There are sins of ømission
And there's sins of **comission

Lost nights begin when my memory slowly starts to fade,
And give way to the thoughts that my heart invades
But I can't forget the pain and realize the memories are to blame
Life has a funny way of showing you all the things you can't change
And love has a beautiful way of letting you know, you'll never be the same

Unrequited Love:*

              Life's way of saying...  

     "You can do better"

                   ❤❤❤

Why?
How can I feel this way?
I feel myself
Losing you
Pushing you away
Purposely
Like, just talking to you
Is torturing me
Yet, I need you
WHAT THE **** DO I DO?
I don't wanna hurt anymore
I want the pain to go away
I don't know what I'm living for
I don't know how I got this way
How do I say
THIS IS TOO MUCH TO TAKE
To handle
To deal with
Torn, ripped in directions
I never thought existed
Expectations
Non granted wishes
ALL FOR NOTHING
Cause I'm still broken
Not even worth fixing

But you
You're worth so much more
None of the guilt
None of the shame
Is worth anything
**** IT ALL
Just forget my name

~~~~There is turmoil in the turning,
      Breakage in the bend,
    Talks of new beginnings,
  Whispers of the end.

  Screams of silence so deafening,
    Lips that move without a sound.
      Never knowing what's happening,
        Feeling lost, fighting to be found.

        Something on the surface,
      That begs for something more.
    The meaning in the purpose,
  The dangle of the lure.

  The escaping thoughts of mind,
    Lost to the strong willed
      Caught up in the social grind,
        The way of life was once killed.

        Oh!, and ain't it a shame?
      Staying still, while life races by
    Losing this grandest of games
  Barely floating, while everyone else can fly...

  That's where some will find themselves,
    Arms down by their side.
      Standing here if nowhere else,
        This, their lot in life.

Surpassing
The heights of all before
In my eyes
You're the perfect disguise
That and so much more
In need of a queen?
I can fulfill your dreams
Every nightmare that makes you scream,
I'll help make them paralyzed
And in my eyes, you'll see the stars
Depths and universes filled with sorrow
Yet, I could fly you to Mars
And protect you from every heat of tomorrow
The pain, hurt, guilt and regret
That you feel, I'll take it away
And no matter how bad it gets
I'll do it until the sun and moon's dying day

Flying above the plain of my existence
Floating not falling
Searching for a new kind of substance
Or just another calling
Something to take me higher
Above this place you call reality
This angel in my ear is a liar
But this cloud of smoke is heavenly
Surrounding me
Taking me in under it's wing
A light dusting of white
To calm the insanity
And that's just the beginning

Inside there's a growing need
Branching out through my limbs
Starting with some stems and a seed
There's no lack of pseudonyms
Call it whatever you can think of
It takes me to that place I need to be
Maybe it's a new kind of love
Reaching unknown depths inside of me
Cascading with dreams of sanity
Planting roots in my core
It's almost calming
Knowing when I can't handle anymore
And when I wanna keep flying

If
  They
     Really
        Do
           Love
              You
            They'll
         Never
      Leave
   You

Your words are rich but your silence is golden
I've lost all faith in what humanity has spoken
You don't know this, but I was chosen
To speak out against society
and it's twisted mentality
Says one thing but means another
Karma is coming, but you'll never see her
She'll smother you with your past mistakes
Do whatever it takes to pay back the heartache
That you caused and all the hurt you dished out
Don't you see it now? There's no doubt,
You're in her sights now
She's aimed at your heart, tearing apart the pain
You claimed to have no control over
Karma's here, can't you see her?
She don't bluff, this ain't Tuesday night poker
Fold this hand, it's weighing heavy on your shoulders
Exposure to the light got you moving slower and slower
It's over, she's beat you down
Might as well leave the table,
Karma don't play around

They see all the good
    They're torn towards all the bad
             They know what's coming
   But they never look back
          To all they could have had
     They want their justice
              Yet, they leave it to the devil
        Dressed all in black
              With wilted roses
   Tattooed across their backs
           They've fallen,
    Deceived, tortured and abandoned
         Their holy calling
  There's a war raging between
            Their moral stance
       Their inner desires
                And their loyalty
         They never leave life to chance
  These Angels in black
          With wilted roses
       Tattooed across their backs,
Daggers, swords and knives
          Have red stained faces
     And hold the fate
             Of all our lives
       They can feel the shame
    Of this deadly game they play
          Yet, these Angels in black
With wilted roses
        Tattooed across their backs,
    Sacrifice everything for our souls
            Yet, a soul
   Is *all they truly lack

Love is a precarious thing
           A precious thing
When you're handed someones heart
               .......Hold it gently
Don't drop it or let it slip away
       Even when you can't love back
             For whatever reason you think
                  Care...
Care about them
      It's not too much to ask
Sometimes love is given
      With NO expectations
Simply because you're deserving
    There's nothing more to do
          Except, remember..
               Love is........
                       *A precious thing

Love
is
Powerful,
Painful
and
Unpredictable**



I love you all.

In my mind I can see the rain pouring everything it has into the ground,
I can see the sun shining with all its might onto the earth
and I can see the air breathing all its breath to help a single rose blossom and grow,
and I know that due to all these things,
bouquets of flowers are given to lovers to show their affection for one another
and each petal, no matter the color, represents all the feelings we may or may not feel
yet cannot express,
so we give each other flowers to show emotions that mean more than we can say,
just like all the things given to a seed growing in the ground every day
to prove that anything, no matter size, shape or color,
can become beautiful enough to express the one emotion that can never be explained by mere words,
yet easily expressed with a single rose.

LOVE
       is
         Like
A
       W
          A
             T
           E
         R
       F
         A
            L
          L

       The longer
          It is
      The harder
         It crashes

      The stronger
         It is
            The
               Faster it
          F
            A
          L
             L
                 S

        The *deeper
          It is
            The *longer
        It takes
             To
            *Get
          Out

Lost
Feeling lost in the depths of your mind
Can't find a way out of the maze
In a haze and dazed
People say
"She's just going through a phase"
But it's deep
In your soul
You can't sleep or eat
You don't wanna exist anymore
Until you find a way to pick yourself up off the floor
Sometimes it's a friend,
Bended down on one knee
Saying
"Get up now, time to follow my lead"
It's hard to believe,
You don't even wanna try
But a lovers smile
Or a friends embrace...
Sometimes that's all it takes
Just tell yourself
"I'm not living on the ground anymore"
Get off the floor,  
It's gonna be better than before
Find what needs to be found
Turn your life around
There's people worth living for
I promise...  
"There's happiness out there"
You just gotta believe
Come on now
Follow my lead
I'll help you get where you're going
I'm here, bended on one knee
"Take my hand, I'll guide you through"
I'm here to help you
This is time for discovery,
Believe in me
It's never too late for recovery
"Just follow me back to reality*"

Sometimes, you haunt my dreams
I wake up, barely able to breathe
Maybe that's why I find it so hard to sleep
I can't help but keep the door locked
It's like I'm being mocked
Your shadow is stalking my routine
Every daily thing holds some bad memory
I really just wish you'd die in that cell
After everything you did to me
You deserve to go to Hell

I believe my soul is rotten
Yet you say it is not

I see my face, it's so ugly
Yet you say I'm pretty

I think my body is destroyed
Yet you say I've earned my stripes

I know my heart is beyond repair
Yet you say you'll help mend it

Can you really see so deep into my eyes?
Into my soul?
My heart?
Sometimes I think you're blind
Because everything about me is *torn all apart

She was dark, drowning in her thoughts
Couldn't find her way to what she lost
She was damaged, scarred from heart to soul
Too bruised to remember what made her whole
She was in pain, constantly fighting back tears
But never brave enough to fight her fears

He was young and stupid--a ******* at heart;
a self-loathing so strong it tore him asunder
The things he needed always fell apart;
the things he wanted, denied, leaving his heart to hunger

She was a dreamer until life gave up on her
Too many demons to battle but she wasn't a fighter
She made wishes on falling stars and smoldering skies
But she was cursed, the heavens told her lies
She was dead inside, yet living within the crowd
Her screams for help were never heard, but still so loud

He was **** outta luck: the world fresh outta *****
Heart and soul burning--the proverbial candle ,
and it's it only a matter of time before Xanax
fails to give him a reason to even get up
It's hard, it's Hell--it's too much to handle,
but he's too paranoid to even panic

She's too scared to think of how few people care
Never opens her heart, she wouldn't dare
Confiding in the voices only she can hear
Believing the ***** no one gives, outta fear
She's dangerous, made too many mistakes
It's all her fault she knows nothing but heartache

He's alone, he's paranoid; a self-fulfilling prophecy
teetering on the edge of extinction
A dying breed bastardized by blood and water alike
How can he be saved when acceptance Id heresy?
They all think he's just pining for the next reason
to say, "No more beginnings," and end his life

She's lost her will, her strength to survive
Nothing's figured out, no reason to be alive
Balancing her life on the edge of a blade
She gets cut, no matter which side she takes
Holding tightly to the sharp point of reality
She's lost focus, just walking through life blindly

He's a sympathetic tool playing by apathetic rules;
it's only a matter of time before he knuckles down
No more bitter Mondays--out comes the Saturday Night Special
He's living on borrowed time; it's time to pay the dues
When you tread a fine line, you slowly come unwound
come the realization both sides of the tightrope take you straight to Hell

Staring at these pixels,
words
       and images
            On my screen

It's cracked now
       Just a little damaged
     Been that way for a while
Kinda like my heart
But I continue to read and write
        All day long
Waiting to see your smile
Waiting to get that one message...
      
         I love you

It will come
      Like your words always do
I may have to wait
    Waiting...
        Waiting......
Oh! How much I hate to wait!
I know I'll get the message
    Soon enough
Until then I'll wear this smile
      Staying strong
          Acting tough
My particular favorite is...  

Hey babe, how's your day?
        I know it's been awhile
            But can I please
                Just see you smile?

Cause you know how I love to rhyme,
    And although you're not a poet
        You still try and that's more than fine!
Cause then you say...

I'm a poet and didn't know it!

Every time!

Staring at this cracked screen
   Is what gets me through my day
    Just like fixing
        My cracked heart
Is what gets you through
    You don't have to wait very long
        To see

*I love you too.

Bye bye Boy, I'm done with regret
I know we haven't even met
But I'm turning a new leaf
And you best believe
This is gonna be a brand new beginning
A new way to experience my poetry

Hello Girl, hey, where you goin?
Walkin off like she thinks she's Lindsay Lohan
I ain't done yet! And you can bet
You don't wanna turn that new leaf
Without me
Cuz time is a thief
Oh YOU can walk off, stomp off and cuss
But all you REALLY wanna experience
.....Is us

Hey there little Boy,
First off..  Lindsay?
She's got nothing on me
Secondly...
Where you come off acting all cocky?
Like you actually know me
I'll walk away if I **** well please
Look at you
Smiling
Like you think I won't do it
Have you never met a poet?
I'll walk, no I'll run...  
Drip this ink I got for bullets
Out of my gun
On this page
Just for fun

Hold up, now anybody could see
That even YOU had enough
Sense to spell Boy
With a BIG B
And I DO know YOU
And you CAN walk away this is TRUE
It's cool
Cuz all I'ma do
Is follow you
Follow you
Till you don't run no more
Just let me get my feet in the door
And what you got guns out for?
Girl, I'm a lover not a fighter
A man whose heart burns with desire
Stop all this walking, all this running
PLEASE sit DOWN!
How do you KNOW I don't deserve your hearts CROWN?

Fine then boy,
Maybe I just like being chased
But seriously, stop wasting my time
I run even faster when love is on the line
Love = Heartbreak
I've learned that a time or two
I'm not gonna get my self tore up
Over the likes of You
Boy...  Can't you just see
I'm through
Done with the misery
I'm not gonna sit down
I Am gonna run away
Trust me...
You don't really want me to stay
I'm gonna get out my gun,
Use the ink I have for bullets
Start writing down my misery
In tiny poetic fragments
Hoping you can't really see
All my disappointments

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry that someone,
A LOT of someones, got here before me
And they hurt you and I'm sure I don't know WHAT you've been through
But don't you at least wanna TRY?
You really gonna tell me you can't SEE that in my eyes
That PASSION, that LOVE
I always heard that love was ENOUGH
And I got your BACK on your writing
Cuz I know it EASES your pain
We'll have a lifetime together,
Hold on, let me explain
I KNOW what you WANT
What you WANT is FOREVER
And to do it like that ..
We're gonna HAVE to be clever
Sometimes the ONLY way to be BROKEN
Is
*BROKEN TOGETHER

Embarrassment soars through me
Since last night and all this lonely day
I don't wanna make you feel worse
But it's your fault,
Just cause you didn't have the nerve to say
The Truth
Yet, that's all I've ever said to you
Open and honest, straight to my core
I'm not sure I've felt this betrayed before
A best friend if there ever was,
But they say those you love can hurt you worse
Than any enemy or anyone you hate
I think I loved you first
But it don't matter now, isn't that great?

And still...

"No matter what you say or what you do, when I'm alone I'd rather be with you. **** these other ******, I'll be right by your side, till 3005."

Whether in love or simply friendship
I could never leave your side
It's crazy how much you mean to me
I'm still hurt and so very angry
I understand why you did what you've done
Doesn't mean that I think it's okay
But I'll still love and care about you
Until my dying day

Because...

"No matter what you say or what you do, when I'm alone I'd rather be with you. **** these other ******, I'll be right by your side, till 3005."

I can't hate you, even though you think you deserve it
And I can't deny that's true
But whether you like it or not
You're stuck in my heart with super glue
But seriously...
Don't ever ******* lie to me
Or keep secrets from me
I don't deserve it
Silence is better than *******...

Don't categorize yourself with someone else, don't lump yourself into a specific type. One similarity does not a commonality make. A million and one people may all have done what you've done or felt what you've felt but that does not breed you together into one common group or make their goals yours or your goals something they have any possibility of reaching. It may sound cliche but you are the only you, no one else could be you or truly understand everything you've ever felt to the core of your being since you've become you. And this you, the one you stare at every day in the mirror, is not the you you've always been and is certainly not the you you'll always be. You are continually changing and becoming more than you've ever been before. If you keep trying and doing and working towards something, anything that's better than what you are right now then you've already surpassed every category, type or group that you lumped yourself into. You are not a category. You are not what anyone else thinks you are. You are what you try to become, what you hope to become, what you've always dreamed you'd become.

Scraping away the memories
      from my brain
Scraping away the past
           that's caused me pain
Sharpening the knife
       to make it all go fast
Sharpening my senses
              so the feelings last
Wondering why the nights
         never go away
Wondering if I'll ever
          forget yesterday
Keeping my mind busy
           with all the mistakes
Keeping up with life
          through all the *heartaches

I crawl on my knees
      Down to the deepest hole
 Forgot the remnants of my heart
        In a dark, dusky winter
                  Cold
         I'll die slowly and painfully
     If you fall apart
Pour out my soul
    Never remembering me
          Ghosts of lost loves
    Wasting away
            No one's caring
Somebody unfortunate
        Lonely
            Scary
                You

I'm a passerby
     On this road of life
    Sleeping all day
        Zombie by night
  No purpose
      No reason
           No rhyme
   In this winter season
       The only thing
     I want to find
          Is a quiet
  Lonely place
To slowly waste away
        and
             **die

Tell me something about you
Something nobody else knows
Show some truths
Reveal to me your soul
Don't make it too obvious
Hide your secrets within ink
Not too long and not too short
But make me think
Make me guess
Help me to understand
Write out your dark confessions
And I'll be your biggest fan

Stealing
       my
        words
    is
       the
            same
        as
            stealing
                  my
            heart.

The smell of the lake
The green of the grass
The white of the sand
The blue of the sky

I miss the water splashing in my face
I miss the grass tickling my toes
I miss the warm sand cradling my back
I miss the sun shining bright in my eyes

Crawling through the dark
Blinded by the light
Of past lives

Searching through the shadows
Finding nothing but death
And cobwebs

Running through the despair
Trapped inside by the smell
Of embers in the air

Falling through clouds of rage
Anger with no where to go
But back in the cage

Crawling through the dark
Lost, looking for the light
Of life once good

Escaping through a crack in the seam
Finally finding the key
In the middle of the night

Nightfall slowly fades away
    The sun rise takes its place
Clouds of smoke float
             through the air
And the glare from the tv reflects it
      in perfect patterns of white and gray
The sight of the light sends shocks
            through the unrested body
The mind slowly escapes through a dream
         of the sun
written with poetry

The golden streets in my dreams
Show me the path to redemption
Silences the screams
Hides the shame
And rips everything that I've ever known
At the broken heart seams
Ropes and strings, pulled and tied
Nooses and knots, the reason you lied
More likely than not
The causes of why I've cried
Giving in and giving out promises
That only last until I died
Yesterday
And there was no sighs
No questions of why
The path to the ghost of my soul
Disappeared with the blood
That endlessly flowed
But I didn't know
I couldn't see
The transparency of my misery
There for everyone else to see
Everyone could have guessed
I'm sure they all knew
Life flew past my pain
Skipping over the doubts and regrets
Of all the things I didn't do
It's amazing how death can finally
Get you through
And life is something
You never really knew

"Pain turns hope into scars that burn"* ~~ *Rose


Painfully aware
Of things I see
And I do not dare
Touch what I believe
One single caress
And hope diminishes
What you're left with
Is empty promises
And unfulfilled wishes
The remnants of faith
Are simply ugly markings
Left upon your body
Causing a fire of darkness
And smoke rising
Made of sadness
That disappears
Into the atmosphere
Until you're left with...





Absolutely nothing

Dear The Creep That Loved You:

You were the first one to like the first poem I ever posted,
For that alone, I could've fallen in love
But then I started to read all YOUR poetry
And I just couldn't get enough!
Of course, your name really caught my eye too
A creep and a girl that LoveD you
Everyone can see
Our collaboration was meant to be


"You're an unnecessary part of the story."

Well, isn't that just the truest 7 words ever written,
Once I read that, I became completely smitten.
These "past tense" men in our lives...
Well, seriously, for hurting you, they deserve to die.


"Wake up in the middle of the night
for inspiration,
new ideas,
thoughts waiting to be poured onto paper."

Well, this perfectly described me to a tee
I'm Blessed to have found you here on Hello Poetry, seriously... All your words resonate deep within me
I'm totally obsessed with you, can't you see?


"You're the villain in this story,
the only thing keeping me from falling asleep,
but driving me insane with anticipation as well"

Wow
This just makes me think of bad boys,
How all us good girls just can't help but fall
We know they're no good for us
But sometimes, were naive, we just want it all...


"I sit here in tomorrow,
as you lay there in yesterday."

Sometimes, the people who don't wanna move forward
Just need to be left in the past,
Us girls just have no time for games
We need determination, we need something to last.


I could continue on, quoting all your poetry,
But you know all your lines already
What you may not understand yet, is what every word means to me.
How every stanza hits me so deeply
How every note is written so sweetly
How every title draws me in so stalkerishly
I just hope you understand that every letter you type
Reverberates deep in the core of me
And that I'm totally in love with you
Almost obsessively.

*Dear The Creep That Loved You:
Please, say you're in love with me too?

I smelled your shirt tonight
        Remember the one you took off before you left and tossed at me?
Said I could keep it for a memory.
                 It was an accident,
         I didn't want to smell it,
        To
           smell
               you.
     It reminded me of the night before you left,
        We stayed up talking half the night about you leaving,
       being sad but anxious and happy too
         I just
               held
                      you
Watched you sleep, wondered about your dreams
             I didn't sleep that night
        Stayed up all night and cried
               I knew I was gonna miss you
                  And it was gonna hurt so bad
                        To watch you go
But when I just smelled your shirt
            It didn't make me sad
                   Not
                         even
                                mad
It was just another memory
Of the mistakes I've made and learned from
             I've
                   let
                      it all
                            go
I guess I just wanted you to know
      That even if you don't want it,
                 I've
                      forgiven
                              you.
    Tomorrow?
I'm gonna wash that shirt
And *stop thinking about you.

All These Pillows

          *I still  wish

                    You were holding

                                   *Me

Digging
Ditches
In my
Mind
Trying
          To
              Bury
                   The
                          P
                             A
                                 S
                                    T
                                   .......

There's nothing
      I'd rather do
             Than just be
                     **With You

Does hate stay entwined in the back of your mind?
Is one of a kind love permanently etched in time?
Could death be the end of an idea
Even if it's never born?
Is life given from the inside
Before it's given the chance to form?

Some things can never end,
All things in life deserve the chance to breathe.
An idea, a feeling, even the things you never see.