
Cruelty's laugh
makes me
an ***
A crass reminder
of a life
that's past
Written: July 14, 2018

All rights reserved.
Jul 2018 · 1.1k
No pain, No gain

When I was younger
I had it all


But life took a turn
It all came crashing down
and I was left flat broke
Losing all that I owned

But when I did
All those who loved and cared for me
Lifted me up with love

And in that moment
I was able to see
How much
I truly had...

It was only when I had nothing
I could see that I had everything

And what a wealthy man I am
Written: July 26, 2018

All rights reserved.
Jul 2018 · 9.4k
Tomorrow never comes
Tomorrow never comes
Today is always yesterday
Time is forever on the run
Becoming lost; Wasting away

Surrounded by the void
But darkness not why I am rattled
From this question, can't avoid
Do I belong amongst the shadows?

Back and forward I will peer
While staying blind to what's ahead
I am engulfed and filled with fear
Unsure what's real or in my head
Written: June 10, 2018

All rights reserved.
Jul 2018 · 4.3k
Have a goal

Must have a goal
Go get that thing
What if I want
To stop and sing

Retreat inside
Wait out the storm

Else feel the wrath
Of nature scorned

Instead a kid
I wish to be
To feel alive
And so carefree


Each drip, each drop
Upon my head
Wish I could splash
In rain instead


I'd watch the sky
Explode with light
A warming joy
Not filled with fright

When did I lose
Sight of it all
Predictable
Pattern I fall


Start living in
Every moment
Past and future
Wasted and spent

Granted a new
Chance I'm given
Can not redo
But start living

Each day awake
Fresh start; Can be

World's my oyster
Alive and free
Written: July 14, 2018

All rights reserved.
Jul 2018 · 12.4k
Undulated Desires

This coup
A new nation
Loyal dedication
Its classification

‘Species procreation’
Prevents us from facing
A human cessation
selective mutation
Gestation
Creation

It may help explaining
The reasons
Behaving
But not the foundation
Or actions
We’re basing


A simplification
is “continuation”
A checkbox
left vacant
Fulfillment
We’re chasing


We sweat
Eyes are gazing
A slight
palpitation
In need of hydration
Complete excitation
Without
hesitation
Intense stimulation
Deep urges
Heart racing

Driven
By sensations


Unbounded fixation
Pelvic
Undulations
Clothing
Perforations
Time no longer wasting

This capitulation
a Sanctification
****** gyrations
Hint of *******


The bedroom
Safe haven
For what
we are craving
Once out
and displaying

It all had been taken
Before
Feeling vacant
Freed imagination
A resuscitation
Indulged depravation

A rhythm
we’re setting
The giving and getting
Destroying
the bedding

All else I’m forgetting
Entwined
with each other
Like entangled netting
Both
on the same trip
In a unified heading


Now comes
the summation
A true
Revelation
Final
culmination
Smash all expectations
Volcanic
eruption

That lasts the duration
Loud gasp
We unlock

Filled with gratification
Written: July 8, 2018

All rights reserved.
Jun 2018 · 500
Added to scars from before

You decimate!
Stabbing my core
Now added to
scars from before

Another rip
What’s one more tear?
I do not speak
I'm struck with fear
This is my path
Fate has no choice
I tell myself
With inner voice

She does not hit
There’s no contact
Her weapons, words
A deep impact


With a true strike
Inflicted pain
And damage caused
Sometimes sustained
But very worst
From punch or kick
My body harmed
Can not inflict
The type of wounds
When letters placed
Creating words
My soul disgraced

The fabric stitched
that makes up me
Together holds
my entity


Of essence it
Can *******
A wound so deep
That’s it; Checkmate
Forever changing
who I am
So powerful
An altered plan
And bit by bit
it takes away
the strength within
no longer stays
My fading soul
I am no more
I’m just a pet
A "thing" to store


An item
under lock and key
Forever lost
No longer 'me'
Written: June 30, 2018

All rights reserved.
Jun 2018 · 1.3k
Brain Entombed

Inside
       of  
           my    
               head
            
                        Entombed  
                                 is  
                                      a   
                              
                         B   R   A   I   N

                                      Can’t
             ­                                shake
                                                      this    ­        
                                                        ­   feeling
                                                       ­    That  
                                                             ­it’s
                                                             ­not    
                                                      ­       the      
                                                            s­ame
                                                     Infected sickness
                                                Covered with dull pain
                                         A rabid                          werewolf
                         ­             I’m trying                             to tame
                                     Almost off                              the leash
                                    I tug at                                    the reigns
                                    Hold              on  ­       with       sheer will
                                    Have          nothing   ­    to                 gain
                                
                           ­        My                       efforts;                  A joke
                                   Fighting               a freight                   train
                                    Through              gr­it teeth             I smile
                                      Demeanor             ­                       I feign
                                          Failure          ­    coming            soon
                                      ­       My life,         one more        stain


                                             ­                    Lost
                                                          ­         sight
                                                                ­      of
                                                                ­      it
                                                                ­        all
                                                   ­               To
                                                              w­hat
                                                            ­ it
                                                 pertains
                                                      ­I
                                                    am
                                              sinking
                                                down
       ­                                            Spinning in
                                       the drain
                                                    An
                                               endless
                                              battle
           ­                             Forever
                                     the
                                bane
                           ­  Of
                      my
           existence

            No                   longer                    I’m                   sane………


Written: May 1, 2018 (finished June 27, 2018)

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Pentameter format]
Jun 2018 · 742
You are my friend

You are my friend…..


One of maybe two or three
I give that label to
and now you’re moving far away
I don’t know what to do

Of all the people in my life
you're one I like the most
And when you’re gone I fear I’ll be
a lost and empty ghost


In rough times you could make me laugh
No matter if crying
That’s how it was for you and I
Song birds always singing


Seldom in life those come along
with whom you just connect
No effort needed to belong
Each other, you both get

In a dark sky, you’re my North Star
Beacon of light and hope
But now it’s just an empty space
Left with six feet of rope

Selfishly, I would almost do
just about anything
If I could get you not to leave
Forever we could sing

But doing so would mean that you
Would live life in a cage
Taking away what makes you, You
It wouldn’t be the same

I’m not that selfish even though
the pain rips at my core
I’d take it for eternity
If it meant you weren’t sore

My dearest friend I hope you know
I love you very much

And even though you won’t be close;
Can not reach out and touch


I know we’ll talk and even see
each other time to time
When touching base or catching up
To know each other’s fine

But like a tide, sometimes in life
Friendships will ebb and flow
Each person has a life to live
And down a path we go

And even in those times when we
might drift further apart
You’re someone I’ll always hold near
and cherish in my heart


Fly Fly away now little bird
Go off and spread your wings

And I’ll wait here ‘til you return
When once again we sing
Written: June 21, 2018

All rights reserved.
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