I want to feel like I matter to someone
To feel like I'm worth someone's time
I'm the guy who always wants someone
But is unwanted by that person
They say if you want something hard
You will get it
There is nothing I want more than her
They say if you work hard for something
You'll have it
I've tried so hard, there's nothing more I can do
Should I settle just so I'm not alone
Because I know I won't feel the same for someone else

Among friends and family
I feel more alone than ever
It is suppose to be a happy time
But here I am with a fake smile
Pretending to be happy
Why is that?
What am I missing?

Look at the Sun so bright and beautiful
Trying to mimic you
It stands no chance
your beauty can't be duplicated
It tries real hard with no avail
Not even close
It seems the sun can only frown
Because it will never be as beautiful as you

I can move on
But I'll always compare the to you
No one will ever measure up
No one will be as good as you

I was born in Puerto Rico
I grew up with an alchoholic abusive father
He would hurt my mom
We came to the USA when I was 5
To get away from him
My mother found a better man
When I was 7 we wrent back
Around that time
I developed an ear infection
It was very noticeable
Every one would avoid me
I had no one to talk to
At age 9 I had my first surgery
It fixed my infection
I had a scar that grew behind my ear
People thought I had a worm or something
So again I was alone
After a while I had another surgery
To remove the scar tissue
To fix my inner ear
They fixed my ear although I lost
65% of my hearing in one ear
But the scar tissue grew back
A year after I had my last surgery
To remove the tissue
I would need steroid shots in my ear
I got a got a couple of shots
But the insurance wouldn't cover more
So it eventually grew back
I started to grow my hair
So to cover my ears
My junior year of high school
I noticed the scar had shrunk
I felt better about my self
So I got a nice hair cut
A new style a new me
Except I was very shy
I guess I still am
Theres alot more to write
But I'll leave it for another day
I will say
I suffered through alot of things between all that
Much like most teenagers do
Bullying, anxiety, acne, feeling alone, thoughts of suicide, self harm, rejection, and more
But I never gave up hope
I know there are people out there
That have it worse
But it does get better
It sounds so cliché to say that
But its true

Every time I close my eyes
I see you with him
The pain I feel is almost unbearable
It keeps me up ,afraid to sleep
In fear I will see you and him
I try to think of something else
I can't,  my mind won't let me
No matter how hard I try
No matter how much I don't want to
Every time I close my eyes
I see you with him

Can't you see when I look at you
How badly I want you
Can't you see when I look at you
How much I care about you
Can't you see when I look at you
That I don't ever want to leave your side
Can't you see when I look at you
You are all I think about
Can't you see when I look at you
How perfect I think you are

Can't you see I Love You

Do you ever wonder why i call you sunshan?
No, not because it sounds funny
Its because just like the sunshine
You turn a cloudy day wonderful
You dry up all the sadness
You brighten everyone's day
You make people happy
and that's simply with a smile
There's no better name for you
Than sunshan

When I'm with you I feel safe
When I'm with you I feel sane
When im with you I don't feel alone
When im with you I have no worries
When I'm with you I feel what I dont feel with anyone else

I'm sorry
Its just that you feel like heaven to touch
I can't help myself
I want to feel your lovely skin forever
You smell so good
Those beautiful lips
I just needed a taste.

I know you see me hurting
Wanting you so badly
I want to be what you need
I wish I wasn't the only one
Who felt this way
I wish I wasn't the only one in love

It hurts me to be your friend
It would hurt worse if I wasn't

A love like yours is hard to find
Because you're the only one who
Cares about everyone, so selfless
Definitely someone to look up to
Everyone can't see what I see
Forget all the mean things
Give me your attention
Hear my words and
Ignore the rest
Just remember you're beautiful
Know that you are perfect
Like a gorgeous sunset or the
Moon in the sky at
Night
Orbiting around a sun, jealous of your
Perfect bright blue eyes
Questioning if its possible for eyes to be so
Radiant, so alive, filled with
Something indescribable
Unknown to this
World. you are so kind and
Xenodochial, a quality unseen in many.
You're the one I wanted from day
Zero and every day since then

"And now I do want you to know I'd hold you up above everyone.
And now I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me
And I'd be so good to you"
                                    
                                              - Marianas Trench

It's my birthday today
I wonder what fate has in store
I wonder how my day will go
I hope it goes well
Here's to another year above ground
And here's to many more

He hurt you with words
He neglected you
He cheated you
I was there
There to mend you
To help pick up your pieces
To listen to everyone word you spoke
And even after that
You are still with him
You will still marry him
I guess he won

And here I wait
To find my whoever
Wherever she maybe

So here you are in my arms again
Crying about the pain another has caused
I wish I could help you feel better
I wish I knew how
To see you upset breaks my heart
Because without your smile the world seems darker
I'd do just about anything to see your priceless smile again

There is a woman I know who
Is as beautiful as could be,
For she has brown and blond hair that goes
Down to her shoulders and shines in the sun
As light hits its gleaming strands of gold,
And she has blue-gray eyes,
Bright and lively,
That look like the sky or the ocean,
With life shining through them
From the depths of her soul.
Her smile is bright and beautiful,
Lighting up an entire room,
And is contagious,
For when everyone sees it,
They all smile, too.

You asked me if I think he'll cheat again
It hurt me so much to lie to you
I couldn't tell you something that could hurt you so badly
Even in the darkest of times
One should still have hope
Who am I to take that hope away.
Truth is I think that he will
I wish I was wrong and I very well could be
But from what I can tell he will
One time is a mistake but 3 times is not,
He knew what he was doing and didn't care.
He was selfish
He would have never told you and he would still be doing it
Maybe not with the same person but still.
When he would tell me about it
He didn't sound sorry he would sound proud of himself
Like a someone who just stole something expensive and got away with it.
Thats why I think he'll do it again
He wont be able to help himself.
He will just be better at it.
Learn from his mistakes.
He maybe won't do it for a while
But he will eventually.
I dont think you should stay with him
Much less marry him
But I'm not going to tell you that.
I don't want to be blamed for this
This is something you need to learn on your own
Hopefully you don't come to read this. Hopefully I'm wrong about this.
Hopefully you will be happy with him.
That's all I want
For you to be happy even if its without me because I love you

I never wanted someone
As much as I want you
I'd give **** near anything
To be with you
I'd say anything
To have you in my arms
And I would do everything
To wake up next to you

It makes me mad that the person that has you doesn't even know what he has.
That he can even go even one day without kissing you
I'd do anthing to kiss you and to be with you
And the there he is, probably the luckiest guy on the planet and he doesn't even know it

As you light up the room around your pillow case
I lay awake, holding and caressing you
Trying my hardest not to sleep
Because I'll soon have to go
I gaze at your angelic face
Wishing I could stay here forever
As I lay on your shoulder, touching your face
I wish I could lean in close and kiss you like we kissed once before

I want to wrap my arms around you
I want to hear your sweet little laugh
I want to feel your breath on my lips
I want to be there when you're sad
I want to hold you when you're mad
I just want you to be here with me

You're not mine to want
You're not mine to need
You're not mine to love
You're not mine and you never will be

I look at the scars I have
The scars I've caused myself
And I wonder if I should be proud
Proud that I survived all that pain
Or ashamed that I caused it

I just want to tell you I love you
I know you won't say it back
That's the worst part,
needing to say how you feel
Feeling the urge to just let you know
it's better if you don't know
I keep telling myself that
It doesn't help, I need to say it
But it could ruin us,
it could hurt you
Having to burden causing someone pain
I rather be secretly miserable
Than to knowingly hurt you
I guess maybe I am selfless
But only when it comes to you because
                          I Love You

I always seem to find a way to
F**k things up
Maybe it's because I hate myself
I hate who I am and the way I am
I love too much
I care too much for people that don't even care about me
I try my hardest not to care
But all my heart wants is to love and be loved
That's the way I am

I just need someone beautiful next to me , someome to love, someone to hold, someone to keep. Could it be you? I hope it's you because I've looked and there is no one better than you

I dont want to admit how much I need you
I dont want to seem weak
I dont want to seem desperate
But the truth is I am
I am weak
I am desperate

I want to say how I truly feel
But that'll just make it harder on you
You think you know
But you barely do
So I'll keep it to myself
Like all my other secrets
secrets that keep you happy
secrets that keep me alone

Trying to write something nice
I could write it all
I could write forever on how beautiful and perfect you are
But you'd never see yourself the way I see you
But that's alright, I'll just have to keep reminding you
I'll remind you how beautiful you are everyday
Hopefully it makes you feel pretty when you feel ugly
Makes you feel worth it when you feel worthless
Makes you feel loved when you feel alone
Because as long as I'm here I'll always remind you of you're beauty

I can't control my self
Every time I see you
I want to kiss you
Like you haven't been kissed before
If kissing you would **** me
I'd die the happiest man

The way you feel
The way you taste
The way you are
I want more of it
Even with a sore
On your beautiful lips
I want more of you
I didn't want to stop because
I knew hat would be the last time
I would feel your amazing lips on mine
I had to savor that feeling
That moment when our lips are together.
I told you I would stop
In fact I might have promised it
But just know that every time I lay my eyes on you
I want to kiss you so very, very badly
And I wouldn't mind kissing you for the last time... again

"I'm gonna light up this place and die a beautiful star" -pierce the veil

Im sorry, I'm being a ****** person.
I'm acting like someone I don't want to be.
worst I keep making you feel ****** about it all.
You are just so beautiful
So funny, so down to earth
So understanding and beautiful
I know I said beautiful twice.
I'm sorry I'm too weak to resist touching you
kissing you, wanting you for myself.
I hate that it seems like that's why I ask you to come over.
So I can try to kiss you
Its not
I meant it when I said I wouldn't try
Unfortunately I did and I'm sorry for that.

Scars aren't always deep, scars aren't always seen.  Scars can be healed, it just takes the right person to help you do it

Battered and bruised
Destroyed and rebuilt
Alone and afraid
Hurt and confused
After all that you'd think
A heart would stop
Just give up and shut down
But the heart knows
That there's still hope
There's a reason to keep loving

Even with someone else at my side I still feel alone
Even with the caress of another person I still dont' feel loved
Maybe it's me , maybe I've just grown cold
Maybe it's you, maybe it's your beautiful face
I wish I could move on, I want to find someone else but your heart is magnet to mine. 
If it was easy i would have pulled away a long time ago

A person like you is worth more than money
A person like you is worth more than time
But I'll give you all my time
Even if it doesn't make you mine
I'll spend all my money
even if it doesn't buy your love
Because for person like you there isn't a price I wouldn't pay

Yesterday I said how I felt
As expected the feelings
Were not reciprocated
My heart still hurt nonetheless
She loves him more
After all this time she still
Believes in him
I want her to be happy
He won't make her happy
I know his kind

I really hope you come back soon
Because I miss you more than rick misses lori
I love you more than shawn spencer loves pineapples
And I need you more than korra needs bending

It hurts when you leave
I wish you could stay
If only just one more minute
Just one more minute
Of laying next to you
Just one more minute
Of being with you
Just one more minute
Of not feeling alone
Just one more minute
Of looking at your beauty
Just one more minute of bliss

Why is it that every time
I picture myself happy
It's with no one else but you

I give so much to those who don't deserve it
When the right person comes along
Will I have anything left to give

"Your eyes they shine so bright
I wanna save that light" -imagine dragons

when I look into your eyes,
I can see that you are frightened.
and this is so painful for me because you are so young
So fragile ,so brave , so beautiful
I'm sorry young lady
I'm sorry that, I'm not there
telling you everything is going to be okay
I'm sorry that I'm not there to tell you, you are special, you are worth so much more
You are worth so much more than ****** fights and thoughtless arguments
Its not your fault, none of it will ever be your fault
I promise you that

Causen I'm in love with you
And you're in love with him
I can tell by the way you move
you don't know what you're doing to me.

Some people enjoy sleeping alone
I would rather sleep with someone
I don't care if it's hot or cold
I would hold them close
Feeling their warmth and their breathing
With a smell that leaves you wanting more
Getting to touch their soft skin
Knowing you're safe with that person
Knowing that person is yours

As I touched your soft hands It felt so right
To be sitting with you that cold cold night
I looked in your eyes and guess what I saw
A girl so beautiful who left me in awe
As the night pressed on, asleep you fell
As you slept in love I felt

"When a man learns to love, he must bear the risk of hatred"**
After being hurt so badly
I had given up on love
On any hope of being happy
I started to hate myself
Because there must be something
Wrong with me
I'm the reason people leave
I'm not good enough
I hated  the thought of being in love
The world seems empty
Without someone to love
So I'll keep risking it
I'll keep hating
Someday I'll get it right