A brush of gentle lips,
A small innocent caress.
That gave her butterflies,
And heart beat shore with affection.

Eyes connect, caught like deer's in headlights.

A brush of torn lips,
A small innocent caress.
That gave me a stomach ache,
And heart beat dropped with dread.

Eyes fluttered closed, belief in it being a dream.

Entranced in a dance,
She is swept off her feet.
Time seeming to stop,
Mind made up that she is madly in love.

Hands creeping subconsciously to wrap around.

Enchanted in a pull of a dance,
Feet are heavy like there chained.
Time seeming to stop,
Mind finally catching up with the facts.

Tangled into the game of bittersweet love.

She has so much love,
She wishes to give it all to you.
Her eyes gleam with pure bliss,
Deeply drowned in maddened love.

That sadly has only one person wanting to play.

I am incapable to love,
I wished to return but I had none to give her.
My eyes gleam with glaze,
Deeply drowned in sorrow and regret.

I tried to be someone splendid,
I tried to change every feature of myself.

Dear I tried so hard being something I wasn't;
Someone that you could fully love,
So you would never leave me.

My love,
Don't you see?
I wanted to be your everything.

I tried to be everything that you wanted,
I wanted to be the very best like no one else was.

I tried deleting all my flaws,
But they came back secretly in my sleep.

I did everything I could physically and mentally,
To make you happy.
I tried to be your everything,
What I fool I was.

I remember the interrogation room,
I can still hear the voices boom,
Each question that was in burned inside my head,
Has informed and destroyed me.

I can still feel,
The clock of time, ticking by,
It's keeps reminding me,
This argument keeps going on and on,
And we both know we are done.

I don't have a voice lawyer,
That can talk back and defend me.
So I have to sit and take it.

The room is growing smaller,
Which is quite concerning because it was quite tiny already.  

My interrogators want me to talk,
But they only want to hear what they want to hear.  
So I stay silent, because I can't give them what they want.

They keep shining this spotlight on me,
And I feel so small, maybe there winning,
Because I just keep agreeing.

When I leave this interrogation room,
I know I’ll change myself all of again,
Because I aim to please,
And I never wish to go through that ever again.

The mix tap is replaying,
Your mind is spinning.
They speak and say the words with such ease,
Something that never pleases you,
Because they don't know that its harder than it seems.

Your heart a thumping.
Your lungs being swallowed and drowned,
So no one can hear your screams.

They speak with such ease,
They say the words with no trouble,
Unlike thee.

They say "Just breath",
But none of them can see how hard that can be.
Every time they tell you that,
Your heart skips another beat and you lose your breath once again.

That laughter is echoing off the walls,
They haunt the structure.

The buildings tell the stories of all the one's that died on the inside;
Tells the stories of the children that cried on so many sleepless nights.

The laughter will burn itself into the hearts of human beings.
Just  the small ones that are just starting their journey,
Now they have these marks.

Hear the secret screams;
That never can spill out but are trying to float into the breathless air.

See all those words of laughter,
Floating around a young innocent mind,
That barley had any time to even see the wonders of the world;
Now those wonders are just myth's.

The laughter is a echoed tune,
That keeps replaying.

It seems no one shall silent that laughter and see:
Its not bringing any good.

Little boy were did your wings go,
Why aren't flying so high?
Are you frightened of flight,
Or the thought of heights?
But you don't mind the thought of being high.

You can't seem to see the light,
As you take another bite on your dreams tonight.
Though watch out for those lights and sirens tonight,
That surround your home now.

Might you be called a scaredy-cat,
By all the children next-store if you told them that?

Little boy are you frightened of the world around you,
Is that why you look so pale tonight?
Don't you worry now I'll be the one to bail you out of jail.

Your mind is so frail, I am afraid.
You have taken one more step but it hasn't brought you any closer to your goal of yet.

But even if the world turns a cold shoulder on you,
I will still be right beside you.
Holding onto you as we face the hardships,
Let us march forward and face the hardness of those lashing words.

Little boy you don't have to take another sip of misery,
Or take another dose of cloud nine.

Let's stop you from trying to make your mind hazy,
Let pull you back down on the ground out from the fog.
I know it was your own twisted salvation,
But don't you see it unhealthy?

Little boy why do you run from the sirens?
Can't you see there just coming to straighten you out,
And help you realize your mistake, not punish you.

You aren't afraid of what happens next,
I can see it in your eyes that you don't mind,
But oh my friend you should.

Little boy are you sick of being belittled,
Is this why your high; beyond the sky?

You have reach you limit,
And had jumped right in it.
Not worrying about the consequences,
Because your all tired and worn out.

Poor little boy you have finally lost yourself,
Tossing the brain cells you had gladly away.
Did you do it because you were sick of all those depressing thoughts?

Little boy look there you go finally as high as a kite,
But falling so quickly downwards to the unforgiving ground.
There goes your last breath.


By, AD Fox Spirit.

I do not wish to get up,
And deal with this mad world,
With its crazy painful realities.

I only wish to stay in bed,
In my safe place were no one can bother me,
I would love to stay in my own little world,
So I do not have to walk outside,
Were the mad world turns.

Stunning pictures that hold lots of beauty,
Sadly the cold mirror's are blocking them,
Showing us what we can't look at for long,
We all believe its better to see the painting pictures.

We don't want to deal with the mad world,
And the painful screams and shouts down stairs,
We are not ready for the big mad world,
That holds our future in the palm of its hand.

We don't want to be part of the puzzles and games,
We just want to stay in our own little worlds,
Were there isn't any challenges that cause us pain sometimes.

I do not wish to deal with the little old mad world,
I would like to stay in this little space and be safe.

My loneliness has a presences that wraps itself around me,
It arms drape over my shoulders, holding me close.

It breaths a promise into my ear,
That leaves me bare and saddened,
Words of stone, saying I will always be alone.

In a room filled with people,
The only one I dance with is my loneliness.
And what sadness me most is that it's a slow dance.

My dear friend loneliness despite leaving me hallow,
At least it will always be there to keep my company.

Lonely road is my home,
It keep me cold.

It never has let other in,
So I shall never face the hardships;
Like their words,
And actions.

I shall always be safe;
While I travel the Lonely road,
That I shall travel all alone.

I watch as my friend falls in,
I try to reach out and catch her hand in my,
But I just get to ghostly glide my fingertips against hers.
I watch as she falls in deeper and deeper into the black ink,
No longer are those paths of light to climb up again,
Fading away along with her.

I am given wings to be flown back up,
Because I didn’t below down there with her.
Though I begged and cried,
As my wings started to fly up,
Leaving her all behind.

My friend I screamed for you,
I begged you to open your eyes and see that I needed you.
Though you no longer listened to reason,
No longer cared for my opinion and begging sobs.

My friend you decided that your time was up,
But I refused to accept that.
That is why I chained you and pulled you up.
I tried almost everything,
But I guess that was never enough.

I am a butterfly that got its wings clipped long ago;
It can no longer fly high.

Freedom is now just a dream,
So keep on dancing on your hopes.

Ink is writing upon my body,
Repeating my wishes of the free I want to live,
The place I wish to be in and have true freedom.

Trying to spread these clipped wings,
Hoping that I can fly away one day,
And finally be free.

Magnificent freedom where could you be?
I am all alone in this dark hole of a cage,
Never to be able to fully breath and speak about these dreams.

Magnificent freedom oh where could you be?
Don't you see I am desiring for you to set me free.

Smile bright,
Keep it tight and in place,
Smile for the camera's dear.

Each camera is a person,
Taking your picture.

Keep up the game of pretend,
Try to stay with the trend,
You still want to have your best friend, don't you?

Try your best not to be offended,
Let pretend to be splendid.

The cameras are still rolling outside,
So your going to have to wait it out till then,
Be patient before you rush back into your bedroom.

The afterlife sound much better than the wildlife outside in society.

This magnificent game we all play,
With all this assumed real smiles,
Is what everyone one watching the T.V. want to see,
So keep it up my magnificent child.

I wish to make myself into a masterpiece,
I yearn to be perfect,
I hunger to please my own living eye.

I don't need to make heads turn,
Or let artist take me to their beds.

My intention is simply,
For all those people to glance away,
I want them to simply walk on by,
No judgment in their eyes.

I simply want to be marvelous to me.

Oh miss Spring,
With a Autumn breeze, that can make anyone dream.

Oh miss Spring, you enchant people,
Making them stop in place,
And start dreaming of a better place.

Oh miss Spring, there you are,
You have come back along,
To fill the world with life and dreams.

Look at the beauty that starts to shine,
Back into the world,
Miss spring you bring happiness and hope into the world.

Drowning in a muddy mind,
So high in the sky;
That I could feel the clouds.

Spinning around,
Feeling like I could take on the world.
Grinning like a mad dog,
Will I inject another shot of Mr. Cloud Nine.

He takes my hand and spins me around,
We're moving to the beat, doing the tango.

He promise sweet nothings,
Makes me feel a sense of alive,
I feel so empowered with him by my side.

He offers me his cigar,
I take it knowing I'm already too far gone,
Mr. Cloud Nine is my sweetheart,
He promises to never let me go.

My venom,
My wonderful dangerous addiction.
You control all of me,
My movements are pulled by your strings,
As your bring me down under your wing.

Losing my sanity,
As my mental state is coiling around my heart,
And making it fall head over heels for you.

You enchant my every emotion,
I can't seem to snap out of it.
I keep on ranting about my love,
Losing all of my sanity as each word falls out of my mouth.

My mind goes fogging,
I blinded with pure lust for your touch.
My ears are ringing and awaiting for your sweet voice,
To sing me a enchanting lullaby.

My deadly lover,
Tell me how much you hate me,
Tell me how much you love me.

Remind me of my addiction that takes a hold of me,
And watch me fall back down and praise everything you do,
Even the when you break my heart into two.

The sun does not shine the way it used to;
It does not have that magnificent spark,
No longer that thing that made me smile.

My heart has seemed to faded away with the brilliant light,
And I have lost my way once again.

Sometimes my dear,
I found myself in your arms once again,
But sadly I awaken in my bed and realize my sun is no longer beside me.

My beautiful sun, why?
Why aren't you in my arms when we fall asleep,
We must I sleep in this darkness; all alone without my sunlight?

My dear sun,
Can't you see?
I am lost with out you.

Is is okay, to hide the pain;
The pain that is buried deep inside my heart,
The pain that screams,
And tries to rip its way out of my heart that is its cage?

I tell myself;
“It's going to be okay just hide the pain, it go away sooner or later”
I smile,
I laugh,
I dance,
I sing,
I’m Happy, not really.

But it is okay to lie about this pain deep inside my heart
Because if I you told you all my dark secrets,
My fears, my pain,
Then you would never be the same;
You wouldn’t be able to look me in the eye’s,
You wouldn’t be able to figure out if I’m happy or sad anymore,
You wouldn’t know if I was lying or telling you the truth.

So I’ll keep this pain locked away, buried deep down,
Stitched down to my heart so it doesn’t reach my voice.

So don’t worry, don’t think,
I don’t want to tell you my pain,
So don’t ask, because I’m doing this all for your own safety.

My emotions turned into flames,
Rising into the bright blue sky every time you showed me affection.

My heart exploded when it got filled with to much love and wanting.

Every time you turned around;
Giving your hand to me when ever I fell.
Sometimes your fondness was to much,
And I felt I could never live up to it.

You seemed so devoted to me,
Then sadly I started to doubt my devotion to you,
Because I felt I could never give you as much as you gave me.

My precious one,
How you hold me so dear to your heart,
Making me feel I never want to be apart.

My heart was struck with a strange feeling,
I feeling I never felt for no other before,
But here I am stuck in one place just starring right at you.

My mind was swirling around with flooded images of you,
I couldn't stop from my heart beating a mile a minute just for you.
I couldn't comprehend this strange feeling for you,
That has me questioning who I am.

I can help this rush of red to my face,
That makes me feel warm and sweaty,
It makes me shift around and act abnormal around you.

I don't know what I must say to make you look at me,
I want you just to stare at me and not any other.

I have this strange craving for you to be mine and me to be yours,
And I can't help but to notice that you shall never feel the same way.

You'll never get this strange emotions flowing throw you like they are right now,
As I try and take the chance to hold onto your hand in my own,
And sadly drop it back down beside me.

My baby boy,
Oh how mommy loves you so.
She always wants to hold you close.

When your mama hears your screams,
At 3 am, she'll get up despite the pain.

Mama loves her sweet baby boy,
She never wants you to suffer like she has to.

She wants you to be strong but she reminds you that you can cry.

My sweet baby,
Don't you ever forget that mommy loves you so.

My chest hurts
My chest feels hot and stiff
I’m having a hard time breathing in and out
My head is pounding

I’m worried to think
I’m thinking about so much
I’m thinking so fast that I don’t even know what is going on in my head
I’m worry about so much
I’m scared stiff

I want to cry and at the same time I don’t
I feel like a child again
I child that is lost
And can’t find their way

The tears are coming down so fast
I want to stop
And when I can finally stop crying
Someone comes along and asks “Are you ok?”
Then I start to bawl again

What is wrong with me?
Help someone
I want help
But at the same time I don’t

I’m shaking
My body won’t stop moving
I’m panicking
If I stop moving something bad will happen
I can’t stop moving
I need to move
I need something to play with
I want to run around
I want to scream
I want to dance
But I can’t

Because if I run off someone will worry about me or get angry
Sometimes I don’t want anyone near me
And other times I want someone to be hugging me
All my emotions are messes up
But one of them is sad
I feel sad and unhappy, scared, worried, angry, confused, stressed out
I feel so helpless sometimes
I want to go somewhere one minute but the next I don’t want to move or go anywhere
I want someone to tell me it is ok to cry
Because that is all I can do right now
Is to move around and cry

My breathing is getting faster and faster
I don’t want to be around people

I’m hiding under the table

No please I don’t want to go up and speak
That is not what I meant to say
I want to let it all out
But I’m afraid at the same time
I can tell you all of it without messing up
When I speak
It comes out wrong

When I laugh it comes at the wrong time
When I smile,
I smile at the wrong time
When I do something or someone says something,
That hurts me
I can’t let go of it
It bothers me for so long
I just wish I could stop

My hands shake all the time
I want to know why

I’m afraid of snapping in front of someone
I’m afraid of yelling or getting angry

When I get jealous of someone
I hate myself for getting jealous of them
And I won’t let go of it

I’m the monster under my bed
I like to hate and make me feel bad
I’m my own bully
I’m all the mean voice inside of my head

And I wish it could all just stop

This skin I wear,
Is all I have to care and though I wish to shed,
This old frame,
It is something I must bear.

The new me is frighting,
But the old me has bared to much hate.
And I tired of it all.

The skin I wear,
Its been shed so many times its to tiring to even count,
So I stop my pouts,
And I live with the skin I was given to bear.

The old me is fading,
But the new skin that I wear,
Is not fitting on properly.

The puzzle will never be finished or fixed,
So I stop my pouts and worrying doubts.
And live with the skin that I remade.

Oh sister, Oh sister,
Tell me that the world isn't so cruel.
Hold me tight and let us fly away from this hateful world.

Oh sweet brother,
Let your older sibling just hold you in this miserable time.
Let me tell you my story with tears streaming down.

Oh cold world, Oh old world,
Can you find a place for me where I won't be shunned with words?
Tell me that you can become a new for people like I,
Just long enough for me not to feel so alone and hated?

Oh my sweet loved ones,
I am holding on by the tips of my fingers.
I am still going to beside you even if I shall never be truly happy.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When the world isn't so ashamed.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I can actually get back up on my feet.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I can make you go away more easily.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I finally have someone beside me.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I don't have so much on my mind.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I can finally pretend your not there.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I finally can learn how to survive.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I don't have to worry about everything.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I the world gives me a break, so I have time to deal with you.

Hands smashing against the cement,
Tears flowing down wildly, hitting the ground with a splash,
Head is pounding, screaming out for help.

His hands start to bleed,
And his mind is screaming out; begging him to stop,
But he keeps on smashing his hands down on the cement.

Tears of betrayal making their way down his cheeks,
His fists clenched and his heart starts to hurt,
The pain from his fists is gone; it’s only numb now,
It will never beat the pain in his heart.

The rage flows deep in his veins,
It is shown in his eyes, burning bright as the tears fall.

His rage was born on the day he was left by the people he thought cared about him,
He was betrayed; now his heart is filled with rage, hate, pain, depression, and betrayal.

My pain becomes a stream upon my face,
Then it turns to waterfalls; while it falls to the ground made up of despair.

Pain is like a river;
It rarely ever ruins dry.

I let the pain flow in waves;
Crashing against my brain,
Then the screams can be heard from the waters.  

Pain is my river;
The river keeps on streaming down my cheeks.

Letting myself sink and drown down in this river.

Skin on skin,
Forcing on a grin,
Begin to feel akin to one,
Felt so foreign to another.

Sing in ones head,
Ignore the burning touch,
Hope to not say to much.

Bile trying to rise,
Just keep up that smile,
It'll be worthwhile, just keep holding back,
No need to be vile.

Do hear those voices?
Do think about death?
Do worry about people?
Do you care about others more than yourself?
Does your head hurt from all the thoughts?
Why are you shaking?
Why are you crying?
Why are you so quiet?
Why are you laughing so hard?
Why are you hugging me?
Why do you hate me?
Why are you angry?
Why are you yelling?
Why are ignoring everyone?
Why can’t you stop the yelling?
Why can’t you stop them from fighting?
Do worry about death?
Do you fear driving?
Do you envy others?
Do you hate yourself?
Are you sad?
Are you unhappy?
Do you hate the world?
Do hate life?
Do you hate homework?
Do you fear losing?
Are you afraid of not being someone else?
Do you like yourself?
Do you love me?
Do you care?
Do you want to scream?
Do you want to hate me?
Do you understand?
Do you want others to understand you?
Why are you worrying?
Why are you scared?
Why are you stressed out?
What is the problem?
Are you talking too much?
Did you talk to little?
Why didn’t you raise your voice a little higher?

Present fills the tomorrows untold futures,
With fear and heartache.

Rooted Loss that never blooms,
But its petals are feared.

The spring of the grim reaper nears,
Time but a concept,
An knowing when becomes to soon.

A cross that is bared upon ones flesh,
It is deep and leaves a past memory.
Feeling slightly lonely,
But loneliness is all one has to own.
This scar is something only we have to bear,
It never affects the one that afflicted it on us.

We hold so many precious memories,
But soon they all shall fade away as we are reminded,
Of the scar we bear upon our skin.

Everything is but a dream,
And reality is the cruel wake up call,
As we look down on the cross upon our flesh.
It soon reminds us we still have our battle to face,
And that flower bend is but an illusion of freedom and peace of mind.

The scars that have been left behind,
By all those cold things said and done,
Are the things that make us shun all the love.

Scorched flesh,
So inflamed and infected,
Fresh damage to self.

Flames dance after thee,
As you break away.
Your in dire need for a rescue,
But hate to complain.

Burns meet silence,
As cream heals all but the screams.

They set your insides aflame,
Everything physically a crisp,
As you mentally try to breath.

The silence has eaten away at me.
Everything is numb now,
My voice is no longer my shield or weapon.
I can't protect myself from this chill,
That consumes my body.

I am filled up with emptiness,
Putting on a hollow smile.

Its has become tiresome,
To keep playing this day to day game,
And keep up this mask from fallen down and showing even just a sliver of my true self.

My mouth is sew together,
Its not that I refuse to speak its just because I can't.

I was molded into the person I am today,
I was shaped differently though,
I used to be that frighten child.

They told me so many lies,
Making me feel meek.

I lost so much self-esteem because of thee.

When I was shaped,
I was cut into different shapes,
Over and over again;
Because so many had been playing with me,
And wishing to change and mold myself into someone different.

But you see the problem with being shaped so many different ways;
Is you no longer know what is who;
If it is you or some other kind of being.

I no longer knew my emotions,
I no longer knew who I was supposed to be.

So I became depression,
With old and new scars that was explained my many stories.

Here I stand now molded into the person
I am supposed to be.
But those fake shaped people I was going to be,
Are still stitched into my skin,
Making me feel empty inside.

I shall still be always hollow and confused,
But that is my flaw,
My curse that I shall live with happily.

Be silent, retrain yourself,
Never usher out a word,
Perhaps it would be best if you were mute?

You do not want a violet reaction.

Don't need to be vibrant,
So let's just be silent, as quiet as can be.
You don't need to be as loud as a lions roar,
Its best to stay silent and hide in the back.

I am trying to keeping everything shut,
I have no talent to show,
So I shall be silent.

Not shy, but not wishing to be rude,
But is having trouble speaking up and not clamming up.

Smile and never spit out any bile,
Everything must be kept hush, hush.
No one needs to hear pointless chatter.

Its for the best,
To be the best at being silent.

Those simple words,
They have burned deep into my heart.

Those words of insult seem so small,
But sadly they throw me off track and make me feel helpless.
I am lost and in pain from those words;
They have berried themselves into my everyday thoughts.

Simple words of insult how I keep on analyzing you.

Simple words they seem to hurt me;
They leave a scar that I never wanted from the begin.

Simple words you have killed my self-esteem,
And left me in this dark world that has no positiveness anywhere.

Sing me something sweet,
My dear.

Allowing me to be taken away amongst your words,
Let them repeat.

Sing me something divine,
Almost like a nice glass of wine;
Make me feel rich and old.

My love, allow your song,
To wrap around my body like a blanket of warm and protection,
As you sing to me something sweet like a master piece.

I shall be taken away into a place of dreams,
But until I do keep singing me something sweet.