You took my  broken heart  into your hands
And tore it into billion pieces
You see the tears that  fall from my face, and
the screams that come out of my mouth
But you didn't care.
U just laughed at me
Because you know in this battle you´ve won.
You fooled me down to the nit and gritty,
Even when I knew you were just using me,
You threw my tore up, bleeding heart on the cold, hard pavement
And left without saying a word
Leaving me there to die alone

You gave me a thousand reasons why,
You made it a mandate that I be with you.
You showed patience and care,
How Could not have believed you.

You painted a perfect picture of tomorrow,
A priceless canvas that would draw so many stares,
I fell for it, And I got glue.
How did I not see that it was all just an illusion.

You drew the curtain, and I saw the dark reality
Although you remembered every word I said,
You never tried to know me,
You 'crammed' your way into me,
Just so you could forget when you had me.

Surely the joke is on me,
You got me so fooled,
You made me think this was a happy ever after,
Clearly that kind of love only happens in fairytales.

You searched to the depth of their profiles instead of searching for my soul.
You scrolled down endless streams of girls who gave you false dreams while I waited in reality.
You showed yourself to a few but never all of yourself to me.
I’ll give it to you. I believe in you and your career more than ever now. You really stuck to your role for an entire year. You made all my worries of you not loving me seem like a myth. You tricked me into thinking my feelings of unworthiness didn’t need to exist.
You won the Oscar for that one in my eyes. Congratulations you fooled me, you can fool anyone now.

<>

she raw whispered, edginess deep in her throat,
combo of delighted annoyance coated in
wary weariness of she-wanted-wonder,
what he wants that I can keep/take?

my untold secrets he knows how?
needy aches unsatisfied uncovering,
his knowings creates unfamiliar needs,
accentuates secretions of secrets discovering

did not ask for revelations without no resolution,
how dare he tense me in private places hid,
my properties aren’t his, my neck, eyes,
tonguing my senses is crazy senseless

this schema, this tracing of a figurine,
braising my body in his, its own sauces,
while perfume of mine unrequested are mined,
taken away in railway cars to his treasure houses

left utterly gagging and gasping
to hell with him, unbounded gone,
to heaven by him, I went bounding up,
giving me that everything I never desired

but only knew him as the my-mysterious,
tales unwritten yet tensed in the familiar,
poems elucidating, all that I didn’t
write, knew,  but never uttered

now, now! all are freely spoke aloud,
outed, foundering, highlighted and now
decomposing me, I’m honestly betrayed by
what he calls the sense, the knowing of the unknown




Friday, March 6th, Twenty Twenty,
2:47am

Sometimes,
life makes you into a
tiny seed
and throws you into a
pile of ****.

But do not be fooled.

And do not be brought down.

With the right thoughts
and the right actions,

that pile of **** can become

fertilizer

and help you grow even stronger
than before.

The words you said , and the way you loved me.
I never questioned myself that you would be temporary.



- I thought wrong.

empty promises are full
filled with unplanted flowers
by the voices of our loved

the seeds whisper ***** words
that are used against us
they are manipulation
in its most exquisite form

we are completely blinded
we are fooled to think it’s love
let me tell you a secret
empty promises are not