The funeral for this decorated soldier was a somber one.

A mother, dressed in all black, sat there with painful tears streaming down her reddened cheek and a father sat beside her in disbelief, his left arm laid across her shoulders, as he tried to comfort her.

A lost comrade taken by an enemy's bullet.

A lost brother taken by an enemy's bullet.

Our lost son taken by an enemy's bullet.

My heart had stopped briefly from each of the twenty one shots that rang out in the distance. Each shot danced echoes off my eardrums and the painful ache in my heart never seamed to stop.

His fellow comrades stood watch over his flag draped casket. Honoring him will a sharp, military salute just as Taps sounded from the bugler's horn.

The ripples of each note that was played sparked memories in my head of yesterday years and days gone.

The date was October 28, 1989. Our bundle of joy was born. It was 2:30 in the afternoon and the sun began to shine.

We became parents.

Time would never stop though.  Growing faster than the weeds in our own front yard. We learned to cherish each passing second and moment.

Through the terrible twos to the teenage years and finally out of the house... wow what happened?

We became older parents.

Then it changed. A proud moment. But a changing moment none the less.

Our son raised his right hand and he swore to defend the country against all enemies, foreign and domestic.  

His unit got deployed to a foreign country, shortly there after and we were still extremely proud.

On one chilly October, Saturday afternoon, two weeks before his 25th birthday, our lives would be  changed by one knock on our door. The dull sound of the rapping on our door is forever engraved into my head.

We knew what it meant and we both fell to our knees and wept.

The military chaplain spoke to us in a most peaceful tone, the following words, "On behalf of a grateful nation, I am sorry to inform you that your son was killed in action by an enemy's bullet"

The air became still and calm laid over us all.

At that  moment his casket was lowered into the ground and a folded flag was placed in our trembling hands.

Through the grayish clouds, one steady beam of sunlight came to rest on top of that folded flag and the time read 2:30 in the afternoon.

27 YEARS
No spoken word

27 YEARS
No written note
You come at me, now
Saddened I wrote

27 YEARS
Not in a moment of time

27 YEARS
Not in my dream
You come at me, now
Alone do I scream

27 YEARS
Not a second goes by

27 YEARS
Not a minute to spare
You come at me, now
Your heart does not care

27 YEARS
Now do you cry

27 YEARS
Now do you wonder
You come at me, now
I sit alone and I ponder

27 YEARS
I don't know why

27 YEARS
I don't know the game
You come at me, now
Guilt or no shame

Where do I begin?
Driven into my thoughts like a rusty knife
cutting a razor edge into pantomime's voiceless line

I am speechless.
Silenced by the unknown and quiet to my soul.

It was a dream I couldn't wake up from.

A nightmare !!

Maybe it was the poison, screaming tortures, that flows inside of me, I just don't know anymore.

I stand stoic, like a statue in the park, frozen on the inside and out. I start to feel the moss grow on my bronze feet.

Anchored to the ground.
I couldn't move.

I am a ghost in departure drowning in  secluded feelings I can not explain.

Looking at the world
through acidic eyes.
Thunderstorm kisses,
pouring through dark skies.

Bands of rage and temper,
feelings all caged in.
Powder keg explosives,
blowing up again.

Black and blue circles,
hid under the cloth.
Red drips from my nose,
broken at all cost

Ripped down at the seams,
by every human thread.
Abandoned and afraid,
wishing I was dead.

I talk to myself, a lot of times I could use my own advice.

I found myself alone
No sound of soul to touch
I only hear whispers

Whispers passed by my ear
Bone chilled to the core
Like finger nails against the chalkboard

Erase what I can not see
But leave my soul
For I am scared

You are my heart and soul
You are my simple breath that keeps me grounded

Black soon white,
Here now then,
Appearing so deeply
that evil grin

Soulless blank face,
with a hard piercing gaze,
I am grinding deeper
inside of this maze

No solitude, no fortune
no looking back
Where do I turn
I have no more track

A sliver of hope
or dash of my dream,
falling in ashes
In coma I scream

Trapped in emotion,
No escape that I see
drowning in sorrow,
Make me believe

Twisted thoughts of illusion
hold on to the last
I melting away
No future no past

In the vacuum of a broken heart
I am blood rushed and torn apart

Crimson tears roll down my cheek,
Wounded, torn, for I am weak

Trapped in a place of hate and deceit,
closed my eyes and covered in sheet

I am no more but my soul will remain
Never forgiven, you are so vain

For you to think about

Always write what you feel
the pen, the paper and the steel

Feelings rapture on the page
Engraved forever, feel your rage

So let it flow angsty teen
Set it stone, always clean

Reverse the question.
Question the reverse.
The answers might surprise you.

Answer the question.
Question the answer.
The problem is never solved.

Solve the problem.
Problem the solved.
Impossible possibilities.

Blasphemous rumors
spread so thin,
create false hopes
and temptation within.

Infectious blisters
bursting with ****.
Scraping the bubble,
Tension is must.

Finding the lies,
that give us no hope.
Stand very tall,
cut down that rope.

Breathing again,
feeling alive.
No downward spiral,
not going to die.

I write with my pen,
sometimes I just do it.
Writing my muse,
Just call me a poet.

Sorry fellow poets, I haven't been on in awhile. My sister just passed away on Sept. 07. It has been a very hard time. No words can describe how I am feeling about her loss. She was only 55

Crying asylum,
swallows me whole.
White coats surrounds me,
taking control.

Forcible pills,
from lady insane.
Swallow them down,
or wrenching in pain.

Rooms smell of *****
and ***** and such.
Banging your head,
it drives you just nuts.

There's Sam in the corner
counting the bugs,
Alice walks around
giving false hugs.

Look, standing there,
Mike's tearing his face.
Sue's so surine,
screaming in space.

Lights go dim
bed time is bout.
Voices are silenced,
cuz the needles came out.

Strapped to my bed,
I am piercing the dark.
Orderly walks by,
sharp as a lark.

Lying all quiet,
alone and not proud.
A squeal from the speaker,
quite vocal and loud.

Scurry in the hallway,
drinking from his cup.
"Dr. Smith to the Psych Ward!!!"
"Hurry, the patient woke up!!"

Broken lines on subway walls, twisted dolls, and high noon cat calls
This is the way I see life
It is a micosm of our failed society,
with a beaten down view on stained glass, shattered on the empty church floor begging us to pray over a God that we can't see or touch.
Kneeling in front of the wooden church pews, with two bruised knees yelling out in pain our convictions into some sort of religious echo chamber of  somber and remorse
So, you want us to believe in what is real or what is not!!!
What is this so called life you speak of?
It sounds like a messed up Shakespeare tragedy
A sad tragedy that surrounds every living soul like some God forsaken circus freak dressed up ******* in a clown suit
A souless tragedy that beats down the door of our hearts then shreds it into tiny pieces, only to leave it on the ***** kitchen table to rot in front of us
Yes, that so called life
Its hard to imagine what I have seen
what I touched, or what I have felt inside
I cannot explain it in simple words, it's complicated
It's more bad than good, destitute and diluted, forgotten and then deleted
It has all become a tragic piece of me
Why? Because I live it every single day, every single minute, every single second and every single breathe
So, let that sink in. Just tragic in a way, tragically distorted mindless thoughts trapped in each one of us.

A wretched demon invaded my soul,
wanted his **** and feeling quite bold
Flying above and stalking his prey,
darkening the skies with his wings of grey

Beckoning calls and thunderstorms roars,
getting much closer,  looking for more.
His site is unholy, that unwieldy beast,
A fire breathing dragon ready to feast.

My sword at the ready with shield in hand,
Hell was coming fast, not by a chance.
He came for blood, but missed a mile.
Next time around, I just looked and smiled.

Two mores passes by feet did he miss
my sword struck him swiftly with
fifteen hits
He crashed in the trees, feeling beset
The dragon went down with my sword in his chest.

I respected the beast for his hard valiant fight.
Standing up tall, I felt like a knight.
His attack was for not, I do not know why.
He wanted his **** but he is the one that died

"You are awesomesauce", I said to her.
She just smiled and said "Awww, Thank you!!"

(Then she slapped me, sarcasm inserted quietly)


She is awesomesauce in my book of poetry.

Seething through the broken night
Shush the moment brought to light

The whispers heard by crying sound
as footprints cross the solemn ground

Gates passed through to Bachelor's Grove
Eyes of cold and constant flows

She haunts your thoughts and every step
Shivering spine with goose bumps left

Ghostly figures at night time stray
Orbs on  film can't look away

Look right through the fields of stone
Aged with time and weathered tone

Shoulders tapped with haunted thought
The air was empty, your mind is caught

Turned around with no one there
Hallow's Eve with more to scare

Visions of past and Chicago's dead
Rise on up through blackened thread

Screams of terror and morbid sins
Stopped in tracks, they're gone again

Reach the gate of rusted steel
Fallen down on deadly keel

Out of the depths of the spirit's trove
Passed through the gates of Bachelor's Grove

Calm down, walking down
Twisted stairs, I fall down
I see the sky as pale as my skin
with convolutions and drowned out confusions.
Acid rain drops fall on me like a water torture device pounding nervously on the side of my porous  head.

I got soaked up in the neighborhood with the angry sinners and no-good winners, beaten up by the losers, users and the black and blue bruisers
These angry streets bullied me into submission and called back promises it couldn't keep
Now it is time to stop walking backwards

False walls hide true words
They concede to a twisted view
and demented end game

The innocence that we leave behind is stolen by evil and devilish hands
Evil and devilsh hands that strewn through the velvet ash of the lost, fallen and helpless
The lost, fallen and helpless souls left without a spirit to guide them
The spirit that haunts our own existence, taken back by the innocence of being

Sew me shut
Talk no more
Black thread, Red string

Wounded boards of cardboard dreams
Smelt in cities and lucid screams

Rusty nail driven in blasted souls
Wake me up and make us crawl

Bound by the ties of constant sorrow
The daylight ends, there is no tomorrow

Poetry, the true breakfast of champions.

Life is cruel and unkind
Boiled over with wasted time
Count the hands of moments lost,
tick by seconds, minutes tossed

Temperature rises and hits the mark
A hundred degrees turns too stark
Bed of sand and heat wave sear
Weigh it down with constant fear

Mercury rises an internal kind
Cuts right through a melted mind
Turn it off, burn the fool
Anger mounts then its cool

Open the bottle
Tilt the flow
Down the poison
Easy it goes

Blurred out vision
No straight line
Tilt it back
Feeling fine

Fourth drink down
One more pill
Stomach turns
Crazy ill

Half the bottle
Can not stand
Force it more
Hear the band

Head is spinning
Up on top
Fingers numb
Have to stop

No more ***
I want it more
Body craving
I am a *****

Wonder past fallen thought
No curse of words with figbts I fought
So break my mind in tattered dreams
Altered states of liquid screams

We are all broken a little
Life is never that simple

From one simple  breathe of life
our tragedy is but strife

To the last breathe we breath
sleeping now is such reprieve

Feed the broken monster
with the strangled mind
Replace the rusted screws
and tighten from behind

**** the broken monster
deep inside of me
Twisted rotten moment
no longer can I see

Gloomy skies line the beaches
Treacherous waves battering the landing crafts
Young soldiers getting sick sea in the swells
But their fate is written in front of them

Omaha, Normandy, Gold, Juno and Sword Beach
The day, June 6, 1944

Bullets flying over their heads
Whizzing by in deafening silence
One soldier is killed, then the next one
They hit the beach hard

Operation Overlord is in full swing
156,000 soldiers invade the sands
Duty, devotion and determination
Hell is about to be unleashed

Machine gun nests attack
Mowing down the enemy that invade them
Strike them with hot metal bullets
into blood soaked seas

The smell of war is everywhere
and time slowed to a ticking second hand
Fellow soldiers killed in front of you
No time to think but you have to move on

**** the enemy, **** the enemy
The beaches turn crimson with the fallen
Can not turn back
The chaos surrounds you with a deadly grip

Six days of heavy fighting to unite the beach front
10,000 wounded, over 4,000 dead
Sacrifices of so many
on the day the bullets hit the beach

I remember the first day,  I walked into class,
At seven years old saying "This will be a blast!"

The classroom was full, the bell did ring
Lessons being taught, so it begins

Recess starts, the teams are split
Standing alone, the last one picked

Slowly it starts, as laughter and fun
but deep inside, I am seeing no sun

The nicknames had started, not laughing inside
but what did I do, starting to cry

Never belonging or being accepted
being myself, I felt dissected

From 2nd to 3rd and up into 8th grade
the bullies got worse, fearing into fade

Freshman to Senior, I thought I was stronger
Hitting my point, it started to boil over

It was one little word that threw me over the edge
Couldn't take it no more, all that was said

I stood up to the bully, on that great day,
all was released, feeling no shame

But it doesn't stop there, the torment goes on
At night, I dont sleep, I just sing a song

That song never ends, forever on that round
it never skips a beat, listen to the sound

Decades goes on, never forgetting the names
What has happened to me? Am I going insane?

These are the first names that tortured my young soul
Always in my mind, but never letting go

So Danny, Robert, Terry and Andy
You are not very special or very well dandy!

Oh Michael and Chuck and Bill, I remember
stand up to call, hell is your number

Chris, Steven, and even Brad
Life's but a mystery,  so why are you so sad

I tried to forgive you deep in my heart
Why did you bully me? TEARING MY WORLD APART!!

I was getting excited.
Waiting nervously, in my little boys mind.
I stood there patiently, a wee bit nervous but patiently.
My knees were starting to shake
My heart beat faster with each step I took
I was getting closer to my ultimate dream

This eight year old boy's dream to ride by myself, on the bumper cars at the county fair.

Every young boy remembers that moment
The moment when we can put the pedal to the metal and see the sparks fly from ceiling of the metal structure, as we slam recklessly into the next car and our heads bounce off the padded steering wheel...oh yes that feeling

The intensity inside me grew by every sinking flash of time.
The Kodak moment I was waiting for
You know that time..that hip hip yoorah moment of finally being independent

I was on the rise to manhood...or so I thought

The line moved as about as slow as molasses in the winter
Ten people in front of me now

Eight.....now six

Four ...now two

I was next...yes, yes, yes ..I finally reached the threshold of my manlihood

The grisly looking ride operator stared at me with bewilderment and confusion

Now is the time that he unlocks that chain...that barrier that holds back my freedom
The rusted links swaying back and forth.

Then err of calm set over me...the time is now
I am about to become a man..
"Stand tall" ..I said to myself

I stood tall on my tip toes, straining ever so slightly, to reach the top of that painted red line just above the cartoon elephant's finger.

That moment, frozen in time!!

The world went blank as the only thing I heard was that grisly, mean looking ride operator say:

"Sorry kid, you are not tall enough to ride this ride, maybe next year."

My cotton candy fell to the ground

Deviant sound
penetrates my bone.
Inside the box,
hardened to stone.

Pounding and scraping,
six feet down.
Buried alive,
Silent and sound.

Dirt on the box,
softens my screams,
fight to the death,
don't want to leave.

Counting my time,
seconds don't last.
I am about to die,
My pain is the past.

Burned down feelings
in shadows of my home
Past childhood memories
wretched and be sown

Flames seared the walls
horrors still in mind
Many trails of tears
beaten and unkind

Smoke induced the senses
demons knocked me down
Left in traps and symptoms
Listen without a sound

Trapped in my cocoon,
hanging from the tree.
Soon to escape,
time to break free

What will I see?
Is the world dark?
Long is the day,
but it's looking pretty stark.

Now is my time,
it finally opens up.
I want to go back in
and close this thing shut.

I sit in the middle of a dark room
Surrounded my forty eight candles

Burning brightly and quietly,
they flicker with the slightest breeze

One candle is one year of my life,
their wax melting graciously to the floor

One burns out then another
my life is being extinguished swiftly

Darkness envelopes me whole
a little light and warmth present

Twenty four candles out
haunting feelings set in

What has happened to my life
sickening feeling besets me

Three to go, its going too fast
my final words, my final breathes

Pitch black
Heart stops
I am gone

Candle wax melted like the seasons gone
Burnt wick from the absent flame
You cursed my breathe
For I have caused my own darkness

The bygone evenings without a sound
Hear the high pitch scream once more
For the bell no longer tolls in time
And the crimson river flows down my arm

On my knees, I stopped and fell down