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Alice Wilde Feb 2022
I carried in 20 pounds of groceries today...

Food I'll never eat.
Crawling back to bed I think
About the 20lbs I'm missing.

Everything is fine.
Going to the grocery store was...
Almost passing out

Weaving in and out of people
Staring. Why are they staring?
The metal under my hand as hot as my face.

It's suffocating.
This metallic taste.
I'm so hungry.

Everything is fine.
Is what I tell
Friends and family.

But nobody knows
I go straight to sleep
When I get home.

I want to die.
But I'm too scared.

So I silently cry under my sheets
With no energy to
Get up or eat.
An experience I had during an episode.
jocethepoet Jun 2021
Does true pain really go away, or does it get benched till another episode kicks in.
reyftamayo Aug 2020
ang dami **** gusto
lahat na lang pinapangarap.
sana nga ay sapat ang panahon
o 'di kaya'y sobra-sobra pa.
mataas abutin pinipilit pa rin
kung mababa naman, walang kagana-gana.
nasa'n kaya 'yong tamang-tama?
hindi na makuntento kahit kailan
laging nag-aasam ng bago
lalo na 'yong naiiba
para bang moda na papalit-palit.
hanggang saan kaya
ang lakas na makakaya?
upang itong mundo'y hubugin
sa gusto at ayaw ng iyong sarili?
masaklap kung minsan ang buhay na ito
kaya kailangan ang tibay ng loob.
umasa sa liwanag na dala ng pag-asa,
konting tiis lang,
umaga na naman.
lua May 2020
the trees sway with the gentle afternoon breeze
as the hot day ticks by
the familiar whirr of a car zooms through an empty street
as joggers jog along the lonely pavement
stray cats hiss and scratch
a dog wanders alone
the busy life i once lived through
seems like a blurred dream
but this is a season finale
and a long, stretched out hiatus of some sort
and soon the next episode will start
life goes on.
Autumn Jul 2019
hands wrinkled and pruned
from ****** city water
the **** labeled blue "C"
tweaked all around

no red warmth

tonight I hold myself
contortion my arms and legs
until I'm small enough to fade
into the corner of the bed

no human skin

imaginary monsters hissing
hibernating over five years
they want to come out again
sink their teeth into my brain

no reliable breath

my pathetic veins stay blue
squeezing my cold body for safety
to no avail, my lungs remain stretched
about to rip down the middle
japheth May 2019
you’re not an
worth skipping.

you’re a
worth bingeing.
sunshine Feb 2019
you caught me at a bad time
eyes locked like a bullseye
I could feel your lips on my neck
like a disease without a cure
I let you infect my heart
until nothing was left and we were chained together
you knew this would never work
young, dumb and in love forever
you couldn't keep up with my schedule
I couldn't figure out you
so we fought in the kitchen over other people's messes
so we yelled in the car over the music blasting
our turbulent world came crashing
and like a well-rehearsed symphony
left you struggling with an ending
left you standing the rain while I turned away
sunshine Jan 2019
starting at me with those eyes
from the across the room
empty souls crossing in between our gazes
I know how badly you want to hold me
I know how badly I want to end up with you
the music so loud I feel my heartbeat
voices carry but yours stands out
I'm sipping back this bottle
suppressing all these feelings
but you keep looking at me
but you keep your hands on my waist
and I don't know why I find myself here
standing still in the warmth of this room
where the lights flicker
where you keep your lips close to mine
sometimes its better with the lights off
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