I jumped through billion hoops to get reaction Yet, through getting it I achieve no satisfaction The malfunctioning brain brings pain To my lackluster stumbles through life, filled with strain And though I try to maintain a facade of "alright" In this tunnel, it's harder and harder to see any light
Fight back, fight back for the heck of it Spit, blood and sweat for spilled for the lit of it Like check your own pulse to make sure you are still alive Like challenge yourself to not dare to feel deprived
At this moment, I dare to ponder Of this nihilistic nightmare, am I the founder?
Now floating up and down I spin, colliding into sound Like whales beneath me diving down I'm sinking to the bottom of my Everything that freaks me out The lighthouse beam has just run out I'm cold as cold as cold can be be
I want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean Let the waves up take me down Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down Let the rain come down
Where is the coastguard I keep looking each direction For a spotlight, give me something I need something for protection Maybe floating junk will do just fine the jets have sunk, I'm left behind I'm treading for my life believe me How can I keep up this breathing
Not knowing how to think I scream aloud, begin to sink My legs and arms are broken down With envy for the solid ground I'm reaching for the life within me How can one man stop his ending I thought of just your face Relaxed, and floated into space
A bird this morning sang upon my window sill And from this I was made to realize All that was and was not real The intensity of your stare The way it made me feel Until I finally saw My fatal flaw Your heart I was unable to steal
****, I was killed again. It hurt so much. But I won't be the one begging. Now I must bury myself Back into that sky. Call me monster, Call me what you will. All I know is I won't die still. I've been hung thirty times. I've been a victim of horrid war crimes. Lived enough to fill 500 lives. Death doesn't touch me. Like spoiled meat. This degrading body of mine, can't rest and won't stay in line. What did I do to deserve this? How is this immortality, When my mind has reached fantastical fatality?