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Lily Audra Oct 2022
I hate dreaming about her,
Her hands immediate and cold,
Peeling back my shirt,
I lay down with my arms over my face and say:
'you shouldn't be allowed,'
In the time between night and day,
The puddle blue sky towers over me,
Pokes me back into sleep,
Where she might be.
How dare she!
Kind and gentle, her voice lullabying me into ease,
My mouth rising with a smile at the edges only to remember and feel double crushed,
Pressed into the bed by her shoe,
And worse,
Sometimes reality plays out and I have to relive it,
Like having my arm broken twice to reset the bone,
Crunch crunch,
I feel violated because my brain is for me and she shouldn't be allowed into the soft parts without my permission.
I wake and start the day with the stone in my throat and swallow and swallow and it does go away.
alli brunell Sep 2022
Any time my heart wants to text you
my brain knows to put the phone down  
nothing good ever comes from a “hey…”
we talk twice a year
once on my birthday and once on yours
that should be enough
but there are days when it doesn’t feel like enough
my brain and my heart spit knives at each other
arguing over who is right
should we text him
should we wait until next year
my heart starts typing out “it’s been a while”
and I immediately turn my phone off
its been 7 years, he’s over it
no one keeps feelings that long
“except for me”
we’re adults now, maybe things would be diff—
“I can’t afford to think that way”
thoughts like those cause nothing but stress and a pain in my chest
we can wait 11 more months
and we will have this internal dialogue 11 more times
and I will always wonder what might happen
if I actually press send
“I guess we’ll never know”
I’ll see you April 2nd
Hello Daisies Jun 2022
From GTA
To oakwood
To living together
Us three
To gorillas with bananas
To 2019 no more virgins

I am hurting
I am lost
I have lost
So much
How can I go on

From cons
To Brian jokes
To surprise birthday cakes
And surprise birthday trips

Where do I get
My sanity back
My heart to not hurt
Release the memories
Into the ocean

I can't contain them
They are tearing me apart,
Ripping out my heart
Would hurt less

You seem fine
I gave you your new life
Guess I couldn't be in it
I still can't believe it

Best friends forever
Sisters like no others
Stronger then lovers
Gone and alone
Like whatever

I still remember
First meeting you
Playing that game
Thinking you're cool
I still remember
Introducing you
Sharing the memes
Thinking this is everything

I still remember the concerts
I still remember prom
I still remember getting in trouble together
Dying are hair
Without a care

I still remember best friends forever
I guess you forgot
What that meant
Prioritize anyone but us
And just forgot about us

You can move on
But I can't go on
I still remember it all
Hits me like a train
Or wrecking ball
I'm down for the count
I can't be doing this
Let me let go of the sadness

Best friends forever
Means nothing
If you can't remember
To love your friends
And be with us
It's so obvious
You're gone

And I am not too far along
But where I go I do not know
Feels like I'm already in hell

*** I also remember

Ditching me for her
Replacing me with another
Forgetting me for him
Not being there when she died
Always telling me a lie
And I'd forgive you
To not lose you
But it hurt
More and more
It hurts
How id beg
Basically on my knees
How pathetic I became
Yet again
For your attention

I still remember it all
And I'm starting to fall
Completely apart

Pls let the pain stop
Let the memories go
It's hurting me
I don't want to forget the good
But the bad is too much from you
You broke our hearts
And you didn't even fall apart

Ariana Robinson Sep 2021
I wish I could scrub you from my skin
But your fingerprints have seeped through to my soul
You left smudges, marks
                 on my windows
And now, I think I will never be free of you
You have ruined me for anyone else
I don't shine quite the same
And it's a shame
I've given so much of myself that now, I'm left with only pieces of who I once was
After you waltzed in
   like the Devil in the pale moonlight
With your promises
as empty as they were
And your "I love you's"
even I knew they were lies as they fell from your lips
But I believed them
And I actually thought you were different
Silly me because I'll be spending a spell
Trying to wipe you away
I refuse to be dirtied by the likes of you
Sydney Jul 2021
I knew right away
when you stopped choosing me.

I knew because you started
only texting back one word replies,

I knew because none of you snap stories
from our trip included me,

I knew because you started untagging yourself
in my instagram pictures - that you told me to tag you in,

I knew because you lied about
other girls being down the shore,

I knew because you changed your Facebook
picture to you and a "friend",

I knew because in the photo
you were wearing a shirt that I bought you,

I knew because you said
she was just an old friend,

I knew because you changed my contact name in your phone
but wouldn't explain why,

I knew because you started rehashing previous drama
just to find an excuse,

I knew because you started
ignoring my calls,

I knew because you said you
just weren't ready for a relationship,

I knew because you said you
needed some space,

I knew because two days later your Facebook said
"In a Relationship" with the girl from your picture,

I knew then that you had never been choosing me.
You were placing me,
into the void of whatever your life was missing.
Merely a place holder
until you found what you really wanted.

I knew, right away
that you stopped wanting me, choosing me, and loving me
because you never wanted
to choose me
to love
at all.
Sophie Hartl Dec 2020
officially it has been two years,
unofficially one.

I am happier elsewhere, and I can imagine you are too
still you remain
my inspiration for poetry,
and my thoughts.

when I see her there with you,
I am not sad,
and I am not not happy
mostly, I wonder —

do you think about me still?
do you compare her to me?
I did, I compared him with you

even though I promised to him and myself
that I wouldn’t

but the mind does what it wants

do you fight like we used to, loud and aggressive?
or does that require years of confidence built up by baby love

do you love like we used to, admittedly & comparatively selfish and shy?
or was that our teenage bodies remaining in us past our 20th

mostly I try to remember how being freshly loved by you was
so much intense frustration, in all ways,
endless giggles, but often nights with dawn sorrow.
of course, I need to remind myself that there was bad
my mind tries to only highlight the good with you

mostly I wonder how such intense fighters
could turn to such formal friends
and mostly, I am disappointed that you haven’t
told me about her yet.
an old goldie
xandra Nov 2020
you're right there,
just waiting for me
i know you are,
you put it so plainly,
and i can clearly see
you're so sweet
i'm so tempted
as i stand here screaming out your name,
i know i can't have you
why must you do this to me, torture me so?
i love you, but you don't love me back
yes, you give me more,
but not what i want,
won't you cut me some slack? is this always going to be this way?
"no, it won't, one day things will be different,"
i hope to hear you say.
pls this was from the year two thousand and whenever the fck, goodnight, but I edited the formatting so it was less **** thanks
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