written in collaboration
with Glass Slipper Girl


Is it ecstasy or agony
How you make me feel
What you do to me
Bliss when I am with you
When you're gone, I'm incomplete

My mind you have infected
Gave you my heart
Which you gladly keep
With just one taste, I was addicted
You fulfilled my every need

Yet, I fear that everything's twisted
It's too late though;
I'm in too deep
I've been robbed; only you I suspected
My mind convicts while my heart sets you free

If common sense is a train
then I missed it
Took a chance, circumstance was defeat
All my plans, with one dance
You dismissed them
Still, these actions I'll always repeat

-----------------                 -----------------

Is it fantasy or reality
fleeting feelings defying gravity
what you do to my sanity
bona fide madness
sensuality off the charts
our own poetic sensual Rhapsody

Dizzy dazed lost in your Oasis
chasing your sweet enthralling embraces
**** salacious temptations
seductions of ***** flirtatious
stunning me senseless
leaving this Texas girl breathless

A harden criminal
for “the love” you had become
detained and handcuffed
you had to know I was gonna run
trapping a thief of hearts
just can't be done
escaping your enticing assaults
this prison cell sweetheart
made her jailbreak, the Great Escape
before you knew it
I was already gone

Yet, sometimes
every now and again
with my “Get out of Jail” free card
this fugitive still takes a look back
wishing I hadn't gone so far
jumping that railroad car
running away from those
Train Tracks of Love

She loves me
She loves me not
She ***** me
Then I'm forgot
She dumps me
But still I'm caught
Took from me
All that I've got

Quite funny
Yet also not
Days sunny
Now just a thought
A bright dream
That I have lost
Was once sweet
But turned to rot

You say goodbye
But you don’t really mean it
It’s just a lie
This before – I have seen it
We’re stuck in time
Destined to keep repeating
You say goodbye
But you don’t really mean it

There is love in this world
I’m quite sure it exists
But each day all I see
Is the venom we spit
Not a fact that is true
During times face to face
Blatantly not displayed
When we share the same space

It’s much different — the world
Pictured on my TV
So much hatred and anger
We’re fed constantly
This not done by mistake
It’s a view-point that’s skewed
Days are lost and forgotten
Of unbiased news

In a way it’s an outcome
That’s obvious though
After all, they're a business
Competing to grow
Their conglomerate masks
— To confuse purposely —
Help conceal the ubiquitous
Corporate I.D.


But before I begin
To get into all that
How 'bout where currently
Social media's at
Dude, the polarization
Is out of control
People talk but don't listen
So, how can they grow?

There are those type of people
Who always complain
Constant ranting on Facebook
“The world's gone insane”
Sharply pointing their fingers
At others to blame
With a mind that's closed off
Never willing to change

Thus, myopically they
Venture out in the world
Base reality skewed
Thoughts of others — “absurd”
In their brains, nothing new
As they follow the herd
Those who think like they do
Are the ones that get heard

Constant posting of thoughts
But their goal not to find
What is factually true
Or to open their minds
Seeking others with whom
Rhetoric they opine
All who share the same view;
Somehow thinking that's fine


A time not long ago
When engaged socially
Often effort was made
As a slight courtesy
Certain topics you stayed
Far away from to keep
Things polite and in no way
Profane or obscene

Like religion or money
Such topics, taboo
Politics — the trifecta –
One should avoid too
In mixed company
Talk of such things would be rude
Due to strong held beliefs
In a cinch; start a feud

But today we’re ‘connected’
And openly share
Every thought in great detail
We do without care
Not a second is taken
To stop and just think
Acting on every impulse
‘The Kool-Aid’, we drink

Taking sides; choosing teams
Mindset — “Them versus us”
If you think like I do
Then, you’re someone I trust
Else, you’re ‘foe’ — ‘opposition’
I spit at and cuss
You become less than human
And here lies the crux


You may have an opinion
Or strong held belief
About various topics
Obscure or decreed
But when faced with somebody
Who doesn't agree
Do you take time to listen
Or just wait to speak?

You’re entitled to feel
And to think like you do
These same rights must extend;
Other people get too
Disagreeing is fine
Might not share the same view
But each other respect
It’s a simple virtue

Just because I have thoughts
Not aligning with yours
Doesn’t give you permission
To pull out a sword
A belief is by nature
What’s held in our core
Each is free to believe
This, endowed when we’re born


And with this I must add
Aggregating a thought
You think “different” is bad
When in truth, it is not
There’s a reason ‘vanilla’
Is used as cliché  
“Variety’s the spice of life”
— As they say

All our differences truly
What makes humans great
Shared opinions discussed
And put up for debate
But like cooking a meal;
Serving many who ate
Perhaps some don’t enjoy
Yet, for many “It’s great!”

So, kick back and relax
There is no need to stress
What you feel and conclude
May not be like the rest
But alone or in pack
Your thoughts make up what’s YOU
Suppositions, impressions
And your points of view

If you have strong beliefs
Publicly that you share
Doing so with conviction
There’s no need to fear
Realize opposition
Must also prepare
We can argue; debate
Just please, “Handle with care”

Therefore, I’ll respect you
I ask please, respect me
After all, we’re all people
Our thoughts should be free
We can think how we want
Basic truth — we decree
It’s a right shared by all
Like the air that we breathe

There will always be change
That much is the same
Yet it's not the change
But the chains
That mire me

I admired
She knew
It was nothing new
Us two
In this game
The one that we played
Where the rules displayed
That the game
Was not spoken
Or displayed

A cat and mouse chase
Set at tortoise's pace
Torture gladly I take
While I patiently wait
Possibility's sake
Of a move I might make

Maybe tonight I'll go to sleep
And not wake from my rest
For here I lie in full defeat
My heart ripped from my chest
Within your hands it clearly beats
Although would not have guessed
You'd steal my love just like a cheat
A fool simply for jest

I'm tired
Of fake rainbows and fools gold
Of the best of intentions with little to no action
Of giant smiles through biting teeth

I'm tired
Of caring too much and not caring enough
Of either feeling helpless or hopeless
Of running myself in circles while not doing a thing

I'm tired
Of all the warning signs being there but no one seeing a need to warn
Of innocence lost and hope forgotten
Of lotteries with no winners, just losers

I'm tired
Of those with blame being held blameless
Of all the finger pointing but never introspective
Of an endless need to consider everyone's feelings while simultaneously no one cares

I'm tired
Of dishonesty from those in positions of power
Of distrustful actions from those we're expected to trust
Of money buying impunity

I'm tired
Of being too lazy to have patience
Of being part of the problem and not part of the solution
Of trying to deal with my paranoia when someone's clearly out to get me

I'm tired
Of endless waves of pity but never an open heart
Of technology connecting us yet making us less connected
Of the traditional definition of 'face-to-face time' replaced with things like Facebook or FaceTime

I'm tired
Of togetherness only after we've been divided
Of lives of youths spent by a misspent youth
Of tragedy happening without warning with clear warning signs

I'm tired

Of no one being able to agree and that's the only thing agreed upon

Where have I been?
Why have NOT I been here?

It's a reason,
an answer,
not simple or clear

Pause and stop for a moment
and try to explain
as I drift off into
the expanse of my brain

Sort of been in a lull
Kind of stuck in a rut
No ambition; desire
Don't want to do much
I’ve been lacking consistency;
without consensus
Once driven and disciplined
Vanished; off they went

Some time I’ve chased after
without much success
If by chance I recaptured;
escaped and they left
Once entrenched qualities;
have transformed into bubbles
Their memories -
a dream
As my life turns to rubble

A child I am
chasing frantically after
while further each drifts
out of reach
as they scatter

Ask,
"Where have I been?"
More like,
"Where am I now?"
‘Cause I live in a world
with a hovering shroud

No persistence of rain
More an absence of sun
There's no presence of pain
But is vacant of fun
Putting paper with pen
Situation is clear
Like a therapy session
Pull curtain;
I peer

Psychotherapy works
Hidden things can appear
Driven crazy;
berserk,
like a ship you can't steer

A continuous game,
one that can not be won
Somewhat hard to explain
Like a program that's run

Piece of clothing that's stained
Been there since time begun
And no way to contain
The past can't be undone
Pulling at it you tear
to remove all the faults
but you never get near;
locked away in the vault

Bang away at the door
Combination is lost
Feel despondent,
defeated,
and just at a loss
Where you give up all hope
There’s no way you can win
Sinking down to the bottom
It ends and begins…

-
-
-

Here alone in the darkness,
at first, you’re afraid
and wallow in pity
this “mess” you have made

While confined in a box
It’s a self-given coffin;
recluse who’s closed off
Made a space can’t get lost in

You wither and rot
in this counterfeit grave
Also, time to reflect
on the choices you’ve made

Loneliness not a friend;
Solitude can be one
Introspective -
a teacher
A valuable one

Near impossible to
fix what can not be seen
Not the visible lines
but what’s hidden between
Archaeologist digging
deep down in the dirt
Resurrecting the fossils
of buried down hurt

Everyone has a closet
with skeletons in
They are not all the same
in their size or within
But ignoring and locking away never works
You must get your hands *****
and dig in the dirt

Facing demons or sitting in darkness for most
conjures feelings of horror
like seeing a ghost
Though denial feels warm
like it might be a friend
Just like 'Brute',
it stabs in the back in the end

So, if life’s got you down
then it’s time to get up
I’m not saying it’s easy
Dig down and get tough
It is known that the night’s
darkest right before dawn
In the moment you’re weakest
you’ll soon become strong

Like a pendulum swing
or the changing of seasons
When pushed to extreme
then it just goes to reason
A rebounding force
very soon will attack
And all battle ground lost;
rightfully taken back

When you’ve given up hope;
just about to give in
At the end of your rope
Feel it’s time to say “when”
Meditate into silence;
cut everything out
Hear that voice from inside
with a WARRIOR shout!

If you listen
the universe will direct you
It has knowledge
and one
most important of clues
Like the phase of the moon
or the flow of the tides
there’s a cyclical pattern
all things must abide

When the mountain top’s reached,
one can only go down
You can swim at the beach
or give up
and then drown

Everything ebbs and flows
It’s the nature of all
So remember this lesson
when you’re feeling small

When that final point’s reached,
only one way to go
Now get back on your feet!
With this knowledge
you know
You will be hurt no more
‘cause that time’s "come and gone"
In the darkness no more

Now it’s time for the dawn!

My appetite's insatiable
I never seem to get my fill
Each time we're done, can't wait until
The next time I'll be tasting you

Don't know if this talk makes you ill
My heart I share; my guts I spill
One thing's for sure, these words are real
I speak the truth; my lips aren't sealed

The animal can strike at will
He's restless; hungry; won't sit still
When urges rise and overfill
Alarm is sounding; not a drill

Not looking for some base cheap thrill
Connection that will give me chills
Struck through my heart: nothing but quills
Drown in your love; mutating gills

Accept the cost; please send the bill
Without you, lost; you are my pill
Like coming frost; destroy and ****
All reason tossed; both ways have nil

As summer fades
Fall has begun
Our once bright days
Now setting Sun
Uncertain what the future holds
Just know that I am getting old
For youth one does not get to keep
Through window blinds of life I peek
A path that's been filled with mistakes
I've walked alone but chose to take
My baggage with me where I went
Much money earned; much money spent
An epic track that seemed to reach
Earth's corners as I search and seek
For happiness with love and joy
These things I lost when just a boy
Were taken; someone stole from me
No safe to crack; there was no key
Defenses were not set in place
A child who had yet to face
Like Adam when bereft of sin
Attack that had struck from within
Where body fully left in tact
A shattered mind you won't get back
And over shoulders look for pieces
Equaled grains of sand on beaches
Traveled much, went far and wide
Blind to the circles spun inside
If challenges aren't met and faced
One can't expect to win a race
In life, with loss comes also gain
For cost brings lessons for our brain
All adding up to wisdom learned
So as time goes we can discern
This is the trade for youth with age
In our "life book" we write a page
Our bodies start becoming meek
Does not mean outlook that is bleak
As faculties get old and fail
Some ways our vessel is a jail
The footsteps made are less and less
But minds expand an endless breadth
A question though of great concern
is, What if someone never learns?
They pay the price; accept the cost
But in return there's only loss
There's no trade off or benefit
An idiot who is a twit
You'd almost feel some sympathy
For one pathetic and who's weak
Unless of course you realize
The suit he wears; tried on for size
No twisted arms; he was not fooled
All info given; went to school
Just sat and stared off into space
So much potential he would waste
Break-even point, where are you at?
Is it still forward or way back
There comes a point, true with all things
Sometimes it hurts the heart and stings
We realize the end has come
There's nothing more that can be done
All effort from here on, a waste
The money spent is better saved
Don't think of it as giving up
More simply that one's time is up
Life is a journey that's for sure
But may be one that is endured
Instead of riding off in glory
Constantly are saying "sorry"
Trying to right each mistake
There is no life; an endless chase
A dog who tries to catch his tail
A nonstop game of "try-and-fail"
You ask "Why should I even try?"
Pathetic tears to say 'goodbye'
I have one choice that I can make
That will erase all my mistakes
If I'm not here I can't ***** up
Forget "half-empty", there's no cup
The disappointment and the shame
No longer need to play that game
Sure people might feel bad at first
But don't forget; somehow subvert
In closing I can finally be
What all expected me to be
A hero or a champ who "wins"
Not loser who just fails and sins
So tears don't cry (and you may not)
I'd say that I had fought the fought
But you know that is one more lie
Don't need to add; just say 'goodbye'

In this game we call life
All the actions we take
Doesn't matter compared to
Impressions we make
Siloutte, the reflection
Lasts after the date
Like a scent in the air
That is ever so faint

Water marks on the floor
Finger tips with spray paint
Or a warm summer breeze
In that moment feel great
A mark left on a cushion
Or lively debate
Color outside the lines
In good fashion, be late

With a frown upside down
Bring a smile to their face
And when life's full of pain
Reaching out to erase
Needing only an ear
To support and embrace
A foundation together
Creating a base

Don't look back; time is now
Not a second to waste
There's no need to ask how
Take a step; set the pace
Form an infinite "Wow!"
Life before is replaced
Through adversity plow
The God's nectar you'll taste

You say that you hate it
No longer be playing
All those misbehaving
Watch out
'cause you're slaying

Relationships fraying
Lose more every day and
No train at the station
Don't matter
Not waiting

Full force
Instigating
No more being patient
Before, vanished; They went
Without dedication

It's not a vacation
Sent to the space station
Left out in creation
Just imagination

A mere calculation
One thing
I'm just saying
Been set back and waiting
But now time to weigh in

This angst
On displaying
While you out here hating
Think those you erasing
You're simply replacing

Your demons need facing
Not running and chasing
A loop
You've been placed in
Self-made your own prison

But not by decision
Somewhere lost your vision
Sent back to beginning
So stop and just listen

Remove hesitation
There will be frustration
No capitulation
And not giving in

Beyond preservation
Give birth to a nation
A 'star'
Who is facing
Each day with a 'win'

My eyes I wish I could remove
And change them with another
Yes, it's true
That they are blue
Just like those of my mother
Not how they look
The reason why
I wish they would unscrew
If I did wear
A different pair
Perhaps a different view

Oh, please dear friend
Just briefly lend
If not two then just one
It's all I need
To plant a seed
"Before" can be undone
The way you see
How you view me
Wish for me same was true
But my eyes frown
As they look down
Don't see things like you do

Pathetically
I try to flee
But can't outrun myself
My destiny
Forever weak
Success put on a shelf
If just a peak
A passing streak
Please give me something new
Ask for one scene
Where I could gleen
An image that is true

A sparkling sheen
But in between
The lines I start to skew
Awake or dream
Not what they seem
Instead a nightmare drew
Why can't I find
Place in my mind
A honed in frequency
To feel sublime
Like all is fine
Replace my cup of tea

If for one day
Saw things your way
Beliefs maybe could change
Instead I lay
In bed I've made
Forget eyes, need new brain

I'm ready for war
I'm ready for war
Let's start the campaign
Send me out on my tour

A challenge to those
up ahead and before
Struck me hard in the face
Knocked me down on the floor
A pathetic disgrace
Left me ****** and sore
Want so bad: I can taste
Change what happened before

I'm not knocking this time
Gonna kick down that door
You'll get yours; I'll get mine
Trust me, this much is sure
Can't explain or define
A disease without cure
Sweet revenge comes to mind
Want to open that door

But inside I will find
Same mistakes as before
Time to leave that behind
I can be so much more
Won't succumb; Not this time
Like a lion I roar
Life has costs; Paid the fine
I've been given the tour

One directive - 'be kind'
Having this, never poor
'Cause my pockets are lined
Can not buy at the store
Pierces through window blinds
Bubbles up from the floor
Search not needed to find
Fills me up in my core

All the planets aligned
A lost ship finding shore
Couldn't see 'cause it's blind
Spent my life looking for
Granted gift when it's time
A full rainbow is poured
Open heart; Open mind
To the heavens I soar

It's been twenty long years
Puppet to entertain
Stepping back from it now
I'm in awe; Can't explain
Like that saying is said
Definition: insane
To repeat the same actions
Expect not the same
Final outcome, results
Thinking somehow they'll change
Foolishly I'd go back
And would replay our game
Said each time it's the last
I'm done feeling this pain
Once the moment has passed
My conviction will fade

I am stuck in the past
History here to stay
If unknown will relapse
Help me tie off a vein
It all happens so fast
Find myself in a grave
As I'm dying, you laugh
Your messed up and depraved
But the buck I can't pass
I'm the one who's to blame
'Cause the actions I act
Full control I contain
Simply get what is asked
Have no right to complain
Can no longer react
Must take hold of the reigns

If I can't make a path
Set the forest ablaze
Leaving nothing but ash
Flatten over and pave
Stop this ride or I'll crash
Can no longer sustain
My permission not asked
But that all ends today
A court jester for laughs
No more; I will not play
Jump to first; Had been last
Discontinued the race
Hoisted sail on the mast
Moving forward with faith
Don't let door hit your ***
Time you be on your way

Like a mighty oak tree
you were an awe inspiring sight
Respect commanded from your presence
Crooked men were filled with fright
And while I grew, your hand was stern
Your leadership steered our small tribe
Fed discipline and regiment
Came from a past you could not hide
Kept calm and steady under pressure
Always ready and alert
The one who people would look up to
when in fear or if they’re hurt
A true natural born leader;
A sapient and astute mind
While viewed as witty and gregarious,
approachable and kind
These qualities and human traits
were visible so all could see
You were a brave and valiant man
yet, even still much more to me

They sent you off to war when you
weren’t much more than a boy
Permission was not something asked
when foreign country were deployed
And even though you weren’t commissioned,
rank gave you command of men
So every day tried to ensure
that they would make it home again
You did the best you could, I’m sure;
Was rarely ever talked about
You may have left, but had it with you
And a part did not get out

“Protector” who is watching over
Principle ingrained in you
When duty calls, the first to answer
Shared the ‘code of honor’ too
Just like that hero in the pages
of those comics that you read
So,“Truth” & “Justice” and “The American Way”
were not just slogans to be said
A perfect fit was your career
to those of us who knew you
Always said fell into it
Was something took “for now” to do
While trying to decide a path
Direction in life that you’d take
It’s funny, often life will choose;
Decision not for us to make

And every time you went to work;
That uniform you would put on
Not knowing what you’d have to face
Potential risks and unknown harm
Like ‘suiting up’ to go to battle
Might not leave it with your life
But did not hesitate or waiver
Was your job; Did not think twice
The risks were something you accepted
but in-no-way they defined
The thirty-four years giving service;
Same town lived in and spent time
Relations built; working together
Being there if ever needed
First one responding when alerted;
Helping those who begged and pleaded
Also, if they simply asked
No matter whether big or small
‘Protect and Serve’ - a lifelong duty;
Run to aid those if they called
But this was much more than an oath
Embedded in your moral fiber
Like a coded prime directive,
was not something you could fight or
try denying if you wanted
I don’t think you ever did
Reminder from those comic books
you fell in love with as a kid

You had a ‘Superman’ t-shirt
The one emblazoned with an ‘S’
Would wear beneath your button up
Discretely so no one would guess
You laughed it off as just a game
A type of joke or of the like
While growing up you were a fan
Since you were just a little tyke
I knew for you that there was more
The message you respected too
Face bad guys while maintaining morals and character
A narrative describing you

By definition human beings
Species flawed that make mistakes
A perfect man, not what you were
A task no one can undertake
I know you cared for each of us
You did the very best you could
but discipline, the critics draw
These actions are not understood
Until much later on in life
The child has become adult
Time granting wisdom, with this gift
Deciphering and figure out
Perspective is a funny thing
Eyes opened after having it
With all you dealt with in you life
Amazed you did not lose your ****
A stunning feat that is for sure
What you endured and undertook
Career added and family too
Not one page could write in your book

I only wish, I could have told you
Finally these things I know
Appreciate in ways could not
How passing time has made it so
But that same time took you from us
No longer are you with us here
At least not in a mortal form
My heart though I still hold you dear
Now added to that shirt you wore
You don a brilliant scarlet cape
While flying high up in the sky
And from you bad guys can’t escape
You kept us safe; You taught us well
Each day your wisdom’s guiding me
Impossible to fill your shoes
It's not something I try to be
Instead I strive to be the best
rendition of me possibly
and hope that it will be enough
when looking down, you’re proud of me

So many thought that they knew you
but deep down never did they know
From all of them a secret kept
There was something you did not show
They foolishly ate up your act
To them you weren’t more than a man
Don’t worry dad, I will not tell
but I know that you’re Superman.

Never whole
since in this hole
I fell
A bottomless well
and since time started here
(when all of time stopped)
this spell
I’m under
makes me not well

The company
I’m in
a grin
One who spins
A tale to weave
of make believe
These items to sell
Story he tells

My brain
set on fire
from his grinning
Cheshire
The maniacal laughter
and madness
inspired
I’m tired
I’m mired
Situation is dire

Without choice
he is hired
All thoughts are rewired
Has risen to “Sire”
This liar and thief
Plays *****
and cheats
I’m beat
can not win
Left to stare at that grin

I am lost in the world
And I can not be found
I see nothing but darkness
As I look around
Just a vast empty space
That forever I'm bound
I will scream my lungs raw
But I don't make a sound

Then my head starts to spin
And I fall to the ground
Angrily my fists clench
With a fury they pound
I'm defeated again
Turned back into the clown
Not the type who is happy
No, I wear a frown

Always in my own way
Feels like life's upside down
Forget linear path
This full circle is round
Try to rise up for air
Lake of shame I will drown
If to win you should fail
I'm anointed and crowned

Uh oh, I feel it
It's coming again
One more unwanted visit
From my longtime friend
There's no notice given
As he barges right in
And no length to his stay
Don't know when it will end

He takes over my space
As if it's always been
Just his place and not mine
Who's the one paying rent?
Feel my presence erased
Put on hold and suspend
Don't confront; Do not face
Feel I can not defend

Everyday forced to face
Sadly, what could have been
Feeling lost and disgraced
I'm imprisoned again
In this bottomless pit
Where reality bends
Won't give up; Will not quit
Digging out with a pen

Beg for mercy and pleas
In these notes that I send
Penned emotionally
On my life it depends
Don't just look; Need to see
The real trouble I'm in
My words quietly scream
Fight alone I can't win

Someone please just help me
A spare hand you can lend
Don't need much to be free
Very little you'll spend
But without it I'll bleed
Boxer who can't contend
I'm struck down in defeat
Ref has counted to ten

Not how it has to be
Room is starting to spin
Get me up on my feet
Reset this bowling pin
Knock me flat in the street  
Won't sit still like a hen
Punching bag that you beat
Think I'm yours; That is when

Rising up suddenly
Spirit back on the mend
You're the one looking weak
Everything is pretend
Cleaning house; Need to sweep
From this filth I've been cleansed
Helped in my time of need
Thankfully by my friends

Days ahead bright for me
My life here want to spend
But can't get too comfy
He will strike; Don't know when
Out my eye hole I peep
Could return once again
Promising not to leave
Me and my longtime friend

Am I intense?
Well, I guess that depends
If the message is sent
But to you we're just friends
Has the mood become tense
So that now it must end
In my plan, threw a wrench
All advances suspend

Should not need a defense
Or your feelings defend
Does not work if against
Can't distort, twist or bend
Don't want you on the fence
Later something to mend
Take me out; Ride the bench
Simply followed the trend

A pursuit would be dense
Broken message I'd send
How you felt came and went
Not returning again
Everything said I meant
But I will not pretend
'Cause my love's not for rent
And my heart I don't lend

Brain, brain go away
Don't want to listen one more day
Already lonely and afraid
Feel insecure and full of shame

Brain, brain don't act this way
You're always angry; Filled with hate
You know we're joined; Can't separate
Yourself your punching in the face

Brain, brain what can I say
To make it so you see things straight
Don't know how much more I can take
Of constant warring and debate

Brain, brain it's getting late
This journey's not some endless race
Life's flying by and at this pace
Forget a win; Not gonna place

Brain, brain let's medicate
I'll feed you drugs and we'll sedate
The only way to mitigate
Discrepancies we generate

Brain, brain we sadly waste
This outcome feels like it was fate
But never was there a sealed date
Fulfilling what we self-create

Brain, brain so much we faced
Success so close could almost taste
Instead our tail we always chased
We'll die alone sad and disgraced

If something dramatic should happen to me
And by ill chance my time is now through
How would anyone here at Hello Poetry
Be informed; They would not have a clue

No delusions of grandeur or somehow believe
It would matter to more than a few
But I know that for me there are many I read
And look forward to anything new

If I checked and I see nothing new on their feed
Would be curious what happened to
Know that they hopefully are okay; Possibly
Just got busy like most of us do

Understand, doesn't change in the slightest degree
Could not help in some way; I'm no fool
But don't like to be left in a dark mystery
Take a test but results kept from you

Throughout life there are things in and out we will weave
Separate paths, we walk in our own shoes
Some are mandated, others though we choose to seek
Course was set when the winds of change blew

So no judgments are passed if to write poetry
No more time or you feel you outgrew
Only ask if you could, a small note when you leave
People here maybe care about you

May seem weird in some way or just hard to believe
Someone you never met; Barely knew
You have touched them somehow deep emotionally
Planted seeds are developing roots

There are people who care because they're human beings
And love for each other just proves
They have souls full of goodness and deep empathy
Treat each other how we're supposed to

It together creates a strong society
That's a caring and closely knit group
In this place we express and are totally free
Without fear or the pained ridicule

So sincerest of 'thanks' I deliver to thee
Can't express my complete gratitude
Evey bit of your kindness and commentary
A bright light from your heart shining through

All of you are so special and fully unique
Every message is honest and true
Reaching into your souls; Tear it off as you speak
Is commendably full of virtue

Do not let your voice silence but if you do leave
And decide that you must say 'adieu'
I cherished our time; Whether was long or brief
It was special 'cause shared it with you

I'm a frightened little boy who's scared, lost, and confused
Wanting desperately to feel protected from
Nightmares haunting when awake; Unable to stop the abuse
Wish my savior would descend down from above

Mommy please why won't you save me; Anything you want I'll do
Fiercely needing, almost bleeding, to be loved
Didn't mean to misbehave and promise I'll be better too
Daddy please don't scream, get mad and start to shove

"Good times" merely cover up; Create a shadow for the truth
******* stories lull the mind, becoming numb
Ticking time bomb, no surprise when like a powder keg you blew
Striking blows just like a boxer with no gloves

Planted problems rising up are stemming from and grow into
Epic beanstalks much like Jack thought he wished of
Same result from fabled tale except there is no golden goose
Just the giant who refuses to give up

Trembling fear I have inside can't overcome; I lack the tools
Chains me down; These shackles I'm forever cuffed
In a war against myself where it is destined that I loose
Broke and battered, insides shattered into dust

Banished from the realm of life to Fortress of my Solitude
Daily robot the appearances keep up
A magician misdirecting and forever hide from you
All the pain and shame within me that I clutch

Needed partner, what I'm lacking; Information is not news
Someone that I could be close to is enough
Life is empty, without feeling; Like a poet with no muse
Left here rotting; Man of Steel has turned to rust

Perched before the mirror,
my eyes open to see
the greatest of loves there in front of me

With a smile, a chuckle,
a nod and a wink
I’m falling in love above my bathroom sink

My ocular captions
are fixed in a gaze
and neither denies
our lust-worthy ways
Never before
have I seen such a marvel
Brought almost to awe
yet I recant such sparkle

For my status is equal
or better than such
I say with full modesty
(as if I must)
The greatness exuded
Displayed on both sides
It is something that I
and the other can't hide

All of those who now know
and all those who shall see
will admire and greet us
down on bended knee
Consternation displayed
only to be outdone
by illustrious gestures
to this royal son

But enough of the rest,
there is just you and I
“All of those poor, poor people”,
we say with a sigh
They will truly not know
what it is to be us
When you don't have to worry
And don't have to fuss

This supremacy life
is a difficult one
My heart would feel pity,
(If I had one)
Instead it’s disgust,
disdain and the like
The fuel that's propelling me
forward with blithe

Still across from me now,
a reverent sight
Another near equal
and one who just might
be the only one worthy enough possibly
To stand here beside me for others to see

They think they all know
but know nothing they do
It's the jealousy had by them
for I and you
They’re like chlorophyllic plants
Dripping in so much envy
They try and they try;
They try to prevent me

From being the greatness
I know I can be
If just given a chance
Then perhaps they would see
But alas, in the end
it doesn't mean ****
What I care for is me
Only me
and that's it

Except my love for you
It's so deep can’t you see?
It is real
I can feel it
I truly believe
Only you I can trust
The one person who matters
The one I turn to
when life breaks and it shatters

All others are pawns
I can move on the board
Sacrificial pieces
for falling on swords
No dispute; I am king
Come stand here with me
It’s us versus them
And trust me they will see

It might not be today
It might not be tomorrow
But it will be soon
when they join me in sorrow
Make all of them pay
For what they’ve done to me
For the pain they’ve inflicted
Their fault, you will see

Anything that I do
Even though I will try
They keep holding me down
No idea; Don't know why
They are all out to get me
So plainly can see
But one thing you won't see
is not the last of me

Here, take my hand lover
and come with me now
We'll go out in the world
and together show how
Their pathetic existence
can benefit us
We may step on some ants
But there's no need to fuss

The hole that is empty
That is our damnation
Use things superficial
Instant gratification
It's a short-term "fix"
But will make-do for now
In our path, leave destruction
This much I will vow

Happiness, thoughtfulness
or concerned empathy
Some examples of words
unfamiliar to me
Therefore, no one can feel it
Must feel like I do
Only then I'm complete
Feeling I belong too

The zeros and ones, all the zeros and ones
It is time to dive in to some binary fun
Just the zeros and ones, all the zeros and ones
We're not ready for this
But too late
It's begun...

In this game that we play
There's no way can be won
And no doubt that someday
All mankind is outdone
But "no way" they will say
"Just relax and have fun"
'Cause there's always a way
Not the absolute 'none'

Good luck never can stay
Of the minimum one
An anomaly may
Find a way to outrun
All the safeguards in place
What you spin is now spun
This new enemy faced
Can't be beat with a gun

Giving birth to a race
Artificially one
That's not from outer space
People smart are now dumb
We can't keep up the pace
So we will be outrun
Relegated to slaves
Or perhaps we're just "done"

Nothing more than a waste
Have a purpose that's 'none'
Masses taking up space
Can not hide or outrun
Destined to be erased
Yet somehow we're still stunned
Ending the human race
For A.I. has now won

Let’s talk about my intuition
Talk about a brain that swells
I saw it coming to fruition
Easily for you I fell

Suspicions were a friend to you
Made me your toy; I would not tell
My nightmares and my dreams came true
Sequestered in your prison cell

Do all the ***** things you do
You’re Heaven and my private Hell
Just say one thing when I come to
And no more hear the ringing bells

Those words, please tell me, “I love you”
With earnestness, to me you sell
I don’t care if it isn’t true
You are my fix and I’m not well

So “dose” me up; I need to sooth
And fill this lost and empty shell
Drunk on your love; You are my *****
The cost of this I do not dwell

A choice I made yet did not choose
You instantly had cast your spell
Too blind; I did not see the ruse
An easy ‘mark’, no need to sell

Tried for a stew but made a soup
The drifted parts will never gel
No question, for sure I’ve been duped
I clearly hear the banging knell

Forever stuck within this loop
A never-ending carousel
You took my soul with one fell swoop
I said ‘hello’, you said ‘farewell’

You will give it to me
Then you'll take it away
Because somehow for you
Love's a game with to play
My intensity doesn't
Revolve with the days
Or a carousel ride
Love does not work this way

Love can always be broken
And rebuilt like clay
It's not just black and white
In fact often it's gray
But it does not run off
Once it's here it should stay
Not a pendulum swing
Should not back and forth sway

You will love me tomorrow
Could care less today
It is something I did
Or perhaps did not say
A small piece of me dies
Each time you pull away
I'm left here asking 'why?'
On my knees I will pray

The light dying inside
Now a barely lit flame
Have my eyes opened wide
Before I was insane
I try taking the blame
You're the one who will stray
On this coaster we ride
Love's a game not to play

I won't breakdown and cry
Get unstable today
All my feelings have died
In your game I won't play
So I must waive goodbye
'Cause no longer I'll pay
I must do to survive
Love does not work this way

An attempt to tempt temptation we're facing
The entire nation is wasting
While the time clock is racing
Sitting idle I dwell
Don't know what to do
A bottomless well
filled with good intentions
That I forgot to mention
while men's sons
climb the walls
Fingers bleed
so I choose to run
Pain outweighed only by guilt
An attempt to hide so no one would see
Added my hand by not lending a hand
The inevitable entropy

Criticize the critter's size
This infiltration among us
A monstrous demon
indeed in need of expatriation
The daily battle uphill
An upheaval, this weasel
An endless war of soldiers who sold their souls
Signed their mark on the dotted line
Became a mere dot left in time
Sand in the glass we know will not last
Last train leaves the station
Can not stay
Have been shunned

Should have listened when told
On an endless list now too old
The souls that time has forgotten
A swirl in the whirlpool for getting into this mess
A choice we did not choose
Being lost made us lose
A loser with nothing to lose
Loose with our lips
Quick with the fists
A tunnel with no light
The endless darkness in sight
Filled with fear, we do not fright
For what is wrong feels so right
Take the plunge
I just might
Endlessly spinning in time
while getting so high
Spinning out of control
This way I live, this way I die

With no argument I think most people agree
With the adage stating that, "you are what you eat"
But it's possible there's information not known
Having equal importance or maybe more so

All the nutrients eaten; We intake our food
It will travel through digestive tract once consumed
Same can also be said of our actions and thoughts
They're the building blocks making up all that we are

Brains are not like a rigid or fixed type machine
An old dog and new tricks go together it seems
Our plasticity will let us both change and shift
It makes pathways; New neural links over the rifts

These connections might possibly benefit us
But this same mechanism can also do stuff
With a negative scope, the outlook and belief
We might think we're no good; Our lives filled with much grief

If we're constantly saying things inside our heads
Like self-doubting, self-loathing and feelings of dread
Then our brain will re-wire to fit this outlook
Once ensconced in this spectrum; Not easily shook

The same way that a person engages with time
Like activity, also is true with the mind
A small change in the way that we look at ourselves
The new thoughts and beliefs in our mind start to meld

With the make-up within that each one of us holds
Self-beliefs and self-doubts from our birth till we're old
Like a painter with ink; Our brush never is dry
We are always creating what's in our mind's eye

So don't hinder yourself with a picture that's bleak
Just believe in yourself and go get what you seek
You are capable of so much more than you know
All it takes is belief and in time it will show

As a dear friend you care for me
Sure as the air I breathe
To love me anymore than this
Not sure if I believe
Each day anew the Sun will rise
But nighttime hides away
Thus, your love and affection
If here, will never stay

Was given Cinderella's ball
Before midnight's last strike
Must scurry from the pageantry
Else, face a certain fright
Extravagance would disappear
Revealing to the Prince
Her true self in the deepest way
The pains that made her wince

Afraid once she was vulnerable
Find out was all a lie
A ****** that would pierce through her heart
With certainty she'd die
Truth though, if given that moment
Each flaw the Prince could see
Each one a part of Cinderella;
Part of her beauty

Suddenly, she understood
She did not have to hide
What was closed off long time ago
And buried deep inside
Still with some fear, her heart she gave
And with a lightning strike
Fulfilled with happiness and love
And stepped into the light

You can trip and take me down
You may hurt and make me cry
Even back me in a corner
Take it all from me, you’ll try

Make this pain inside my brain
Till the water works run dry
I’m confused or now insane
How I was when I was high

Spit at me and give me shame
Say that all my words are lies
Just a pawn inside your game
Hell is where I’ll burn and fry

Strip me till I have no name
In this shell to rot and die
Try to make me something plain
But will never say ‘goodbye’

Acting weak is how I feign
Have for you a big surprise
Nothing for you but disdain
Keep me down or so you tried

Not pathetic or so tame
Life I’m taking back is mine
Thunder roaring is the train
You’re a joke and one that's wry

No more constantly a strain
As I look out at the sky
Cork that’s popped from crisp champagne
Rising up and now I fly

A lively debate
that inside I create
A seemingly
simple state
But this state
of affairs
Is like a ****** affair
The details
I wish not to share
Please,
don’t stare
For inside
I’m scared
Am I prepared?
Do I have
the ***** to do
what I really care?
Or am I going
to stay on this ship
of self-despair
Where
I can scream
my lungs ******
into the air
But does anyone care?
Do I even f@cking care??

Maybe a life spared
but spare me the
retched bullsh@t
of self-pity
I’m self-giving
It wreaks up the air
It’s noxious scent
is not one I care
to ever encounter
or fair

Let’s “clear the air”
and take on
what I want
from now on
No longer a pawn
who is living the tired
joke
of some pathetic
love song

No, THIS
is my “Swan Song”
Where I belong
This sh@t is ON!

Climbing the mountain strong
Bellowing a chant
a song
That’s been so deep within
for so long
It can only come out
Right
Because “wrong”
does not belong
This virus
is airborne

No longer forlorn
All the darkness
is gone
You have been
forewarned
Are you ready?
Because it’s coming
Sounding the horn
Sacrificed
the firstborn
The “storm”
Once icy and cold
Now simmering warm
Going to bubble into
volcanic ash scorned
This Oath
hath been sworn
Tattered and torn
**** cloth
all that is worn

But forward my path
What’s behind me
My ***
The past
Worn out,
decayed,
and shriveling trash
All that
is gone
as I head
towards the dawn
Through the darkness
I’ve trekked
The Sun rises ahead
And with it
My song

My Swan Song
I am reborn
withered and worn
But still strong
I belong
I am one
with the Universe
The path before me
is brightly lit
with happiness and joy
No more patheticness
All the grit
and the spit
Broken teeth
All that sh@t
It all meant something
It was THIS

Every bruise
Every break
All the “wrongs”
and “mistakes”
Are what it takes
You can call it fate
or simply short of fatal
but since
neonatal
through this day till
Every day
I thankfully say
“Thank you”
for showing me the way
Because now I have
A love that stays
A true love
One that can’t
get away
Because I value Me
One ‘hopes’ or ‘prays’
But like a house
Each brick is laid
Onto the next
Foundation made
A sturdy house
Can’t blow away
Hard work put in
Made it this way
The same for me
The price I paid
But end result
A saving grace

You have brought back these feelings
Resurfaced those fears
Of the fire inside
that had so many tears
A weak flame that was dying
Alive once again
Has now muddied the line
between lover and friend

That's how it goes for me
I don't know about you
The words passing might be
in that moment were true
They kept traveling on
Possibly a comet
As my feelings grow strong
Expectations not met

Once again feel a fool
Even though it's not true
And my heart gave to you
Time again I will do
But this time not the same
It's because you weren't here
Could not reach out and touch
So our bodies weren't shared

Just the words that were said
And the sound of your voice
Resurrect from the dead
Could not stop; Had no choice
Seems like that's how it is
In your lasso I'm snared
All it takes is one tug
And again I will care

Pilot light to a stove
A slight twist and it strikes
You've invaded my heart
Bursting flame will ignite
But if carelessly handled
It's me who gets burned
Walked all over and trampled
Same dolt who won't learn

I have built up the walls
But we're both trapped inside
The tight space is so small
There's nowhere I can hide

Face-to-face with you now
It begins and it ends
I'll get through it somehow
Are we lovers or friends?

For so long I have loved you and
This much I know is true
But now I find
For the first time
I fell IN-love with you

I'd say I 'miss you'
But can that possibly
convey the true
sentiment
of how I feel
each day?

I say 'no way'
A torment
is laid
A sacrifice
that must be made
This road before
I've paved
but this time
with new waves

No longer the waves
of goodbye
Yes, it's true
before we tried
Tears were cried
A mountain climbed
But alas,
it was not time
The bells hath not chimed

What is due
is due in due time
And good times
are what await
While I sit here and wait
Though my wait is over
For no more
will I second guess
I know who's best
Forget the rest
It is you I will hold
against my chest

A treasure chest
but not filled
with cliche jewels
and like items
No, instead
filled with what is
truly priceless
What money can't buy us
What each of us
is searching for
Longing for
Like a knock upon the door
or a child wanting more
Not prepared
for what's in store
Like one who's out
begging and poor

For so long
on the 'other' side
But not this time
for that time
has ended
and in the end
all wrong is now right
because I have you
right by my side

No longer that fear
that I kept inside
Wanting to run
Go away and just hide
But no matter
how much I try
(which I admit isn't much)
I can not hide
what I have inside
for you
Yes, it's true
A love that is true
Complete in its virtue
An everlasting truth
So cozy and cute
Like an old couple
smushed together
in our favorite coffee booth

But no toll
at this booth
More like
a 'kissing' booth
A carnival fair
Cotton candy
in the air
Along with the
ever-present
and ever-lasting aroma
of love
that together
we share
Hand-in-hand
Sit or stand
and into each other's
eyes we stare

To others
may not seem fair
But we're too love struck
to care
Our hearts
with each other share
A caring so deep
That a trench
in the sea
still couldn't possibly
in any way effectively
convey what we see
What we feel
What's inside you
and inside me
How we
just 'BELIEVE'
I feel it
Don't you?
I know you do
You feel it too
We've known for so long
What we now know is true

So, here at the end
our story begins
An epic journey
of sadness, heartache and loss
But the price must be paid
And in full payment we made
Day after day
But the cycle we break
Having cost us the cost

All that sh*t we just tossed
No more carrying of weight
Mark your calendars
This date
Because the waiting
is gone
I can finally see straight
Warm inside
Feeling great
And with one foot
First step I take
As we take the plunge
I would dive off of the Sun
or forever I'd run
Do all that must be done
You are now
and always have been
my number one
Never a contest
to be won
It was yours from day one
And will be forever
till time is done

I love you.

You'll always be at rainbow's end
Eternal *** of gold
A fairy tale told long ago
Forever I've been sold

I try so hard but out of reach
With each hand would grab hold
No need for words so please don't speak
Would never let you go

But when I give up in defeat
The cycle getting old
The hill to climb becomes too steep
Turn down 'Yellow Brick Road'

The Wizard who I wish to meet
Told he can take me home
I hear the scurrying of feet
New shadow is well known

But like they say it's "Trick-or-treat"
And both will I be shown
With me you stand here in the street
No longer I'm alone

Now found; forever I had seeked
But actions had been cloned
Reached out but this dream could not keep
Like that; I'm turned to stone

You laugh and turn off in retreat
A call without a phone
A diet forced myself to eat
These actions had been sewn

This game of love again I'm beat
And tossed like trash I'm thrown
You stole from me just like a cheat
This life I live alone

No tears to cry but inside weep
My head, the space I roam
No need to hide; Escape don't seek
From now on is my home

Each day is a day like day had before
I don't know if I can take anymore
There's pain in my bones; Weak feeling and sore
I question myself what this life is for

Don't know what's ahead; Don't know what's in store
As happiness hides behind a locked door
The pressure, it builds to find it before
The hourglass now has emptied what's stored

The light from me left; Although I'm not sure
If ever I had a light that was pure
My soul's on death's bed; No hope of a cure
The word's left unsaid; I'll always want more

Waves lapping against the rocky beach shore
Each time takes away; A heavenly chore
Was true of my joy; A tunnel was bored
Inside from my soul true self of me poured

I ******* out myself like a *****
Each day is a lie that I can't afford
I wish I was maimed; Insides had been gored
I can not explain; Knight falls on his sword

But I am no knight; More like one who's poor
Been chewed up, discarded; Fruit with no core
Tried sharing with you; A piece of me tore
But know you disliked; Did nothing but bore

This poem is not new; These words said before
I've whined and cried too like those I deplore
A task left to do; Must settle the score
Each day starts anew; Be happy once more