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Oct 7 · 463
The Fade
As summer fades
Fall has begun
Our once bright days
Now setting Sun
Uncertain what the future holds
Just know that I am getting old
For youth one does not get to keep
Through window blinds of life I peek
A path that's been filled with mistakes
I've walked alone but chose to take
My baggage with me where I went
Much money earned; much money spent
An epic track that seemed to reach
Earth's corner's as I searched and seek
For happiness with love and joy
These things I lost when just a boy
Were taken; someone stole from me
No safe to crack; there was no key
Defenses were not set in place
A child who had yet to face
Like Adam when bereft of sin
Attack that had struck from within
Where body fully left in tact
A shattered mind you won't get back
And over shoulders look for pieces
Equaled grains of sand on beaches
Traveled much, went far and wide
Blind to the circles spun inside
If challenges aren't met and faced
One can't expect to win a race
In life, with loss comes also gain
For cost brings lessons for our brain
All adding up to wisdom learned
So as time goes we can discern
This is the trade for youth with age
In our "life book" we write a page
Our bodies start becoming meek
Not equal outlook that is bleak
As faculties get old and fail
Some ways our vessel is a jail
The footsteps made are less and less
But minds expand an endless breadth
A question though of great concern
is, What if someone never learns?
They pay the price; accept the cost
But in return there's only loss
There's no trade off or benefit
An idiot who is a twit
You'd almost feel some sympathy
For one pathetic and who's weak
Unless of course you realize
The suit he wears; tried on for size
No twisted arms; he was not fooled
All info given; went to school
Just sat and stared off into space
So much potential he would waste
Break-even point, where are you at?
Is it still forward or way back
There comes a point, true with all things
Sometimes it hurts the heart and stings
We realize the end has come
There's nothing more that can be done
All effort from here on, a waste
The money spent is better saved
Don't think of it as giving up
More simply that one's time is up
Life is a journey that's for sure
But may be one that is endured
Instead of riding off in glory
Constantly are saying "sorry"
Trying to right each mistake
There is no life; an endless chase
A dog who tries to catch his tail
An nonstop game of "try-and-fail"
You ask "Why should I even try?"
Pathetic tears to say 'goodbye'
I have one choice that I can make
That will erase all my mistakes
If I'm not here I can't ***** up
Forget "half-empty", there's no cup
The disappointment and the shame
No longer need to play that game
Sure people might feel bad at first
But don't forget; somehow subvert
In closing I can finally be
What all expected me to be
A hero or a champ who "wins"
Not loser who just fails and sins
So tears don't cry (and you may not)
I'd say that I had fought the fought
But you know that is one more lie
Don't need to add; just say 'goodbye'
Written: September 2019

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Tetrameter Format]

I wrote this poem as a sentiment or feeling but I am not actually contemplating suicide. I would never actually do that. I don't want to harm myself but sometimes the sadness, desperation, and despondency bring me to a place where it runs in my my mind not as an actual act but more of a thought of sympathy. So, I am in no way making light of suicide or trying to be coy. This was written from an honest place inside but I am not in a dark place or thinking of hurting myself in anyway. (Just to be very clear in case anyone might think that or be concerned). This piece is more of a perspective piece (and an honest one) but not one I share in any true or meaningful way at this time. =)
Oct 4 · 149
Euphoria
I let the words pour out of me
Like slicing open a vein
Blood letting, to rid me of the disease
In repetitive disdain I’m dissed again
What a lewd thought to think it would let me go

Still, a flailing hope
A grasp of desperation
as my essence drains from the inner highways of my heart
A hope that it may heal the hurt
That maybe somehow the delivering and uttering
of pen and paper will relieve me
Please, just a little relief from the agony within
A cathartic reverence that will send me into a seizure
For a life that’s seized is my daily torment
A ravage beast who tore through men
and me just a boy
A white rabbit for the slaughter

And with Dr. Lecter psychotic patience
You did not devour me quick
Took your time
A new toy
Minutes turned into hours
your playful taunt and tease
To the unknowing
A provocative game entrenched in innocence and desire
I know, to juxtapose the two is almost paradoxical
Only a dark spirit, a shadow wraith, an entity of the night
can deliver such torture and delight

A delicious tour makes me quiver
both with fear and excitement
Fire and ice
Drops of hot wax while bathing in ice cubes
You bath me with your love
You burn me with your spice
When I wince or flinch
I see upon your face
With satisfaction a smile appears
Grinning broadly from ear to ear

Wrapped around your finger
as if there ever was a doubt
Eons gone and warped through space
my mind you warp
my thoughts you erase
Like a hunting trophy hung to dry the flesh
Both arms and legs are bound up tight
There I’m hung, served up for you upon a dish

Blood cut off, feels like atrophy in my tissue
I am your servant offering no service
A visceral charge within me
The rushing thrill of fear
I see the blood in your eyes
the fangs in your teeth
but I do not cower away
Lunging towards you for relief
A parasite inside my brain
Narrow sighted
and choosing sides
Forever by your side
Do it now!
I want to feel your fangs sinking deep into me
and drain me of my life force
Taking every drop I have to give

Offered up, I am your nectar
Dancing the line between life and death
A euphoric Hell
wrapped up in your spell
Enslaved to you for eternity
Inserted into the ignition you turned the key
the motor roars
with thunderous sounds
Screams and cackles like wild animals
Deafening shrills
and the most unnatural of notes
until a resounding silence

The storm has passed
but the clouds still remain
The ominous is drifting about
uncertainty with such certainty
A certification given
with a two-ton weight
****** upon my chest
from where you ripped my heart
and now on your pain I live
An accepted compromise

Like an oscillating frequency
or a voyager forever caught between two storms
This is the fate I choose
I will endure the pain and abuse
A tribute to you my love
to show how much I care
Infinite reassurance I must fulfill
but upon fulfilling the role of assurance
No insurance needed
A guarantee
I am splayed out and crucified for you
and our delightful game we play again

My reward; your gifts
A ward to you
at beckoning call
My beacon
My lighthouse
The world had turned black
Living each day in horror
Pulled me from that abyss
only to throw me back in from time to time
but I bide my time
for the time in between
when I’m in between you
The taste of your kiss
A Utopian bliss
You retract
take it away
Like a fiend needing a fix
In agony I miss
No limit
Tear me limb from limb
Rip me apart and make me die in agony!
No price is too great
would pay anything
Give up Kingdoms
for this
Written: February 20, 2018

All rights reserved.

I'm re-releasing this. It was written a while ago and at some point I took it down (I honestly don't know why). I like it and thought I would share. Hopefully you enjoy it.
Sep 13 · 281
Game of Life
In this game we call life
All the actions we take
Doesn't matter compared to
Impressions we make
Siloutte, the reflection
Lasts after the date
Like a scent in the air
That is ever so faint

Water marks on the floor
Finger tips with spray paint
Or a warm summer breeze
In that moment feel great
A mark left on a cushion
Or lively debate
Color outside the lines
In good fashion, be late

With a frown upside down
Bring a smile to their face
And when life's full of pain
Reaching out to erase
Needing only an ear
To support and embrace
A foundation together
Creating a base

Don't look back; time is now
Not a second to waste
There's no need to ask how
Take a step; set the pace
Form an infinite "Wow!"
Life before is replaced
Through adversity plow
The God's nectar you'll taste
Written: August 9, 2019

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Hexameter format]
Sep 11 · 263
Not erasing; replacing
You say that you hate it
No longer be playing
All those misbehaving
Watch out
'cause you're slaying

Relationships fraying
Lose more every day and
No train at the station
Don't matter
Not waiting

Full force
Instigating
No more being patient
Before, vanished; They went
Without dedication

It's not a vacation
Sent to the space station
Left out in creation
Just imagination

A mere calculation
One thing
I'm just saying
Been set back and waiting
But now time to weigh in

This angst
On displaying
While you out here hating
Think those you erasing
You're simply replacing

Your demons need facing
Not running and chasing
A loop
You've been placed in
Self-made your own prison

But not by decision
Somewhere lost your vision
Sent back to beginning
So stop and just listen

Remove hesitation
There will be frustration
No capitulation
And not giving in

Beyond preservation
Give birth to a nation
A 'star'
Who is facing
Each day with a 'win'
Written: June 18, 2019

All rights reserved.
Aug 26 · 210
Feeling Blue Eyes
My eyes I wish I could remove
And change them with another
Yes, it's true
That they are blue
Just like those of my mother
Not how they look
The reason why
I wish they would unscrew
If I did wear
A different pair
Perhaps a different view

Oh, please dear friend
Just briefly lend
If not two then just one
It's all I need
To plant a seed
"Before" can be undone
The way you see
How you view me
Wish for me same was true
But my eyes frown
As they look down
Don't see things like you do

Pathetically
I try to flee
But can't outrun myself
My destiny
Forever weak
Success put on a shelf
If just a peak
A passing streak
Please give me something new
Ask for one scene
Where I could gleen
An image that is true

A sparkling sheen
But in between
The lines I start to skew
Awake or dream
Not what they seem
Instead a nightmare drew
Why can't I find
Place in my mind
A honed in frequency
To feel sublime
Like all is fine
Replace my cup of tea

If for one day
Saw things your way
Beliefs maybe could change
Instead I lay
In bed I've made
Forget eyes, need new brain
Written: August 2, 2019

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Heptameter - "Fourteener" in Common Meter format]
Jul 18 · 481
Ready for War
I'm ready for war
I'm ready for war
Let's start the campaign
Send me out on my tour

A challenge to those
up ahead and before
Struck me hard in the face
Knocked me down on the floor
A pathetic disgrace
Left me ****** and sore
Want so bad: I can taste
Change what happened before

I'm not knocking this time
Gonna kick down that door
You'll get yours; I'll get mine
Trust me, this much is sure
Can't explain or define
A disease without cure
Sweet revenge comes to mind
Want to open that door

But inside I will find
Same mistakes as before
Time to leave that behind
I can be so much more
Won't succumb; Not this time
Like a lion I roar
Life has costs; Paid the fine
I've been given the tour

One directive - 'be kind'
Having this, never poor
'Cause my pockets are lined
Can not buy at the store
Pierces through window blinds
Bubbles up from the floor
Search not needed to find
Fills me up in my core

All the planets aligned
A lost ship finding shore
Couldn't see 'cause it's blind
Spent my life looking for
Granted gift when it's time
A full rainbow is poured
Open heart; Open mind
To the heavens I soar
Sorry I've been a little MIA again. There are messages and comments I want to reply to (and will be doing so very soon). As well as diving into and reading the many brilliant creative pieces that have been created and shared. I have a bunch of poems that are "done" but still in 'draft' status. This is one I wrote a while back and since I haven't been really active I thought I would share something new. I hope you are all well. I plan on spending some time on here and interacting again very soon. =)

Written: May 22, 2019

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Jun 23 · 472
Twenty long years
It's been twenty long years
Puppet to entertain
Stepping back from it now
I'm in awe; Can't explain
Like that saying is said
Definition: insane
To repeat the same actions
Expect not the same
Final outcome, results
Thinking somehow they'll change
Foolishly I'd go back
And would replay our game
Said each time it's the last
I'm done feeling this pain
Once the moment has passed
My conviction will fade

I am stuck in the past
History here to stay
If unknown will relapse
Help me tie off a vein
It all happens so fast
Find myself in a grave
As I'm dying, you laugh
Your messed up and depraved
But the buck I can't pass
I'm the one who's to blame
'Cause the actions I act
Full control I contain
Simply get what is asked
Have no right to complain
Can no longer react
Must take hold of the reigns

If I can't make a path
Set the forest ablaze
Leaving nothing but ash
Flatten over and pave
Stop this ride or I'll crash
Can no longer sustain
My permission not asked
But that all ends today
A court jester for laughs
No more; I will not play
Jump to first; Had been last
Discontinued the race
Hoisted sail on the mast
Moving forward with faith
Don't let door hit your ***
Time you be on your way
Written: June 21, 2019

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Like a mighty oak tree
you were an awe inspiring sight
Respect commanded from your presence
Crooked men were filled with fright
And while I grew, your hand was stern
Your leadership steered our small tribe
Fed discipline and regiment
Came from a past you could not hide
Kept calm and steady under pressure
Always ready and alert
The one who people would look up to
when in fear or if they’re hurt
You were a natural born leader;
Sapient and astute mind
While viewed as witty and gregarious,
approachable and kind
These qualities and human traits
were visible so all could see
You were a brave and valiant man
yet, even still much more to me

They sent you off to war when you
weren’t much more than a boy
Permission was not something asked
when foreign country were deployed
And even though you weren’t commissioned,
rank gave you command of men
So every day tried to ensure
that they would make it home again
You did the best you could, I’m sure;
Was rarely ever talked about
You may have left, but had it with you
And a part did not get out

“Protector” who is watching over
Principle ingrained in you
When duty calls, the first to answer
Shared the ‘code of honor’ too
Just like that hero in the pages
of those comics that you read
So,“Truth” & “Justice” and “The American Way”
were not just slogans to be said
A perfect fit was your career
to those of us who knew you
Always said fell into it
Was something took “for now” to do
While trying to decide a path
Direction in life that you’d take
It’s funny, often life will choose;
Decision not for us to make

And every time you went to work;
That uniform you would put on
Not knowing what you’d have to face
Potential risks and unknown harm
Like ‘suiting up’ to go to battle
Might not leave it with your life
But did not hesitate or waiver
Was your job; Did not think twice
The risks were something you accepted
but in-no-way they defined
The thirty-four years giving service;
Same town lived in and spent time
Relations built; working together
Being there if ever needed
To respond first when alerted;
Helping those who begged and pleaded
Also, if they simply asked
No matter whether big or small
‘Protect and Serve’ - a lifelong duty;
Run to aid those if they called
But this was much more than an oath
Embedded in your moral fiber
Like a coded prime directive,
was not something you could fight or
try denying if you wanted
I don’t think you ever did
Reminder from those comic books
you fell in love with as a kid

You had a ‘Superman’ t-shirt
The one emblazoned with an ‘S’
Would wear beneath your button up
Discretely so no one would guess
You laughed it off as just a game
A type of joke or of the like
While growing up you were a fan
Since you were just a little tyke
I knew for you that there was more
The message you respected too
Face bad guys while maintaining morals and character
A narrative describing you

By definition human beings
Species flawed that make mistakes
A perfect man, not what you were
A task no one can undertake
I know you cared for each of us
You did the very best you could
but discipline, the critics draw
These actions are not understood
Until much later on in life
The child has become adult
Time granting wisdom, with this gift
Deciphering and figure out
Perspective is a funny thing
Eyes opened after having it
With all you dealt with in you life
Amazed you did not lose your ****
A stunning feat that is for sure
What you endured and undertook
Plus, a career and family too
Not one page could write in your book

I only wish, could have told you
Now finally these things I know
Appreciate in ways could not
How passing time has made it so
But that same time took you from us
No longer are you with us here
At least not in a mortal form
My heart though I still hold you dear
Now added to that shirt you wore
You don a brilliant scarlet cape
While flying high up in the sky
And from you bad guys can’t escape
You kept us safe; You taught us well
Each day your wisdom’s guiding me
Impossible to fill your shoes
It's not something I try to be
Instead I strive to be the best
rendition of me possibly
and hope that it will be enough
when looking down, you’re proud of me

So many thought that they knew you
but deep down never did they know
From all of them a secret kept
There was something you did not show
They foolishly ate up your act
To them you weren’t more than a man
Don’t worry dad, I will not tell
but I know that you’re Superman.
Written: April 12, 2018 (revised and updated June 17, 2019)

All rights reserved.
Jun 11 · 688
Cheshire
Never whole
since in this hole
I fell
A bottomless well
and since time started here
(when all of time stopped)
this spell
I’m under
makes me not well

The company
I’m in
a grin
One who spins
A tale to weave
of make believe
These items to sell
Story he tells

My brain
set on fire
from his grinning
Cheshire
The maniacal laughter
and madness
inspired
I’m tired
I’m mired
Situation is dire

Without choice
he is hired
All thoughts are rewired
Has risen to “Sire”
This liar and thief
Plays *****
and cheats
I’m beat
can not win
Left to stare at that grin
Written: May 28, 2019

All rights reserved.
Jun 1 · 704
King of failure
I am lost in the world
And I can not be found
I see nothing but darkness
As I look around
Just a vast empty space
That forever I'm bound
I will scream my lungs raw
But I don't make a sound

Then my head starts to spin
And I fall to the ground
Angrily my fists clench
With a fury they pound
I'm defeated again
Turned back into the clown
Not the type who is happy
No, I wear a frown

Always in my own way
Feels like life's upside down
Forget linear path
This full circle is round
Try to rise up for air
Lake of shame I will drown
If to win you should fail
I'm anointed and crowned
I have a bunch of poems waiting to be posted so I thought I would share one. I'm sorry I haven't been around as of late. Life duties and work have kept me busy. I appreciate the comments and notes and will be responding to everyone very soon. I miss this place and intend on spending more time on here. Until then, thank you to everyone for the support and encouragement on my poetry. I can't wait to read some of the many great pieces you have shared. =^)

[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Written: March 25, 2019

All rights reserved.
Apr 20 · 2.2k
Guile


The most damaging and deceitful lies

are the ones we tell ourselves

Written: April 20, 2019

All rights reserved.
Apr 12 · 980
My longtime friend
Uh oh, I feel it
It's coming again
One more unwanted visit
From my longtime friend
There's no notice given
As he barges right in
And no length to his stay
Don't know when it will end

He takes over my space
As if it's always been
Just his place and not mine
Who's the one paying rent?
Feel my presence erased
Put on hold and suspend
Don't confront; Do not face
Feel I can not defend

Everyday forced to face
Sadly, what could have been
Feeling lost and disgraced
I'm imprisoned again
In this bottomless pit
Where reality bends
Won't give up; Will not quit
Digging out with a pen

Beg for mercy and pleas
In these notes that I send
Penned emotionally
On my life it depends
Don't just look; Need to see
The real trouble I'm in
My words quietly scream
Fight alone I can't win

Someone please just help me
A spare hand you can lend
Don't need much to be free
Very little you'll spend
But without it I'll bleed
Boxer who can't contend
I'm struck down in defeat
Ref has counted to ten

Not how it has to be
Room is starting to spin
Get me up on my feet
Reset this bowling pin
Knock me flat in the street  
Won't sit still like a hen
Punching bag that you beat
Think I'm yours; That is when

Rising up suddenly
Spirit back on the mend
You're the one looking weak
Everything is pretend
Cleaning house; Need to sweep
From this filth I've been cleansed
Helped in my time of need
Thankfully by my friends

Days ahead bright for me
My life here want to spend
But can't get too comfy
He will strike; Don't know when
Out my eye hole I peep
Could return once again
Promising not to leave
Me and my longtime friend
Written: February 6, 2018

All rights reserved.
Mar 29 · 1.1k
Am I intense
Am I intense?
Well, I guess that depends
If the message is sent
But to you we're just friends
Has the mood become tense
So that now it must end
In my plan, threw a wrench
All advances suspend

Should not need a defense
Or your feelings defend
Does not work if against
Can't distort, twist or bend
Don't want you on the fence
Later something to mend
Take me out; Ride the bench
Simply followed the trend

A pursuit would be dense
Broken message I'd send
How you felt came and went
Not returning again
Everything said I meant
But I will not pretend
'Cause my love's not for rent
And my heart I don't lend
Written: March 7, 2019

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Mar 7 · 4.3k
Brain, brain go away
Brain, brain go away
Don't want to listen one more day
Already lonely and afraid
Feel insecure and full of shame

Brain, brain don't act this way
You're always angry; Filled with hate
You know we're joined; Can't separate
Yourself your punching in the face

Brain, brain what can I say
To make it so you see things straight
Don't know how much more I can take
Of constant warring and debate

Brain, brain it's getting late
This journey's not some endless race
Life's flying by and at this pace
Forget a win; Not gonna place

Brain, brain let's medicate
I'll feed you drugs and we'll sedate
The only way to mitigate
Discrepancies we generate

Brain, brain we sadly waste
This outcome feels like it was fate
But never was there a sealed date
Fulfilling what we self-create

Brain, brain so much we faced
Success so close could almost taste
Instead our tail we always chased
We'll die alone sad and disgraced
Written: March 6, 2019

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Tetrameter format]
Mar 1 · 952
If something happens
If something dramatic should happen to me
And by ill chance my time is now through
How would anyone here at Hello Poetry
Be informed; They would not have a clue

No delusions of grandeur or somehow believe
It would matter to more than a few
But I know that for me there are many I read
And look forward to anything new

If I checked and I see nothing new on their feed
Would be curious what happened to
Know that they hopefully are okay; Possibly
Just got busy like most of us do

Understand, doesn't change in the slightest degree
Could not help in some way; I'm no fool
But don't like to be left in a dark mystery
Take a test but results kept from you

Throughout life there are things in and out we will weave
Separate paths, we walk in our own shoes
Some are mandated, others though we choose to seek
Course was set when the winds of change blew

So no judgments are passed if to write poetry
No more time or you feel you outgrew
Only ask if you could, a small note when you leave
People here maybe care about you

May seem weird in some way or just hard to believe
Someone you never met; Barely knew
You have touched them somehow deep emotionally
Planted seeds are developing roots

There are people who care because they're human beings
And love for each other just proves
They have souls full of goodness and deep empathy
Treat each other how we're supposed to

It together creates a strong society
That's a caring and closely knit group
In this place we express and are totally free
Without fear or the pained ridicule

So sincerest of 'thanks' I deliver to thee
Can't express my complete gratitude
Evey bit of your kindness and commentary
A bright light from your heart shining through

All of you are so special and fully unique
Every message is honest and true
Reaching into your souls; Tear it off as you speak
Is commendably full of virtue

Do not let your voice silence but if you do leave
And decide that you must say 'adieu'
I cherished our time; Whether was long or brief
It was special 'cause shared it with you
Written: February 6, 2019

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter/Trimeter format]
Feb 19 · 702
Jack and the beanstalk
I'm a frightened little boy who's scared, lost, and confused
Wanting desperately to feel protected from
Nightmares haunting when awake; Unable to stop the abuse
Wish my savior would descend down from above

Mommy please why won't you save me; Anything you want I'll do
Fiercely needing, almost bleeding, to be loved
Didn't mean to misbehave and promise I'll be better too
Daddy please don't scream, get mad and start to shove

"Good times" merely cover up; Create a shadow for the truth
******* stories lull the mind, becoming numb
Ticking time bomb, no surprise when like a powder keg you blew
Striking blows just like a boxer with no gloves

Planted problems rising up are stemming from and grow into
Epic beanstalks much like Jack thought he wished of
Same result from fabled tale except there is no golden goose
Just the giant who refuses to give up

Trembling fear I have inside can't overcome; I lack the tools
Chains me down; These shackles I'm forever cuffed
In a war against myself where it is destined that I loose
Broke and battered, insides shattered into dust

Banished from the realm of life to Fortress of my Solitude
Daily robot the appearances keep up
A magician misdirecting and forever hide from you
All the pain and shame within me that I clutch

Needed partner, what I'm lacking; Information is not news
Someone that I could be close to is enough
Life is empty, without feeling; Like a poet with no muse
Left here rotting; Man of Steel has turned to rust
Written: February 12, 2018

All rights reserved.
Feb 4 · 6.7k
Narcissist
Perched before the mirror,
my eyes open to see
the greatest of loves there in front of me

With a smile, a chuckle,
a nod and a wink
I’m falling in love above my bathroom sink

My ocular captions
are fixed in a gaze
and neither denies
our lust-worthy ways
Never before
have I seen such a marvel
Brought almost to awe
yet I recant such sparkle

For my status is equal
or better than such
I say with full modesty
(as if I must)
The greatness exuded
Displayed on both sides
It is something that I
and the other can't hide

All of those who now know
and all those who shall see
will admire and greet us
down on bended knee
Consternation displayed
only to be outdone
by illustrious gestures
to this royal son

But enough of the rest,
there is just you and I
“All of those poor, poor people”,
we say with a sigh
They will truly not know
what it is to be us
When you don't have to worry
And don't have to fuss

This supremacy life
is a difficult one
My heart would feel pity,
(If I had one)
Instead it’s disgust,
disdain and the like
The fuel that's propelling me
forward with blithe

Still across from me now,
a reverent sight
Another near equal
and one who just might
be the only one worthy enough possibly
To stand here beside me for others to see

They think they all know
but know nothing they do
It's the jealousy had by them
for I and you
They’re like chlorophyllic plants
Dripping in so much envy
They try and they try;
They try to prevent me

From being the greatness
I know I can be
If just given a chance
Then perhaps they would see
But alas, in the end
it doesn't mean ****
What I care for is me
Only me
and that's it

Except my love for you
It's so deep can’t you see?
It is real
I can feel it
I truly believe
Only you I can I trust
The one person who matters
The one I turn to
when life breaks and it shatters

All others are pawns
I can move on the board
Sacrificial pieces
for falling on swords
No dispute; I am king
Come stand here with me
It’s us versus them
And trust me they’ll see

It might not be today
It might not be tomorrow
But it will be soon
when they join me in sorrow
Make all of them pay
For what they’ve done to me
For the pain they’ve inflicted
Their fault, you will see

Anything that I do
Even though I will try
They keep holding me down
No idea; Don't know why
They are all out to get me
So plainly can see
But one thing you won't see
is not the last of me

Here, take my hand lover
and come with me now
We'll go out in the world
and together show how
Their pathetic existence
can benefit us
We may step on some ants
But there's no need to fuss

The hole that is empty
That is our damnation
Use things superficial
Instant gratification
It's a short-term "fix"
But will make-do for now
In our path, leave destruction
This much I will vow

Happiness, thoughtfulness
or concerned empathy
Some examples of words
unfamiliar to me
Therefore, no one can feel it
Must feel like I do
Only then I'm complete
Feeling I belong too
Written: August 31, 2017 (revised February 3, 2019)

All rights reserved.
Feb 1 · 946
Upside-down frown

Are you sad or unhappy
Depressed; Feeling lonely
Each day dark and dreary or blue?

Do not worry my friend
I know just how you feel
I have all the right answers for you

So to counter the downward
You start thinking upward
Bad thoughts will stick to you like glue

It takes more than just effort
You must remain strong
Fortitude; So this trip you'll see through

Now I want you to think
of a time you were happy
When things in the world all seemed new

Full of love and carefree
Innocent; Truly pure
Crisp and clean
; Much alike morning dew

When inside of your mind
you project types of thoughts
that are positive; A "dream come true"

It rewires your brain
Generates
new connections
Gets rid of the old residue

But you must stay the course
Don't give up in distress
And in time it will start getting through

It is hard I confess
But would never attempt
or could make a false promise to you

So if happiness is
what you want from your life
Yet it always finds ways to elude

The change comes from inside
Must have faith; Must believe
Make a batch of fresh "positive brew"

As you drink this elixir
In time you will see
Billiard ***** have all left but the cue

A blank slate to create
What you want of the world
Every color no longer just blue

Disagree or debate
If you finish the race
Like a big gust of wind that just blew

All the darkness now gone
Feel like 'here I belong'
Peace of mind; Life that's filled with love too
Written: October 21, 2018 (started) & January 31, 2019 (finished)

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Heptameter format]
Jan 31 · 890
Binary
The zeros and ones, all the zeros and ones
It is time to dive in to some binary fun
Just the zeros and ones, all the zeros and ones
We're not ready for this
But too late
It's begun...

In this game that we play
There's no way can be won
And no doubt that someday
All mankind is outdone
But "no way" they will say
"Just relax and have fun"
'Cause there's always a way
Not the absolute 'none'

Good luck never can stay
Of the minimum one
An anomaly may
Find a way to outrun
All the safeguards in place
What you spin is now spun
This new enemy faced
Can't be beat with a gun

Giving birth to a race
Artificially one
That's not from outer space
People smart are now dumb
We can't keep up the pace
So we will be outrun
Relegated to slaves
Or perhaps we're just "done"

Nothing more than a waste
Have a purpose that's 'none'
Masses taking up space
Can not hide or outrun
Destined to be erased
Yet somehow we're still stunned
Ending the human race
For A.I. has now won
Written: November 9, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Jan 25 · 560
Farewell

Let’s talk about my intuition
Talk about a brain that swells
I saw it coming to fruition
Easily for you I fell

Suspicions were a friend to you
Made me your toy; I would not tell
My nightmares and my dreams came true
Sequestered in your prison cell

Do all the ***** things you do
You’re Heaven and my private Hell
Just say one thing when I come to
And no more hear the ringing bells

Those words, please tell me, “I love you”
With earnestness, to me you sell
I don’t care if it isn’t true
You are my fix and I’m not well

So “dose” me up; I need to sooth
And fill this lost and empty shell
Drunk on your love; You are my *****
The cost of this I do not dwell

A choice I made yet did not choose
You instantly had cast your spell
Too blind; I did not see the ruse
An easy ‘mark’, no need to sell

Tried for a stew but made a soup
The drifted parts will never gel
No question, for sure I’ve been duped
I clearly hear the banging knell

Forever stuck within this loop
A never-ending carousel
You took my soul with one fell swoop
I said ‘hello’, you said ‘farewell’
Written: January 7, 2019 (started) / January 24, 2019 (finished)

All rights reserved.
[Iambic tetrameter format]
Jan 16 · 573
Tomorrow's Love
You will give it to me
Then you'll take it away
Because somehow for you
Love's a game with to play
My intensity doesn't
Revolve with the days
Or a carousel ride
Love does not work this way

Love can always be broken
And rebuilt like clay
It's not just black and white
In fact often it's gray
But it does not run off
Once it's here it should stay
Not a pendulum swing
Should not back and forth sway

You will love me tomorrow
Could care less today
It is something I did
Or perhaps did not say
A small piece of me dies
Each time you pull away
I'm left here asking 'why?'
On my knees I will pray

The light dying inside
Now a barely lit flame
Have my eyes opened wide
Before I was insane
I try taking the blame
You're the one who will stray
On this coaster we ride
Love's a game not to play

I won't breakdown and cry
Get unstable today
All my feelings have died
In your game I won't play
So I must waive goodbye
'Cause no longer I'll pay
I must do to survive
Love does not work this way
Written: January 8, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic tetrameter format]
Jan 4 · 446
Lost "Control"
An attempt to tempt temptation we're facing
The entire nation is wasting
While the time clock is racing
Sitting idle I dwell
Don't know what to do
A bottomless well
filled with good intentions
That I forgot to mention
while men's sons
climb the walls
Fingers bleed
so I choose to run
Pain outweighed only by guilt
An attempt to hide so no one would see
Added my hand by not lending a hand
The inevitable entropy

Criticize the critter's size
This infiltration among us
A monstrous demon
indeed in need of expatriation
The daily battle uphill
An upheaval, this weasel
An endless war of soldiers who sold their souls
Signed their mark on the dotted line
Became a mere dot left in time
Sand in the glass we know will not last
Last train leaves the station
Can not stay
Have been shunned

Should have listened when told
On an endless list now too old
The souls that time has forgotten
A swirl in the whirlpool for getting into this mess
A choice we did not choose
Being lost made us lose
A loser with nothing to lose
Loose with our lips
Quick with the fists
A tunnel with no light
The endless darkness in sight
Filled with fear, we do not fright
For what is wrong feels so right
Take the plunge
I just might
Endlessly spinning in time
while getting so high
Spinning out of control
This way I live, this way I die
Written: Early 2018

All rights reserved.
Dec 2018 · 4.2k
Hearing but not Listening
It's amazing
there are times
we're able to get
angry,
frustrated
and very upset
With someone
we care for
that we love so much
Protect them
and shelter
so no one could touch
Do not let hurt or pain
think of touching her veins
'Cause those times
are now gone
and forever have changed

And yet,
here we stand
us both acting like this
We are trapped in a story
with chapters I missed
These pains in my brain
aren't from words you have spit
I'm confused;
I'm insane
or some dumb ****** up ****
Our love is so strong
There's no way it could break
We'll get through ups and downs
All that's thrown
we could take
Totally unprepared
for a ninja attack
That one spy snuck inside
Did it behind our backs
Parasitic invasion
Dug into our brains
Paranoia, delusion
took over the reigns

No communicating
No more talking either
Instead, playing games
As if that would be easier
When able to see
the error in our ways
The path already set
Seeming too hard to change
The Titanic proportions
Coursed for tragedy
Listen to the band play
That's how it had to be

A defensive stance taken
yet also aggressive
All doors been replaced with
high walls
We're left guessing
What each other wants
As if we took the time
'Cause your thoughts
were on you
And my thoughts
only mine
Much time since we flew
Now a submarine diving
Deep down I love you
And for now we're surviving

Turn a leaf that is new
Other side
a blank slate
I know what not to do
It's argue or debate
From now on I will listen
to you when you speak
Truly see your position
Is something not weak
Love is so many things
Caring, trust, and respect
Offer you all of these
Give to you
Hope to get
I will meet you half-way
There'll be times
I give more
Not a competition
So, no need
to keep score
To compete in this game
(for lack of better word)
If one 'wins'
nothing's gained
Outcome is
quite absurd
So together; a 'team'
Both of us
The same side
Make reality dreams
All it takes
is to try

I am back to my senses
A moment to think
There's the cost
and "expenses"
Not careful,
Could sink
It takes effort and work;
Can't just coast and slide by
Lawn needs water to grow
Otherwise, it will die
Tend your lawn
Plant the seeds
that will set hearty roots
And beget fortitude
Not stand off and aloof
If you have love that's real
Sacrifice still be made
But don't let anger steal
True love's worth being saved
Written: November 24, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic tetrameter format]
Dec 2018 · 1.6k
Mind's Eye
With no argument I think most people agree
With the adage stating that, "you are what you eat"
But it's possible there's information not known
Having equal importance or maybe more so

All the nutrients eaten; We intake our food
It will travel through digestive tract once consumed
Same can also be said of our actions and thoughts
They're the building blocks making up all that we are

Brains are not like a rigid or fixed type machine
An old dog and new tricks go together it seems
Our plasticity will let us both change and shift
It makes pathways; New neural links over the rifts

These connections might possibly benefit us
But this same mechanism can also do stuff
With a negative scope, the outlook and belief
We might think we're no good; Our lives filled with much grief

If we're constantly saying things inside our heads
Like self-doubting, self-loathing and feelings of dread
Then our brain will re-wire to fit this outlook
Once ensconced in this spectrum; Not easily shook

The same way that a person engages with time
Like activity, also is true with the mind
A small change in the way that we look at ourselves
The new thoughts and beliefs in our mind start to meld

With the make-up within that each one of us holds
Self-beliefs and self-doubts from our birth till we're old
Like a painter with ink; Our brush never is dry
We are always creating what's in our mind's eye

So don't hinder yourself with a picture that's bleak
Just believe in yourself and go get what you seek
You are capable of so much more than you know
All it takes is belief and in time it will show
Written: November 20, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Dec 2018 · 888
Never say 'goodbye'

You are the burning comet
shooting over darkened sky
---
The moment that we said "hello"
I knew I'd never say 'goodbye'
Written: December 12, 2018

All rights reserved.

As a dear friend you care for me
Sure as the air I breathe
To love me anymore than this
Not sure if I believe
Each day anew the Sun will rise
But nighttime hides away
Thus, your love and affection
If here, will never stay

Was given Cinderella's ball
Before midnight's last strike
Must scurry from the pageantry
Else, face a certain fright
Extravagance would disappear
Revealing to the Prince
Her true self in the deepest way
The pains that made her wince

Afraid once she was vulnerable
Find out was all a lie
A ****** that would pierce through her heart
With certainty she'd die
Truth though, if given that moment
Each flaw the Prince could see
Each one a part of Cinderella;
Part of her beauty

Suddenly, she understood
She did not have to hide
What was closed off long time ago
And buried deep inside
Still with some fear, her heart she gave
And with a lightning strike
Fulfilled with happiness and love
And stepped into the light
I was toiling over the structure of this poem. I often like short succinct lines but almost every even and odd line are paired and could easily make four, four-line stanzas each with 7 iambs. Curious what others might think. Any comments are appreciated.  

Written: November 12, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Heptameter format]
Dec 2018 · 4.0k
Phoenix
You can trip and take me down
You may hurt and make me cry
Even back me in a corner
Take it all from me, you’ll try

Make this pain inside my brain
Till the water works run dry
I’m confused or now insane
How I was when I was high

Spit at me and give me shame
Say that all my words are lies
Just a pawn inside your game
Hell is where I’ll burn and fry

Strip me till I have no name
In this shell to rot and die
Try to make me something plain
But will never say ‘goodbye’

Acting weak is how I feign
Have for you a big surprise
Nothing for you but disdain
Keep me down or so you tried

Not pathetic or so tame
Life I’m taking back is mine
Thunder roaring is the train
You’re a joke and one that's wry

No more constantly a strain
As I look out at the sky
Cork that’s popped from crisp champagne
Rising up and now I fly
Written: December 8, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Trochaic trimeter format with masculine ending]

This was written inspirationally and as a
tribute to a friend of mine who was dealing
with an unhealthy relationship and is now
finding her way out of it.
Dec 2018 · 3.2k
Swan Song

A lively debate
that inside I create
A seemingly
simple state
But this state
of affairs
Is like a ****** affair
The details
I wish not to share
Please,
don’t stare
For inside
I’m scared
Am I prepared?
Do I have
the ***** to do
what I really care?
Or am I going
to stay on this ship
of self-despair
Where
I can scream
my lungs ******
into the air
But does anyone care?
Do I even [email protected] care??

Maybe a life spared
but spare me the
retched [email protected]

of self-pity
I’m self-giving
It wreaks up the air
It’s noxious scent
is not one I care
to ever encounter
or fair

Let’s “clear the air”
and take on
what I want
from now on
No longer a pawn
who is living the tired
joke
of some pathetic
love song


No, THIS
is my “Swan Song”
Where I belong
This [email protected] is ON!

Climbing the mountain strong
Bellowing a chant
a song
That’s been so deep within
for so long
It can only come out
Right
Because “wrong”
does not belong
This virus
is airborne


No longer forlorn
All the darkness
is gone
You have been
forewarned
Are you ready?
Because it’s coming
Sounding the horn
Sacrificed
the firstborn
The “storm”
Once icy and cold
Now simmering warm
Going to bubble into
volcanic ash scorned
This Oath
hath been sworn
Tattered and torn
**** cloth
all that is worn

But forward my path
What’s behind me
My ***
The past
Worn out,
decayed,
and shriveling trash

All that
is gone
as I head
towards the dawn
Through the darkness
I’ve trekked
The Sun rises ahead
And with it
My song

My Swan Song
I am reborn
withered and worn
But still strong
I belong
I am one
with the Universe

The path before me
is brightly lit
with happiness and joy
No more patheticness
All the grit
and the spit
Broken teeth
All that [email protected]
It all meant something
It was THIS

Every bruise
Every brake
All the “wrongs”
and “mistakes”

Are what it takes
You can call it fate
or simply short of fatal
but since
neonatal
through this day till
Every day
I thankfully say
“Thank you”
for showing me the way
Because now I have
A love that stays
A true love
One that can’t
get away
Because I value Me
One ‘hopes’ or ‘prays’
But like a house
Each brick is laid
Onto the next
Foundation made
A sturdy house
Can’t blow away
Hard work put in
Made it this way
The same for me
The price I paid
But end result
A saving grace
Written: December 6, 2018

All rights reserved.
Dec 2018 · 3.3k
Lovers or Friends

You have brought back these feelings
Resurfaced those fears
Of the fire inside
that had so many tears
A weak flame that was dying
Alive once again
Has now muddied the line
between lover and friend

That's how it goes for me
I don't know about you
The words passing might be
in that moment were true
They kept traveling on
Possibly a comet
As my feelings grow strong
Expectations not met

Once again feel a fool
Even though it's not true
And my heart gave to you
Time again I will do
But this time not the same
It's because you weren't here
Could not reach out and touch
So our bodies weren't shared

Just the words that were said
And the sound of your voice
Resurrect from the dead
Could not stop; Had no choice
Seems like that's how it is
In your lasso I'm snared
All it takes is one tug
And again I will care

Pilot light to a stove
A slight twist and it strikes
You've invaded my heart
Bursting flame will ignite
But if carelessly handled
It's me who gets burned
Walked all over and trampled
Same dolt who won't learn

I have built up the walls
But we're both trapped inside
The tight space is so small
There's nowhere I can hide

Face-to-face with you now
It begins and it ends
I'll get through it somehow
Are we lovers or friends?
Written: October 30, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Dec 2018 · 3.0k
Sinful

Sins of the flesh

-

Are the ones I like best
Written: November 16, 2018

All rights reserved.
Nov 2018 · 891
Me & You

I may always be me

-

Yet, without you I am not
Written: November 10, 2018

All rights reserved.
Nov 2018 · 2.3k
Falling in love
For so long I have loved you and
This much I know is true
But now I find
For the first time
I fell IN-love with you
Written: October 30, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Limerick in:
Iambic Tetrameter format]
Nov 2018 · 3.3k
I wait but my wait is over
I'd say I 'miss you'
But can that possibly
convey the true
sentiment
of how I feel
each day?

I say 'no way'
A torment
is laid
A sacrifice
that must be made
This road before
I've paved
but this time
with new waves

No longer the waves
of goodbye
Yes, it's true
before we tried
Tears were cried
A mountain climbed
But alas,
it was not time
The bells hath not chimed

What is due
is due in due time
And good times
are what await
While I sit here and wait
Though my wait is over
For no more
will I second guess
I know who's best
Forget the rest
It is you I will hold
against my chest

A treasure chest
but not filled
with cliche jewels
and like items
No, instead
filled with what is
truly priceless
What money can't buy us
What each of us
is searching for
Longing for
Like a knock upon the door
or a child wanting more
Not prepared
for what's in store
Like one who's out
begging and poor

For so long
on the 'other' side
But not this time
for that time
has ended
and in the end
all wrong is now right
because I have you
right by my side

No longer that fear
that I kept inside
Wanting to run
Go away and just hide
But no matter
how much I try
(which I admit isn't much)
I can not hide
what I have inside
for you
Yes, it's true
A love that is true
Complete in its virtue
An everlasting truth
So cozy and cute
Like an old couple
smushed together
in our favorite coffee booth

But no toll
at this booth
More like
a 'kissing' booth
A carnival fair
Cotton candy
in the air
Along with the
ever-present
and ever-lasting aroma
of love
that together
we share
Hand-in-hand
Sit or stand
and into each other's
eyes we stare

To others
may not seem fair
But we're too love struck
to care
Our hearts
with each other share
A caring so deep
That a trench
in the sea
still couldn't possibly
in any way effectively
convey what we see
What we feel
What's inside you
and inside me
How we
just 'BELIEVE'
I feel it
Don't you?
I know you do
You feel it too
We've known for so long
What we now know is true

So, here at the end
our story begins
An epic journey
of sadness, heartache and loss
But the price must be paid
And in full payment we made
Day after day
But the cycle we break
Having cost us the cost

All that sh*t we just tossed
No more carrying of weight
Mark your calendars
This date
Because the waiting
is gone
I can finally see straight
Warm inside
Feeling great
And with one foot
First step I take
As we take the plunge
I would dive off of the Sun
or forever I'd run
Do all that must be done
You are now
and always have been
my number one
Never a contest
to be won
It was yours from day one
And will be forever
till time is done

I love you.
Written: November 23, 2018

All rights reserved.
Nov 2018 · 710
Rainbow's end
You'll always be at rainbow's end
Eternal *** of gold
A fairy tale told long ago
Forever I've been sold

I try so hard but out of reach
With each hand would grab hold
No need for words so please don't speak
Would never let you go

But when I give up in defeat
The cycle getting old
The hill to climb becomes too steep
Turn down 'Yellow Brick Road'

The Wizard who I wish to meet
Told he can take me home
I hear the scurrying of feet
New shadow is well known

But like they say it's "Trick-or-treat"
And both will I be shown
With me you stand here in the street
No longer I'm alone

Now found; forever I had seeked
But actions had been cloned
Reached out but this dream could not keep
Like that; I'm turned to stone

You laugh and turn off in retreat
A call without a phone
A diet forced myself to eat
These actions had been sewn

This game of love again I'm beat
And tossed like trash I'm thrown
You stole from me just like a cheat
This life I live alone

No tears to cry but inside weep
My head, the space I roam
No need to hide; Escape don't seek
From now on is my home
Written: November 13, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Heptameter in Common Meter format]
Nov 2018 · 2.7k
Be happy once more
Each day is a day like day had before
I don't know if I can take anymore
There's pain in my bones; Weak feeling and sore
I question myself what this life is for

Don't know what's ahead; Don't know what's in store
As happiness hides behind a locked door
The pressure, it builds to find it before
The hourglass now has emptied what's stored

The light from me left; Although I'm not sure
If ever I had a light that was pure
My soul's on death's bed; No hope of a cure
The word's left unsaid; I'll always want more

Waves lapping against the rocky beach shore
Each time takes away; A heavenly chore
Was true of my joy; A tunnel was bored
Inside from my soul true self of me poured

I ******* out myself like a *****
Each day is a lie that I can't afford
I wish I was maimed; Insides had been gored
I can not explain; Knight falls on his sword

But I am no knight; More like one who's poor
Been chewed up, discarded; Fruit with no core
Tried sharing with you; A piece of me tore
But know you disliked; Did nothing but bore

This poem is not new; These words said before
I've whined and cried too like those I deplore
A task left to do; Must settle the score
Each day starts anew; Be happy once more
Written: November 15, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic/Anapestic Mixed Tetrameter format]
Nov 2018 · 1.5k
Alonely
"I just want everyone to leave me alone!"


-----


".....I'm so lonely....."
Written: October 21, 2018

All rights reserved
Nov 2018 · 1.6k
One plus One

I'm very good with numbers; Always been inside my brain
They freely shift and move about; Allowed to dance and play
However, one equation baffles and confuses me
That one plus one will equal two; This is not what I see

It's people who must be confused; Wrong value they give "one"
Because the single integer alone can't have much fun
It's only with another "one" first one will come to life
With purpose, reason, starts to smile; Now feeling satisfied

The presence of the second one gives first one happiness
When one is standing all alone life has not much to give
Can not survive a vacuum; It is dark and empty space
No digit there to interact; One's value just a waste

Some people disagree with me; Say one is fine alone
And doesn't need another one for value to be shown
I don't completely disagree but my experience
That I feel most fulfilled with life when I receive and give

The elegance of the exchange; Where miracles exist
Life's greatest gift is that of love but with it there's one twist
How it takes two to tango; Love is not a solo dance
To give another all your heart is taking a big chance

But can't compare reward to risk; The blissful ecstasy
Cause "one" is more like just a half but with love it's complete
Written: October 24, 2018

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[Iambic Heptameter format]
Nov 2018 · 9.9k
Tea Light
There was a tiny tea light somewhat hid and tucked away
Was lost; To be forgotten in dark corners of my brain
The other day you called me breathing into it new life
A weak and dying flame now once again stood strong and bright

Tried quelling it with reason; Doused with plenty rationale
No matter what I threw at it would not leave or dispel
Use thoughts as tools or weapons; They are thrown out by the mind
Attempting to slice through the bonds to flame the heart did bind

But no where in my cognition is something quite that tough
In any way could **** that flame or from these bonds be cut
This statement even would be true the weakest of its days
But as I'm talking to you with each word you fan the flame

Was living out a lie and yet was unbeknownst to me
I thought my love for you could die if left and just let be
However, now I know too well this lasting present truth
My eyes saw you and ever since, I've been in love with you
Written: October 23, 2018

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[Iambic Heptameter format]
Oct 2018 · 8.3k
Echo
I sit alone in the dark
Will you turn on the light
Will you burn oh so bright
So I learn to feel right?

Overcome by the fright
Now my chest's feeling tight
I scream into the night
What is wrong and what's right?

From the shadow's, a glow
Hear a voice I don't know
My own fairytale show?
Nope, it's just an echo (echo) (echo)
Written: October 11, 2018

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[Anapestic Dimeter format]
Oct 2018 · 2.0k
I Surrender
There is no more happiness
Only the pain
Exist without meaning
I'm trapped in my brain

Each day brings a struggle
I don't want to meet
A white flag; I surrender
Accept my defeat
Written: October 7, 2018

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[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Oct 2018 · 4.9k
Life's a Joke

There is no love in my life
No one to hug and hold tight...


-

I don't feel that presence
To know they'll be there
I'm not warm and secure
By somebody who cares

-

I am empty; alone
Only hollow inside
On my face show a smile
But just want to cry
I am trapped in a cage
My one wish; To be free
Can't escape my own skin
Life's a joke played on me
Written: October 4, 2018

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[Iambic/Anapestic Trimeter then Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Sep 2018 · 473
Taking Pills
Open my eyes
I take my pill
To feel alive
I won’t sit still
No more complaints
No more joint aches
It may be fake
but I’m awake…

A trance-like state
It is a place
So I can hide
No need to face
There is no shame
No more disgrace
The astral plane
My inner space

-

A dreamland Utopian place;
my mind where it exists
Then leave me here, I wish to stay;
This place I want to live
The world out there’s too harsh and cold;
I’m tortured day-to-day
It’s safe in here; stay till I’m old
I’m better off this way
Though it’s not real, it’s real enough
As long as I believe
I’m not like you; I’m not as tough
So, lies are tales I weave
Turn into truths inside my head
My new reality
I live my life as if I’m dead
I’m fine; Just let me be
Written: September 29, 2018

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[Iambic Dimeter & Iambic Heptameter format]
Sep 2018 · 385
Night Owl
The Sun gone away
Now the blanket of night
Feel alive and awake
Time of ‘day’ I feel right
Want to go out and play
Others fill up with fright
Don’t know why I’m this way
I was given this life

The Moon casting its rays
A pale hue of gray-white
A new species is made
It’s a fabulous sight
Like a rise from the grave
From dark earth with no light
Sprouting roots; here to stay
Never quit; rather fight

A “night owl” they say
Dark abyss I take flight
Hefty price that I pay
Usually lonely plight
If somebody said ‘hey’
Nightly cake; take a bite
We were one in the same
My dark world could be bright

It’s something we all chase
Like a kid with a kite
The wind swept us away
But that string we held tight
We were scared and afraid
But deep down knew we might
Dividends would be paid
Able to reach new heights
Written: September 27, 2018

All rights reserved.
Sep 2018 · 2.3k
Stop and Take Time
‘Stop and take time’
is a phrase to remind
Often paced
in this race
we call life
We will face
Ourselves stumble and fall
far from grace
Get upset
thrown off track or lose sight of
and just plain forget

A respite put aside
Even small amount set
Where our life’s placed on pause
No more trying to get
We’re not running or chasing
This moment is still
Left behind is that drive
To consume and fulfill

For a minute it's tranquil
We clear our filled heads
Ruminating no more
on what’s done and what’s said
Meditating
A stillness
to find inner peace
Or get back what’s been lost
If not all;
just a piece
Written: September 26, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Sep 2018 · 10.3k
Who am I?
I don’t know who
I’m supposed to be
Who I am
or who they want me to be
The answer’s not
so easy to see
Not well known
There's an uncertainty
Knee-**** answer
is to be
wholly free
I'll explain
in detail
Paint a picture clearly
A tutor's not needed
No need to study
No higher degree
With candor
I’ll speak

Let me tell you about
so-called “un-pleasantries"
The list is quite lengthy
A few;
maybe three
Gonna rattle them off
What's been mentioned to me
Not the worst of mistakes
but a category
May irritate some
To others
‘let be’
Saying that’s who I am
and as such
accept me
A minority group
not the majority
and by far
and by few
They are lost in between

Some say I’m intense
and can be
quite chatty
Loquacious
a talker
‘Verbose’ tendency
Don’t deny what is true
But not always guilty
The day in
and day out
doesn't constantly stream
Not sustained
They can change
Just like who
we will be
Not robots
Not copies
or placed on CD
Live a life
of routine
but not one
on repeat
Even still
I must say
there are worse things to be

Empathetic and kind
I give generously
All I have
My last dime
Will donate
each penny
I'm not searching for credit
Approval don't seek
Like to make others happy
Inside, I’m complete
When I focus on others
No discrepancy
I’m not dwelling
or thinking
of my tendencies
Please don't offer
your pity
or give charity
Try to bend; compromise
don’t perceive me
as weak
I'm the chivalrous type
Will get down
on one knee
Not walled off or closed up
Bare my soul
Give freely
But there's more
locked inside
So when time comes to speak
It’s a flood
a deluge
There's an intensity
Give too much
Give too quick
Try to stop
inside keep
I can bottle
it up
but sometimes
it still peaks
Little may trickle out
Suddenly
it will seep
If an access is given
Explodes
in a heap
When I love
I dive in
You may think I’m a freak
The emotional type
Tug heart strings
and I’ll weep
Not a blubbering fool
my emotions
run deep
A calm hand
I can sooth
Situation-ally
In a crisis
I’m strong
This unfortunately
is something
that I know
But don’t wish on
to speak
Life presents me
two roads
With both closed off
to me
Feel locked up
in a cage
while I look
to be free

A locked door
Here I stand
desperately for the key
Wanting answers
Assistance
A new found decree
Need a mantra
A mission
systemically
affecting systems
The true stem
of what’s me
Fundamental
My core
Sprouting roots from a tree
Happiness from the Sun
or beneath canopy
Not about
getting answers
Away goes the fee
Hamlet asked long ago
If 'to be or not be'
I know that it's different
Just work with me please
My point
is the question
In life, what to seek?
A life
that’s authentic
or society
We conform
and adapt
What they want us to be
If like me
you're unsure
It can drive you crazy
Take a chance?
And be pure
Live a life that's taint free
In return
you'll endure
Side remarks
and critiques
Is the juice worth the squeeze?
Be like them
or unique
Written: September 22, 2108

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Hexameter Format]
Sep 2018 · 2.9k
Never forget
“Never forget”
It’s structure set
there’s something that
I just don’t get
When people told
to take a sec
The thousands lost
Their lives just swept

And many more
forever wept
An empty hole
with families wrecked
Commemorate
the date is set
As if a giant hurdle leapt

Most people easily forget
A numb that lulls
themselves will let
They patronize
like I’m a pet
Their pettiness
to me will vex

It’s takes more than
just bowing necks
A promise
for one day is kept
Real charity
Not on the net
Read Facebook posts like
“What the heck?”

My boiling blood
want to snap necks
A danger sign
like floor is wet
Not military
or a vet
But a salute
those lost will get

Just for one day
forget the rest
On this day we will act our best
Let bias and all hatred rest
Each other love
Hearts will be blessed
Written: September 11, 2018

All rights reserved.
Sep 2018 · 2.6k
Chameleon
A needed look
of happiness
A smile upon my face
But way deep down
inside's
a hole
Let no one go
behind the gates

A changing shape
A life
that’s fake
The effort needed
I will make
Ingredients
A cake
I bake
Like shedding skin
I’ve been replaced

So 'cut-n-paste'
but life don't taste
My past
aren't steps
that I retrace
Each day
a race
Response; quick haste
Hide deep inside
Alone disgraced

A fall from grace
A gracious thought
Was never true
Instead
was bought
A jagged pace
Should be erased
One big mistake
How I
was taught

Repeating loop
Forever caught
An ending saved
For me
it's naught
My life I’ll waste
Won't have
what's sought
The things
I got
Did not embrace

Peered over shoulders
into space
Life long mistake
Dug my own grave
My hopes and dreams
I gave
or trade
All washed away
The price I pay

A birthing brightness
Road was paved
What love
I had
Chose not
to stay
None in return
and none
was saved
A dying star
begins to fade
Written: August 26, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Octameter format]
Aug 2018 · 47.2k
Pieces of me
Pieces of me
thrown away
like trash
Never consulted
Never asked
The direct result
of another’s conviction
or more commonly seen
consequences
from blind ambition

Paranoid
The fix is in
But no invitation
for me,
former me
or forever me
and all of my imitations
beset by my
limitations

Forwardly I lean
step in between
lines upon lines
hidden;
can’t be seen
Falling ill
Now trapped
by its machine
And from my vein;
My blood I spill

A still surface
with sticky sheen
amber tones
from which
I glean
a reason
Thrilled
What it might mean
A hunger
that
can not be filled

Nothing but lies
giving me chills
A shell
with values
not instilled
Instead
it’s dread
Their words
I’m fed
"Nutrients"
to fill my head

My outer skin
Its layer
thin
Not to attacks
No single act
or prayer
could patch
and fill it in
A hole
that’s black
is my first sin

A game
in which
no way to win
and no ending
once it
begins
With opened eyes
commence to see
The dorsal fins
surrounding me

Head starts
to spin
What could have been?
It doesn't matter
in the end
because
there's nothing
here for me
A demon-like reality

Where what you seek
Placed at your feet
The icing; sweet
Choices; not three
Have cake or eat
One choice not two
But want to eat
and have it too

All efforts
to retrieve the treat;
An outcome that
ends in defeat
A princess swept
off of her feat
But this feature
princess;
a creature
Spirit of
a soulless seeker

Deceitful speaker
Flames;
he’ll eat ya
Offers pain
Can’t heal;
life drained
Then reaching out
to use
life-line
but with each ring
hope further wanes

An answered call
done just in time
The chills
running all down my spine
Stand tall
just like Douglas-fir pine
With racing thoughts
filling my mind
I will be saved
Free from it all
God must exist
No time to stall
In battle
warriors
may fall
but no man's ever left behind

Only to find
With said spent dime
A dynamite kind of answer
-
A type
that might
cause strife
Can't plan for
Needed answer
Plight
like cancer
New chance to live
Worldly romancer
On planet Earth
A tiny dancer

A romantic thought
to think
fight fought
Instead a sinking ship
just dropped
This life?
If could
an ‘OUT’
would opt
No more
can take
Just make
it stop
Written: April 17, 2018

All rights reserved.
Aug 2018 · 18.2k
Maniac
A presence
presenting
a continuous torment
torturing
incessantly
until, even with cessation
only a tenuous self
is present
leaving only the resin

The maniacal
manifestation
is an infestation
festering around in my head
Its existence,
a creation
created at inception,
hacking my brain
Forever a trap
creating a
maniac

Acrimonious
to all mankind
Not acting
like a man
Not one word
that's kind
Committing crimes
and getting oneself
committed
A deviation
creating a deviant
Shifted values
due to a devalued
self

An esoteric
essence
seemingly sentenced
on this journey
by judge and jury,
not by one's peers
because the many
not able
to peer
into this individuality
The duplicity
of duality
that is my reality

Challenging myself
to a dual
One in which
I both
win and lose
But in the end
not breaking even
or coming out ahead
Always ending
further back
instead

Its back breaking
and always aching
Pain from which
not capable of
faking
Effort I’m taking
Of myself making
Time for a new king
For kinsmanship
is aloof
And this man’s ship
has sailed away
Sipping a port
at a shipping port
And yet
slipping away

Deeper still
In the depth
of still water
Sinking
into the abyss
Lost and gone
But not missed
Is this the end
of our fable?
Or will our “hero”
enable himself
and in the end
be able
Deciding who to be?
Cain or Abel?
For the hurricane
is hurrying along
Its aim always the same
Constant pain
A payment he feels
for the displaced
placement
which just in case
is placed
same place
he went

Ink in the face
A disgrace
When suddenly
encased in his brain
are racing thoughts
of a plan
he’s ace’n

A label of insanity
given by those
who claim sanity
when the reality
is their thoughts are free
and optimize
a sanitized
and homogenized
batter
And in the end
it doesn’t matter

Offering suggestions
in which they
feel threatened
Pathways congested
and protested
Testing them
Even worse,
bested
A problem beset
upon them
Time to steady
the flock
Roll n’ Rock
Inoculations we’re getting
Start the injections

“It’s been an honor”
Mounting my Lipizzaner
A disarmer
A charmer
The armor
‘mi amor’
Leaving me
wanting more
But as they keep score
the task is daunting
A life that’s haunting
with such splendid decor
-
Yet, can’t take any more
Their taunting
is leaving me sore
So to the atmosphere
I open that door
and flying up above
I soar

Forever more
Feel pain no more...
Written: August 17, 2018

All rights reserved.
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