Pounding onto the drums,
Acting dumb for the crowd,
Asking to be a little less proud,
And understand that we're all ****.

Hatred consumes us all, it comes so easily; its almost a gene of its own.

Painful truths and lies shoot us all down,
Everyone is bleeding out and trying to breath,
Everyone is falling from highs and trying to catch the prize.

The skies are covered in dim lights,
Telling the stories of those who lost hope in their dreams.

Everyone is being run down,
The guns are useful tools to pierce a person,
Words impeded in them, and once it hits you there is no turning back;
Your permanently damaged mentally and physically.

The painful truth about us; the 'Human race',
Is that we are all are the monster under neath the bed,
The skeletons inside our closets,
Ready to hunt us down and consume everyone is sight.

We are own parasites,
Every judging thought that turns into a spoke word,
Has already infected someone, and grown,
The rippling effect already taken place.

We are the demons that steal away another's child,
Damaging beyond repair,
Polluting their minds with pure hatred.

We destroy own another, our own loved ones, and random strangers,
That is the little bit of painful truth.

I miss your kisses,
And the sweet bliss we shared.
I remember when we we're free,
I still cannot dismiss these feelings, or stop reminiscing on our past.

We loved a little to soon,
And said the word to loosely,
That was simply our mistake, hopefully we learned.

I still dream of caressing your skin,
And how you beamed when I did so.

Such simple little things, sometimes mean the world.

I cannot get rid of this love,
You were my sweet little dove,
And I will not willingly let you go.

My angel, I know I'll will not be your only one,
But let me be your last little love.

Counting off regret’s,
And crossing off dreams,
As I sit and rot away in this prison of the past.

Just a spec of light shines in through the bars,
As I keep myself hidden in the darkest corner of my cage.

A smile appears once and a while,
On my dull express less face,
And some day’s I’m too tired to try.

As I have isolated myself once again,
I feel incomplete but I will always feel this way,
Because even when I surround myself with good and bad people, I always still feel incomplete.

So I sit in my empty, hollow cell,
And wait for the day when I feel somewhat complete.

Let me hold my breath,
Before you throw me away and let go of my hand,
Let me have a chance to prepare myself for your upcoming plan.

I should of known, but how was I supposed to know,
That our hearts were worn out and the red string was fading away?

Your plan was your own,
It was no longer made for two.
But it's still hurt dear as the stone was thrown,
Flying into my window and shattering all my innocents.

I try so hard to hold onto the edge,
But the shards did their job and dug way to deep.

Maybe if this plan had a fairness apart of it for both parties,
Than perhaps I could be able to pull things together;
Stitch up my flesh wounds, that now have become something far worse.

My dear loved one, I know your no longer mine.
But that is not the thing that stings so much; its not the problem.
Its no longer the cause of my numbness.

I just wish you had given me some kind of warning,
Or at least told me about your plan, because I'll still mourning.

Your plan was not meant for two though,
So now I am left with nothing,
But all these shatter pieces of who we used to be,
Or rather who I used to be.

Limbs like bricks;
Weight to heavy to carry,
Don't have the energy to drag them.

Not sleepy, but too tired to get out of bed.

Acting like a child; pretending to sleep,
Lying about having a cold,
But simply sick mentally,
That's not a good excuse, I know.

Never thinking enough,
Then thinking too much,
Repeat, repeat the process.
It'll pass sooner or later, probably later.

This burden is not only one person,
It's now infected the loved ones,
So apologizes come out for the burdensome ways.

Shall stay in bed today, shall wait for it to pass,
Missing another day, wasted away,
Oh well, it isn't missed anyways.

The numbness has sent in,
The burdensome ways already in control,
Will just wait it out, and wait for tomorrow.

She holds her head down in shame,
Her hair is soaking wet, expressing her sorrow.

As her mind starts to clear from all of the alcohol,
And she finally realizes she is against the wall once again,
And her head bowed down in shame.

Memories flow through her mind,
Throughing themselves all at once into her brain,
And regrets start to be built.

She knows that she has done it again,
She’s gotten herself drunk again,
To help with all the pain and forget about all of her troubles,
She’s gone back to old habits that she promised never to go back to.

So now she holds her head down in shame,
As the water from her hair drips down her pale white face.

I have told everyone about those strange miss-matched shapes,
That litters my skin,
And tell a tale but I make sure their words are twisted.

No one needs to know the pathetic truth,
The little tale, that repeats back to me, "Your unwell."
That's fine by me; as long as it doesn't come from someone else.

I am still incomplete; still not well enough to look myself in the mirror.
Lacking the focus, to understand that I should be disappointed.

I have tattered the skin upon my body with purple and blue.

This dotted bruising I should feel ashamed of,
But I can never convince myself to stop or be disappointment.

The gently miss-match, unhealthy color to the tone of my skin,
Tells the tale's of my self-hatred and rage,
And all the unwell thoughts that dance around my mind.

I am silent, no words come out,
I am silent, no thoughts come in,
I am silent, no way of stability.

I am so silent in my mind,
I simply forget to speak.

They say because I am so silent outside,
That the inside of my mind must be loud,
But the real issue is I'm far to quiet either way.

Far to quiet to be alive,
Its like my depression finally won out,
Because not only did I get myself to shut up,
But my brain has finally shut down.

I am not fully here or there anymore,
I am lost away amongst the fog,
Someone come get me, I am sick of the silences.

Am I happy,
Or am I someone that holds a fake happiness?

My happiness,
Is rather a mixed drink of other emotions as well.

I am dancing on stones,
Some of those stones are sharp;
There cutting into my skin, leaving scars to prove that they were there.

I keep on dancing on this happiness,
That keeps cutting into me and questioning me.
I am dancing with a old drink called happiness,
And its the one devouring me.

Frozen and numb,
Unable to comprehend the next move,
Everything moves in slow motion.

Suffocating on air,
Words clogged up, unable to break free.

Her elegant hair sprawled across,
The surface of my thigh.
She had such a gentle smile.
Oh, how at peace she was.

As each breath of hers was precise,
My was ragged and silent,
As I kept my gaze straight but my thigh burned.

As her muscles were relaxed,
My spasmed and tensed, like her violins strings.

I was hyper-aware, senses buzzing,
As she allowed hers to be silent.
She was in a delightful harmony,
While I yearned for the thing that came to her so easily.

Everything hurt and I was drowning,
Her solid form was more of an anchor,
To help me sink in my own sea.

I was caged, and she felt like debris blocking me in.

Her touch was overwhelming, though she never knew this,
So hush hush, don’t tell her,
Despite you wanting to beg with tears streaming down,
You keep yourself restrained even though your disintegrating.

I am not a canvas that can be repainted,
I cannot be molded up into something else.
I cannot and will not change just because you want me to.

Dear ones, you say you love me no matter what,
But sometimes those words you voice sound like lies,
Because every time you turn around and tell me I am not "normal",
And say I need help, and you think something is wrong with me, it hurts.

You think that I can become just like you,
That I can turn into something that is in your mind "ordinary."
That I am just a canvas that can be painted over and started anew.

You wish to blindfold me and make me blind to what's truly me,
You wish to be a sculptor that cuts and molds someone in your "perfect image."

I cannot be the happy child you wish for,
I cannot be the ordinary one you dream for,
I am now the wary child on the streets, that is to afraid to speak.

You do not love me, you can't love me, because I am not you.

I would rather be somewhere else,
Rather not feel so 'alive,'
I would rather curl up and die.

Sometimes I am afraid,
But most times I am just tired.

The world doesn't seem like my place,
I quite tired of this chase,
I no longer wish to find myself.

The body that I was placed in is now hollow.

I am shallow, after all I am a human being,
Not able to sympathies anymore can only play the role of 'me,'
No longer sweet, or the gently soul that everyone knows.

I wouldn't rather be a other,
I can never fix myself into this world,
So its best if I slowly lose myself and leave.

I'd rather fall into a deep sleep and continue dreaming.

I hate mirrors
I dislike them so much

I can’t look at a mirror
Without feeling
Ugly,
Fat,
Useless,
Unneeded,
Confused,
Angry,
Sad,
Upset­,
Unhappy,
Hatred,

I can’t look at the mirror for too long
Or I’ll start to cry

I wish I didn’t have to look at a mirror
To see the one…
Me
I have never hated myself
Till I looked at myself in a mirror

When I was 7
The mirror
Was my nightmare
My bully
Pointed out
Everything that was wrong with me

I wish I could smash and break
The mirrors I have to look at
But I won’t because
I don’t want to get in trouble and hurt myself from the broken glass

So I guess
I’ll have to deal with them
I’ll just have to try and stay away from them

I really hate mirrors
I dislike them very much.

They say don’t be scared,
but it's so hard not to be

I scared of so many things
Does that make me weak?

I’m scared of leaving my school
I’m scared of people leaving me
I’m scared of the world
I’m scared of myself and what I’ll do

Will I hurt someone?
Will I hurt myself?

Why can’t I be brave?
Why am I so weak?
Why can’t I be strong like everyone else?

Someone tell me, why?