The sound of your thoughts
crunch through my brain
every time
I chew
through
your
lies

The story
writes
the writer

If he would let me
I’d marvel at your ebony hair
falling weightlessly
down your tired shoulders
Oh, how it kills me with jealousy

If he would let me
I’d run my fingers through them
finding comfort in its thickness
creating paths of discovery

If he would let me
I’d sit for hours marveling
at those hazel eyes, very dark hazel eyes
trying to dissect their histories
stories and even their romances

If he would let me
I’d embrace you
tightly, till my heart speaks with yours
in beats in sync

If he would let me
I’d hold your hand
and feel the rush of a 16 year old
high on butterflies and blushes

If he would let me
I’d kiss those wine red lips
and get drunk off of their toxicity
**** sobriety at this point

If he would let me
I’d lie on the hood of my car
under the stars, with you
listening to you foretelling
a vague future of fame and glory

If he would let me
I’d paint a portrait of ultimate beauty
with my fingertips
on your freckled skin
that’ll drive Aphrodite mad

If he would let me
I’ll stay high of off your laughter
enjoying the lightness of joy
all day, everyday

If he would let me
I’d go forth and give you it
but every time
I reach inside my rib cage
to grab it
it pulls back
and protrudes thorns

Oh dear heart
why have you sedated your being
I do miss me some adrenaline?
Why won’t you let me?

“I have heard many pumps you idiot
but none like mine
you think I like being prozac-ked
by your silly fear?

Oh dear you are a fool indeed”

Debt

If I made you king
that doesn’t mean
you get to exercise
dominance on my free will

If I made you king
that doesn’t mean
you get to rearrange the chambers
of my heart to fit your comfort

If I made you king
that doesn’t mean
you get to enjoy your castle
the way you please

If I made you king
that doesn’t mean
you forget what it’s like
to be human

If I made you king
that doesn’t mean
you ally with my weaknesses
and keep my strengths in the dark

If I made you king
that doesn’t mean
you summon wars
in my ribcage
to shake my very core
with battle cries

If I made you king
that doesn’t mean
I am in debt to your royalty

If I made you king
that doesn't mean
you are one

I heard this song once
trumpets of adrenaline
and beats of joy
combined to shoot my heart
with the best drug
my body has ever tasted

I heard this song once
it was 1 am, with drums
of elation mixed with decadent vibrations
my eyes couldn't handle it
they cried with joy

I heard this song once
in the back seat of a car
my limbs awakened
with movements reaching
higher for something better

I heard this song once
with drops of emotions
repeating, beating, dropping
with ineffable beauty
that words went silent

I heard this song once
my whole being shook
to the sound
that music can gift
and
my soul
moaned
with
pleasure

I have always dreamt of a lover
whose complexion teases mine
with its darkness
that sun-kissed muscular
physique

I have always dreamt of a lover
whose arms embrace me
pull my pieces together
after I myself have been shattered

I have always dreamt of a lover
who will "woo me with his words" (quoted)
as I fall into slumber after a drunken night

I have always dreamt of a lover
who will draw me and curve my silhouette
into the most beautiful muses

I have always dreamt
isn't that the best
part?

I have been long gone
I kept my memories
in a suitcase
preserved like fossils
in the museum of my room
but I will carry them with me
as I stumble on the
next thing
that falls in front of me

I have had mistakes
that tried to knock
on the walls of my mind
but it's about time
my brain learns
from practice
over and over
not to fall for their emotions
but to know how to cope with them

I have had moments
that tattooed smiles
on every neuron
creating memories
of moments
that I seek sanctuary in
whenever I find the need to

I have had the idea of change
marinating in me
almost forcing me to believe it
to live it, to breathe
then...

I have had you to look
into my eyes
sometime later
telling me to
"stop faking it
it's always
been you"

I ignored the universe
when it
showered me with signs
over and over

I changed paths
took detours
redrew a map

But at the end of it all
looks up
Hi.
Again.

I drank
till my inhibitions
sat on the shelf
next to the bottle
I saw them dilute
with my logic
"Hello pretty one" I heard
and my mind
smiled

I started
giving ink
to my tongue
and for some reason
I developed a sleeve tattoo
that spelled courage

I do not write for you
I write about you..
Well not about you, about you
but about what you would be
had I wanted to add
a new character
to my fiction

When was the
last time
you felt the
liberating rush
of the naked truth?

I think
it just starts
by you peeling
the layers
that have covered
that **** core of yours

I think
it ripples
rainbows and is visible
to those who see it

I think
not everyone is blessed
with the sight
to see the unseen

I think
you should careless
about everything else

I think
that this trait
is what makes you
yourself

I think
that you don't have
to fake it till you make it
because one day
things will get heated
and my lovely
your plastic act
will melt
uncovering
your inner "me"

I do not want to confine myself to a cubicle
I do not want to type my way through a day
I do not want to bite my nails, fearing I ‘d fail
I do not want to smoke my anxiety, on a Thursday
I do not want to miss sunrise, in traffic
I do not want to train a fake smile
I do not want to mingle, even when I’m single
I do not want to leave quarantine, even if you call it a syndrome
I do not want to jump into busy, I do not miss it
I do not want to forget how to value
I do not want to rush, I like the pause
I do not want to live by time, I want to control time
I do not want to consume a designated lunch, I want to make lunch matter
I do not want lockdown to end

I have loved
for the sake of
loving

feeling

d
      r
             i
                  f
                       t
                           i
                              n
                                  g
for the sake
of me
of you
of everything
just to enjoy
the feeling
of
f
  l
    o
       a
         t
            i
             n
                g

s   p   a   c   e   d  
every      o   n   c  e

in          a

w     h    i   l    e

Hello,
I am she,
a year old
in your
memory...
31 in mine
have we
met before?
it feels
it's just more

For all
the curveballs
life pitched
.......
Thank You

Blame the skies
for giving me the ability
to believe in infinity
in endless chances
after making mistakes
in numerous again's

Blame the seas
for instilling a sense of curiosity
that's seduced by mystery
under the pretty blue surface

Blame the stars
for granting me so many wishes
but never fulfilling my favorite ones

Blame my mind
for not having any borders
that filter what comes out of my mouth

Blame my heart
for rippling emotions that splash
that burn with spontaneity and glow with passion

Blame my dreams
for diluting my reality
with my favorite happy ending

Blame my mouth
for planting promises
on your lips that I wish
I can pinky promise forever

Blame my hands
for caressing and massaging
all the pleasures of life, the pleasures
of being natural, into that thick skin

Blame my words
for saying things
my mouth
will always
fail
to
vocalize
and finally
blame the
last moon
for always
reminding me
of you every time
it's full
anywhere
I am

Time you *******
you robbed me
from my youth
and sped
too fast through my todays
-
my now is too short
my past is too blurry
my future.. too ..
now...
-

It takes a slap of realization
to inject reality in your fantasy

It takes a kiss of honesty
to shock your hazy emotions

It takes a warm bedtime embrace
to instill your happily every afters

It takes a touch of you
to send chills of now, and not what can be

It takes you
to remember me

I watched a live band
yesterday
my stomach churned
against its empty walls
digesting emptiness
and simply
feeling human
....again

With a voice
so mellow
it mesmerized
hypnotized
the murmurs
to a silence

A marriage of strums
carried feelings
embraced
every stander
with a certain warmth
that reaches the heart
I heard my friend say
"they make fall
in love with myself"
how delicate of a statement
to float amidst
the dark space
dancing with their voices

Something pure
was taking place
and as an audience
we have longed for
such a feeling
so foreign
to carry us a bit closer
to our very core
reminding us
that it's possible
for a heart to smile
to prove that
innocence does
still exist

"Who are they?" I asked
"Waynick" she said

I always told
you
you'(r)e
too precious
to be
me(a)su(r)(e)d

A (b)old
heart **(l)ds
more courag(e)
and (s)atiates
more mind(s)
(e)ager
for knowle(d)ge

There i(s)
a certa(i)n
place for you
(s)ustained
in my heart
by
bro(t)herly lov(e)
that you keep
(r)eplenishing

What goes on inside my head
is too sinful for my mouth to speak

What slithers between my neurons
is too dangerous for my tongue to taste

What burns between my nerves
is too fiery for my fingertips to feel

What happens behind my eyes
is too insane for my logic to fathom

What hides behind my smile
is too broad for me to elaborate

What nestles behind every tear
is too salty for the sweet part of me

What rattles behind closed doors
is too rated for my halo to carry

What aches under my skin
is too much for my body to harness

What reddens my lips
is too much for my lovers to taste

What you see today
darling
is but a
taste of
what's underneath

It's judgement day
I would like to see what your brains
have perceived

I would like to know
what your eyes see
do the colors change?
does my image too?

I would like to know
how you hear my voice
and how your brain processes it

I would like to know
what your heart responds to
and how you dissect my dialogue
sentence by sentence
word for word

Basically, I am curious
to see if the picture you have of me
is the same
in the reflection
I see
every
morning

Lust
is l(ove) (st)reet
without
you

Lust is
Lost
without
you

Lust is
life with
"I" (f)eeling (e)xcited

Lust is
flexible
but never
a sin
until
it is
with
(u)

I forgot that you
were just a poem
but now
my
memory
is back

*turns page

My he(a)rt
(m)elts
at the
s(i)ght
of su(c)h (a)
(b)eautifu(l)
lif(e)

I saw you
(a)s a vision
of purity
that
does (n)ot
belon(g) on
this (E)arth
a(l)one
but also
the universe

I want to keep
the version
of you
that's
only
friends
with the
moon & the stars

SometimesIwonderhowIsoundlikewhenItalktoyou,thenithitmelikea
rush­ingtrain.Itisexactlylikehowyouarereadingthis.Becauseallyoudo
when­youarearoundistakemybreathaway.

Kiss me a galaxy
and I’ll orchestrate
the best musical
with each and
every shooting star

Kiss me a note
and I’ll generate
volumes of kisses
imprinted for
each and every moment
I have wanted to
kiss you back

I apologize
to the stars above
I have neglected
your signs

Yet you
persisted..

You believe in miracles
to bring
him knocking
at my door
Again ....
"knock knock"

My lips landed
on yours
I can't wait
to see
where this kiss
will take me