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E Sep 2022
i've never felt
so alive
experiencing the full range of human emotion

this is what it means to be human
what it feels to breathe without condition
and shackles to their needs
conservation of energy
preservation of self
outcomes fulfillment

residual ties out of desperate attempts at connection
burning those same bridges out of fear
i'm known
not understood
used as a tool from my own overextended hand
not understanding
people can't be used as distractions
finding the flaws in repeated dynamics
where do they **** up
but where do i contribute
is the better question
how am i the problem.
i am the problem
and now, how do i resolve this
time will offer it's lesson again
let me catch up
i'm still doing my homework
please professor life, give me a second.
life updates: skipped my first college semester, lost two-three relationships, gained a new relationship, lost my therapist to get a new one,  got a job and am now juggling school and work.
Leocardo Reis Sep 2021
At dawn,
I comforted myself
by saying
there is still time.

At twilight,
I know
it had not been so.

To seek refuge
in the time that is left
is folly;
better to have done
than to have
thought of doing.
Chad Young Feb 2021
Grassmannian scattering amplitudes.
Galaxies with momentum horizons.
Galaxies moving in different directions at different speeds.

Still haven't found the graviton.
Huge interferometers.

Any work here seems like a lot of teamwork in companies.
I'm a drop in the bucket, whose feeling is my enemy if I am to manage complexity.

So one part of me says "just do it, do the problems I have prepared to do".
But I feel I'm missing a level of management of the field, like I'm not getting the big picture.
It is said: from point to expanse to point and back again.
Am I looking for a shortcut?
Learning purifies, it reveals what is now impossible to see.

A lack of study?
I know all the fundamental theories of physics and elementary calculations.
I know of all the branches of math and where they lead.
All of my notes of formulas are unused.
It's good that I studied electronics to know what focusing on math and physics gets me after graduation.
What really stays with me is what electronics isn't, but also how basic it is.
This is what I now expect for this endeavor.
The less help I get in it, the longer it takes.
Muhammad, pbuh, said get half of your knowledge from others and half from yourself.
But it is hard to tell what is from me.
Is my work the only thing: He meaning only let help solve half my problems?

There is:
1. What I need to work on
2. What I want to work on
3. Gain a degree of simplicity
4. Understanding what work is not

Studies show that novices often pay attention to different elements in a problem than experts.
I gain more from being asked a question that is impossible to answer than solving a question for computation's sake.
How do I know why a plane tangent to a sphere can only intersect at one point?
I knew that before I did the problem, but I wasn't aware I was trying to disprove that!
Like trying to make black pigment out of only yellow and blue.
No, that's too simple.
It is like nothing I ever experienced!
I was unaware of the use of the elements.
It is one thing to read a theory, to copy an equation, but to go through problems makes me experience the elements in ways I never knew.
To know limitations I was blind to because I had never tried to connect them before.
That is why experts can zero in on a problem so fast, and why novices are snagged on basics.

This excursion into the expanse has ended with a knowledge of the love of math problems.
Self-study, but with four degrees.
Mystic Ink Plus Dec 2020
Today I consulted
And referred to you
You gazed me
Head to toe
Probably found nothing
Then, referred me back

I put myself on
Mindset Therapy
And ensured to rest on time

"No need of follow-up"
"Heal by yourself"
Pretty harsh advice, that was
Genre: Clinical
Theme: Something out of nothing
A May 2020
I'm falling up
            I'm floating down
                              I've had enough
                                            Drugs take the crown
Manipulated By Addiction
Emily Mar 2020
I can feel it within
Growing bigger and bigger
Twisting and pulsing

It feeds off negativity
Little quirks that make me crazy
Laziness and lacking responsibility

It grows and grows
Festering inside
Until finally it boils over
Only to restart again
Creator Sun Aug 2019
Her mouth twists into a smile.
A couple of hours later it becomes a frown.
It looks a little lopsided, doesn't it?
One arm is longer than the other; and faster.

But she doesn't care. Nobody does.
She smiles and frowns all day.
For she is but a servant tell,
the true master of the day.

It reaches out to us.
Tells us what to do and when to do it.

An age old foe.
For no one can escape it's cages.

A fabrication of the mind.
It traps us all in it's never ending orbit.

It's just like a dime.
Our future depends on how we use it.
I've picked this word to write a poetry about today since I'd gone off schedule due to falling sick. So here's a poem about time and its servant. clock. We all have the same amount of hours a day, so why are some people able to keep everything on track while others fall to vices such as procrastination? I've been watching a few Ted Talks and the monkey one stuck out to me. Also the paperclip for a house. Anyways, I'll end the note now and get on to writing another poem. I do hope that you enjoy a new experimental writing style I've used!
Laokos Jun 2019
every summer,
dead baby birds
on the
walkway leading
to the
entrance of
my apartment

last summer there
were three, all
pinked skin, just
a few inches
from each other.

the ants
found them
first, scurried all
over them,
they could before
the cat(s) got
to them
at night.

this summer i've
only seen one,
nice and
plump with
plumage. this
it was gone
too though,
nothing but
the pile
of tree seeds
it was on

they nest there,
in the dryer
vents on
each floor.
-drawn there, I
guess, by the
and lofty protection
from predators.

thing is, they
clog the exhaust
with their nests
and people
complain about
wet clothes.


and safe from

but not safe
from one
phone call
to management.
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