This is my shelter
My helter skelter
So tear me from the lonely diversion,
as I am the melting corrosion

This is my place
My ugly face
I fall to the angry sea,
as a withered man, I plead

This is my view,
My broken pew,
I cross my broken fingers,
as time spent and destiny lingers

This is my penitence,
My own resistance
I am not strong because I am weak
as life stops, I can not speak

Wood pine box
I seek no time
Seeing pictures of you
trapped in my mind

Closed eyes in the dark
lay there in peace
Tears fall to the floor
and tripped over feet

One second no more
no ticks on the clock
Wish you here
My heart does not stop

Hold me together
Shaken and stolen
You left us to early
God Bless, you are golden

My heart is a machine
Broken gears and rusted
No longer ticking
It's cold metal and busted

I see the people
through slanted lenses
Cracked and diffused
Blank stare, no senses

Touch my drunk hands,
For feelings are sot
Grab and behold
Twisted up knot

I am not human,
my heart is not real
Get far away,
it's nothing to steal

Living in this mental house
Find the cure and poisoned mouse

Barred up windows and no escape
Padded walls that do not break

Line up the crazies all in the room
Out of order with violent doom

Swallow the pill, the nurse once said
Disobey and punishment another one fed

Tied to the bed with buckles and straps
Screams are moot, silent alas

Dazed, confused like all the others
Hit the wall, Why do I bother?

Walk in circles on the end
Days and nights never do mend

Escaped for a moment and brought back in
This mental house is my  sin

Words inside my head
Not finished
Break my skull
and peek inside
It is a scary place

Mark it up, Let's go mother
You are no different from every other
Your callous mind and risen hand
Had flipped the switch and snapped the band

Welted plenty by your prints,
what you did, makes no sense.
Threats were verbal with tinted slur
Malicious punishment was such a blur

Crossed the lines with abuse and pain
Take away my life in vain
No timely love can reckon thought
Not forgiven or seconds bought

Walk across the marshes
View from the distance
into the streets of London
The downtrodden man,
contrite and solemn,
with weathered shoes
and a weathered soul

Walk in his shoes,
View through his eyes
into the streets of desperation
The downtrodden man,
worn and hungry,
with no bread to eat
and no cent to his name

Walk beside him,
View of his world,
into the street of questions
The downtrodden man,
simple and depraved,
with not an answer
and no life to live

Walk to his grave,
View of his stone
into the streets of nothing
The downtrodden man,
asleep and alone,
with no one to care
and no one to see

I fear the fear
probing into the unknown,
the abyss of circumstances

Shackled with metal
in the dungeons of the cast,
the disturbed welcomes me

I speak with shadows,
only to hear their silence,
my ears are poisoned and deaf

Cursed with chills,
spirits haunt my veins,
frozen in timed emotion

I know my deathly end,
prison my body solid,
spirits release me once more

Wrap your words around my pen
Bleed them on the page
When the ink turns the river red
A poet is always made

Cancel my thoughts
Erase my mind
Color me crazy
Something unkind

Lean in my dreams
Open the book
Pop up me mental
Not going to look

Slam the door
Can't remember
Incarceration
Fall down timber

To the left
To the right
Conscience down the middle
We are stuck in oblivion

Mounted by our minds
Mounted by our sounds
Provoked into reality
We are stuck in oblivion

July Twenty Fourth, Nineteen Fifteen
The river was murky, The weather was seen

The steamer Eastland, firm on her bow,
loaded with coal, port side and sound

A captain, that's ***** and stout in his manner
stands on his bridge with an arrogant cantor

Mooring lines set, stern to the bow
Gangplanks are steady, awaiting a crowd

Employees of Western dressed to their nines,
a picnic awaits, everything's fine

Families with smiles and tickets in hand
looks up in wonder, the Eastland she stands

Boarding commences and loaded up full
Twenty Five Hundred, no more to call

Port side list, a lean to the river
Ballast is leveled, some felt the shiver

Worries amount to settling fears,
a starboard list and beckoning tears

Back to the port, no coming back
tipped on her side, everything's black

Panic in fever, screams are abound
echoes in motion, no silence no sound

The river's chaotic with bodies afloat
Kenosha stands ready and rescues the most

Eight forty four lost their lives
In the armory they lay and Chicago cries

The Eastland still rests in our hearts and our mind
Not a second or hour can turn back the time

Savory sense to ease my worry
Walked in the mist, mild with fury

Graveside scene, eerily silent
Souls of the dead speak out in violence

Mind numbed feelings, frozen with fear
Take the next step, not going near

Hair stands on end, weak at the knees
Black cat crossed, begging you please

Lay down and listen, whispers at night
Can't close my eyes, a moment I might

Rust broken gate, iron wrought ring
Shhh do you hear? The dead starts to sing

Red rain drizzles
Pierced my tongue with dispair
Devil's word in spoken tongue

Can't believe my life
Clawed through the womb
to take my first breathe
then slapped and cried

Can't believe my life
Alcohol flowed
through the bottle to the fist
then fell and cried

Can't believe my life
Wills are broken
on the bully's word
then crawled and cried

Can't believe my life
Shots of war
took my brothers
then marched and cried

Can't believe my life
Gray hair and frail
lying in bed
then rested and died

Dark words
Seeping through your blood stained lips
Bound

Dark stare
Piercing through your blank deep eyes
Torture

Dark heart
Piercing through your soulless mind
****

We linger through life
What is the plot?
Some are leaders
Some are not

No more sins
The stories are sad
Some are good
Some are bad

Walk by society
Trinkets of joy
Forget the memories
We want more

Words on the page
Call it a poem
Reading the lines
Sitting at home

Minutes are moments
Dried up in years
Tapping the pen
The laughter the fears

Gather your friends
Tell by your time
Linger through life
This one is mine

Listen to the drops
Tiny voices in my dreams

Casting doubt in memories
of my subconscious mind

What do they say?
I hear the screams

Slipped in a straight jacket
of life's immorality

But I am not alone
My tiny voices keep me company

The look of sane
and perfect skin
Comes your way
well within

Take the step
but don't look down
Vertigo spinning
Madness sound

Beauty kills
with steps of cold
Off the edge
boldness goes

Insanity sinks
the devilish plot
Watch again
Alfred Hitchcock

I lay here in bed
with thoughts and my dreams
The visions of my past
are never the same

Haunted by the notions
of days gone by
My eyes are wide open
and begin to cry

My emotions are empty
with grains of the hour
Laying in somber
I feel very sour

Not coming back
to the time and the place
Stand up to the feelings
Stand face to face

I took the first step
to conquer the fears
Not alone anymore
Not troubled by peers

Vintage smile
Porcelain look
Time still
Picture faded

Century passed
Memory gone
Page turned
Voice silent

Eyes closed
Wrinkled hands
Crystal stare
Vintage smile

Society drained
Welfare driven
Homeless people
Nothing given

Trashcan warmth
Starved to see
Ragged shoes
Nothing's free

Under the bridge
Walk by wonders
Not a glance
Nothing ponders

Bread line trays
Children cry
Hold their hands
Nothing sighs

Cardboard bed
Rain soaked leak
Covered in plastic
Everything's meek

Cruelty stumbles
****** up ways
Lie in stupor
Hunger for days

I stand stapled to the ground
A statue of time and depth
Views of my past wonder by

Stained by the sadness of the world
Rust colored tears smear my eyes
Cracked fissures weaken my legs

I see no wonders around me
Sway me forward by the gust
Smashed face on the pavement

A statue of me
Broken and forgotten
Pieces scattered
Only twenty one years