I miss you sadly and so much!
And even if I just don’t know you,
Or maybe I won’t nay find you
And in no case and never lose you.

I miss the words. I miss so much
The words, that never will be spoken,
The dreams, that knotted not on me.
They’ll be fulfilled not us, but someone.

I miss the hands. I miss so much!
They would be able to hug sweetly.
I miss the hair, careless a bit,
And lips… Yes, lips! I miss them really!

I miss their touching, hot and sultry,
Which can just never been delivered.
But even as I never know you,
I’ll love you truly with a quiver.

I’m kissing your silence!
It’s so true and unfailed.
It is my escapement
Of not being shamed.

I’m kissing your voice!
For me it’s the world!
And when I depart,
Let it to moan.

I’m kissing you whole,
All wrinkles, all moles.
You are my safe refuge,
No doubts, no faults.

I’m left without you…
It’s not terrifying. Not at all!
My door is closed, lights are off.
My head is delirious on top of all.

I’m left without you…
It’s not queer. Come on!
Our love is farce. It’s long been known.
We must stop playing it. It’s gone.

I’m left without you…
It’s not hard. I got this!
And I won’t break! Don’t think about it.
Wanna check? Stay out of my way, please.

I’m left without you…
It’s not good. It’s empty.
I must pay for mistake.
There’s a pain clot inside me
This all is mine! It’s my plenty!

I’m painting my love in autumn colors.
I’m painting the flame of leaves underfoot,
The greyish sky, rainy and foggy.
The crying love is a natural mood.

Boarded benches are in the park
Under the shade of naked trees.
And fog is ahead, lots of fog.
My love is hidden in it indeed.

Behind the fog my love is flowing
Inexorably, irrevocably like a water.
It’s running off to nowhere away,
Without a trace forever in autumn.

I can’t look up from you! No way!
I dig into you like a hungry beast!
I’m so little! **** little of you!
I breath in you and touch your lips!

I want to melt into your eyes,
Retain forever your heatbeat!
I really need you! Need you much!
As air to breath! As light to see!

I’m ready to run to you wherever you are!
I’m ready to crawl to you! Just call!
If you want I will be your shadow
Or I’ll wait on your side.
Don’t care at all!

It’s stuffily. The heat’s compressing my temples.
There’s no place to go. Summer’s in power.
I can’t sleep at all. Insomnia’s hurting my eyes.
It’s like I won’t sleep until the early hours.

All windows are opened, but there’s no breeze.
Oh, how long this night is dragging on!
I remember you said “Bye” to me someday
And just went off somewhere, not cared on…

It’s stuffily. It’s sleepless. I want to drink.
My eyes are like two all-fired huge *****.
You thought I’d be crying and begging in tears.
And I’m so tired of you and your rancors…

I’m tired of being your shadow.
Wherever you are, I’m near.
I live at your dictation.
I’m chained by your sight here.

I used to live in silence.
To love, to suffer and no words at all.
If it hurts me, I bear without squirming.
If you only knew, how I want to bawl.

I’ve learned to be not certain,
Unheard, unnoted, noneself.
You see, I can be your shadow.
But I’m tired! I want to be myself!

I run away from myself.
I don’t know where.
Maybe where no one can find me,
never.
Maybe where I can be myself
as such.
Where it doesn’t matter whether I’m genius
or nothing much.

I run away from myself.
And I don’t hide.
Even though no one will think of me,
if I’m not specified.
Even though no one will regret
or sadden.
I’m like a ship: it’s sailed
and totally forgotten.

I run away from myself.
Don’t follow me. No need to!
I really doubt that my future
truly suits you.
Stay here as if you didn’t know me
at all.
I’m like a ticket: it’s simply to lose me
in whole.

I should allow myself doing nothing.
It's odd, it's not a bit me at all.
Working and working, on and on always.
There's short of days and nights noway in whole.

I should allow myself off-the-cuff,
Thinking or straining nowise entirely.
Just sit around and doing nothing,
And savour my unsweet coffee calmly.  

I should allow myself simply never
Leave my desires and dreams until later.
I'm not forever with this time exactly.
I'm a grain of creation in fact, no greater.

I should allow myself to live truly,
To live this life as it's given to me since day one.
And now simply live, there is no hurry.
I've already much more and awry done.

I split in half
And lost one half
I couldn’t find it anywhere
Inspite of painful search across.
I stayed without it forever.

And I walked half
With limps throughout.
I didn’t give in and walked up.
I looked for my half, stayed for and hoped.
I didn’t give up, spite all hard.

And time went by,
My faith was weaken.
But I got stronger and sure all.
I let it go and I stopped waiting.
No search, no hope, nothing at all.

And I am walking
Half and half,
Walking alone with no one near.
But now I know how live in half,
With splitted fate there and here.

I thought it would turn out.
I thought the time acted in tune with me.
I thought I was strong.
I thought it would be like a movie.

I know it was my mistake.
I thought it all seemed to me.
I can't believe still
That the fate can so bully me

There was so much I wanted to say to you,
But I didn’t make it.
Like a beast at bay I was in a hurry
And eager to thataway.
I thought: “I’ll achieve my goals and dreams
That I need and then
Everything will go and run, and fly,
In a right way.”

It seemed to me that my story
Will surely happen.
And I exchanged myself recklessly
For nothing important at all.
I never imagined that my life
Would be depopulated,
And what’s left of it will turn into
A paper ******* in whole.

I’ve got to gather it all by any means, really.
I must have foolishly outdone my fate all over.
And you… Sorry, I will be honest with you, my dear:
There was so much to say to you, but I thought over.

I want to say "Morning" to you every day,
When I wake up sweetly at first light,
To drink coffee with you under lilac
On the open terrace, laughing on sight.

I want to plunge into my thought darkness
And get only major of them therefrom.
They mantle my day, and it'll be cleaner.
And happiness will be my master for all.

I want to throw out all foul thoughts
About my fierce fortune in whole.
I want to revive, to cheer up, to uncover
And get off meek beggings forever at all.

I want to stop making the Deity from pain.
But I've got nothing work out at full.
And I continue to kowtow to my pain,
Begging for save as the latest fool.

I want to be your scarf,
So soft and mohair,
To warm you in snowfalls
And even in rainy autumn.

I will embrace your neck
Like a mother cradles her child.
I’ll save the warmth for you.
Put on the scarf, be so kind.

I want to be your scarf.
Oh, don’t wear scarfs? Well now,
If I can’t softly warm you,
I’ll be your skin somehow.

I want to breathe in the field,
Where the wind is warm,
And drink the air deeply.
It’ll be so awesome!

I want to lie in the grass,
Give up to the sun bliss,
And fall subtly asleep
In the shade of trees like in a kiss.

I want to inbreathe more deeply
The honey odour of flowers.
I want to hug the air
And be in there for hours.

I want to make it true!
I need it for being alive!
I'll hug the air! I’ll kiss the sun
And maybe I will revive!

I want to go home so much!
I want to go to my open essence.
There’s coffee on the table. It’s undrunk.
And there’s my future, which is pure taintless.

I want to go home, to my place.
The time is ripe: my heart and soul are holed.
To hell with being along! I go home!
I am invisible. And here I am cold.

All songs are sad, the poems aren’t better.
Maybe I should remake them all?
Re-write, re-concoct, re-live, re-slobbered!
Maybe they should be re-baked in whole?

So that instead of the night there’s the sun!
And in place of the blizzard there’s summer.
And no sadness! Out with the blues!
No more tears! No ill lucks and dramas!

And what about love? We’ll keep it on!
But let’s go and change my loving colors!
Instead of the rain and sleepless nights,
We’d paint white camomiles and flashy covers.

The wind would always be tail-on,
And love would live into old life.
Cinnamon, almond, vanilla aromas…
Am I right? Is that the smell of happy life?

I’ll write such “love story”, where they both
Love each other and were both faithful.
The sun shines brightly, birds sing clearly,
And they both live till their death in full.

I’ll finish writing this loving poem
And put it on the back shelf grandly.
I can be inaccurate, but I don’t like it.
And in my poems I won’t lie fully!

All songs are sad, the poems aren’t better.
I won’t remake them all in no way.
I love and I write my fanciful life!
And I will do it further alway!

Let’s dance in our half-light room,
To our melody, you and me.
I have no evening dress and you also haven’t .
But I just ask you, dance with me.

You are so shy right now. It’s so sweet.
Come to me closer.I’m trembling whole.
Take my hand, and come nearer.
I’ll smile and won't say any words at all.

We’ll be circling at the edge of the Universe
In our room, where half-light is.
We’ll be silent just to dissolved
In our love. Two hearts’re in time with.

I'm gently placing my hands on your shoulders.
They are so dear, my own ones!
Let us dance. It's our evening,
Our dance under stars at our love.

They hurt their Love, and she forgave them,
All their fears and their whim.
And threw herself as onto a scaffold
To save them both, and not her or him.

They didn't take care of Love, but could be
More merciful, tender and kind to her.
She gave them happiness and so much charity
Up to the last day, while they were with her.

They killed their Love so bitter and wildly!
They ribbed their Love. They burnt her all,
With all their wishes, dreams and chances,
With their faith in Love in whole!

They forgot their Love. They simply buried
Their tender Love. And she went away,
Without 'Goodbye', remained as a shadow,
Irretrievable, lost, forever, noway...

I’m gonna lie on your shoulder.
I’m so calm on it.
I don’t feel pain of my body.
I’m so peaceful indeed.

I’m gonna nuzzle into
The bush of your hair in whole.
I’ll smell the almond flavor
And that’s all I need at all.

I’m gonna hug me by your hands.
And lose in embrace! Don’t speak!
Don’t remove your hands! I please you!
They are my love coverlid.

Love for me is a gift,
Heaven bestowed.
It’s a rushing waterfall,
The amazing desired award.

Love for me is happiness,
Which is forever appeased.
And if you get it suddenly,
Please, don’t ever miss it.

Love for me is an evening,
Where candles are burning and nobody…
You’re gently stroking my hand and whispering
Something solely for me.

Love for me is the world,
Where’re both of us - me and you!
My photo is in your phone screen.
My darling, how I love you!

You asked me: "May be it's love?"
I didn't know, what to say.
If it's dark without you every time.
So I can't even see myself anyway.

If wine is water without you!
If the air around is more bitter than poison!
If I'm not me without you!
Every day less of you I feel like an old some.

Every my step is a step into hollow.
No forward or backward, into an abyss.
I'm empty, I'm nobody without you!
And every my next step will be amiss!

‘May be it's love?’ - you asked me again.
I realize that I'm lost at all.
I don't breathe, I don't live without you,
And the Universe is tiny for me in whole!

I tripped up you as time wore on.
I foundered on your lying piety.
I came with you forgetting all.
I came to you against legality.

I trusted you inspite your silence.
I put behind all that I had.
Your stingy speech and thick-skinned temper
Were my salvation and no bet!

My world centered on you in whole.
It’s like I fell out of life.
I had no reason to go there
Where you were not with all your lies.

And what is now? I’m here again.
And there’s no peace around at all.
I stand here naked with damaged fate
And try to meet my shame to all.

My heartlet is crying, crying.
It means it’s hurt of lying.
It means it’s been stepped on again.
Its faith has been killed disdain.

And again it’s like an abandoned whelp
In a field of unmown grass with no help,
Is looking for path and crying, crying.
It means it’s in lots of pain. It’s dying.

I woke up early today.
I woke up close to the sun.
There's an abyss of thoughts in my head,
Those that can't be there. None.

I try not to think. I try to sleep back.
But it's no use! They press for no why.
They press in my temples! They press pack my chest!
Thoughts of those, who scarifies.

I don't know where to run me whole?
Where can I find my peace?
It's my hopelessness... It's my end...
I guess they are my guilt and penance.

I'm getting used to being alone again,
To noiseless evenings, torturing by coolness,
To sickening evenings with their twinkle stars,
Which harshly tear my soul by stuffy stillness.

I'm getting used to being alone again,
Alone with Chopin in all the evenings long.
I fall upon my pillow and shut off,
And in the morning my alarm's 'ding-****'

Well now, hello, my dear, and come in.
Where've you got lost, my sweet and precious friend?
We'll wade through whole life with you, my loneliness,
From this time forth up even to the end.

I’ve stepped again into my old life.
I know it’s nohow and nowhere.
I lived there, yeah, I was there long.
But I don’t pick out it, however.

I keep in mind my love to you.
I lost myself, chucked wildly and fouly.
My life was ruined and I was nowhere.
I swapped myself for you blindly.

I was cheerful for you and gloomy,
Freaky and as a gold itself.
If you wanted, I could be a dummy.
But I’ve never been just myself.

I always was near, but you didn’t sight of.
I left one day, but you returned.
And I’m here again. Again it’s all here!
And what is needless is simply crossed.

I’m like a kitten, blind and lost,
I’m crawling out at sounds or light.
I’ll hide in this life for now perharps
As if I’m not here for quite.

Hello, whom I'll never meet,
Never hear, never forget,
Never loose and never find,
Never spot and never mind.

Hello, who'll turn up in my dreams,
Who'll never let me to taste the pain,
Who'll never betray and never lie,
Who'll never depart without goodbye.

I take leave of you, my unknown one,
My unsearchable and remarked for none,
My unnamed and mythic for last,
But so endlessly and sweetly loved.

Never, never look back!
All that happened to you is gone.
There’s no need to crucify yourself.
This all is forever gone.

Never try to return it all
That you somehow missed back then.
If it passed you suddenly by,
It’s not yours! Let it go away!

Never regret your past!
It is forever with you!
Bad or good it’s solely yours!
It’s only your skill! Your true!

You now look around!
Look at all nearby.
These’re the ones who believe in you!
This’s what you need the while!

Save yourself for those
Who’s faithful to you in soul.
It’s your great gift! The gift from heaven!
Appreciate them! They’re here in whole!

Everything’s broken, shattered,
Scattered completely asunder.
And I’m left as a steppe mat grass.
Only crows go round and thunder.

Only crows go round, and their wings
Chase out my reckless life.
I should run after her, but I’m beat.
I can’t catch up with her. I’m lowlife.

I’m lowlife. I can’t hand her back.
I would apologise! I'd confess!
Everything went amiss with us.
It’s a shame that we'll get no chance.

No more words. You’re right, it’s enough
Of mussy clusters of meaningless phrases.
All thoughts are chilled and are wrapped in pain.
It’s not an interesting story for us.

Colors have faded, cleaned out with time.
The beauty’s become decrepit in whole.
The past has been a depressing burthen.
An emptiness’s hanged over us in full.

There’re no more words.
Feelings are rootless.
We’re free of each other.
Our love is bootless.

You bring me back into love.
Wherefore?
I’ve been their long and hard.
I don’t want anymore.

It’s not working out at all.
We don’t grow together.
I want to obey her, I try,
But I can no ever.

I try to resist like mad,
But it’s a dead end.
I argue with her full-time.
I guess I’m negligent.

I’m looking for bogus truth
All the time.
I recognize it’s inanely,
But it’s not crime!

I thing I’ll leave here for long,
On the shore.
I’ll make a fire. I’ll be here to stay.
And no more.

One minute to say “Goodbye”.
No words and no need to think of,
No grief of grudges and no regrets.
It’s the last minute of our love.

Your cold look and measured breathing,
Your silence and breathing ‘in out’ in tune.
Could you and I imagined, my dear,
That we’d end up like this as soon?

The minute is dreadfully long.
It’s like the time completely stops.
We can soothe the heart, freeze the soul,
But we can’t get pardon from love. No hopes.

I feel like I’m being hugged by sadness.
My heart aches inside out. I’m kind of cold.
Over and over I am not sleeping …
The dawn is knocking hardly by its maul.

The dawn is ruthless to me now.
He’s tearing into my windows whole,
Unceremoniously, coolly claiming
That he’s the boss! He owns to all!

And I’d have to obey. What am I?
It’s not the first dawn and broken night.
And I’ve already realized that
I’m alone and it’s my unique right.

My sadness is holding my hand tightly.
She’s poor and orphaned at all.
I think I’ll stay with her for a short time
While I get stale here for all.

Please, listen to me.
I know you’ve done it forever.
Maybe you’ve done it more than enough,
More than you should not now or ever.

Please, listen to me.
I swear to you, I will be silent.
And in my silence you’ll see my soul,
Which will be crying out of mind.

My soul’s alive.
It needs much power to go on living.
It simply wants to go ahead
Without guile, with only pure feeling.

Please, listen to me.
I know you’ll still do it forever.
But no matter what happens to any of us,
Please, listen to me whatever, whenever.

Reckless unlucky poor wretch
She’s roamed much. She’s suffered much.
And no matter what happens around her,
It’s all the one – she is still such.

She was in any way kind to world.
She never had any blackhearted thoughts.
She trusted much, dissolved in love.
She gave herself with no second thoughts.

She slipped away into her love.
She was sure no poison was there,
No rude and mortal human drafts.
There was only the truth! And nothing else never!

But there was a lot of dirt in real,
A lot of stiffness, a lot of falsehood.
She gave her love with no doubt an’ fear
And they in reply only croak of crows.  

She’s so panny plain, naive and homely
And she still live against the odds.
She roams the world and dumbly shuffling
Forever forbids herself to love.