Goodbye Army of criticism
making me feel worthless:
for being myself.

Goodbye all my dictators
for forcing me to tread cautiously
on the truth.

Goodbye thoughts that I have
to COMPRIMISE to live.

Goodbye family.
I live with you for now,
BUT I AM NOT YOU.

From now on,
when your truth
collides with mine
EVERY TIME
I’m done explaining,
when you’re just listening
to discredit
and reinforce narratives
that bring us all lower.

I’m mandating love from
somewhere
and might as well start
within myself.

I’ll live as a collection
of cells, energy, wandering,
as long as it takes
to live, love, and be my truth.
No MORE volunteering
to dumb it down.

Goodbye all who cannot watch
leaves fall.  As mine do,
Goodbye, and signal my home.
Because this, officially,
is NO longer it.

I am a tenant.
I’ve said my penance
I’ve long since wanted
better than this
and even when I try
it’s not good enough so:
there’s no other answer
but to spend more time
with those who recognize
the worth of mine.

Genetics has finally
crossed that line.
At this point a test would barely
credit you for most of my DNA.
Continue believing
in weakness of the flesh.
Believe I’M the weakest.
The “reality shows”
are over.
I have no idea
the shape
of a Kardashian ****
but I’m SINCERELY
disgusted that,
with all the “new age”
words “spell correct”
has dismembered:
it CORRECTLY
re-spelled their last name
from my approximation.

Yet ANOTHER reason
we are not the same.
Not the same,
is not bad,
except when we walk over
everything that the other
holds strong,
and that’s why I’m done.

Goodbye.

The same ones who hate me
tend to try and break me,
Curse and forsake me,
Then cry when they **** me.

Then they see,
That they actually need me

it's too late for that now,
Because I do not break and I certainly won't bow.
They have condemned me for now
But watch them as they come back around.....

For Help.

and i ache just thinking about it
all those times i needed you and you walked right out the door.
all the soft and tender midnight words i dreamed you had whispered in my ears that were soon replaced with cold lifeless ones.

and i ache

i ache for all the times my heart skipped a beat just to get thrown down the stairs

i ache remembering all those nights that i would lie awake
    alone.
right next to you.

        begging
to be touched
to be looked at
to be held
to be seen
to be felt
in all the throbbing places
inside of
    me
just one little kiss
one kind word
a moment of softness
   some sort of mercy


and i ache. i shiver and shake

        i cry and wonder when i’ll get a break

i cry and wonder when i’ll get a break.

I am a lone boat,
nothing inside,
just an empty void,
keeping myself afloat.

Navigating around,
just waiting someone,
to welcome aboard,
and travel the world.

Years of rough sailing,
can't still find a thing,
the happiest feeling,
that I've been praying.

Waves of loneliness,
wanting me to swallow,
whirlpools of  promises,
pulling me to sorrow.

Poseidon's kingdom waiting,
to see my boat drowning,
wrecked on seafloor unloved,
sunk on trench unappreciated.

you fall
your pieces shattered
because you are adored by all
but not to the one that mattered

you pick up your parts
scattered on the floor
a work of art
he never adored

Perhaps someday you’ll come to realize that a dandelion holds just the same amount of beauty as a rose