Before, our love
Became inanimate
It had flickered, pulsed
Its own heart
Beating as we slowly
Danced across the floor
The light in our eyes
Lit every corner of the room
Leaving no room for doubt

After, our love
Became inanimate
Our hearts, clanging bells
Calling for each other
Absent our names
Only shadows filled the room
And doubt, positioned
In the middle of the floor

We knew how to sit
On opposite ends of the room
Inanimate expressions
With the absence of hearts

My name lingered upon his lips
At midnight, he forgot
To whisper it three times
We had agreed to this arrangement
The clock sang out my farewell
And I fell apart, disassembling
Into a figment of regret

In July, I collect stardust
And text dust
I linger in Shakespeare’s shadow
And who knew
He had a home in Oregon
I walk along his stairs
Finding myself hovering in front
A trio of theatres, tall witches
Brewing a cauldron of magic
Each performance, enticing
Crowds from every corner
And I follow in suit
Getting lost in the magic
That makes me want
To not return home

His kiss,
Hot asphalt
And scorched lips
I cracked
Chapped were the definitions
And my words, fragments
Melting on the sidewalk
And I cracked
Felt myself fall apart
My soul evaporated
And my heart, home for worms
And left out, parched
Dust scattering along the asphalt
Of his name

Balance
Comes in the morning
Before chaos
Has settled into its afternoon
Routine, I pause
In these moments
Hands open and flat
Slowly breathing, allowing
The light to capture
Me evenly

I want to say more
Than your name
Or I think it is your name
It comes out a jumbled mess
A mouth full of scrabble tiles
I spit out words
You tell me I talk too much
Peel myself apart
Exposing my heart
Before appetizers arrive to the table
And you can’t enjoy your salad
With my heart beating
Upon your plate
I try to zip myself back up
It was too late though
All my stories flooded the table
Blabbering the details
Until I could make a nine course meal
From your ridicule

I sleep with the lights on every night

For I don’t want to be surrounded by darkness

Suffocate in the blackness

For in the dark

Every outline sprouts arms and legs

Close your eyes and listen

To the gnashing of teeth and rumbling of low growls

For in the dark

Blind to hands and teeth

They invade my perception

Closing in an angry mob of outlines

For in the dark

Everything comes alive

Lurking along the edge

While I stumble over my feet

For in the dark

I am helpless and alone

My heartbeat clatters in my ears

Creating my own soundtrack

For in the dark

Anything is possible in the sea of black

Blind, unable to find myself

I am lost spiraling around and around in the unknown

For in the dark

Everything is strange therefore a stranger

Unable to talk, I wish only to scream

But I am told not to talk to strangers

For in the dark

I myself become unknown

Floundering within the outlines

Until they consume me up

For in the dark

I hear every word I don’t want to hear

Feel every emotion I try hide

I am unable to speak

For in the dark

Anything is possible

Blind and helpless

Until I am left with only tears

So I sleep with the lights on every night

The sky goes for miles
ocean full of floating clouds
birds are diving fish

You ask me
To build you cities
When I only have
Avenues of waterfalls
I wish
These words
Could build you rafts
So you could
Float along the horizon
At the end of the day
Promises are hollow
And we all sink
Like ships

It takes seconds
For the fire to spread
And it took down
Small towns first
Ripping apart families
Names scattering, fleeing
And we all watch
The media speculated
All the loss history
Displaced heartbeats
And rationalize it
Then it hit cities
Seas of red and orange
Licking and devouring
Neighborhoods
And politicians wanted to blame
Everyone but themselves
When it expanded passed borders
We all went silent
Countries transformed into tattered pages
People swirling around, around
Astronauts said groups looked like storms
Tornados bouncing from land to land
As red slowly spread
Flickering orange
Spreading like a pair of wings
Encompassing the earth

The summer is memories

Of chalked drawings and hopscotch squares

I still find it under my nails

Thin layer of dust in pastels

Crammed under, compacted

With summers of my childhood

Reduced to hieroglyphs

Incomplete scribbles, a broken language

Of friendships long forgotten

And places long lost

I can’t help but feel regret

For I was willing to reduce my childhood

To nothing more than chalked reminders

Beneath my nails

I cry these days
When I read positive news
Something shatters in me
And I think it is hope
Apathy has become a bedfellow
An unwanted lover loitering nearby
I feel myself falling apart, alone
My eyes find dark space
Settling there, trying to disappear
My bones grinding into the ground
Until rooted fingers born from their shavings
Grip my lungs, squeezing tighter and tighter
And my life screeches from chapped lips

Tiny cheesecake
You are such a delight
A tiny morsel
Three bites all mine
Once I find that pesky fork of mine

The night clung to me
Like a cold sweat
Pressing my dress
Against my skin
Until the dampness of my panic
Ran with my mascara
I nestled my keys between my fingers
Makeshift Freddy Krueger
Lashing out at shadows
As they slinked around my feet
Fear sliding slowly along my face
And wiped it away quickly
So I could forget
I was alone
In the middle of the city
At night
Leering glares and catcalls
Loitered doorways
Tugging at my sleeves
Twisting their claws in my hair
Offering up glasses overflowing
In broken promises
And blatant lies
As I tried to rush by
Looking for a vacant streetlights
To hover, fluttering near with paper wings
So I could forget
I was woman alone
In the middle of the city
At night

A lonely star
Isolated in space
And I dream
Of planets
Touching their atmospheres
Feeling them
Slip smoothly between fingers
Isn’t that love
To gather fingers
In an embrace
To pull someone close
Into your gravity
Whisper them a lullaby
Absorbing their opulence
Falling away into darkness
Constellations of rendezvouses
And this is how
Comets are made

I am the creation
of many unsung songs
each tune lived and died
for a moment on my lips
pulling the lyrics inside
so the birds in my rib cage
have something
a brief piece of freedom
as I rest my hands
on my self-made cage

He asked me to confess expectations
An open dare to my emotions
My heart clanged against ribcage
Shaking the sturdiness of my spine
And I cried, each tear
Their own confession
As my expectations trailed down my cheeks
And I couldn’t tell him the truth
Or deliver him my hope
In a careful created box of words
I could trace the exit wounds of each exe
And the pain lingered, small phantoms
I wasn’t ready to let him go
So when he asked for a confession
I didn’t give him my emotions
Because how could I expect him to stay
When everyone leaves?

I can’t help but wonder if we have crossed paths
Over and over again, tangling each hello
Catching a hint of mischief when we first bumped into each other
And how easy it was for us to slip into
Conversations, plotting to take on the world
But first things first, we have to catch the moon
And hold the stars ransom in our back pockets
I swear we were pirates singing sea shanties
And conquering cities, but now we settle
For late night dance parties, and one shot, two shot, three
And sure, we are invincible, and I can’t help but wonder
If we have crossed paths over and over again
Our stories layering, life long friends
Or maybe arch nemeses, and each time
Tagging out a new adventure
Where we are chasing after each other
I swear we were renegades, young rebels
Questioning authority and pushing boundaries
Now, we collaborate artistically
Broadcasting in a world of social media, one shout, two shout, three
And sure, we are strong, and I can’t help but wonder
If we have crossed paths over and over again
Our history repeating, kindred spirits
Or maybe pieces of the same soul, and each time
We meet, we find a part of ourselves
We had forgotten

My anxiety
Is my religion
I wear my nerves
Around my neck
Some days
I wish I wasn’t
So committed
To this god
I wish I hadn’t
Spent so much time
Learning the rules
I want to be excommunicated
Discard my racing heartbeat
Peel away my bouts of depression
I want to join a support group
And share my cult stories
Where my fears kidnapped me
From my family and friends
Write a book about my survival
Tour the world
reciting past doctrines of my anxiety
But instead, I stretch myself
Along my bed
Arms open
And sink beneath the weight
Of my religion, my anxiety

Welcome to corporate America
Take your seat
First of all,
We want to let you know
We appreciate you
You will be an asset
To our growing team of industry
Pay no mind to the construction
We are building ca.. Cubicles
For you are now a part of a team.. Our team
So settle into your seat
We want you to feel empowered
To grow beyond these walls
But stay in your seat
Remain focused
Please don’t put up any pictures on your cubicles
We don’t want you to be distracted
We don’t want you to remember freedom
Stop watching the clock
For your time is our time
We expect you to be an ambassador for our products
On and off the clock
The best advertising is free advertising
And we expect you to give up everything
So we can plaster our company logo across your chest
Have you thought about your brand?
How do you plan to sell yourself..  Back to us
To prove you are worth something
You see we own you now
Stay in your seat
We are building these cages for your own good
Your own good
Is to keep on task
Don’t ask questions
Just accept these walls
We read somewhere the latest work environment is a tomb
We empower you to do exactly what we say
Us corporations are individuals
And we want to let you know
We appreciate you
Enough to strip away your identity
Pluck away the vowels of your name
And make you a number
What is your brand?
You need to keep us interested in you
Don’t rattle your cages
Stay seated, keep focused
Let us break your back
Break you down
To keystrokes and metrics
Us corporations are individuals
And you are company assets now
We want to empower you
By taking away your choices
Your job will be what we say it is
So just do it
I know we told you the job would be one thing
But our needs and desires are always evolving
And we want to consume you
Devour every bit of your talent
What is your brand?
Have you thought about just tattooing our company motto
Across your chest?
Stay in your seat and stop rattling your cages
And whatever you do
Don’t climb up and over the walls
For you are a company asset now

She wore the results of last night’s fight

On her face as badges of honor

Sitting on the curb, she is waiting

Waiting for a ride, an escape

Away from this life

Neatly tucked away in a small corner apartment

The sun beats down upon her back

Rays pounding until her body was sweating

And she wanted to cry

No one to call and nowhere to go

She sits outside a church

Hoping for charity

Thinking she should get some religion

Then at least she could confess her troubles

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt

Knowing she had nowhere to go

Except a curb outside a church

Discarded, like a five year old sofa

Permanently sunken in the middle

Or an old office chair missing a wheel

So always teetered to one side

She slumped forward

Watching the traffic speeding by

Hope lingering on her face

Tucked in the wrinkles around her eyes

Maybe, she needed a sign

With HELP scribbled in big bold black letters

Then maybe she could find something more than this curb

Maybe she could find her escape

Her way out of this cycle

I am a single daisy
lingering in a blue vase
and I hold

the room

I chiseled out your initials

Into rose petals

And heads of dainty daisies

Filter memories

Into the smooth curve

Of marbles, clinking

Into the bottom

Of the vase, rearrange

The vowels of your name

Into the most beautiful bouquet

And I find myself humming

To the thought of your smile

And it is quite darling

I keep waiting
For you to say
My name
Lingering in the background
I watch you
With hands open
Stretching out my fingers
Trying to tug
At your shadow
Pulling you closer, closer
I want you
To consume
Every inch of me
Set me free
In the strength of your smile
And the delicacy of my sigh

Love is delicious
Lingering deep in your chest
In a heart-shaped box
Pulsing slowly
You glow, flickers
In your gaze
And love finds a way
To communicate, deeply
In rhythm, and unspoken words

the distance between

you and I

is a single word

hovering upon my lips

clings to me

and I grip on to it

hoping it won't slip away

disappear, be forgotten

me with you

I let my fingers

remain in your grasp

for an extra second

hoping I won't slip away

from you

Doodling out the hours
And minutes
Become tiny emojis
Criss-cross, half-finished
Tic tac toe games
And I feel lost
Each box a reminder
Of these quarantine
Afternoons, and your name
Is always on my lips
Along with the words
I miss you

My body, driftwood
Remnants of a ship
That hit the wall
Hours ago
And floating
Conversations erode
Into splinters
Corpses, these words
Clutching at emotions
For one last lifesaver
To keep me alive
Drifting on the surface
In hopes to find home

Crumbling down

Seek safety in a doorway

I feel the walls shake

Falling falling under your gaze

Warmth in your smile

Left my world trembling

Splintering and breaking apart reasoning

Wave after wave, nerves carrying this seismic activity

And I am quaking for your touch

Unable to speak

Unable to hold my balance

Gripping onto the doorway, knuckles white

Gaze to the floor, focusing

Quivering lips, wavering breath

I am in the doorway you have just crossed

Clutching your arm you stop

Looking at each other

You know what I can’t say

Pulling me close

Tumbling, crumbling are these walls

Heart tremors

Love has come and shook my world upside down

Fingertips linger upon skin
I trace my answers
As if my hands are mouths
Tongues lapping at the salt
The sunrise rests upon you
Layers of pink, orange and yellow
Glisten upon your face
And my gaze
Falls into your eyes
Your name
The horizon upon my tongue
And our love, I devour
Slowly eating with every touch

Love, an elusive language
Spoken clumsily from my tongue
Unsteady are these words
I look for guidance
In the soft tone of your voice
My emotions clamor inside
Waves, ebbing back and forth
Compromises are subtle sometimes
Like slipping my fingers
In your hand

Always missing
and I desire
to peel away everything
you have become
and consume it
piece by piece
have it run through my veins
and I will become
everything you once were

I should have known
That when you wrote
I love you
At the end of the card
It would be fleeting
The ink bled
And the words broke down
As quick as my heart
It all faded in the end
Even your name on my lips

I sway more
Fairy skirt swirling
Around me
Dancing with every step
I feel fluid
Shifting and bending
With every stride
My pixie side finds me
On an overcast day
Rain collecting upon skin
Skirt tickling my sides
And I find myself dancing
Jumping along puddles
Having the water whirl
Twist into a dancing partner
Clinging to me
And the edges of my Fairy skirt
As I walk away

Flickering, you shine within my eyes
Shooting stars, and I grab your hand
So we can fly, you take me to the moon
And show me the world
In the curve of your smile

Rain filters
through fingers
slipping in between
the cracks
conversations, wet
fluid, bending against skin
pooling at feet
puddles, these topics
we are eager to stomp
dance, splashing
memories catching
on the hems of our clothes
drenching, our sensations
shiver, and we are cold
in these connections

These days, anxiety pools around feet
And I drown, which means
I wake up randomly gasping
Pulling at the air, searching for a ladder
Flailing in early morning
As if I am trying to fly
I want to fly away or pull the moon down
So I can build sandcastles on its surface
Then move in, taking residency up in the stars
Fear comes in waves, ebbing and flowing
Over my nerves, breaking down sandcastles
Anxiety, a fountain, always overflowing
Seeping into the corners of my eyes
And I cry for a raft in this tumultuous sea

I wear autumn
Upon my shoulders
Some say I hold fire
My paws dark as coal
And when I run
I am the fog
Early morning mist
Disappearing into the trees
I laugh haunting the shadows
To be mistaken for ghosts
That is autumn--those spirits
And they run their fingers
Through my coat

One shoelace

a few bolts

ticket stubs

a half of a picture

souvenir key chain from Florida

fragments

of him

tiny ghosts

tucked in the corners

so I always find him

never quite

let him go

always reappearing

clinging on to my skin

leaving the residue of his name

Chasing after rainbows at midnight

Greeting the morning barefoot

Letting my smile linger a second longer

Than any conversation

Collecting fortune cookie fortunes in my back pocket

Believing the world is more beautiful at dusk

Recite my dreams in two second poems

Watch the city breathe

Collecting the lights in my hands

Setting them free in my closet

I will paint this city in my rules

Live within my own lines

Ponder a second too long on the ridiculous

Greet this life with a mischief smile and open arms

Serenity is translucent

In the stillness I find myself

Icing over my skin

Tracing tranquility in small patterns

Over my stomach

Letting my strength be silent

As my mouth rests

Control doesn’t have to be loud to be heard

Standing here, I watch the world move

I feel myself come into me

Reflecting my soul within tiny flecks of light

I let my dreams bend and shimmer

While I wait motionless

Composure freezes upon my face

Stern eyes and soft smile

I will greet the world with open arms

In my silence, I find myself

The fusillade of promises
Poured from your mouth
And pooled at my feet
Cold against skin
The sentences broke apart
And they nibbled at my toes
Leaving lies knotted around my ankles
And I watched you
Shifting and squirming under my gaze
You hoped my emotions
Flooded my eyes
So I wouldn’t see the growing ripples around my feet
Vibrations of disappointment rumbled
Until they erupted into the last time
And I walked away
Leaving you with incomplete sentences

Your eyes were always black as night

But when they lit up with a galaxy

I found myself lost

Floating, drifting along your sea of stars

Until I fell into your sun

Burning up in your gaze

I dissipated into the solar system of your smile

That was when I realized

Darkness was as beautiful as light

People leave

Little ghosts dangling

And you see the gaps

Muddy footprints and outline bodies

There is a crime

Or maybe I think there is a crime

When a friend

Yanks themselves from your life

And you find yourself

Talking to yourself

Contemplating if they had

Just imaginary

Tickling upon my skin
I feel myself bloom
As roots find themselves
Twisting, weaving within soul
Open my hands, palms up
I let the petals gather
Flourishing upon my tongue
I am my own garden
Find myself wandering within myself
For hours

We collect in boxes
Pixelated faces
Shifting back and forth
Our voices clamor against each other
We gather in arrangements
Of electronic meetings
The pandemonium of the pandemic
Has us learning to live in a science fiction novel
Trading in the outside word
For our little cubicles
As we learn to avoid the invisible invasion
Trying to ****** our bodies
We assemble in various forms
Video or voice streaming
Learning to create, to produce
To live within the pixelated dots
Of the computer screen

I am a half full of glass
so I am either
drowning in dreams
or suffocating with fear

swish me around, around
so everything blurs
and I am fishing
to find myself in the jumble

Pulling force
nagging
we revolve, attractive
drawing us
together
so many rules
try to define me
simply because
I know how
to keep my feet
on the ground

Worth is your weight in gold

shine you up, so sparkle

then throw you into my collection

I need more, so much more

gather up in handfuls, wondering

how much I can sell the human body for?

your only value

is the price tag around your wrist

fresh starts creep like vines
layering the window sill
the day smells like rain