Absolutely beautiful carcinogenic
Debating, echoing, fetching
Gathering handfuls, intoxicating
Jigsaw kindness lacking memory
Nothing operating properly!
Questioning reasons sincerely
Testing universal visions
Why x-ray yesterday's zeal?

It’s the rare, true, and scariest goal
To find someone to love your soul

I could scream at you
I could punch you
But no good would it do
For either me or you

Although my anger is still hot
I'm cooling it down with the breath I've caught

"A Psalm of Life" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
What the heart of the young man said to the Psalmist

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world’s broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!APsalmof_Life

Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,—act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o’erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;—

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

Incoherently decreasing my voice ...
                             Spinning?                       Spiraling?

                                       Absolutely falling!!
In love? Or into darkness?
                                                What is this called?

            I AM FLYING!!

Oh, what a sharpness...
                                          To find out you are falling.

Whispers slowly growing
                                               Shadows casting.

A dark world turned black ...
                                               Falling still?
                                                                   No I think I am flying!?
Up above ... I swear it!

I must be lifting higher!
                                          Or am I just ... falling too fast?

I do not know what I cannot understand.

What a terror
                         Oh the despair

Screams envelope the blackness
                                                          Beauty glides along my veins

                                                     Blood
                                   Flowing up from my body

                 Amazing trickles of red dots moving above

                                  How can I stop, catch myself?
Where is love?

Even when I'm simple you turn away,
I am sitting here telling you I'm not okay,
Turn your head from my cries if you’re mean,
These things I tell are something, they are keen,
Understand that you’re not there for me,
Paying bills is not the key,
I cry to you, of all I care,
So much I have had to bare,
No pity please, I want none,
But I'm not liking the shun,
You always disrespect my heart,
Irresponsibly shooting a missing dart,
Hello there, please remember me,
I need attention too, can't you see,
Denial fills you, in your mind,
Thinking you are so kind,
The love I feel, but not the attention
Is any of this comprehension
Listen to me, here me out,
Be there when I begin to cry out.

A walk on the beach, calm and content
A slow stride with intent
Directions are clearly written
For the water tempts with graceful position
"Come to me, and take a swim
I will shelter you, please come on in
Little green speckled walker
I, the Ocean, call you son and daughter."
With a joyous pitter
And an excited patter
Water to toes,
Then feet, legs, and tummy, all the way to little turtle’s nose.
Protection and freedom within the ocean
A soft sweet lullaby motion

It is when you are corrupted that it is most difficult to go back, but falling out of innocence is easy. It's as if you could laugh you way from sweet to greed. Just step on down to the *****, wet ground. When your knees hit the floor and you want to stand back up, that will be the moment you realize just how hard it is to climb out. Climb out of the mud that coats your body. The mud that you dismissed as it filled your lungs and spewed from your mouth with every word you spoke. It felt good and easy sliding down into a puddle of muck. Now try to stand up. Try to wipe your greed soaked clothes dry. It's difficult coming back to innocence when you fall so deep into ignorance.

To all the beaten
To all the abused
For all the hurt
For all the accused
This is for you
This is a token
Listen to these words
Listen to the outspoken
Those who hurt them
Those who are mean
Look at what’s done
Look at what’s keen
Some run and hide
Some ruin lives
They come in sweet
They leave with knives
This is the way
This is how it's done
It helps the evil
It helps no one
Leave the lost alone
Leave them to be found
Notice the hatred you have
Notice all that's sound
Look at what you do
Look what's been made
They show with guns
They come with a grenade
Taking you away
Taking your life
Death is the cost
Death reaps with a scythe
You broke a heart
You broke your own
Not easily fixed
Not as a bone
Tell the world
Tell its worth
Breaking to be broken
Breaking this Earth

Quickly it brewed
Slowly it cooled
A love with passion
Full of compassion
Died out in the way
Hot water steams away

A single string, a strand of hair
Tiny, almost unseen
A flower in a field
At the center of your life
Unnoticed
Dropping pedals slowly
Alone, blowing in the winds
The single string holds on
The lost flower stands tall
Unnoticed but
Not insignificant

A tiny piece
That no one sees
Yet a giant that stomps on by
One day you’ll understand
You’ll see
Just how big this is
How strong this is
I tell you now
But you do not know

I talk of something
That no one wants to feel
But you will,
One day you will know
The delicate touch
And strong force it brings
It’ll be too late though
For you did not notice before
The flower in a field
Blowing in the wind

You did not notice before
The string across your life
Holding everything together
With strength and softness
unnoticed
As it floats on by
Lost as it passes
Pedals gone as they fall
Never returning

Only leaving memories
Of what it once was
A single string, a strand of hair
Tiny, almost unseen,
A flower in a field,
At the center of your life
gone

It sure is such a rarity
To have any kind of clarity
In this pall we’re covered with - no verity
Grey is not lit with any prosperity
Only shroud covered lands all in a form of familiarity
Knowing what is covered, but cannot see it’s true identity
Shadows cast through the day of skies so cloudy
A wet mist reminds - there is no remedy
Sunshine does not peek or wink through an atmosphere so gloomy
Dark grey grows over the land walked by one in singularity
Unfortunately, having clarity is such a rarity, a sad insincerity..

It was the longest cigarette she had ever smoked. The most toxic, clouded, cough filled puff of nicotine she ever inhaled. It disappeared eventually, with the wind as she let out the long awaited final drag. The sun touched her skin for the first time in years. The flowers bloomed and the crisp clean mountain air filled her lungs as she walked away. The burnt bud flicked from her hand, stomped on with her foot. A breeze blowing away the cloud of smog, she finally felt clean.

Dissect me, tear me apart, take what you please and turn me to art. Poet, poet mind, poet soul. Write me like one of your poems old. My eyes green and my soul - a rainbow dull. Piece me together with words that flow. Break me apart to describe me as I grow. I want to see what others do. I want to read the thoughts of you. Poet, Dear Poet, write me please. What I ask is not a simple act; I know it won’t come with ease.

Sincerely,
Me

Surfing black waves
Diving deep within unknown caves
Going without knowing a destination
What infatuation
Dark waters covering sight
Seaweeds tickling feet
Temping to pull under what might dare to enter their space

No skies above or light seen
Sounds muffled under deep green color
The feeling of floating and sinking combined
One single lonely feeling that almost died
Forever it lives on as the moon moves the tide
Ever-changing but never fleeting inside

Terminal depths and loved kept
Hidden are those who understand the scene
Displayed before your eyes above, although unseen
Surf the blackness of waves never failing gratification
Dive into the depths without knowing destination
Allow weeds that tickle your feet to pull you under, they tempt
Swallow the deep green waters of a bay where others are exempt

You drew me in, in that special way you do
Pulled into your space without resistance
A deer in headlights in total awe of you
Frozen and nervous, between us there is zero distance
Crashed into each other slowly like waves in the ocean
Beautiful and harsh, full of passion
Water to sand, meshing together in slow motion
Fierce with lust, and an undeniable connection
The sweet taste of your lips on mine
Makes butterflies swarm my whole body
Hidden nerves, corner kisses, crossing the line
We don’t mind, and it’s fun being naughty

So to you I raise my glass
Cheers for bringing me intoxication
A toast for every slap of my ***
A smile, for every bit of our infatuation

You drew me in, in that special way you do
Pulled into your space without resistance
A deer in headlights in total awe of you
Frozen and nervous, between us there is zero distance

Crashed into each other slowly like waves in the ocean
Beautiful and harsh, full of passion
Water to sand, meshing together in slow motion
Fierce with lust, and an undeniable connection

The sweet taste of your lips on mine
Makes butterflies swarm my whole body
Please, I beg cross the line
We don’t mind being a little bit naughty

So to you I raise my glass
Cheers for bringing me intoxication
A toast for every slap of my ***
A smile, for every bit of our infatuation

A land only nature has touched
A lion to its prey, clutched
Before that though
The Lion crept up real slow
Crouched down real low
He puts on a good show
Creeping and crawling
Absolutely stalking
His ***** orange coloring
Unseen by a prey so alluring
His big tufted paws are like a quiet breeze
Unheard by a prey totally at ease
His eyes focus, like a morning lotus
Finding the sun with such slowness
Silently stalking towards prey, not yet ferocious
A gleaming meaty meal ready to devour
Just another moment and little prey will cower
First a pounce with claws drawn out
Then a bite and a shake, making the prey shout
Now a *****!
Chewing prey up before its deceased
Drug across the land only nature has touched
A lion has won it’s hunt, quiet now, be hushed
Can you hear nature sing, the way she does
With violence and beauty no matter if lion or cheetahs
Now humans are different! Or is it really so?
The desire the same as a beasts hunt, reaping what we sow
A need to ***** and overpower
A craving to devour

Water on my fingertips
Slowly it drips
Like watching leaves turn color
In the Autumn skies allure
Drops on the floor
Never as they once were before
Dripping from me, I wait
For time to pass, so innate
As ticks tocks and water drops
Play a familiar harmony
Heart pounding adds to the symphony
Like how the ocean sang and danced
As waves crash over the wet sand
Or the way birds chipped with buzzing bees
As the wind rustled the feathers of a thousand trees
Understand this beauty, holy matrimony
It is a perfect harmony
Hold on to the lyrics sung in the skies above
Listen and hold the music of truelove
Water drips from my fingertips
And all I do is watch it fall as my heart skips
For nature’s beautiful music is hidden
Taken from me as if I am forbidden
Forbidden to love or feel the peace given
It’s return I await, then all can be forgiven

"The Silence Is So Loud"

Floating along the mountains, just above the ground
Soaring high, seeing, feeling and flying
The silence of wind so ******* loud
Falling down suddenly, what a rude awakening

But we do not wake, we just quietly stare
At the ground growing closer
Knowing we will not splatter here
Sometimes wishing it so, just for the exposure

Exposure of our fearless mind, so terrified
Not of the rise or fall, as we know them well
Afraid of our weakness, and that our fear might be verified
That we might let go, forgetting we're under a spell

We allow our rise to continue and soar without regard
And do not consider the descent we know is coming
Wind bustling our ears muffling the thoughts we continuously disregard
For the rise is beautiful, like flying and dancing

The high is absolutely thrilling, we can no longer think clearly
We try to stay with the energizing adrenaline, we try to gain composure
Yet, we grow weary
So here comes the free fall, watch the ground grow closer

And we begin to beg ... for a level head to rest in our cave.
Oh the great highs and the terrible lows. A level head is all we crave...

Generational gaps of knowledge and experience
Bringing to you some kind of appearance
Like the technology at our fingertips
Or the way an old clock ticks
Differences in us by decades of age
Though, similar in so many ways
Like the way we love
Or want be loved
Like the need to dance
Or taking a chance
Generational differences
But human nonetheless

Generational gaps of knowledge and experience
Bringing to you some kind of appearance
Like the technology at our fingertips
Or the way an old clock ticks
Differences in us by decades of age
Though, similar in so many ways
Like the way we love
Or want be loved
Like the need to dance
Or taking a chance
Generational differences
But human nonetheless

If only you knew
What I really thought of you
My knight in shining armor
But now you just devour
It is like you eat my soul
******* the life as we go

Maybe you don’t realize
That you have left me paralyzed
Not by love, or infatuation
But by a soul disruption
Leaving me numb and blue
Suffocating, If only you knew

Do you see what you are doing?
Do you know where we are going?
Because I screamed it out nice and loud
I stand alone, but I’m going to find my crowd

Because you refused to let our souls live
We will wither away, nothing to give
I AM TELLING YOU I AM DYING
Do you hear me screaming?
I tried, but soon they’ll say “she died
Suffocated by a soulless life
So sad, she should have tried
Could have been so much more
Than a ‘perfect wife’" .. that's for sure

Do you see me now?
HERE I AM, I bow
Not in submission, NO
But to signal a dramatic completion
Of a play that is too long for the screens
A sad, sad play full of numb and blank scenes
You see, I am ending it now
so we can take our bow

You may choose to stand on stage for the end of time
But I will build my own Moulin Rouge with a bright sign
I will live life, and enjoy my ride
Goodbye goodbye, I officially resign

There's this weight I carry
It's heavy and exhausting
It's beautiful, and quite daring

It yanks me down more times than I can count
Squeezes, punches, and pushes every last nerve
But it's perfect on every account

It's the hardest, most difficult weight I've ever carried
Full of kicks and screams and fits
But it's something I refuse to burry

I could walk away and live a different life
I could be weightless and free
But this weight is worth more than my own life

So I will pull it up over ranges of mountains
I will piggy back it over every raging sea
And if anyone tries to harm it, I would **** thousands

It's the most precious cargo I could ever own
It's the only I can ever have
So I choose to carry it and to never be alone

For its weight brings me great joy
And the warmth is overwhelming
So I hold tight and hold strong and enjoy

For the terrain will mellow down
And it will not always be this heavy
So this weight I hold with love, and in it I drowne.

She moved towards me like silk moves in a breeze. Her glow was soft, yet strikingly strong. Eyes brown and big like an oak tree in summer with rays of golden sun stung throughout. She moved as if an angel slowly awakening inside her. Her long brunette hair shimmered as it gracefully fell along her shoulders resting upon her *******. I would call her body smooth like softly blown waves in the sea, but no justice would it give to her. Her smile could make any woman stop in her tracks, just to appreciate the glorious happiness it brings. Her laugh brings joy like the peace nature brings in solitude. A total eclipse of winters cold, only allowing warm spring and summer. Hips a sailboat rocked by a beat only she could know. Sweet kisses with lips that taste like the most perfectly ripe fruit. Her hands touch as water does; politely gracing your skin and leaving you with droplets slowly fading. Her glance love-filled as a lover of many years might look at you. She is beauty from the inside out; she is graceful with every step; she is everything I want, and so much more.

How can this be
Is it just who I am, is it me?
How can this be?

Questions are lined up
Spinning my head around
Answers nowhere to be found

How do I still crave
To walk into the oldest of caves
The one that whispers inside

How do I still want more
When I have everything I could possibly adore
How and why? Is this just a part of my core?

Wild and free ain't all it sounds to be
I don't want wild, I just want set free
From this taunting voice inside of me

Begging to be fed
And I want it as heavy as lead
But I hide it under the bed

Should I indulge again
Or, sweep it under the rug
Head up, eyes forward
Don't move, stand strong
Hold on to what you have

But the silence is so loud
My heart can't be proud

Turn it off turn it off
Make it stop calling out to me

How can it be?
That I still crave
What lies within that cave

A skippity hop and muddy socks
Sail boats and rain coats
Semis and dump trucks
Bubble baths with ducks
Throwing a ball I love it all!!
***** feet and a sweet treat
Firefighters and quad riders
Lights and sirens and jolly lions
Puppy heroes and horses with wings
These are a few of my favorite things

I found it, I finally found it!
It was hidden deep down,
Covered in layers by a mighty frown.
Freedom from your control and your anger
Has made me a better stranger!
Dancing in the streets
Loving in the sheets!
What bliss it is
To find this!

I was drowning for so long,
Grasping at any emotional song.
Just to feel something,
To know happiness or pain, anything!
I tell you know, I sing with joy,
I am free to kiss a girl or boy.
Does it really matter which?
Now that I have escaped your grasp, *****!

I found it!, I searched so long for it!
My SOUL if free
My very inner-core is happy!

I lost my soul somewhere along the road
But now I do not allow a touch by hands so cold.
I know better, and I learned.
For so long I had yearned,
To bring to life the adventurous me.
Now here I dance, and sing,
Here I raise my glass to the happy and free!

I know what you did to her
I know she agreed to have *** with you
But she didn't agree to the next part
you held her down and came inside
She told you not to she told you not to
You did it anyways
You apologized
but you did it again and
You apologized but you did it again

do you even feel bad
do you even care
That you broke her trust
Disrespected her

She told you she didn't want another baby
But you still did
She told you and..
You didn't listen
You tried anyways and you hurt her
Caused her pain
You apologized but you did it again
Apologized and apologized
But that doesn't fix what you've done and...

I know what you did to her
it's something that can never be undone
Did you think your reasonings were better
Than what she wanted
You wanted another baby she told you she didn't
Yet you held her down and you came inside her
Because your wants are bigger than hers
Did it make you feel powerful
Did it make you feel in control
Did it make you feel better.
I hope it made you feel worse
Worse than she felt when she was curled up on the bed crying

Your heart starts out strong
A break in the chain makes it all wrong
Starts with strength and will
Ends with being helplessly ill
The road block starts with a curious glance
Too soon are you following the dance
Showing the world where you went wrong
I thought you could have been so strong
You have the will and all the power
Take what is yours and build a tower
A wall between you and a curious glance
You can always be what you once were
Strong hearted and always absolutely sure
This battle is tough and only that
A fight to **** off using a loving bat
Show the world what you are worth
You start out strong from birth
Be what you were born to be
A bird that loves back and is free
Follow the correct dance
The one you knew at first glance
Listen to what is true
You know what to do

I lost my soul
Somewhere along the road
I cannot tell you if it was stolen
Or misplaced, I have forgotten

I used to run
I carried with me tons of fun
It resided within my heart
Gone forever, or just broken apart?

I was energetic
And positive with a personality magnetic
Where did it go
I ask myself, but I do not know

I lost myself
Somewhere I’m boxed up on a shelf
Hidden by fear and stress
Emotions in a box, I’m expressionless

I lost my soul
It started many years ago
Slowly and steadily stripped away
Because I gave myself away

I crave
A touch
Not soft or gentle

I crave
A lust
So instrumental

I beg
For you
To grab me roughly

I beg
For you
To touch me toughly

I thirst
In need
For someone pressed against me

I thirst
In need
For Someone to hold me

I desire
To moan
Loudly with pleasure

I desire
To moan
Loudly - uncensored

I crave, I beg, I thirst, I desire a touch, a lust-loan.
You see, I am in dire need to moan.

What is it that you see in me
Captivating and engaging
Listening and relatable
Understanding and without prejudgements
Hell, without any judgements
So you lean in
You get close
You relate and confess and dive deep within yourself
Open up and share
Shed your walls and calased emotions
This feeling not like any other
Not many make you feel this way
So infatuation you grow
And intrigue you sow
And in love you fall
For this, you cannot let go
It is vulnerable and raw
It is open and healing
Calming and exciting
Love, you believe
But love, you do not know
For these are not for you
They are of me
Who I am and who I continue to be
It not for you, it is for me
You are not my dear beloved
Just simply my muse
Flirtation? You must be mistaken
This is my Aura, this is my color

Although you love my color
You do not love ME

For you do not know of the dark shades I harbor
Or the corner with my monsters - that I love so
I cannot be yours, yet you are mine
Given so easily and devotely
But I cannot do that same

This is not my name
My title is not for you
It is for me
I am mine, I am not made for you

It taunts us
It frightens us
Like darkness in day
Like shadows that slay
Swells of the ocean
Swells of a black potion
A true death
A true last breath
Murdered by aspiration
Murdered by suffocation
Your own creation
Your own demolition
Screaming loud to be heard
Screaming undeterred
There is a ray of light
There is sun in sight
Air is on the way
Air without delay
More than a word
More than what’s heard
Keep up the fight
Keep away fright
Shove darkness away
Shove death to obey
Breathe and climb up
Breathe to fill your cup
Joy is what we need
Joy will get us freed
Come on now
Come and bow
Only to the light
Only a continued fight
For it taunts us
For it frightens us
Don’t give up
Don’t give up
See the joy ahead
See it and darkness shed

I've always been told I couldn't.
I finally realize that I can
Take what I want
Devour my needs
Taste the forbbiden fruits
Ones without labor
Grown from stone
Gleaming brightly and suddenly,
As I took a bite
As my lips met skin
The sweet fruity juices became blood
Red dripped from my mouth
Solitude never felt so cold

Hey there Jack, Pat, Jameson, whatever your name is
I'll shoot ya down shot-by-shot, I'll take that hit
All these boys,
I'll shoot ya down like a burning fire
'Cause I need me a Johnny Walker Blue type of man

Something worth swirling slowly
Worth pressing to my lips
Taking slow sips
With the music loud
Dancing around

I don't need me a Jack, Pat, Jameson type of boy anymore
I'll just shoot ya down, shot-by-shot, shoot ya down
I'm here for my Johnny Walker Blue man!

I might get fancy, and even dancy
Off your cheap shot
I'll feel the fire burning
My head swirling
Still, though, something is missing
I'm really just here searching...
For my Johnny Walker Blue man!

Lion, Lion, Roaring loud
Wrapped his loved in shroud
With a crack in silence in the crowd
Hear the desperation he has vowed

Loss is stuck in perpetuation
Love gone, he suffers starvation
And it carries throughout all of creation
Come now, watch his imagination

Lion, Lion, crying despair
Listen and you will hear
The loved-ones voices he must bare
Listening with hope and begging in prayer

My cries are unheard
I want your attention
My heart yet beats
Only for my own protection

I follow my lead
In myself I trust
Knowing I’m loved?
I still have a lust

I feel left out
I’ve been left standing
My hearts hidden
This ride is landing

Forgetting me
Better things to do
Than remembering
I do so much too

Taking care of all
Myself and everything
Money isn’t love
Nothing isn’t something

As I said I am unheard
I ask again for your attention!
Yes, my heart may beat
But it’s from my own protection

What, to you, is seen
Maybe you are soaking in the color green
I hope not for your soul wouldn’t be clean

Perhaps blue the one carried throughout night
Maybe you see it or feel it dampening your might
I hope not for it takes away your bright sight

Consider you see red in a darker shade
The kind given when skin meets blade
I hope not for it is no good to carry a grenade

Think now that you see only grey
A blank colorless sight hard to convey
I hope not for this color surely can slay

Look at the world and tell me
What color it is you see

Slow and steady
Now, are you ready
Take me by the hand
And we can walk the sand
Love all day and night
We fall again by the light
Each day loving more
All the way to our core
I need you so much
For breathing, living, and such
You do it all for me
I believe you are the key
We unlock the Earth
And keep lit the hearth

Calm, and solid, never a riot
Heavy like a weight on a string
Muscles slow and mind quiet
All this a little pill can bring
Soft and slow like a winter storm
Freezing over a mind and body
Altering the natural form
Changing for better or worse
That is unknown
Whether it be a blessing or curse
No matter at all ‘cause emotions are alone
Stranded, but free
Heavy weighted body, what a cure
Walking through water, maybe
Sweet, blissful relaxation for sure

You are sick
suddenly,
it hit you
like an unexpected enemy
and that's what it is
enemy
I like that word
for describing such pain caused
Attacking you
against you
trying to take you out
Enemy

love thy enemy?
God, how can I?
How can you?
What a terror
what a horrific thing to allow
I scream
in pain
how my Dad must want to scream
but he can't
for the enemy has weakened him
he has taken many blows
infirmary
doctors
tests and more tests
answers?
cures?
none.

Why Enemy? What did he do to you?
Nothing!!
he was kind to his body
so why do you attack it so
Enemy I hate you
if hate could bury you
if it could rip you out of his body
and make you ... disappear
Then hate would **** you for sure
I have enough to eradicate your tiny growth of existence
Your tiny bits causing so much despair

Enemy, I beg of you, don't take him from me

God, fight for me, I am too weak
take over, heal, destroy this terrible little vial growth
God please, I beg on my hands and knees
I plead, don't take my Daddy from me
don't ruin my heart by taking away one of the first people to love me in this world
God please, you gave him to me as Dad,
to love me like you do.
And he did, and he does, and forever will
I need his voice, his hugs, his everlasting comforting presence,
GOD!!
i scream...

Oh my sweet demon how I adore you so
We have ridden together many years
Your whispers comfort me when I’m low
You create and extinguish all my fears

You bring me the anxiety that’s grown closely
To my racing heart and dark mind
You bring me the shadows I love so dearly
Why do you have to be so sweet and kind?

I have grown up with you by my side
At first my enemy now ...  best friend
My heart is dark from where you reside
Leave! I ask, but this rule you will not bend

My sweet demon you are in my head
Taunting me and speaking sweet terrors
I cannot **** you for you sleep in my bed
You live in me because of all my errors

Demon, you bring familiarity in the night
The shadows that follow us I know too well
They are our friends too, of that I’m right
Spinning me forever, a never ending carousel

Creeping crawling
Waiting stalking...
You sit there in wait
As if a planned date

Of which, I do not know
Why are you staring little crow?
You sit and watch beating hearts
'Til the harvest starts

I almost tune out the evil laugh
That you bellow from deep within your wrath
And almost forget where you reside
That is, within me, deep inside

Your jar of souls collected slowly
You take your time being unholy
You go into hibernation away from the watchful cavists
You do not mind though, for winters calm brings great Spring harvests

You feast and feast devouring bit by bit
You take piece by piece encouraging me to submit
Fighting the pain,
Fighting in vein...

Tearing me down, nonstop
As if I your crop
Little crow caws in joyous evil song
Release me from your grasp, I beg all night long

You come and go
And reap what I sow
Taking my strength and will to fight
Chomping down into flesh throughout the night

Released once more, you hide away again
I almost forget, but you have written it in permanent pen
You wrote "Never forget, sweet child, I am you keeper.
Sincerely,
The Soul Reaper."

My momma taught me to be early at the airport
She taught me how to prepare for court
How to dress for an interview
And to pay bills before they’re due
I learned a lot from her
The list goes on for sure
How to throw a punch
And to always pack a lunch
Organize and keep your stuff clean
Carry with you anything you might need
My momma taught me to have passion
Also when to fold and cash in
Good things here and there
Small bits when she was able to care
Most importantly though
I learned emotions not to show
How to care for a grown adult
And how to hide emotional assault
How to duck under an object thrown
I learned to grow up on my own
She taught me much and taught me well
How to let go of heaven and live in hell
To follow all her commands
To believe her words and mental scams
My momma taught me to go numb
God forbid I let my anger come
I had to let words fly by and disappear
Bite my tongue and always stay clear
Of the things thrown or words yelled
I couldn’t be me so my feelings I shelled
Closed up and shut down, I bow
My momma taught me how

I am grateful for what I’ve learned
To let go of everything I yearned
Nothing for me, myself, or I
I crave attention now, I wonder why?
I am searching to be a Queen
Not to rule, I just want to be seen
Look at me and what I can do
See me, hear me and I’ll show you
What I know and how I learned
Understand me for I have yearned
To be supported and guided through
If only back then a way out I knew
If only I had gotten out before
A successful life I could adore
A peaceful mind without scare
I could actually feel and care
Instead I am numb and closed down
I am being held until I drowne
Suffocated by my past
Pain that continues to last
Through adulthood and life
It affects me now a mom and wife
I am broken because of you
Because of everything I learned to do
I had to let words fly by and disappear
Bite my tongue and always stay clear
Of the things thrown or words yelled
I couldn’t be me so my feelings I shelled
Closed up and shut down, I bow
Because my momma taught me how