I didn't expect my black Cocker Spaniel to die.
He died 30 years ago today on the 14th of July.
He was born in 1981 and Poochie was his name.
He was killed by a car and it was a **** shame.
Poochie was unfriendly at times and sometimes he would bite.
But he was my dog and when that car killed him, it wasn't right.
It was sad because my dog couldn't live anymore.
He died thirty years ago on July the 14th of 1994.

(Friendly
Regal
Adventurous
Natured
Klepto
Irreplaceably,
Eternal­.)

In my hands,
From the beginning,
To the end,
Through the thick,
And thin,
You will always be my best friend,
Till we meet again,
My little man,
My little guy.

Nonpareil
Strut
Tank
Excitable
Inquisitive
Noodle-****

In the dimly lit chamber, we set the scene.
An owner and his pet, a game of primal and prey.
She kneels like an eager dog, a collar around her neck.
He stomps his feet and keeps her obedience at play.

The owner, like a magician, keeps tricks up his sleeve.
He wants his pet to learn— to be his student and please.
Commanding her to crawl, to fetch and beg.
Waiting for him to call her a good little pet.

She barks and whimpers, a puppy in passion.
Spins three times and licks her master’s feet without a whine.
The pet surrenders to her master’s might.
She delivers his sturdy leather boots in a straight line.

With a flick of the whip, the pet curls in elation.
Her master chuckles at her sounds of temptation.
Submitting to the cynicism of ******* and discipline.
She is flogged like a plebeian, forgetting she’s a citizen.

Pet and master, a bond so strong.
The two are bound by zeal, craving one another.
She wallows in the comfort of her belly rubs and treats.
And runs around with a rush of red in color.

She goes through treacherous training.
And yelps if she’s ever caught complaining.
Waiting for a tasteful gift: the eternity collar.
When she is ready, he puts it on with honor.

You died half a year ago tonight and I had to say goodbye.
It was six months ago when I watched you die.
It's never easy when a man loses a dog as special as you.
If somebody says that you were awesome, it will be true.
You were in the living room with me when I watched you take your final breath.
When I had to watch you die, it was extremely painful to have to face your death.
You had chocolate brown fur and you're a dog who I'll never forget.
You died on a Saturday night and when you died, I lost a great pet.

my sister’s cat died in my arms.

my sister’s cat,
who she never fed.
who she never snuggled.
who she never loved.

my sister’s cat,
who i fed.
who i snuggled.
who i loved.

i didn’t cry.
i didn’t mourn her.

but my sister
she sobbed.
she grieved.

is this not the way of the caregiver?

caring until the time to care is over?

and leaving the owner to mourn?

My best friend doesn’t talk very much,
He listens sometimes, nods his head and such.

He sleeps all day, loudly most times,
Unbothered by me or nickels or dimes.

He smells damp, his feet are warm
Circled next to my head when my mind is a swarm.

My best friend always knows what to say
If the piles of stones in my head start to weigh.

In that, he doesn’t talk, or even really touch,
He just listens sometimes, nods his head and such.

It's been three months since the day when you died.
You were a wonderful dog and that can't be denied.
I remember the day when I bought you.
When you died, it was a terrible thing to go through.
I became a lucky man when your former owner sold you to me.
You were my Chihuahua and I bought you on August 18, 2020.
When you died, it was something that was sure to devastate.
You were my dog and that's something I'll always appreciate.

The sun's still out my head's in the heels of my shoes
I'm surprised I can even dress myself

And though I stand here lonesome
I lift my eyes from the ground
upto those birds that spiral novel uncharted shapes in the blank sky.

Me I'm still bleeding I just don't get to bleed on you now
How lucky for us both
To look back and forgive and forget as we please  and bless sweet nothings in and out of nothingness and choose whether we could or couldn't care less
Nicotine laced condensation scratches the window too blurry to see anything but my face
Though I only see it from the outside when looking back
Jester-like like the black cat's white-outlined grin
before crying to be let in and out of the rooms as he pleases
I know you spend as you get but can't you account for anything at all?

     I'm nibbling my wrists those birds are all I've got to lick the wounds
And I can only care for them so long as they still want me to look at them

And you
You sit with so much on your mind have you really just nothing to say?

I've met you several times but we only spoke that one time, didn't we?

You just took a couple draws from my cigarette and we were both happy enough to leave it at that

If I saw you in the street I may assume the identity of my doppelganger
  I'd still like to call her over to mine someday if I were able to but that's not something I dwell on
You're just the reason I'm starving I wouldn't pay me no mind in your spot either
Sweet-thing

You aren't worthy of another promise I would've been happy if I could've only atleast had them left to keep
I'd rather crash literal breakneck speed before speaking to you again and you know that by now, don't you?

Fog falls light from small mountains it looks faint but it imposes it's presence to-be
threatening to cover our faces heavy enough to stain our clothes

It beckons those pretty birds to be among the first to rise and
be engulfed

I'm stuck to the ground sweetthing with my eyes falling back down,
My feet are heavy as stone but I can't afford to get tired waking up so late into the day.

Some Chihuahua dogs are hateful but you weren't hateful in the least.
You were a very special dog and it's painful because you're deceased.
Just one month ago today, you were still alive.
It's sad and heartbreaking because you didn't survive.
I didn't realize that you were sick until it was too late.
I lost a terrific dog and it's something I'll always hate.
I was hoping you'd survive long enough for me to take you to a vet.
But the animal hospitals were closed and it's something that I regret.
You were wonderful and it was painful to watch you die.
When a man loses a great dog, it's hard to say goodbye.
Your life came to an end in the evening on the ninth of December.
You were my Sweetie Pie and you're a pet who I'll always remember.

You became family when you moved to my place.
You showed a lot of love when you licked my face.
It was sad and heartbreaking when I watched you die.
You weren't just a dog, you were also my sweetie pie.
I bought you in 2020 and I only owned you for three years.
Your death is a painful experience that has driven me to tears.
You were small with chocolate brown fur.
When I say that you were special, I'm sure.
If I live to be a hundred, you're a dog who I'll never forget.
I will always be proud because you were a wonderful pet.
I have something important to tell you because it's true.
You were my Chihuahua and I'll always love and miss you.