to be on hold pending
in anticipation of what or what
what for and why and why
whom in the heath of what and where I am
lost behind the door behind the lamp for
a window behind a window behind
a blizzard behind the snow
for the sun behind the sunny rain

be in anticipation of waiting for something
how it is and what kind of flashlight it counts
where am I where I am not was
times there was no time there was no past
and there was no future and now where I am
in anticipation of who is where and when and how in
waiting for that sunny rainfall

23.09.18

the ghost of love appeared today
today and unexpectedly he appeared
this ghost or more precisely not he but she
yes it was she who appeared girl
from nowhere and how it appeared is unclear
where and why I why I'm weird
then when I forgot and at all about love then
when I forgot and stopped dreaming about it
she appeared and only she began to loom
ghost ghost of love away somewhere in the fog
somewhere beyond the bridge somewhere
in the seas and in the light and moon
and again the thought of whether
she will run away from me or
she will still be with me or all the same we never
we will not meet and will never worry about leading
about the upcoming inspiration it
is unclear what will happen now and on

silently and silently the lanterns burned with their ordinary
ordinary light buzzed they and I just walked in
his usual dreams were in his dreams and in
his gloom was daily and more and more convinced
that what is material is our thoughts unnecessary thoughts
unimportant thoughts are not important thoughts first come out
outside in the light we create this light but for what purpose
i know for what but as usual I do not want this and at all
and I do not want to talk about it at all and I'm on the boat again
and where are my eyes looking really I see that fog
is it really not a dream really in my life
love breaks in love but for now only
ghost but it does not matter anyway it's the same thing

22.09.18

I fall into a dream I
I fall into a dream
in a dream I fall
I fall into a dream

and the arrows go
they do not stop and
arrows go their
never stop

I fall into a dream fall
in a dream I
I fall falling into a dream
and in the sky a rocket

21.09.19

skin slips away skin escapes
again she flies by plane
again she runs away from all of us
again she runs away from me

but was there love whether she was
was the beauty of the moon of that day
was I and were those moments
o all escapes all runs away

20.09.18

no I never died no
I was never born no I
never developed no I
never swallowed nothing
I'm not alone I'm not the only one in my
many millions of eyes and deaths
I am the whole world and even the future and
the past has never been in the world
everything was only and only once
once and only just now
all that was the sixteenth century
seventeenth eighteenth and now
and now it's all in one moment
all in a jiffy just now was not
I have a birth and I did not have death
will not be tomorrow and will not be yesterday and was not
tomorrow and there was never and never before

no I never died no
I've never been born no I never
I did not feel nowhere to feel
go after all this whole world of
an unfavorable corner and place
every girl and every man of every character
every word every poem every torch every love
every eye and every color every moon and sun every
clouds all this all this all
this all this is me and only
only and only and only and only
and only me and I and I and I
every time every time every artist
and every composer
every poet every deceased every newborn is all equal
they were never and never were born there was no being
being has always been and is all this
I all this I all this is me

19.09.18

under the lake we were we
under the lake we sang about
than we then sang we sang we
what were we talking about then
what were we talking about then about
what were we then and when

under the lake shining where all around
flowers alone flowers and roses and moons on meadows
about the circle about where the
lake is where the lake is in the wilderness
about what we sang with you about what we were
about what we sang with you about what we went about

18.09.18

in a wooden old hut which
I'm already standing and sitting and reading
which day my lamp burns there
which day I sit and write
it is there looking out the window looking at the forest
looking at a tree looking at owls and deer

and playing the piano occasionally rarely
playing and playing and playing I look again
in the sun to the moon on the clouds that
have lain in all this and everything again and again
day after day not going anywhere nowhere
leaving I sit and sit in my chair in the hut

17.09.18

and all the water lilies fell from all
parties and from all the islands to
they all disappeared long ago where they
all these water lilies have gone away for so many years
I lived among the swamp and nature so much
I wrote poetry there and went to
I kept looking at the moon with clouds and rains

disappeared the disappeared sea disappeared
people and disappeared myself I disappeared myself and I think
perhaps forever forever forever

16.09.18

and time passed and we are all to
the disintegration was more precisely
we all came to him on his
we already die more precisely than we already
we died already there was no life
as well as there were not all her those words

there was love and time went and the snow was
and oh how I rejoiced over him like me
was happy with the snow and his rain
and from his sadness I was not in sorrow ever
but since I was once the past was mean I was
always in sorrow always dying always knew everything

time passed and the decay came he was all
closer and closer closer and closer he was so close
so near he stood next to me so close
more precisely he was already me I was a breakup everything was
disintegration we never lived we never breathed
we never existed we always died died

15.09.18

o i so often feel fear
and I'm inspired that
thus I do not have a living
me nowhere on the body and in the shower
that by the same token I'm not alive and not at all
that I do not feel life in myself
just enslavement of emptiness
only black and at the same time
bright white only death

so often so often I feel something
all the time feeling feelings
they do not have a huge end
a thread that never stops
I do not know what will stop him
Is the birth of death what is one thing
does death in general exist on earth
but still it was never in the world
was only the light in the world from which
we will never and never never leave

14.09.18

city ​​lights for some reason
in the last time they have me
and snow so often swirl
before my eyes eternal
and all the time they say their own
strange and confusing questions
questions all eternal questions
on which there will be no
no replies of the existing

city ​​lights as urban
cabinets and how not cabinets and how books
and how everything in this world is ours
light is only light and differences
was never in this world
we are white color wandering in white
color and perhaps it will always be so
everything eternal is always eternal and
eternal is always that is not
will end in this world never

13.09.18

the sand will fill our days
they will be blown away by the wind and music
blows their flute and flute
takes them with him february
and our autumn and summer

will fill the sand and love
and our life and death
and there will not be us with you
and we will not be together
everything will fly away all will pass

12.09.18

weep weep weep the whole world
cry the whole cycle of darkness and light
and the whole azure of heaven and all the azure
and all the books that were on the bookshelf
on the shelf that burned then in august
when attacking death on our house

scatter the same voices last fatal
be carried away and carried all around
do not give air to all this here
do not give the sky and do not give more papers
do not dictate any more of these strange words
perhaps the land is worth and it will be necessary to stop

and right now and at this very moment
and it is at this hour this month in this year
all stopped what it means stopped even then
then when august was next to me when the books were
when the whole world was not even in the flames at all
when the bookcase was with me and the leaves did not sob

11.09.18

and there were pyramids all around
on this strange love day
and I remember the mountains and they were
were they and then with me
and the glasses fought against the dishes
something strange was not so then
but it passed but it was gone and always
and maybe it was not at all ever

and the pyramids surrounded my walls and spirit
and what is the spirit like not sand
and the water spun in a huge waltz
a waltz of words perhaps I will say in waltz
dreams I'm about to say
after all darkness and sun and night and day
and dull fog lights around
it's also heaven it's the same hell
but is not this all love

10.09.18

there were a whole day in the clouds
but the glint of the sun was
and there was joy and happiness
and there were stars somewhere in my eyes

and there were frosts and cold autumn
but it was summer was the heat
there was a window open and the window was closed
in other ways as always as always

09.09.18

day passed
I walked this day
slightly like a shadow
slightly like snow
walked by day i
I went through it

and it was raining today
small not big
but the wind was very blowing
very very large
and everything was spinning around
foliage in the trees
and everything around is somewhere
it raced like I did

early in the morning I got up
and looked out the window
and there september
september is burning
in the window
here are the new expensive
here are the new ways
after a strong strong
storm of black

08.09.18

the strongest thunder in the street
and in all the lakes today
today it was reflected
reflected and sparkled
and range all the limits
and the stars fell off
and there was no sun
autumn has come

07.09.18

and there was anger
among papers among the parties
there was anger
among the trees of the dead
among the boards and the world
not real not living

and there was this fury
and I was alone
one with destiny
with death and birth
I again led my steps and moves
and there was this fury
among the blood papers

06.09.18

these lips through them
the universe passes the current
the speed is incredible where I am
and where did I get my lips unexpected
and immortal when it was a clock
in this world
this current
where does this force
not allowing me to speak normally
then the tooth is now the lip
then some kind of infection
why is that
o farm days
o water
in a bottle

05.09.18

strict locomotives
strict trains
go ride somewhere
but where but where
where are they going
again and again they
strong and powerful
lights they are lights they are lights

and green and red
and yellow and orange
and blue and black and white
and pink and brown
and lime and marsh
and all sorts of things
where they go again
lights they are lights they are lights

04.09.18

little fear
I drank it
I drank it
and did not notice

I did not stumble
did not notice
how is the darkness around
became one and one

little fear
I drank it
I drank it
and everything went well

so unexpectedly
and so quickly I
I'm fast
this pipe was swallowed

03.09.18

that something volatile seemed
because of the hard brown binding
the book flew pages
everything was in a huge bright flight

and all the previous distances were forgotten
forgot all that will be next
everything around was forgotten and pulled
was just that the flying flew

it flew a black flame of a fire
it flew and flown and circled
but all this was just a melody of the eyes
only the sound of flutes of distant

02.09.18

tired a bit
a bit tired
and again the muscles of the face
again rest do not give

but I'm tired
I'm a little tired
I'm tired of today
I'm tired of fatigue

01.09.18

it was raining
but only in my head
everything was gray
everything was like an autumn

summer is gone
today was his last day
met an old friend
nothing changes and goes

played piano
quietly and almost silently
I looked at the sea
it merged with the sky

31.08.18

wrote an old friend
and I was a skeleton
and I was a dead man
nothing to say I could not
nothing could not say

wrote an old friend
after so much time
after so many months
what topics he touched
but I could not say anything

he pulled my strings
feelings poured into all the blanks
the music was loud around
but only on my balcony
but I could not say anything

30.08.18

again thoughts about the future
again and again they have me
again the future is coming again
again my ages and strangers
all over again and again and again

again thoughts about the future
which like the past does not exist
again and again I all think about it
although I am not in this world
and never me and others were not

no light no darkness there is nothing
only the bushes are burning with flame
only the flame and ice around
flame and ice flames and ice and time goes by
and again and again thoughts about the future

29.08.18

in the rotation of the collar
various flowers are spinning
and tulips and blue flowers
and roses are all red
and sunflowers forgotten

in the rotation of the collar
spinning spinning
spinning spinning is not clear
where it is not clear
heaven and earth are spinning

and the sun and happiness
and happiness and sun
and different different feelings
and sunflowers and roses
everything is spinning a cycle

28.08.18

in the sky sang the mountains today
red moon
she said her true word
and joy and laughter and pain and sadness
and anxiety and fear and horror and confusion
all overtook me at that moment

I was destroyed and created
it was a new birth a new death
these were new steps and not steps at all
I was in the middle of emptiness and darkness
where I was not known where in the moon
probably in the red moon behind the mountains

27.08.18

the days are flying and here is september
on the calendar is
and here is the gold outside the window
rather, definitely not
but gold is
from memories
from anguish and sorrow

they fly flying days
all slip away imperceptibly
where am i now where am i now
but I am in a life in the world
in eternal existence
days fly and days fly
and now september is almost
and the calendar is new or not

but I'm not old
can distinguish
all new now and old
all old now and new
all the lights are now dark
all mourning is now a joy
nothing I can now discern
where am i now where am i now
in life eternal in life

26.08.18

my head fell today
she fell and rotated
around where then where and how
it is not clear how it was rotating
and in what place

she fell and fell
fell and fell as if forever
my head blushed
and blushed and sadness tore
tore my heart and light

but the rebirth of rebirth
all this was I shouted
this degeneration is rebirth
is a new and new harmony
new thoughts and new feelings

25.08.18

fear tears at me
but I cut it
but I'm trying to overcome him
fear and sadness tears me up
but I'm trying to break it
I try to overcome
I try to deal with it
once and for all
I try to overcome
I try to break it
but he will not tear me up
will not tear
will not tear
will not prevail

24.08.18

o a grinding alarm
o what alarm
o what gloom around
o what black color
how strong and how terrible he is

tears flow in the eyes
the eyes of the river go
in front of my red light
in front of my fear
cutting fear

in front of one's eyes
on teeth on teeth in the world
in the world in the dark
on teeth on teeth only
only anxiety is only fear

23.08.18

the moon burned with blue fire
there were houses and lanterns around
there were also darknesses and flies
and we walked with a friend straight
went straight to the celebration and home

we left the embankments
and we left the vineyards
and we left the streets by the airplane
and we left the shops
and everyone moved on their way

22.08.18

she forgot me she forgot
oh why did it happen
there was so much beauty around
so many moon charms and so many colors
and o so much beauty

well why why she had it all
why she forgot me too
why she threw out of my head
all that so life gave
and the fact that it actually stood

21.08.18

remembering the past
remembering the past inspiration
pictures fall in the head
photos take off in the head
sparks around and lights pieces

remembering the past
o how much snow it was
o how much rain has passed
o how much sun went
and tears streamed down my face

20.08.18

this candle fell
fell somewhere
she fell
into the abyss

this candle fell
this candle is now
ball of ice
a piece

this candle fell
fell somewhere
she fell
in the sun

19.08.18

the huge lightning sounded
in that instant well that
in that gloomy and dark sad
in that where the water on the walls creeps
in that where the groves and alleys are round

the lightning came
the royal fell into pieces
what is now where now and how
this is where the lians grow in the bathroom
where the cucumbers lie next to the window

18.08.18

as though in a dream not to fall
as if in a dream do not fall
as though in a dream it will not fail
as though to not know in a dream
as if in a dream not to drown

and in fact there was darkness and lava
and the evenings consisted of luminaries
but there were lakes and stars
who were drowning somewhere there
where there is a strange and strange

as though in a dream not to fall
as if in a dream not to drown
but is not the dream now a dream
but life is not a dream unless why
you are in my dream my face in a dream

17.08.18

and all this time goes
watch and go and go
and all this time goes
and the weather outside the window is changing
It does not change and will never change

there will be my eternal steps and eternal
Cotton on my feet and not mine
will be eternal in front of shadows and shadows
who were luminous or not at all
never been deprived of it has always been

16.08.18

to be with melon
live next to a melon
o a cantaloupe
my soul eats
now this melon

melon melon melon
a melon in front of her nose
and behind a melon
and on the right side
and with a left melon

melon melon melon
she is like love
as sadness as happiness
but there is no difference and never
melon melon melon melon melon

16.08.18

I would like to go with you
on a ship in waves in the sea
I would like to be with you only
and poems to write and poetry to read
and poems to sing

I would like to be with you
forever and for all to be forgotten
so that no one will ever remember us
as when that morning we met
as when we were greeted by the moon

14.08.18

again hit the nail
what is next to the verses
what is next to the most beautiful
and the most wonderful phenomenon
phenomena
effects
pears

again hit him
again with his right foot
how sick of it
how sad from this
why is he doing this to me so
this nail

13.08.18

the dark streets of the foot went
He closed his eyes and began to recall
the sea has come to mind
far distant years
when I lived not in Russia
but lived in Italy
when I lived not in this century
when I lived not in this century

eyes closed
and the light caught fire stronger
and all was suddenly covered by the darkness of the evening
darkness of night blue then again morning
o I remember again how I wandered
how I wandered without thinking about anything and at all
and from the night until the morning at sea admired
admired my eyes my soul my night
in heart

12.08.18

I remember how I dreamed
as dreamed and dreamed
about
so that in a boat with you
swim far away
summer night at the moon

but time has passed
and it showed us all
that all the dreams that were
all dreams are bright that shone
they are all night
they are all really a shadow

11.08.18

hard forehead
around me
tree truss

10.08.18

sat on a bench
the wind blew strong
played a pipe in the distance
and the sun was somewhere
the wind blew strong
leaf game and wind
I was sitting on the bench
eyes looking at the trees
recalled autumn
recalled former moments
the wind blew strong
leaf game and wind

09.08.18

I look at the pillow on the bed
its lost once
but now again found again
I look at the pillow on the bed
and the white veil and the darkness lie down
lays down on me and on my boat
tomorrow the sea will be again at the eyes

08.08.18

I did not go down today under the water
and after all it was necessary it was necessary
I did not go today to the waterfall
and in fact for a long time it was necessary for me he
needed his water sparks
needed his huge pearl
oh why why does not fate give me
does not allow to be clean and washed

07.08.18

hastily hastily
quickness
fast fast
my soul rushes
towards the unknown
towards speed

06.08.18

I watched my essence
I looked at her today
from all sides of existing
He looked and did not let go
and his tongue did not let go
I looked at her and looked at everything.
while the night outside the window did not appear

oh my soul is an eternal mystery
About how much time do I try
you understand and understand
but I figured it out but I realized
all for a long time already understood everything
as soon as they appeared on it
for the first time for the first time

the whole truth of what was and what will be
she was forever with us
from the birth and the first day
from the childhood of our unforgettable
but evolution is degradation
we are growing up
we lose our childhood and lose wisdom

05.08.18