Every time I look at you
I can feel my whole world crumble.
The ground beneath my feet shaking
trees rustling, concrete cracking.
Buildings collapsing.

Every time I look at you
chaos,
devastation,
they always seem to follow.

Every time I look at you
I can feel an earthquake
erupting within my heart.
Shaking the ground beneath my feet
my walls crumbling
my senses dulling
my mind wandering
to a fantasy of you and me

Every time I look at you
the ground collapses
and I fall
and keep falling.
Because I know
that you won't be there
to catch me.

Her.
She is sitting by the table...eating...laughing.
Well I don't care what she's doing,
except her reaction when I ask her my question.

I approach.
But I feel like a blindfolded pilot,
on his way to land his airplane.
Unable to discern right from left.

I freeze.
Feet from my destination,
all my muscles stop moving.
I stand there like a statue,
thinking if I should really ask.

I turn around.
Throats already dry...
My head turns the other way,
and so does the rest of my body.
I couldn't help it. I can't.
Even if I had enough guts to say anything to her.

Another day goes by,
without saying a word.
Its not that easy you know,
because I'm just too

shy.

I once found a field,
A beautiful field.
A field that humans have not disturbed.

I lived by the trees near this beautiful field.
But I lived in complete ignorance,
as two men, each with a *****,
came to the middle of the grass,
and struck down a wooden plank.

Before long, my forest disappeared.
Instead of grass growing,
The only thing that surfaced,
was the pale gray stone that was laid there.

I watched as they dug deep into the ground,
where tall boxes of stone and glass rose.
They stood proud against one another,
one building higher than the last.
But they blocked my view,
of a once beautiful sky.

Before long, the field turned into a city,
Cars and buses drove though the winding streets.
People soon started to appear,
and the field I once knew was long forgotten.

A fountain has now been placed,
where the pioneers have struck their plank,
With no tree in sight,
I throw the last seed into the water.
Where it settles to the bottom with coins and marbles,
never to sprout.

I have met a girl,
much more different than,
the girls I have come to know.

Right next door she lives.
I catch glimpses of her sometimes,
taking her dog out for a walk.
And I catch glimpses of her,
waving back at me.

Yes, I have talked to her.
She has the most amazing voice,
the most beautiful eyes,
and the most quirky of personalities.

I feel that I am meant for her,
and she is meant for me.
It is a dream come true.
But the only problem though,
is that she only exists,

**inside the pages of a book.

Please don't leave me.

All I want is to talk to you once more

All I want is to have one more day

With you

Excuses are all I can make to persuade you

To make you think otherwise

Because

All I want is to have one more hour

With you

I will do anything to stop you from leaving

Anything

Everything

Because

All I want is to have one more minute

With you

I will remind you of the good times we had

As well as the bad.

But who wants to dwell on the past

When you have

The future.



Do you see it now?

Do you see us?

The ones holding hands by the bay

The ones watching the movie together

The ones with their heads leaning against each other

And their hands in each others

Hearts

They look inseparable

Inseparable

I thought we were inseparable

Inseparable



I thought we had forever

But forever is about to leave


So

Please

Don't leave me

Because

All I want

Is to have

One

More

Chance


With you.

Back then,
in the years of young,
she was my everything.

Though the day was tiresome,
one glance at her,
would make me last the day.

If I was in need,
her company,
erased all my worried doubts.

Even an eternity,
wouldn't make up for one second
with her beside me.

When I was around her,
I felt complete.
She was the missing puzzle piece.
She was the Juliet to my Romeo,
and I was happy.

Back then,
in the years of young,
she was my everything.

But now,
she isn't anymore.

You foolish men.
How could you operate in this manner,
In a greatly fallen world.

You foolish men.
How could you think,
you can control society?
But I think it is society
that controls you.

You foolish men.
How could you say something so imperative,
but when you turn back from the crowd,
do exactly the opposite.

There will never be a perfect man,
in this greatly fallen world.
Foolish men run rampant,
they could be anyone.
But what matters is what you do when those
foolish men arise.

On the top of a magnificent mountain,
where the air was cool,
I met a Mountain Lady, hiding,
behind one of the trees.

She seemed to have an aura around her,
a light emanating from deep within.
She was adorned in the finest of silk,
in a color, I've never seen.

The wind was as if,
obeying her every command
The trees as if,
greeting her in every footsteps.
Even they were so captivated by her.

As thirsty and hungry as I was,
she gave me things to eat.
It was the most delicious
food  I have ever tasted.
And it was the most
quenching liquid that I have ever drank.

When I was under her trust...her control,
the humble lady decided to act.
Emerged out of her fingers,
were sparks of lightning.
They hit my chest.
And I felt as if I was stabbed,
with a thousand of the sharpest of knives.

I lost my breath,
and fell to the ground.
Her silk dress ignited in flames,
the fire consuming her,
before she transformed into a hideous being.
She rose from the ground,
flying out of the mountaintop.

This is all I remember,
of how I met the captivating Mountain Lady.
For I never woke from her evil spell
*a g a i n

As a kid,
it hurted being
an island in the middle of the ocean

Seeing all your classmates,
bunch up together,
forming groups,
and just standing there
by the corner,
thinking why life left you out.

Groupworks were the toughest,
when friends were allowed to pick.
It hurted,
because I was always picked last.

That was so for three years,
until another island came over, and sat.
We said nothing.
But as the days turned to weeks,
and the weeks turned to months,
and as the months turned to years,
we became good friends.

The class soon bonded,
and I am happy to say,
that I bonded with them.

So, if you're an island like me,
don't be afraid to make friends.
Because they might just be,
the person that you've been always looking for.

Because after all,
all we really need,
*is a friend.

If we were given the choice,
a choice to spend forever
in a moment of past,
what would it be?

Would it be,
a vacation,
a sunset at the beach?

Would it be,
in a mall,
shopping with friends?

Would it be,
a house visit,
or something more?

For me, it would be,
that day after school,
standing in the court of hoops,

with you.

Every time I forget,
or, at least,
seemed to forget,
you'd come back and haunt me with your stares.

Every time I finally
wasn't thinking about you,
you'd be there
to fill up my thoughts once more.

I stepped into a room.
An empty room.
The seats were covered in white cloth,
The tiles were unusually clean.

I sat down on a chair,
shifted my place until
I felt comfortable.
The rips and cracks on the leather,
they didn't bother me.

The procedure begun.
Electric razors skimmed my hair,
severing connections months in the making,
and, in an instant,
they started falling
like snowflakes when it snowed.

But it is as if every strand of my hair
carried with it, a message.
A signal. A dream.
And as the metal blades closed in,
they fell to the floor, swept up, and thrown away.
And it was as if
it took my dreams with it.

Just as quickly it had begun,
the procedure was over.
And, I could already feel some part of me,
was gone.
They handed me a mirror,
and I saw myself in the reflection.
Nothing had happened.
Nothing had changed.
But deep inside, something did.

Because I had let it.

I stood up,
brushed the dust off,
and left the room.
Knowing that I'll be returning here again,
quite soon.

I came to an art show,
where a friend stood proudly beside his painting.
Many people liked it,
and it made him genuinely happy.
So I tried making a painting of my own,
and I hung it beside his.

Seeing all of the other artists’ paintings.
Beautiful palettes of color and hue.
I could see why flocks of people
were huddled up in front of it,
praising the artist for his tremendous work.

I made it my goal to improve my painting.
And so I did.
People liked it, huddled around it, praised it.
And I genuinely felt happy.

My other friends saw how lovely,
all the paintings were.
So they decided to make their own,
all of them, three.

I was astonished…proud…happy
to see people huddled around each of their paintings,
praising them for what they did.
And they felt genuinely happy.

All was good, until one day,
when one friend said,
“Hey, let’s make this fun and interesting, and play a game,
whoever gets the most praise at the end of the year,
wins.”

I didn’t want this to be…
I never wanted this to be just
another competition.
Just another stage,
to brag how great they are.

I hope,
that this will never come to that.
You are all artists in your own special way.
You don’t have to get all the praise,
to know you’re good.

Continue making those awesome paintings.
Never stop improving them.
Because one day, I know,
people will start huddling
around yours.

In that cold, moonless night
my feeble mind raced through
a thousand thoughts.
But those thoughts,
cannot describe what I was feeling
as I was giving my own life away.

As much as I wanted to start over,
I convinced myself that it was worthless.
I had already lost faith in the things around me,
I'd lost faith in the things I treasured most.
But most of all,
I had lost faith in myself.

I'd always left the door ajar,
hoping that my miseries would finally come to an end.
After all, I thought,
would the world be any less different
after I had passed away?

I waited,
and death came.
He had knocked on the door,
and said his warning.

Weak was I, not far from surrendering.
But at the last moment, I remembered.
The thousand thoughts, memories, feelings,
all coalesced into one faint memory I'd myself had forgotten.

One one overcast morning, the sun still rising,
a friend said,
"I believe everything turns out well in the end.
If your life is still sour, then it isn't the end."

Like a violent stampede hurdling down a hill,
or a tsunami reaching land,
every part of my faith was restored.
From the things I had once doubted,
reassurance came flooding back.

He gave another warning,
before kicking the door open.
I stood in front of him, and said:
You are going to leave this house now. There is no one here to take.
Yes, I gave up. And yes, I decided to take my life away.
But He changed that decision, and turned me around.
And guess what?
**Today, isn't my day.

My heart has been
Wandering
Searching
Finding
Yet I seem to be going in circles

I yearn for something
That I don't seem to understand.
This feeling inside
It is consuming me.

Should I let it continue?

should I surrender?

My heart has been
Wandering
Searching
Finding

Yet my heart always leads me back to you

Once in a blue moon,
fate causes us to cross paths.
Briefly brushing past each other,
before parting our separate ways.

I was standing at the middle of the road,
alone,
neglected,
unloved.
And there you were,
your smile reaching the corners of your mouth,
metal fences restraining your bright white teeth.
Every part of my being lit up like a christmas tree,
and I felt whole again.
Your eyes met mine,
and my eyes met yours,
and we both knew.

Today, as my eyes met yours,
I didn't feel whole.
I didn't feel happy,
nor felt any sense of cheer.
Your stare pierced through the shroud that covered me,
searching for the secrets that lie within.
But you already know what that secret was...
As my eyes met yours,
I knew,
and you knew...

Walking on opposite directions,
I saw you,
and you saw me.
I kept on walking,
and so did you.
I hope you'd have spoken your mind.
But nothing came out of your mouth,
and nothing came out of mine.
Briefly brushing past each other,
I stopped to look behind,
You continued walking,
until you disappeared.

Once in a blue moon,
fate causes us to cross paths,
briefly brushing past each other
before finally going our separate ways.

Thank you for the journey you gave me.
Now, its time for each of us to start a new one.

My mind flashes back,
to the deepest depths of my memories.
Back to the day when all went well.
Until I bumped into you.

Exhausted, I trudged through
the hot summer streets,
and found a quaint shop.

I sat.
I waited.
I looked around.
And saw what I really yearned to see.

In another island,
in another city,
in another town.
The chances would have been remote,
indeed they were,
but then,

*I still saw her,
and she still saw me.

It can't happen.
No, it just won't.
Will not, Should not.

This love will lead you nowhere,
Down dark alleyways and
Filthy backstreets.

The only solace you will find
Is by retracing your steps,
And walking back to where you started.

It can't happen.
Will not, Should not.
Because
I am already in love with

*someone else

The old me.
Used to walk in the other side of the road.
I woke up on the right side of the bed.
I was much different from the others,
and I didn't know
why.

The old me.
Wondered and pondered,
thought and thought over
and over
to why I was like this,
to why I was different from the others.

The old me.
Gave up so easily,
a battle that can be effortlessly won,
by just a simple
lift of a finger.

I fell, into the cold hard ground.
I was down, and I didn't want to stand up again.
But I realized,
that it was okay to be so unalike.

Now, whenever I'm feeling down,
I pat myself on the back,
breathe in and out,
and I finally
get up.

Because this is
*t h e   n e w   m e

Caged.
It is all I can describe it.
This, is what I carry on my back
everyday.
This, is what I feel,
deep down inside.

Confined
in a gray box, trying,
to one day get out.
To be free. To roam
the wilderness of this world.

And when I am free to do so,
I take this privilege for granted.
All I seem to do is mess up.
To bring disappointment.
To bring scorn.

When I do so.
This privilege slips away from
my fingertips
It is taken back, revoked.
And once more, I feel like
I am

*C a g e d.

It has been a long time
since our eyes have met once again.
Yet, I have gotten stronger
I have gotten wiser
from the being I once was.

From the being that fell in love with you.

I know that now.
And I won't let it happen again.
Never.
Ever.
But I find my efforts at self control futile
as every morning I still search
for you.
I stop and think:
"No. It's over. I'm done."
And I carry on with life

Like nothing ever happened.

But now so suddenly
you, who didn't care about me,
you, who didn't even turn to look my way
you, suddenly did.
And I don't know what to feel inside.
Happiness, joy, excitement, hope
anger.

But know this.
If you're looking for another shot.
You've got it all wrong.
You're already too late.

She is the center of my life.
I, merely a planet revolving around her, a magnificent star.
She simply is...
The foundation in which I lean on.
The warm sun to end the sinister night.
The lush spring after the harsh winter.
The red rose standing tall among the withered grass.
And above all,
*my friend, and my one true love.

Back then...

When I would walk past you,
And when you would walk past me,
We would greet each other,
Good morning,
Good afternoon,
Good night.
And be happy.

But behind the scenes,
You weren't happy.
You weren't having a
Good morning,
Or a
Good afternoon,
Or a
Good night.

Instead, you were dealing with so much sorrow and pain.

Now,
When I would walk past you,
And when you would walk past me,
We wouldn't greet each other,
Good morning,
Good afternoon,
Good night.
And be happy.
Instead,
You would just pass by me,
Like I never even existed.

I look into your eyes
And see the whole world spinning.
Flashing lights, bright skies.
You'd be there to brighten up my world.

But now, the world has gotten a bit darker
As you lay in your box of wood,
Since you're no longer around
To light it up.

What has happened to this place?
It screams of pain,
ignorance,
death.
But above all,
it screams one question,
"Who am I?"

I know of a woman,
of endless beauty.
People call her by many different names,
But I call her Perlas.

On the outside, she looks fine,
as happy as she can be.
But the inside is a totally different story.
A war has raged upon her mind,
like two fierce lions,
battling for supremacy...
...for victory.

She does not know,
that she is slowly killing herself.
Already inches off of falling down a rocky cliff.
I watch the events unfold.
Page by page,
her thoughts,
her actions,
grow worse
and worse.

She hates herself for it.
But she does not change,
but only chooses to stab herself even more.
How could someone so beautiful,
curse herself over and over again?

The final blow, comes hard.
It knocks herself off her feet,
and sends her flying off the mighty cliff.
Down to the jagged rocks below,
She has sent herself to her own horrible death.

Quick! The seasons are changing.
Grab your belongings, and put them
all behind your back.

Quick! The sky is waking up.
You must hurry, my darling,
for it will catch you before you even set foot,
on the freshly fallen dew.

Quick! The flowers are blooming.
Here is a rose, to remind you of me,
when you are melancholy.

Quick! The sun has risen.
Go now, my darling,
and never look back.

Way back when
Somebody loved me,
It was all fine and dandy.
All the time we had together
I cherished them.
The memories still play in my head.

Way back when
Somebody loved me,
She was there to guide me.
Even the darkest of times
Would turn to the brightest of days
Because of
Her.

Way back when
Somebody loved me,
Everything seemed beautiful.
It was all fine and dandy.
And I was at last,
Happy.
But that was
Way back when
She loved me.

Wait for me,
by the corner on an empty street,
an umbrella in your hands,
and a suitcase in the other.

Wait for me,
when the skies turn tangerine,
when the clouds become colored with pink.

Wait for me,
even as the raindrops start to pour,
when streaks of light rip the air.
Hold on,
even as the clouds start to roll in.

Wait for me,
when the skies turn jet black,
when the clouds become colored in gray.

Wait for me,
by the corner of an empty street,
an umbrella in your hands,
and a suitcase in the other.

Please, wait for me,
and I'd do the same
for you.

Three years is a long while.
A long while indeed.
Three years is enough
To forget
The memories of you and me.
Three years is enough
But still, I haven't forgotten.
I haven't let go.

Three years is a long while
For me to forget.
But my heart still skips a beat
Whenever you lay your eyes on me.