As the lights went dim
I found myself adrift
into an altered reality
And that's about
the furthest I can get,
away from this harsh
How I feel when the stores are closing for the day
I have nothing to live for now
Life feels pointless and has no meaning since we parted
And I have to wonder...
Did the sun stop shining for you as well?
Colors do not appear as bright as usual
Food I used to love doesn't taste the same
Every single song I listen to has transformed into the saddest ballad ever composed
Even the tight ball of worry has shifted position in my stomach
The hoodie you got me for Christmas burns my lonely skin with longing...
I wear it anyway
Without you the world just isn't quite right
Like the whole planet has tilted a few degrees on it's axis
To compensate for the gravity of our separation
Every hour looks the same as before
They really aren't
Their steady pace remains the same and they take the same route they always do but they are anything but unchanged
Because they feel so much heavier now
I stumble from one interaction to the next
Saying my words
Smiling my smile
Directing my limbs
Being the person I was
Yet, I am not her anymore
My life is still my life
My friends are still my friends
My heart is still mine in my chest
My teardrops still fall from my eyes
My feelings are still the mess they've been for years
Yet, it isn't my life anymore
I wake up and apply mascara to a stranger's face
Put socks on a strangers feet
Brush a stranger's teeth
Answer to a stranger's name
Because the girl everyone knows is gone and all that's left is this routine perfected by the walking corpse she left behind
Maybe it isn't the world that is irrevocably altered
Maybe what has broken isn't the shade of the morning sky or the smell of cedar shavings or the sound of pouring rain splashing against puddles
Maybe nothing is actually different at all
Part of this is an excerpt from my five-page letter to Paul but then inspiration struck and it took on a life of it's own. I do like it though. Do you think I should have ended it at "I wear it anyway" or does the rest of it add to the overall quality of the poem? Tell me what you think! :)
artificial, just like the pill bottle.
the world condenses, collapses into a pin-point right in front of my eyes
and into my paper or computer screen
thoughts racing at light speed
my mind trying to digest its own thoughts--
state of hyper-realism (Who am I again?)
an alternate dimension of higher thought
crash into an hour (or two) from now
and fall down
hard, into the present.
night and city lights dissolve,
more or less than than real?
From the edge of our swollen solar system
Lingering just beyond our orbital reach
Is the faintest of calls
A pattern in space
We reach for it
We seek its existence
We wish it to life
But it's dark where we lie
Our vision's obscured
And we're broken
And then through the cracks
Their yellow seeps into our atmosphere
Their symbiotic notes fill the air
Bathe our shoulders and fall
Into a reluctant ground
Where life begins
A moment frozen in time;
Sublime and reclining
Speckled clouds in the sky.
A moment to reflect on
My minds eye divining
My mood weaves the meadows
in which I do graze,
Breeze on my face,
of natures innocence resounding.
What is this place?
Why is it so hard to reach?
Still to my bones.
so aware of it all.
This altered conscious hears my plea.
**A warm, deep breath
for my soul,
resetting life's toll on me.
Making my skin crawl.
Wander through the window pane,
and paint the way you want.
Wondering why walls wax and wane,
Breathing deep to call my name.
Vasodilation, to the numbing of my brain.
Wonder past fallen thought
No curse of words with figbts I fought
So break my mind in tattered dreams
Altered states of liquid screams
I am currently a wreck mentally... Seriously going to break down