product of butchered philosophy
men must suffer at the hands of those distracted
by their thirst for their self interest  
punishment is dealt at the request of politics
radical voices
which are silenced by the liberty bred into the rebel
who too fought against crimes
seeking refuge in a new land
but would not allow refuge to those
who suffered at the hands of their destruction

hello, hello - who's here to welcome me home?
where's the committee with the chariot
the very one Hades rode on

i traveled alone
with people
in search of a salvation
they said existed
but only
with death

oh joy!
bring it to me in the form of love
in the form of a six three
forty year old man

It's a cool October morning
on campus
across the way children play
you see college students make their way from one class to another
living out these lives that vary from
one existence into another

meanwhile, children play
and all the way these adults
to some and not others
make their way
some pretending
some barely surviving
some ridicule the experience
some express gratitude
because it's all some of us really have
this chance
that one day a future worth living may arise

and then all the while, children play
see,
we all wish we could turn back this clock that
lays both in our existence and our imagination
this clock
that holds these memories
that tells us we're far
and then so near
in the blink of an eye
tells us there may be something to fear
because by chance
one in a few
may not make it

all the while children play
we reminisce about our time
we tell ourselves we wish to turn back to the simple moments
but the truth is
this clock lays partially into existence
so that we may think back
and grasp what we didn't at the time
so that we may act
in accordance
when it comes time

its a cool October morning
on campus
across the way children play
as I make my way

Oceans sweep over burnt land
-clears away so
men can walk the simple path
forgetting where their desires had previously led them
to a promise of tomorrow
when yesterday was filled with worry

expect evenings laced with longing
youth buried underneath experience
desperate greed
and
foregin efforts to conserve the lives we lead

reality grows afraid
-awake
of the lives men lead
nights go quiet
and memories are met with greed
children ask for endless summers
losing the chance to sleep
while voices whisper drunk poetry

it's wrong to linger in hope of a beautiful reality
where mother's live forever
and there's joy in coming home and feeling like a child

in a home where walls are painted the color of happiness
meanwhile memories run short
three years feel like thirty
and
we lose every step of the way

instant retraction
retaliation of the mind
rejection is hard to understand
the underlying revelation blinding

people left me with a need for a new place
where touching skin no longer felt like a fear

i wanted to stay and get past my broken feelings but there's fear even in happy moments

voices of disapproval followed me
slowly and quickly
day in and day out
on land
and not even the sea could cast away those demons

warmth quickly became a burden
my scars i tried to return but faces came forward to form more

vivid exhaustion
waiting anxiously for a miracle
to embark on a journey through a spiritual realm
where everything is caressed by a hand that cares

A miserable excitement
Intertwined existence that patiently sways towards reflection
Constant deprivation of relationships and that damage they return
Beliefs are viewed as limitations that stumble through experiances -- laced with nonsense

Myself?
I wave a scarlet flag that has been aged and tattered by the silhouettes of society.

It is in breathing with difficulty that I begin to admire the ability to breathe easily
It is in moments of sadness that I begin to miss fleeting moments of happiness..no matter how minuscule
It is in the midst of panic that I  reach for the serenity that had once surrounded me

It's so very difficult
It
Is
So very difficult
To stand tall with a broken soul
To love very much with a broken heart
To think at all

Searching for some sort of relevance
Something to tie me down
                    -or lift me up
Something to keep me in motion
                    -out of my emotions
On a path forward
Not back around
To when I was
                Sad and Disillusioned

Humanity travels with strangers
With strange people

who are only strange to us because we lack their humanity
because we know not of their suffering

Because we know not what we destroy with the refusal to handle things carefully

unknown voices
trapped in visions
find their reflection unappealing
shattered, they're left constantly longing for wingless angels

lingering wicked truths
dressed in boring disguises  
fool just about anyone
they reveal random traces of hell
lifeless certainties that lead to absolutely nowhere

ruined expectations
a destination of fools
obvious opportunities - lay damaged
the disappointment is hard to comprehend
and
the message is blinding

Outside in the midst of nature and a boundary set by humans
Feelings are caught within our mind but the pain within my chest says otherwise
It leads me to believe that we suffer despite our blessings
and we're never grateful but full of guilt
We'll never find happiness but in fleeting moments where sadness awaits to wish us ill

I always worried that people would notice and ask
In order to avoid any awkwardness or worrisome expressions, I came up with excuses for everyone
My family -- friends --coworkers
I spent day after day coming up with excuses until I realized that no one was going to ask

We fear the feeling of acceptance because we cannot accept ourselves.
We hide any resemblance of beauty by calling it ugly.
We hide any resemblance of nature by industrializing it.
We turn a society that is no where near perfect into an image of achievement because we need somewhere to look to.
Why can we surpass our limits but not ourselves?

Here I am staring into reality
seeing nothing but having everything at my fingertips.

All around me people have a grasp of the unattainable.
The reasoning is unclear to me.

The joke runs through the air.
There are seldom things that are ever clear to me.

I am blinded by their acknowledgement.

The truth is
      freedom is a hard pill for parents to swallow and kids spend their whole lives buying the prescription.
Hoping that one day
                              their parents will be medicated
                                                                  intoxicated by their own need for freedom.

It's the time to act on the promises
Instead of a welcoming embrace, I receive an apology
Played by the game I made
She deserves more too
But she has no clue

Two world collide in the quietest way
It is not a not a notion that surprises even the faintest of heart
It's a collaboration of two people who don't know where to start
It's movement in the place of stillness
Life in the place of death
It's you and I baby
Will we ever accept?

Raving recognition increases terror
You sarcastically dismiss such grief
Reality feels entitled and everything falls apart year-round
A future worth tasting and all we've reached is this summer
In a year or two it's something we'll barely remember

I do not want to leave behind blame
I do not want guilt extracted from my words
I want a simple couple of words to speak my goodbye
Not about the cause but of the moment I chose to leave this world behind

We are all part of someone's dream, a realm of the universe unseen.
We displease, we heal, we unveil the hidden and yet all that can be seen is what is heard....
       disregarding all lives that were formed for a moment in the limelight that was never owned.
Some call themselves flawless but the notion in itself is full of flaws and we remain untouched by the obvious.

a searching universe
continued cries
evil kisses upon lies

worried people
missing secrets
the town is suddenly screaming

admist the chaos
wrapped in longing
a boy and his repeated demons
faded and stained
all but the same
darling bleed and release

The blue wanted to believe that the truth was trying to turn, run and touch the wronged
but death opened the room which broke the silent ground
It worked slowly I mean it could not speak
                                             could not even touch the ground if it wished
It just grew while reality filled ones feelings
Men stood green instead of trees and the strongest heart was that of an infant

Dissatisfied with ourselves
                                          and lonely with others
Seeking the truth
                             but speaking with lies
                                                                ­                                  
                              ­                                                   What a life
Breathing oxygen
                                 but expelling smoke
Turning love
                       into hatred
                                                                ­             We're magicians

Where no human lies awake
                                     a dream state                                                            ­      
                                                    One other
                                                            Shar­es this place
                                                           ­                    but it is on a murderous rampage    
                                                                ­               Wrapping its fingers around your throat
                                                          ­                     Til your breath is no longer all you hold
                              It takes your prized possession                     
                                           Not your life
                                but the happiness that hides

Constantemente en guerra con mis pensamientos
Esperando, pero no trabajo por la paz que busco
Por Que
              Por Que
                            No sé

And yet we dream of finding those moments in which we feel lifeless
Away from all distractions
We never do find relief from such a horrid grief
Only those who chose to ease

I am myself.
                     That's all
It's hardly anything but for you I will try to be everything

I don't know what will become of me
or
how life will shape me 5 years down the line
but
I promise to be forever thine

Just give me a chance
Take a step back
Take a breath
Let me down easy if you think I could never complete your picture
If that's the case then I hope you never meet another misfortune like me

Everyone claims they are watching out for me
What I become if all goes wrong
                                                      Will be my own fault

Love disintegrates the same way our skin and bones do
Nothing is left once said and done
You might as well just grab a gun and be glad you weren't made to be the one

Laying
            d
            o
            w
            n
wi­th a fright
                  p
                  u
Waking          with a sight
I see the stars and the moon
Making me feel sane despite the delusions of my life
I feel loved as though the stars were hugging me
but yet the moon was tugging me
I cannot chose which p
                                       a
                                           t
                                               h  
                                                    to take for
                                                                ­       I am
                                                               caught between
                                                     t w o                                f a t e s

I know what it is to be burned at an early age
The ashes still sit on my skin
The memories alive like those flames

"All I know is that I know nothing."- Socrates

You live with the
                             idea of death
You love with the
                             opportunity to hate
You try to learn of the
                                    uncertain
Which is an impossible task to take
And all the while you c o n t r a d i c t  yourself
Sometimes making your life a living hell