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Dec 2019 · 81
Heavy Love
Dani Dec 2019
There's this weight I carry
It's heavy and exhausting
It's beautiful, and quite daring

It yanks me down more times than I can count
Squeezes, punches, and pushes every last nerve
But it's perfect on every account

It's the hardest, most difficult weight I've ever carried
Full of kicks and screams and fits
But it's something I refuse to burry

I could walk away and live a different life
I could be weightless and free
But this weight is worth more than my own life

So I will pull it up over ranges of mountains
I will piggy back it over every raging sea
And if anyone tries to harm it, I would **** thousands

It's the most precious cargo I could ever own
It's the only I can ever have
So I choose to carry it and to never be alone

For its weight brings me great joy
And the warmth is overwhelming
So I hold tight and hold strong and enjoy

For the terrain will mellow down
And it will not always be this heavy
So this weight I hold with love, and in it I drowne.
Single Parenthood.
Nov 2019 · 57
Red hot fire cracker
Dani Nov 2019
I could scream at you
I could punch you
But no good would it do
For neither me or you

Although my anger is still hot
I'm cooling it down with the breath I've caught
Nov 2019 · 72
Johnny Walker Blue Man
Dani Nov 2019
Hey there Jack, Pat, Jameson, whatever your name is
I'll shoot ya down shot-by-shot, I'll take that hit
All these boys,
I'll shoot ya down like a burning fire
'Cause I need me a Johnny Walker Blue type of man

Something worth swirling slowly
Worth pressing to my lips
Taking slow sips
With the music loud
Dancing around

I don't need me a Jack, Pat, Jameson type of boy anymore
I'll just shoot ya down, shot-by-shot, shoot ya down
I'm here for my Johnny Walker Blue man!

I might get fancy, and even dancy
Off your cheap shot
I'll feel the fire burning
My head swirling
Still, though, something is missing
I'm really just here searching...
For my Johnny Walker Blue man!
top shelf
Oct 2019 · 120
Clean of you
Dani Oct 2019
It was the longest cigarette she had ever smoked. The most toxic, clouded, cough filled puff of nicotine she ever inhaled. It disappeared eventually, with the wind as she let out the long awaited final drag. The sun touched her skin for the first time in years. The flowers bloomed and the crisp clean mountain air filled her lungs as she walked away. The burnt bud flicked from her hand, stomped on with her foot. A breeze blowing away the cloud of smog, she finally felt clean.
Cleansing myself of your hatred and anger that I let cloud my mind for so long.
Oct 2019 · 436
Here we go again....
Dani Oct 2019
How can this be
Is it just who I am, is it me?
How can this be?

Questions are lined up
Spinning my head around
Answers nowhere to be found

How do I still crave
To walk into the oldest of caves
The one that whispers inside

How do I still want more
When I have everything I could possibly adore
How and why? Is this just a part of my core?

Wild and free ain't all it sounds to be
I don't want wild, I just want set free
From this taunting voice inside of me

Begging to be fed
And I want it as heavy as lead
But I hide it under the bed

Should I indulge again
Or, sweep it under the rug
Head up, eyes forward
Don't move, stand strong
Hold on to what you have

But the silence is so loud
My heart can't be proud

Turn it off turn it off
Make it stop calling out to me

How can it be?
That I still crave
What lies within that cave
Oct 2019 · 272
Back to Innocence?
Dani Oct 2019
It is when you are corrupted that it is most difficult to go back, but falling out of innocence is easy. It's as if you could laugh you way from sweet to greed. Just step on down to the *****, wet ground. When your knees hit the floor and you want to stand back up, that will be the moment you realize just how hard it is to climb out. Climb out of the mud that coats your body. The mud that you dismissed as it filled your lungs and spewed from your mouth with every word you spoke. It felt good and easy sliding down into a puddle of muck. Now try to stand up. Try to wipe your greed soaked clothes dry. It's difficult coming back to innocence when you fall so deep into ignorance.
Dani Oct 2019
I know what you did to her
I know she agreed to have *** with you
But she didn't agree to that part
you held her down and came inside
She told you not to she told you not to
You did it anyways
You apologized
but you did it again and
You apologized but you did it again
do you even feel bad
do you even care
That you broke her trust
Disrespected her
She told you she didn't want a baby
But you still did
She told you and..
You didn't listen
You tried anyways and you hurt her
Caused her pain
You apologized but you did it again
Apologized and apologized
But that doesn't fix what you've done and...

I know what you did to her
it's something that can never be undone
Did you think your reasoning were better
Than what she wanted
You wanted a baby she told you she didn't
Yet you held her down and you came inside her
Because your wants are bigger than hers
Did it make you feel powerful
Did it make you feel in control
Did it make you feel better.
I hope it made you feel worse
Worse than she felt when she was curled up on the bed crying
**** is simple, yet so very complicated...
Oct 2019 · 90
Anger bleed away.
Dani Oct 2019
I could scream at you
I could punch you
But no good would it do
For either me or you

Although my anger is still hot
I'm cooling it down with the breath I've caught
Oct 2019 · 109
See me!!
Dani Oct 2019
Do you see her? She is here
Smiling and bright
She don’t mind if you stare
Limelight? She loves it alright!

She joins in any conversation
Just for some needed attention
Social butterfly
But, she asks herself why?

What do these things bring her
The whispers as she leaves
Wondering, are they about her?
As she looks around she doesn’t see
That her impulse to attract
Is pushing her walls away
Farther from reach, with no chance to attack
Growing higher keeping her emotions at bay

Is this who she is?
Let’s walk down memory lane
90 miles per hour, she runs the beaches
She only ever ended up hurt and withering away
Joining in every circle, not missing a beat
Saying the next best thing
For attention or respect, but she’s unsure in her seat
Trying to be only what she can bring

Because God-forbid she not be on top
Admired and revered! Farming her crop
Winning every battle
As if an endless candle
Burning but never ending the day
Wonder if she’ll ever wither away

She is lost, I guess that’s the truth
Wishing to go back to her youth
To start over and begin anew
But she’s made her mess and must pay her dues
For those moments of insecurity...
Jun 2019 · 87
I found my soul!
Dani Jun 2019
I found it, I finally found it!
It was hidden deep down,
Covered in layers by a mighty frown.
Freedom from your control and your anger
Has made me a better stranger!
Dancing in the streets
Loving in the sheets!
What bliss it is
To find this!

I was drowning for so long,
Grasping at any emotional song.
Just to feel something,
To know happiness or pain, anything!
I tell you know, I sing with joy,
I am free to kiss a girl or boy.
Does it really matter which?
Now that I have escaped your grasp, *****!

I found it!, I searched so long for it!
My SOUL if free
My very inner-core is happy!

I lost my soul somewhere along the road
But now I do not allow a touch by hands so cold.
I know better, and I learned.
For so long I had yearned,
To bring to life the adventurous me.
Now here I dance, and sing,
Here I raise my glass to the happy and free!
See "I Lost My Soul"
Mar 2019 · 212
I lost my soul
Dani Mar 2019
I lost my soul
Somewhere along the road
I cannot tell you if it was stolen
Or misplaced, I have forgotten

I used to run
I carried with me tons of fun
It resided within my heart
Gone forever, or just broken apart?

I was energetic
And positive with a personality magnetic
Where did it go
I ask myself, but I do not know

I lost myself
Somewhere I’m boxed up on a shelf
Hidden by fear and stress
Emotions in a box, I’m expressionless

I lost my soul
It started many years ago
Slowly and steadily stripped away
Because I gave myself away
Never again will I let someone tare down my soul...
Feb 2019 · 623
GOODBYE to you!
Dani Feb 2019
If only you knew
What I really thought of you
My knight in shining armor
But now you just devour
It is like you eat my soul
******* the life as we go

Maybe you don’t realize
That you have left me paralyzed
Not by love, or infatuation
But by a soul disruption
Leaving me numb and blue
Suffocating, If only you knew

Do you see what you are doing?
Do you know where we are going?
Because I screamed it out nice and loud
I stand alone, but I’m going to find my crowd

Because you refused to let our souls live
We will wither away, nothing to give
I AM TELLING YOU I AM DYING
Do you hear me screaming?
I tried, but soon they’ll say “she died
Suffocated by a soulless life
So sad, she should have tried
Could have been so much more
Than a ‘perfect wife’" .. that's for sure

Do you see me now?
HERE I AM, I bow
Not in submission, NO
But to signal a dramatic completion
Of a play that is too long for the screens
A sad, sad play full of numb and blank scenes
You see, I am ending it now
so we can take our bow

You may choose to stand on stage for the end of time
But I will build my own Moulin Rouge with a bright sign
I will live life, and enjoy my ride
Goodbye goodbye, I officially resign
Feb 2019 · 470
Shh.. Don't Tell!
Dani Feb 2019
Sh.. Don’t tell him, but I have a secret
He doesn’t know yet...
I have to go, or i’ll have more and more regret
It’s a big one… it’ll cause a lot of pain, I bet

I am leaving him, don’t you know?
For a woman, he doesn’t even know
She is pretty, most days I like her
She recently found herself, suddenly so sure

***** blonde hair, that rests at her neck
Bright green eyes, and .. give me a sec…
There’s more.
She is strong - a quality I adore

Her walk is purposeful
Her talk is straightforward and meaningful
She is ***** minded and a little bit odd
She is a pink salmon in a river of cod

Standing out from the crowd you see
She is a wild spirit that just got set free
I love her, like I never have before
A new found trust in her very core

I tell you this, because I had to hear it
I don’t know how he will bare it
When I tell him I have to go
To be with this woman I found when I was low

The biggest secret is yet to be told you see
Because the woman I need to be with,          is me.
I found strength in myself finally
He tried to put me through a refinery

But I dug deep, with no time to weep
I clung to my spirit in hopes to keep
The happy and adventurous me
So here I go, I am finally free
He doesn't know yet. He doesn't know yet. I am almost FREE!
Feb 2019 · 108
Deer in The Headlights
Dani Feb 2019
You drew me in, in that special way you do
Pulled into your space without resistance
A deer in headlights in total awe of you
Frozen and nervous, between us there is zero distance

Crashed into each other slowly like waves in the ocean
Beautiful and harsh, full of passion
Water to sand, meshing together in slow motion
Fierce with lust, and an undeniable connection

The sweet taste of your lips on mine
Makes butterflies swarm my whole body
Please, I beg cross the line
We don’t mind being a little bit naughty

So to you I raise my glass
Cheers for bringing me intoxication
A toast for every slap of my ***
A smile, for every bit of our infatuation
Jan 2019 · 855
Devour
Dani Jan 2019
A land only nature has touched
A lion to its prey, clutched
Before that though
The Lion crept up real slow
Crouched down real low
He puts on a good show
Creeping and crawling
Absolutely stalking
His ***** orange coloring
Unseen by a prey so alluring
His big tufted paws are like a quiet breeze
Unheard by a prey totally at ease
His eyes focus, like a morning lotus
Finding the sun with such slowness
Silently stalking towards prey, not yet ferocious
A gleaming meaty meal ready to devour
Just another moment and little prey will cower
First a pounce with claws drawn out
Then a bite and a shake, making the prey shout
Now a *****!
Chewing prey up before its deceased
Drug across the land only nature has touched
A lion has won it’s hunt, quiet now, be hushed
Can you hear nature sing, the way she does
With violence and beauty no matter if lion or cheetahs
Now humans are different! Or is it really so?
The desire the same as a beasts hunt, reaping what we sow
A need to ***** and overpower
A craving to devour
devouring our lust driven, instinctual driven desires...
Jan 2019 · 814
Clarity ...
Dani Jan 2019
It sure is such a rarity
To have any kind of clarity
In this pall we’re covered with - no verity
Grey is not lit with any prosperity
Only shroud covered lands all in a form of familiarity
Knowing what is covered, but cannot see it’s true identity
Shadows cast through the day of skies so cloudy
A wet mist reminds - there is no remedy
Sunshine does not peek or wink through an atmosphere so gloomy
Dark grey grows over the land walked by one in singularity
Unfortunately, having clarity is such a rarity, a sad insincerity..
When the day is gloomy, depressed, and/or down feeling. When you feel that the world about you is so far away from any of your senses....
Jan 2019 · 1.1k
Baby Turtle
Dani Jan 2019
A walk on the beach, calm and content
A slow stride with intent
Directions are clearly written
For the water tempts with graceful position
"Come to me, and take a swim
I will shelter you, please come on in
Little green speckled walker
I, the Ocean, call you son and daughter."
With a joyous pitter
And an excited patter
Water to toes,
Then feet, legs, and tummy, all the way to little turtle’s nose.
Protection and freedom within the ocean
A soft sweet lullaby motion
Turtle
Jan 2019 · 1.5k
My keeper
Dani Jan 2019
Creeping crawling
Waiting stalking...
You sit there in wait
As if a planned date

Of which, I do not know
Why are you staring little crow?
You sit and watch beating hearts
'Til the harvest starts

I almost tune out the evil laugh
That you bellow from deep within your wrath
And almost forget where you reside
That is, within me, deep inside

Your jar of souls collected slowly
You take your time being unholy
You go into hibernation away from the watchful cavists
You do not mind though, for winters calm brings great Spring harvests

You feast and feast devouring bit by bit
You take piece by piece encouraging me to submit
Fighting the pain,
Fighting in vein...

Tearing me down, nonstop
As if I your crop
Little crow caws in joyous evil song
Release me from your grasp, I beg all night long

You come and go
And reap what I sow
Taking my strength and will to fight
Chomping down into flesh throughout the night

Released once more, you hide away again
I almost forget, but you have written it in permanent pen
You wrote "Never forget, sweet child, I am you keeper.
Sincerely,
The Soul Reaper."
Cavist: A hawk which is of proper age and training to be carried on the hand; a hawk in its first year.
A symbol of strength and protection for me.
Jan 2019 · 423
Our World...
Dani Jan 2019
This is not a request
It is a demand for the best
Sent on a quest
To find the passion between my *******

Do not quit
Nor throw a fit
My desires remain unsplit
Here I am with all my wit

There I go
With passion in tow
Running like I did years ago
Here I go quickly, although

Awoken by reality’s lewdness
What a serious crudeness
Why does reality have such rudeness
Leaving me with nothing, but nudeness

Naked and confused by reality
The truly cruel world of fatality
Designed to live to die, another mortality
We live without living, Is this really our mentality?

Something needs to budge
So don’t look back holding a grudge
Put our world on trial with a ruthless judge
We need reconstruction here to rid the sludge

Let it out, all that is wrong
Speak it loudly, this may be long
A trial of the world just chugging along
Not noticing we lost all that is strong
Eat, sleep, work, repeat..... WE AREN'T "LIVING"
Dec 2018 · 227
Untitled
Dani Dec 2018
Pretend not to be
The mask you acquire
Stand up against currents
Ripping at skin
Filleting fish, STAND
A requisite, no deficit
For this terror we hide
Do not abide
Pretend not to be
What we cannot be
Dec 2018 · 2.2k
Struggling
Dani Dec 2018
Addicted, I joke of my obsession
Obsessed? I laugh at it’s truth
Live life, move on, go on
It will come around, I know
One day this building will fall on top of me
Crumbling me under the rocks
But I am addicted to whats inside
I cannot let it go
The smell, the taste, the feel
Most of all.. The adrenaline.
It hits and holds, like a drug better than any other
No need for pills or syringes.
No smoke or bowl to pack
Just a mental addiction for physical pleasure
I cannot stop, I cannot stop, I cannot let go
I cannot stop
Dec 2018 · 212
Our Path is Mist
Dani Dec 2018
Mist lay before you covering lands
Careful steps now, feel around with hands
Nothing seen but what's at your feet
Go slow and steady, for mist carries deceit
Don’t be fooled
let your curiosity be cooled
One step at a time do not look ahead
Or underground will be your newfound bed
Don’t try to clear the mist with magic tricks
What lies before you is set in stone not sticks
Cannot be changed or foreseen or broken
Just walk the path at your feet one step for a token
Reward for staring down, focused on where you step
Reward for moving forward, without a tricky attempt
Present is your only state
Mind it carefully for a clean slate
future, past, present
Dec 2018 · 971
Deer in headlights
Dani Dec 2018
You drew me in, in that special way you do
Pulled into your space without resistance
A deer in headlights in total awe of you
Frozen and nervous, between us there is zero distance
Crashed into each other slowly like waves in the ocean
Beautiful and harsh, full of passion
Water to sand, meshing together in slow motion
Fierce with lust, and an undeniable connection
The sweet taste of your lips on mine
Makes butterflies swarm my whole body
Hidden nerves, corner kisses, crossing the line
We don’t mind, and it’s fun being naughty

So to you I raise my glass
Cheers for bringing me intoxication
A toast for every slap of my ***
A smile, for every bit of our infatuation
Dec 2018 · 364
Brewing pot
Dani Dec 2018
Quickly it brewed
Slowly it cooled
A love with passion
Full of compassion
Died out in the way
Hot water steams away
Dani Dec 2018
Guilt or greed
Neither do you need.
Hatred or fear
Don’t even dare.
It is like dusting dirt on a windy day.
Try to deny it, but what can you say?
Would you dial a phone not in service? What ample sound.
It’s like climbing down a ladder that doesn’t touch the ground,
Asking a question without waiting an answer, just demanded.
It is a dying wish never granted!
Why bait a hook without throwing a line?
Fighting a fight only to drop the knife and resign.
Cooking a meal just to let it mold.
It is giving up your passion, this is truth, behold!!
Guilt or greed, neither do you need!
Hatred or fear, don’t even dare!
Let go, move forward. BE POSITIVE!
Dec 2018 · 3.5k
Her . . .
Dani Dec 2018
She moved towards me like silk moves in a breeze. Her glow was soft, yet strikingly strong. Eyes brown and big like an oak tree in summer with rays of golden sun stung throughout. She moved as if an angel slowly awakening inside her. Her long brunette hair shimmered as it gracefully fell along her shoulders resting upon her *******. I would call her body smooth like softly blown waves in the sea, but no justice would it give to her. Her smile could make any woman stop in her tracks, just to appreciate the glorious happiness it brings. Her laugh brings joy like the peace nature brings in solitude. A total eclipse of winters cold, only allowing warm spring and summer. Hips a sailboat rocked by a beat only she could know. Sweet kisses with lips that taste like the most perfectly ripe fruit. Her hands touch as water does; politely gracing your skin and leaving you with droplets slowly fading. Her glance love-filled as a lover of many years might look at you. She is beauty from the inside out; she is graceful with every step; she is everything I want, and so much more.
Dec 2018 · 159
Medicine
Dani Dec 2018
Calm, and solid, never a riot
Heavy like a weight on a string
Muscles slow and mind quiet
All this a little pill can bring
Soft and slow like a winter storm
Freezing over a mind and body
Altering the natural form
Changing for better or worse
That is unknown
Whether it be a blessing or curse
No matter at all ‘cause emotions are alone
Stranded, but free
Heavy weighted body, what a cure
Walking through water, maybe
Sweet, blissful relaxation for sure
Written while trying a new medication to attempt to bring the physical symptoms of anxiety down. Amazing for a short while... but anxiety always returns.
Dec 2018 · 1.3k
River of fears
Dani Dec 2018
Take me down to the river to scream
Where the fish are alive in the stream
Where the heart can loudly beat
There we are safe to take a seat
Resting our feet from the fire
We can clearly see our true desire
Let our screams cover it all in black
Do not hold anything back
We used to have silly little fears
But now we face true worldly scares
In a river with only so much water
Let us fill it with the fears we slaughter
In a storm or current that sweep us up
Screaming on to fill and fill, now keep it up
Let it out and release your cares
Let it out so we forget our fears
Move on and enjoy the sweet rush of water
As if nature our mother and we her daughter
My best friend and I used to visit the river bed often.. To find peace, or enjoy nature, so scream when we had to. It would erase everything when we needed it to.
Dec 2018 · 257
Deep Dark Water
Dani Dec 2018
Surfing black waves
Diving deep within unknown caves
Going without knowing a destination
What infatuation
Dark waters covering sight
Seaweeds tickling feet
Temping to pull under what might dare to enter their space

No skies above or light seen
Sounds muffled under deep green color
The feeling of floating and sinking combined
One single lonely feeling that almost died
Forever it lives on as the moon moves the tide
Ever-changing but never fleeting inside

Terminal depths and loved kept
Hidden are those who understand the scene
Displayed before your eyes above, although unseen
Surf the blackness of waves never failing gratification
Dive into the depths without knowing destination
Allow weeds that tickle your feet to pull you under, they tempt
Swallow the deep green waters of a bay where others are exempt
We all have that special scene for our individual loneliness. Almost peaceful, maybe a solitude, lonely, but our own space we sadly learn to recognize...
Dec 2018 · 678
Dear Poet,
Dani Dec 2018
Dissect me, tear me apart, take what you please and turn me to art. Poet, poet mind, poet soul. Write me like one of your poems old. My eyes green and my soul - a rainbow dull. Piece me together with words that flow. Break me apart to describe me as I grow. I want to see what others do. I want to read the thoughts of you. Poet, Dear Poet, write me please. What I ask is not a simple act; I know it won’t come with ease.

Sincerely,
Me
Dec 2018 · 321
Amen
Dani Dec 2018
It’s the rare, true, and scariest goal
To find someone to love your soul
Love my soul
Nov 2018 · 364
Look at the world...
Dani Nov 2018
What, to you, is seen
Maybe you are soaking in the color green
I hope not for your soul wouldn’t be clean

Perhaps blue the one carried throughout night
Maybe you see it or feel it dampening your might
I hope not for it takes away your bright sight

Consider you see red in a darker shade
The kind given when skin meets blade
I hope not for it is no good to carry a grenade

Think now that you see only grey
A blank colorless sight hard to convey
I hope not for this color surely can slay

Look at the world and tell me
What color it is you see
Inspired by emotions connected to colors.
green = jealousy
dark blue = depression
red = anger
grey = anxiety
Nov 2018 · 263
Bedrocks
Dani Nov 2018
Whiteboard and students, classroom with desks
Who knew, here could be something so grotesque
Lit up bright, full of supplies
Art and math, science goggles to protect your eyes
Who knew this is where fear could live
Shouldn’t it be a laugh and a love note to give
Wouldn’t it be nice if this was a sacred place
Could you imagine if schools were all safe
Instead of brightly lit fluorescent lights  
We see gun fire in the halls and fist fights
Worst of all we see children dead
In the ground we put to rest their head
Bully killed bully, maybe it was someone mean
Becoming the bully is worse! LISTEN to me this is keen
Love your neighbors, love your friends
End this hatred, or it will be all our ends
Speak love or do not speak at all
Believe in yourself, and believe in others …
That is all
. . .
No!! There is so much more to be said
This isn’t working, our kids still wind up dead
What needs to change, what can be done
To love your daughter and son?
Yes of course, love is important
But we need change, can we be absorbent?
To soak up our mistakes and our flaws
Turn it around look at what's wrong, take pause
Address the real issues, we don’t need more pep talks
We need a reconstruction, all the way down to the bed rocks
Nov 2018 · 172
Ivy - September 2011
Dani Nov 2018
Our lives are like living ivy, crawling with our growth of knowledge, growing with our experiences of storm and sunshine. We cling to the foundation of limitless direction, finding nothing but room to grow wherever we please, and finding that as life goes on, so do our branches and winding vines with leaves of new growth as we shed away the past; the growth of old now just a memory, the experiences of good and bad, lost or found hope in the fence we are twined in, or a tear of happiness as the last leaf falls to the ground.
Be proud of your ivy, the leaves that fall will leave an imprint forever, and the leaves to grow will flourish with every storm. When the sun shines bright soak up it's warmth and greatness, for you need it, you have to have it. When the sky rains down on you as hard as rocks, listen and watch. Even if your life seems troubled in the storm, your roots will drink from the left over water in the calm of the storm, and you will be stronger.
Nov 2018 · 148
A Spontaneous Write
Dani Nov 2018
Incoherently decreasing my voice ...
                             Spinning?                       Spiraling?

                                       Absolutely falling!!
In love? Or into darkness?
                                                What is this called?

            I AM FLYING!!

Oh, what a sharpness...
                                          To find out you are falling.

Whispers slowly growing
                                               Shadows casting.

A dark world turned black ...
                                               Falling still?
                                                                   No I think I am flying!?
Up above ... I swear it!

I must be lifting higher!
                                          Or am I just ... falling too fast?

I do not know what I cannot understand.

What a terror
                         Oh the despair

Screams envelope the blackness
                                                          Beauty glides along my veins

                                                     Blood
                                   Flowing up from my body

                 Amazing trickles of red dots moving above

                                  How can I stop, catch myself?
Where is love?
Spontaneous write. Just spilled out. I couldn't bring myself to edit it as I want to do too many things. Maybe one day I can elaborate, but right now I don't even understand it.. This work.. just is what is is.
Nov 2018 · 193
I won't forget
Dani Nov 2018
Another day put at bay
Set aside, I must abide
And move on, you are gone
Forget you not, for I ought
To ‘member your smell, familiar and well
Another day counted away
Without you here, I solemnly swear
To never let go of your memory and so
I send up stairs many a prayers
Hoping you read these, for it is no ease
To write in such emotion, an internal commotion
So much love you gave out, I wish I had the lay out
To find it again, something now foreign
A love so strong now gone, I won't move on
Remembering you so, I won’t let go
Read in heaven words of love, soaring so high above
I’ll see you soon but not right now, so for your love I’ll give a great bow
My grandpa helped raise me. He passed Thanksgiving night 2011. What a wonderful man full of a great love.
Nov 2018 · 227
Lion Lion in Despair
Dani Nov 2018
Lion, Lion, Roaring loud
Wrapped his loved in shroud
With a crack in silence in the crowd
Hear the desperation he has vowed

Loss is stuck in perpetuation
Love gone, he suffers starvation
And it carries throughout all of creation
Come now, watch his imagination

Lion, Lion, crying despair
Listen and you will hear
The loved-ones voices he must bare
Listening with hope and begging in prayer
Nov 2018 · 367
Her Favorite Things!
Dani Nov 2018
A skippity hop and muddy socks
Sail boats and rain coats
Semis and dump trucks
Bubble baths with ducks
Throwing a ball I love it all!!
***** feet and a sweet treat
Firefighters and quad riders
Lights and sirens and jolly lions
Puppy heroes and horses with wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Written for my almost 3 year old daughter. Her favorite things! She has a firetruck and says "I am a firewoman!" Paw Patrol and My Little pony are the last few references there. She is my whole world!
Nov 2018 · 1.5k
My soul is crying out!!
Dani Nov 2018
No song explains it, no poems I’ve read
So I guess I must write one, to express what’s dead
He loves me, I am sure
But my soul does he adore?
He loves me as we are supposed to
The way they tell you when you say “I do”
Here is the thing though, I must express
We have fallen way too far, the subject I must press
A marriage once made for love has changed
Now a business partnership, tasks exchanged
I know between us love is there
But it’s a chore now, what despair
“I cannot live without you.”
He says to me, but “I can’t live with you.”
I scream in my head
My soul almost dead
I do not blame you, or who you are
I blame us both, for driving this far
I must confess I wish we could…
But we cannot, it’s no longer any good
We deserve better, we deserve love
Not the kind that we have, as it’s fading
But the kind with clear cut passion, no shading
It’s the rare, true, and scariest goal
To find someone to love your soul
My heart sings for you, and what we built
My soul cries out to me, filled with guilt
For I have neglected it’s thirst for a drink
You see, that is more important, I think
To follow your soul, fill it with its desires
To explore and find adventures, until it expires
I cannot miss out on another cry
For my soul needs fed or it will die
I tried to express, what I now confess
I tried to express, I even gave you my compass
Maybe you have a different map
Is it worth it to try? Or is it a trap?
I must go now, as my soul has a call
To live life, and experience it all!
My soul is suffocating. I desire adventures and excitement. I want to live and love life. I am held back tremendously. My soul is withering away slowly..
Nov 2018 · 671
Drips from my fingertips...
Dani Nov 2018
Water on my fingertips
Slowly it drips
Like watching leaves turn color
In the Autumn skies allure
Drops on the floor
Never as they once were before
Dripping from me, I wait
For time to pass, so innate
As ticks tocks and water drops
Play a familiar harmony
Heart pounding adds to the symphony
Like how the ocean sang and danced
As waves crash over the wet sand
Or the way birds chipped with buzzing bees
As the wind rustled the feathers of a thousand trees
Understand this beauty, holy matrimony
It is a perfect harmony
Hold on to the lyrics sung in the skies above
Listen and hold the music of truelove
Water drips from my fingertips
And all I do is watch it fall as my heart skips
For nature’s beautiful music is hidden
Taken from me as if I am forbidden
Forbidden to love or feel the peace given
It’s return I await, then all can be forgiven
Inspired by the memories of a river bed I used to visit often. I spent much of my time there listening to the music nature would create. I miss it very much. Now my life is too busy to enjoy much of anything.
Nov 2018 · 255
The Time Dance
Dani Nov 2018
We wait and watch
A digital wall or wrist-watch
The ticks and tocks
Of the never ending clocks
Continuing night to dawn
It goes on and on
Never does it consider our mood
It is a date or something we elude
A specific dot to take our stance
We sit, we wait, we do the time dance
It goes on and on
One day it’ll be all gone
Nov 2018 · 717
Secrets I keep
Dani Nov 2018
If I could tell you what I really think
Would you take a drink?
Of my thoughts and passion
Could you have compassion?
If only you knew what went on in here
My head is spinning, I have to go, but where?
Where to or where form am I running?
This event won't stop it keeps returning
This is never ending, am I misbehaving?
I am stuck in a cyclone full of this craving
How to get out, I do not know
Maybe I can stay, and reap what I sow
My thoughts are a mess! maybe only to you?
Because I know what I’d like to do
Is it worth the judgement or deceit?
Can I hid it away, under my bed sheet
Where only I can see the truth at my feet?
If it could stay there, forever hidden and complete
Then I would indulge in the thoughts you cannot hear
The ones deep within me I know you cannot bare
It makes sense to me, I understand it now
All the questions you have, what why, and how?
I don’t want to answer, you will not understand
How I crave what I do! Or where I stand
We all have secrets, yes you too!
Ones that hurt people if only they knew
So do I tell you the thoughts that I think
Would you really like to take a drink?
Nov 2018 · 4.2k
I need to moan. **EXPLICIT**
Dani Nov 2018
I crave
A touch
Not soft or gentle

I crave
A lust
So instrumental

I beg
For you
To grab me roughly

I beg
For you
To touch me toughly

I thirst
In need
For someone pressed against me

I thirst
In need
For Someone to hold me

I desire
To moan
Loudly with pleasure

I desire
To moan
Loudly - uncensored

I crave, I beg, I thirst, I desire a touch, a lust-loan.
You see, I am in dire need to moan.
A never ending thirst, a never fulfilled desire. A never ending craving for more.
Nov 2018 · 185
I Know You Know The Way
Dani Nov 2018
Your heart starts out strong
A break in the chain makes it all wrong
Starts with strength and will
Ends with being helplessly ill
The road block starts with a curious glance
Too soon are you following the dance
Showing the world where you went wrong
I thought you could have been so strong
You have the will and all the power
Take what is yours and build a tower
A wall between you and a curious glance
You can always be what you once were
Strong hearted and always absolutely sure
This battle is tough and only that
A fight to **** off using a loving bat
Show the world what you are worth
You start out strong from birth
Be what you were born to be
A bird that loves back and is free
Follow the correct dance
The one you knew at first glance
Listen to what is true
You know what to do
Written 2012
For a friend who just could not see he IS better than the drugs.
Nov 2018 · 126
LISTEN!
Dani Nov 2018
My cries are unheard
I want your attention
My heart yet beats
Only for my own protection

I follow my lead
In myself I trust
Knowing I’m loved?
I still have a lust

I feel left out
I’ve been left standing
My hearts hidden
This ride is landing

Forgetting me
Better things to do
Than remembering
I do so much too

Taking care of all
Myself and everything
Money isn’t love
Nothing isn’t something

As I said I am unheard
I ask again for your attention!
Yes, my heart may beat
But it’s from my own protection
Ever felt like your soul is suffocating...?

Written in 2011-2012. Edited in 2018.
Dani Nov 2018
It is made of the finest bark
Standing between two trees
It is open and closed only in the dark
Enveloped in ivy, locked without keys

Vanishes behind rays of the sun
Following the moon so bright
Away it goes when it hears you come
Held within are secrets that make us light

Locked by your chaos heart
With just a key of silence
Opened only in the darkest part
Warriors of life protect with demilance

A door stands in the forest of life's psalm
A door dedicated to shining bright
Only seen when a heart is calm
Hidden because this door cannot stand a fight

Between two trees it stands, insides expanding
To you there is much unknown
But, the ones inside are filled with understanding
In the world behind it, goodness is shown

This may seem absurd, but just highly misunderstood
Maybe, because you have never seen
What lies behind the sturdy wood
But it's truth, I witness, is keen
Garden of Eden? Heaven? Understanding? Plato's "Allegory of the Cave"? A mix of all these..
Written in 2012. Edited in 2018. Working on another version, as I would like to perfect the flow of this poem.
Nov 2018 · 171
They
Dani Nov 2018
I don't turn my back, I stare them in the face.
They.
Like a shadow follows its host in the spotlight of the moon in the most quiet time of night.
Shadows.
Following, lurking, staring. They, the infamous they.
There is no name, there are no words known to me to tell you what they are. What they do. How they taunt me.
They stand near me, whispering, screaming, begging me to come.
I cannot run or hide for they are with me wherever I go.
In my happiness they laugh, knowing they'll tear me down, knowing it won't last.
They scream for help as if I am their savior. It makes me want to go to them, hold them like a child covered in darkness, but their blood covers me, it blinds me. Are they real?
Why do they need me? I ask why? Why did they choose me?
How can I possible join them? Can I? should I try? If I do does that make my heart dark too?
I am afraid to go to them, but they call me. They stay with me.
All my joys tainted by their shadows.
Are they a part of me? How do I cut them out of my head, out of my heart? I can't breathe, at least I don't think I can, yet I am here with air in my lungs. How do I make it stop?
How do I cut them out of myself, stop the whispers, the screams, the begging, the darkness? How do I tell someone? How do I explain this without getting put away?
Written during an anxiety attack.
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